"Under active thyroid, which despite being treated with thyroxine makes me swing between periods of utter exhaustion (when meds level not high enough) and horrendous anxiety (when meds too high)."
I too have an underactive thyroid. I constantly feel exhaused even my levels say they are OK. I have (probably stupidly) even stopped taking my tablets for 2 months so when I go for a blood test this week they will hopefully come back that my levels are too low and the GP will increase my meds. Will have to be careful though cos I didn't realise too high a dose can increase anxiety.
I always used to suffer with insomnia. My body clock was all over the place. I hated mornings, preferring to stay up all night on the net, chatting to friends, researching etc. I would probably still be like that now if I lived on my own, but moving in with DP has got me into a better routine where I try to go to bed as close to 10pm as possible. There were often days when DS was between 0 and 2 where he would be playing in his playroom and I would be in the computer room for most of the day. Saying that makes me feel terrible but I now know that was one of the biggest, earliest signs of him having ASD. A NT baby would just not have let me do that!! A few weeks ago when we were changing internet providers and DP said we would be without it for 1-2 weeks I couldn't sleep!! I felt so anxious, thinking what am I going to do all day? Which frankly sounds ridiculous really.
He also hates mess and clutter and gets cross if I waste the whole week doing nothing, whilst he is working a 50 hour week. I do have to force myself to do the housework cos it's just not a priority for me. I do get to a point where I think this house needs a clean and tidy but that point is probably a lot worse than most other people's and I do the bare minimum to get it back to what I consider an OK level. It actually stresses me out if it is too neat and tidy. It doesn't feel like my home and I don't feel at ease until there are a few things out of place again.
I personally hate routine. I can't make plans cos I hate sticking to things rigidly. I prefer to organise everything last minute and be spontaneous, doing things as I fancy them. However routine does make me function better. I found when DS was 2 and we started doing structured activities like toddler groups, music groups, dance groups, swimming classes, storytime etc parenthood was a lot better. I hated staying in with him on my own cos I got bored and didn't really enjoy just playing with him. I didn't mind if people came over cos then I was distracted.
The same with housework. If I plan a time in my head to do it and stick to that then it's in my mind that it's happening and I do tend to do it. If I don't then I just seem to not notice that I haven't done any for ages.
Was anyone else on here premature? I was born at 30 weeks.
As a child I was extrememly clumsy and I went for sessions with a person I called "the clumsy lady" I presume now she was an OT and I think if I had been born 15 years later I would have been diagnosed as dyspraxic.
I find hellos and goodbyes quite difficult. I find the whole hug/kiss goodbye thing really awkward and I don't know where to look. Even with people I love to bits it seems so false and pointless. But I do it cos it's what you do.
I also find bumping into people I know difficult. Even if they are really good friends I will try to avoid them, turn the other way, cross over the road etc cos I don't really like small talk. I don't see the point of it. I even find walking passed and just giving a smile or hello difficult, but you can't just not cos it's rude. As I'm approaching them I will feel really anxious and wonder how to act.