Live chat with Dr Tanya Byron, Thursday 6 September between 1-2pm

[OliviaMumsnet]

Hi all
We're delighted to announce that Dr Tanya Byron will be here for an online chat with Mumsnetters this Thursday, 6 September.

Tanya is a practicing consultant in child and adolescent mental health and has two children of her own. Her new parenting book Your Child, Your Way encourages you to really think about the kind of parent you are and the kind you want to be, but mostly to understand your child.

Tanya will be joining us for an hour on Thursday at 1 o'clock, so grab your sarnies, get your questions ready and join us then.

For those of you who have unavoidable lunchtime commitments, we'll let you post your questions in advance here.

Thanks, MNHQ

For the rest of you, we'll see you on the 6th.

dr T have tried all of that with regard to sleep - 7 and 4 yr olds STILL get up and mess about/go to loo - even when do rapid return and ignore them (just say goodnight)

what next???

LOL Tutter.

And mine about my mini houdini....

I am a champion of the slow withdrawal at night for poor sleepers.

I wish I could crack the daytime stuff.

Aitch. I don't want to distract Dr Tanya from answering all your questions but the love is certainly apparent here at MNHQ.

Oh i missed this - am i too late?

I have a question!

My 5 year old has been scared of pooing for 18 months. It started at a time of total stress for the whole family - her dad was ill and in hospital and i was v. stressed. Any change and it comes back. She's just gone into year one and its back.

She'll hang on for sometimes as long as 7 or 8 days - and for 6 of those she'll be busting - but will lie face down quietly to try and control the feeling of needing to go. She'll pretend she doesn't need to - and only goes when she has absolutely no control and it's coming. Then screams and says she's scared - gets hysterical.

I've tried every approach! Ignore, reward, read stories on the loo, reward for trying, leave it totally up to her - and then sometimes just lose it myself as it stops her being able to concentrate or be happy and i get so frustrated!

Any tips?

My nine-year old used to do the lying thing and I used to say "or did he maybe say ...." "or did you maybe remember it differently..." She'd say "oh yeah. I remember now..." and tell the truth.

Whilst you're doing broad issues (no I'm not talker gripper knickers) could you give some twin/triplet advice please. You know.... ensuring one doesn't dominate another, time outs for when they are both smearing butter over the couch whilst you're on the loo (perhaps that wasn't broad enough).

But I think you get my drift. Thanks!

Blimey, Dr T is busy - she's on Jezza Vine tomorrow!

ooer did mn crash then due to frenzied Dr T traffic?

if Dr T doesn't get time to answer my jealous big sister question here, perhaps she can answer on Jeremy Vine tomorrow

What do you do with a toddler 21 months that won't eat dinner, great appetite otherwise but not for dinner. Also hates to try anything new....I don't want her to have food issues. Thanks

(psst whos jezza vine?)

(Jeremy Vine, Radio 2, 12 o'clock)

Hi Dr Tanya-

My son is 6 and has Selective Mutism.
Could you give me a brief summary on how best I can help him please?

Would be much appreicated as he is struggling at school and want the school to understand how best to help him also.

ahha thank you!

MN crashed here too

VeronicaMars: see DrT's post of Thu 06-Sep-07 13:25
hth

Veronica - Dr T has an answer about food earlier in the thread

Who cares

We have Dr T in the house

So, your new book - its more about supporting parents in their choices, rather than methods of handling children?

dr t just broke MN.

Yeh and can we have a broad "appropriateness of rewards and sanctions for older kids" one too please?

total respect btw dr t

Toiulet training must only start when a child shows they are ready. In this world of competitive parenting I am amzes at how many parents push their kids before they are ready because their friend's kid is same aged and using the potty. Ridiculous - let kids be kids and develop at their own pace not at our agenda. Besides being potty trained early is no marker of being an Oxford undergraduate later on. I've had kids in my clinic who are faecally impacted and need it removed and then laxatives to help them poo because they so anxious about soiling / wetting. It's trial and error and mistakes must be allowed. Any smearing ignored. Anxious kids could be helped by slowly dedsensitising them to what they anxious about - the toilet - by letting them do their business in their nappy but in the bathroom and over time then sitting on the loo/ potty and then eventually lossening the nappy over time. BTW my condolences to the new mum who lost her mum and is the first of her friends to have a baby - that's really tough - but I like what you said earlier about us all and our kids being different and we should respect that and that poss progs including mine push out a notion that it all techniques in a one size fits all way. I agree and think you will be a good mum despite having less support than many new mums do. I also agree that TV can simplify and while I always tried to be diverse in my work and look at what was unlying the probs the parents were having not focus on labelling the kid as the problem, I have stopped Tv shows because I also think there's too much now and getting too somplistic. PS my fingers are falling off....