Live chat with Dr Tanya Byron, Thursday 6 September between 1-2pm

[OliviaMumsnet]

Hi all
We're delighted to announce that Dr Tanya Byron will be here for an online chat with Mumsnetters this Thursday, 6 September.

Tanya is a practicing consultant in child and adolescent mental health and has two children of her own. Her new parenting book Your Child, Your Way encourages you to really think about the kind of parent you are and the kind you want to be, but mostly to understand your child.

Tanya will be joining us for an hour on Thursday at 1 o'clock, so grab your sarnies, get your questions ready and join us then.

For those of you who have unavoidable lunchtime commitments, we'll let you post your questions in advance here.

Thanks, MNHQ

For the rest of you, we'll see you on the 6th.

As a new mum, 1st of my friends to have a baby and with a very small family support network, plus fact that my mum died several years ago...I didn't really have any one to give me parenting advice. Felt like I must be doing it "wrong" as I wasn't following any particular 'method'. Nonsense, obviously!

Also, I think we are all SO painfully aware of the potential consequences of what we simplistically see as being Too Strict or Too Soft that we blither about fearing that our reprimand is Damaging The Child and Turning Them into a Serial Killer/ASBO-teen/Alcoholic/Person who can't form healthy relationships with others as their Mum told them they HAD to eat dinner BEFORE pudding.

HURRAH for dr tanya re food and those weirdy wipes!
i even went so far, mind you as to have me and DH try to spoon feed each other our meal one night (a la P Leith) and we decided on that basis to ditch spoons altogether and do BLW.

Thank you Dr T...I won't feel guilty now about saying 'nothing else' - given half a chance my son would live on sausage and fish fingers he won't touch anything with a sauce...I'm sure it will come though.

lol vvv...

it really works!

Dr T could be responsible for the fall of weightwatchers...hurrah

please cover my sons sleep...it isnt the typical getting out of bed marlarky and with 3 under 4 I am getting desperate. He screams from in bed have reassured, ignored, rewarded, and nothing makes a difference,all these have been tried for over 4mths at a time.

I rthink with time out its when your child is ready- you can tell whether they understand it by watching them. All children vary. DS1 could understand probably at 18 months, whereas (more SN) ds3 only just realises now at 4 (CM ahs started it this week).

just popping in to say

I heart Dr Tanya

and have the utmost respect for her ethos, her principles and her skills

ta !

poor Dr T. we really should have had a header on this, say child discipline, food, sibling rivalry etc and Get Her To COme Back Every Week!

(I am PMSL at Dr Tanya's description of the make up artist trowling on ever more layers of eye make as the week wore on and everything gotting more hysterical! Now my illusions are soooooo shattered! I saw Dr. Tanya as doing her own make up, efficiently and perfectly before breezing stylishly in to the House of TT each morning, and it staying put each of every day, all day, because it simply would not dare to slid sweatily off the way it does from the faces of us mere mortals, because she, after all, is Dr Tanya, Tamer Of Incredibly Beastly Children, Who Sometimes Behave Worse Than Mine!!! )

Am having to perform such a mental shift now.

Wipes and gripper knickers could be a deadly combo.

But try not to get them the worng way round, lionheart...!

May i suggest, OliviaMumsnet, that you show Dr T the roasting that the other guests have had (i'm thinking Piers Morgan) to show her how uncharacteristically lovely and respectful we are being? which is to say that she must be alright.

Oh yes please come back every week!!!!

How do you ignore spitting? If you don't ignore what do you do?

How do you prevent children from copying others bad behaviour?

pmsl Aitch I was thinking that.

Sleep problems are usually two fold - problems settling to sleep and night waking. From 6 months most kids should be able to settle themselves to sleep in a dark or dim room. Some children require some help in learning this. The key issues are settling calm routine before bed and positive sleep associations which means things like thier cot or bed, a teddy next to them. If you rock your child asleep or they suck on a bottle or dummy to sleep or fall asleep in front of the TV - when they wake in the night (and we all do briefly as we go through our sleep cycles) they will require those things (and thus also you) to get back to sleep. You can do controlled crying but I not a fan of long spells left crying so only a few mins then in and a brief SSh and then out. Or if they come out of the room just be outside and return them with no response at all (even if they kicking and shouting) and leave. Or for kids that appear anxious you can sit by them unitl the ALMOST alseep and then slowly move further away ecah night. For all these you must be calm and not talk and thus don't reinforce their behaviour or make it a game. BTW as you can see there is no way I can get to individual questions so I will look through and give broader answers. Hope that's OK.

Dr Tanya, you are my hero (ine?)

Any advice about older children who tell fibs? Nothing major, just daft stuff that is so patently nonsensical, and usually goes like "well my friend said/did/had...."

DD1 who is nearly 9 has started doing this, I just laugh gently and say "Did they really??" in an amazed tone of voice. Am I doing the right thing?

well im scuppered then..lol Ds has a good bedtime routine but just wont sleep through!

absolutely dr t

that's fine

as long as you answer my question about min age for Time Out

I think the lying thing is something a few people want to ask about, LadyTophamHat I think is one...

yep i want to know that too, tuts.

IMHO and IME if a child won't eat what you have cooked for them ignore them and don't try to force feed them or cagole them cos then they are getting loads of attention

Why would they then decide to start eating - and therefore miss out on all the attention?

That is IMHO anyway

a person with a question not a liar....well as far as I know

Oh yes i'd be interested for tips on dealing with lying too please.