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Having trouble getting your baby to sleep? Join our webchat with sleep expert Andrea Grace, Thursday 23 March, midday - 1pm

62 replies

RachelMumsnet · 17/03/2017 16:46

Does your baby still wake regularly in the night? Are they resistant to daytime naps? Are you unsure how to set up a good bedtime routine? We’re running a webchat on Thursday 23 March between midday and 1pm with sleep expert Andrea Grace who will be on-hand to answer all your questions about baby sleep.

Andrea is a trained health visitor, nurse and mental health nurse and is a mother to four children. Since setting up as a sleep specialist in 1999 she has helped hundreds of families to overcome their children’s sleep problems. She writes for Mother & Baby magazine as well as other national newspapers and her book Andrea Grace’s Sleep Solutions is described as "a saving grace". Andrea has a sleep clinic based in London which offers individual consultations both nationally and internationally via Skype, Face time and telephone.

Join Andrea on Thursday 23 March at midday or post up your questions for Andrea in advance on this thread.

Having trouble getting your baby to sleep? Join our webchat with sleep expert Andrea Grace, Thursday 23 March, midday - 1pm
OP posts:
LalaLeona · 18/03/2017 21:24

How can i stop my 13 month old waking for the day between 4 and 5am? hes grumpy and tired all day.

LillyLollyLandy · 20/03/2017 13:15

I'm very familiar with the various sleep regressions due to having two older children, but what should I do with my 10 week old now to develop good sleep hygiene habits that help us get through those regressions?

PontypandyPioneer · 20/03/2017 19:13

Hi, sorry long one!

My 8 month old still catnaps during the day - he'll only sleep for half an hour at a time, wakes up crying and will not be settled back down. Can I do anything to stop this?

At night he wakes between 10-11pm and will rarely settle back in his own cot. If we move him into our bed he's asleep in seconds. I don't want to co-sleep, I want him in his own cot! We have a good night routine going on - including quiet time, bath and milk.

He will also not self settle - I have to push him in buggy for naps and feed to sleep (bottle) or rock him at night. CIO/CC not an option as we also have a 2.5 year old (who, coincidentally, wouldn't nap either!!)

Thanks in advance for any help!

PontypandyPioneer · 20/03/2017 19:15

Me again,

Also have 2.5 year old who loves routine. His bedtime routine has been the same since he was about 3 months old and he's usually a great night time sleeper.

However, he's still in a cot with sides and a sleeping bag - how can I do a smooth transition to duvet/pillow and pyjamas? He loves his sleeping bag and loves getting in it at night but he's getting too big!

BlueGirl1982 · 20/03/2017 19:46

I have a 6.5 month old who slept well prior to Christmas (usually last feed 10.30/11, slept till 4, feed and sleep till 8.30/9 at least)
Now she wakes multiple times every night, on a bad night it can be every hour, on a better night we get 2-3 hours between wakings. She usually naps for 3 hours in the day (rock her to sleep but she then does 1.5-2hours)
We've had the same bedtime routine since 12weeks and she usually goes into the cot awake and I stay with her with her till she is asleep.
I'm returning to work in April and desperately need some longer stretches of sleep! She is exclusively breastfed so I'm not expecting 12 hours but 4 or 5 would be a good start!

thatmakesmehappy · 20/03/2017 21:10

My 11 month old has started waking at 5am ready for the day, and refuses to go back to sleep. He is therefore knackered and is back asleep by 9ish. We've tried leaving him to self settle but he just screams himself hysterical and won't go back to sleep anyway.
He has a good bedtime routine, dinner followed by Bath, a story, milk and bed.
He's always been a good sleeper, sleeping 8pm-7am, but since he was poorly a few weeks ago we just haven't been able to get him back to his sleeping pattern.
We deliberately avoided doing things like bringing him into our bed, rocking him to sleep and feeding him, out of fear he would develop those into habits. He gets a quick cuddle to reassure him and then I sit with my hand on his back until he settles. This is the only other thing that will keep him quiet and relaxed but doesn't always get him back to sleep.
Any tips? Or is this just a phase?

maccamummy · 21/03/2017 00:12

Hi - I have a 10 month old who typically sleeps 7pm - 5am. We put him down awake, and he gets himself off to sleep quietly. Same for naps, all in the cot, but they last half an hour - but he needs more as I then pick him up, and within seconds he's back asleep so i have to hold him for another hour. How do I get him to nap for the whole hour and a half in the cot? Thank you.

CalJo · 21/03/2017 02:22

I have a 3 month old that has silent reflux and to get any sleep when he was first born I had to sleep with him on me while I was propped up on the bed upright. I've tried co-sleeping and just laying down flat with him on my chest but to not be kept upright wakes him up. He is properly medicated now for his silent reflux and is generally a lot more comfortable but I'm shattered and it's breaking my back having to sleep upright. What can I do to get him to sleep off of me (I have the next to me crib, with sleepyhead and have it propped up for his reflux)

bigkidsdidit · 21/03/2017 19:48

I don't have a question - I just wanted to say THANK YOU FlowersFlowers

Five years ago I came to see you with my six month old who was waking every 45 minutes. I honestly was on the verge of a breakdown (weeping by his cot etc). After a month with you he was sleeping 12 hours.

I used the same technique with no 2 child and it was the same.

So many many thanks Grin

tasmaniandevilchaser · 21/03/2017 20:11

I also don't have a question but just wanted to say thankyou! Almost 8 years ago I was falling apart with sleep deprivation - I was too exhausted and stressed to even make it to your office - and you very calmly and kindly led me through sleep training with my 5 mth old DD on the phone. I got my sanity and my confidence back and I'll always be grateful to you, Andrea. Thanks!! Flowers

CalJo · 22/03/2017 03:22

Another question for you, my DS seems to have only two methods for falling asleep, feeding and being walked about (even rocking won't suffice it has to be walking). I try to ensure he has at least two naps a day and have a whole bed time routine. How do I encourage my three month old to fall asleep without these things. As per my last post he sleeps on me but that's only if he has been fed or walked to sleep

Youcantscaremeihavechildren · 22/03/2017 06:56

We are at the end of our tether with my nearly 2 year olds sleep. He takes ages to go to sleep, sometimes an hour, with me having to be with him all that time or he just screams, he wakes at least once in the night, always wakes crying, and wakes up for the day anytime from 3-5 am. I just can't see an end in sight. He seems to need a proper nap still as he's desperate for it and is worse with the early waking if he's overtired.
Weve seen a sleep consultant but nothing helped. Are we just going to have to accept more years of no sleep? Do some children just not sleep well? (my dd was 4 before she slept properly!)

Girlwhowearsglasses · 22/03/2017 07:19

Another coming on to say thanks! No questions as my babies are now 10 and 8 but you saved our sanity when my twins and older toddler were all over the place.

Thank you

Liskee · 22/03/2017 07:40

Any advice on getting an 8 month old from co sleeping to cot? He's formula fed during day but breastfeeds (a lot) at night as it's easier and less disruptive to rest of household. He naps on me during the day as otherwise he only sleeps 20/30 mins at a time. We've tried CC but he vomited everywhere - twice.

LilaGrace · 22/03/2017 10:37

Hi Andrea
For the last month, our 14 month old daughter has been awake in the night for up to 2 hours, chatting, playing and grizzling in her cot. Her bedroom is next to ours so she wakes us. She can wake up any time of night but it's usually in the middle of the night , anywhere between 12 and 3am. She starts off just chatting and gradually gets upset (probably due to being overtired). Occasionally she's settle back to sleep on her own, but often we end up going into her and giving her some water. She doesn't drink much of it so it's not that she's thirsty.
She goes to bed at 7pm and straight to sleep. In the morning she wakes anywhere between 6.30am and 7.30am. She's had a few ear infections this winter but this night waking started when she was perfectly well. Can you advise what to do (if anything)? Thanks in advance x

choclateyclare · 22/03/2017 16:31

We recently moved our 2 year old from a cot to a toddler bed as he is very tall and was getting too big for the cot/sleeping bag. He has never been a good sleeper and for the last couple of months has wanted me to sit next to the cot and hold his hand as he goes to sleep (I would leave the room initially after putting him in the cot and then return later if he got upset). We tried to ensure that it was a gradual transition – (talking about the bed, taking him to buy it and help set it up, having the bedding in the cot first, putting it in the same position as the cot etc). He also seems okay with napping in the bed during the day and is keen to sit in it and read. Since moving to the bed he has been crying and screaming as soon as I leave the room, this can continue for several hours - nothing I could do seemed to comfort him, and he only eventually fell asleep when I lay in the bed next to him (then woke again in the night and early morning). Bedtime routine has also remained exactly the same and there have been no other changes in his life. I wondered if this might be some kind of anxiety, and if so, how best to deal with it? Thanks

Princta · 22/03/2017 17:03

I have twin girls who are nearly 7 months old. One is a pretty good sleeper who mainly wakes when her sister screams but other than that, mostly sleeps through.
Her sister is another story. She has a possible cow's milk allergy and eczema which are now pretty under control with diet and medication. She goes down quite quickly with a lot of crying and us putting the dummy in at 7pm ish but then from about 10pm (sometimes before) starts crying out and thrashing around. She can sometimes be settled with a dummy or a few strokes early in the night but by 2am we can spend the next four or five hours stroking, patting, putting the dummy in etc before often giving in and cuddling her back to sleep as nothing else seems to work. She rarely sleeps for more than 1 1/2 hours before crying out. Often she doesn't even open her eyes but if we ignore her she gets really worked up and is then fully awake and she also wakes her twin sister. She still has a dream feed at 10.30 and is not desperate for her milk in the morning so I don't think it is hunger. Do we need to separate them for a while and let her cry it out more? Sorry for the long post!

ChorusLine69 · 22/03/2017 18:33

Pontypandy I am in v similar situation to you. I have an 8 month old who barely naps in the day ( if she does, it will be in the car or baby carrier or on me after a feed. I have a 2.5,year old also, which can make routines tricky as need to get out and about with him.
She goes down in bedside cot around 7pm but wakes a couple of times before settling til around 11pm when she cries until I bring her into bed. She sleeps pretty well in bed with me but I'd like to get out of the habit and get her into her own cot soon! She cannot seem to settle herself either and I have tried leaving her for a couple of mins but she just cries.
She is still having one night feed ( I'm breastfeeding) but it's more for comfort I think as she's eating and drinking plenty in the day.
I'm really tired and just want to see a light at the end of the sleep deprived tunnel!

Melon85 · 23/03/2017 03:50

Catjo exactly the same - almost identical infact! So hope the silent reflux ends soon as the 3 month mark seems pivotal in routine and habit setting.

OhWhatAPalaver · 23/03/2017 06:14

Please could you help us with our 9 month old? She's goes down okay after 8pm breastfeed (have to feed to sleep) but during the night she wakes frequently and is impossible to put down in her cot without waking her and when she does finally go down it's only for 1-2 hours and every time she wakes she will only be breastfed back to sleep. She seems to just want to sleep on me all night.
I don't know why she's doing this again, a few weeks ago we had got to a point where she was going for 4 hour stretches sometimes, which was great but it didn't last long. I don't know if it's wind, teeth, that we've just upgraded to the sleepyhead grand or if it's something else entirely.
I'm getting migraines and muscle pains from lack of sleep so something needs to be done. Would greatly appreciate your advice.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 23/03/2017 07:41

We're having a baby in the next 6 weeks and are hoping for better sleep than with the last one. At what stage do you recommend actively taking steps to encourage good habits?

AlfaMummy · 23/03/2017 09:01

My almost 7 month old daughter is teething and has gone from sleeping through, or just one quick feed a night , to waking up to 5 times a night and is often difficult to get off to sleep. We've also recently moved her to her own room and cot. I currently feed to sleep or almost sleep. She used to feed and then go into her Moses awake but she won't anymore.

Is there anything I can do to help with this period and to help her sleep more? I don't want to do anything which will make this continue once the teething has calmed down. Many thanks.

Pregnantabroad · 23/03/2017 09:34

I have non identical twins who are just over 3 months old (born at 37 weeks). I struggle to get them to sleep without constant rocking. I have a 4 yr old at school and a 3 yr old at pre-school/home so morning and afternoon naps are always in the buggy then continued at home by rocking to try and get them to 45 mins. Inbetween times I either have to take them for a long walk/drive or rock them in the buggy at home. It is utterly exhausting and unsustainable. It has got worse over the last 3 or 4 weeks where I can't rock for a few mins and then leave them. After 5 mins one wakes up, so I rock, then the other wakes up, so I rock and so on. Occassionally I get a longer break but it is very unpredictable. After a bad night (also getting worse) I can't bear it. I am also recovering from a slipped disc and rocking the buggy irritates my sciatica. I know how important sleep is but it is ruling my life and impacting on my relationship with my other family. I am not expecting them to sleep through the night, I just need them to settle themselves. I feel like cry it out training is the only option (especially as my husband often gets home late and travels) but I didn't do that until my other children were a bit older. Also, I'm cowering at the thought of how much crying might be involved. What do you suggest? Thank you.

Dontfencemein · 23/03/2017 11:13

I want to stop co-sleeping with my 13 month old. He starts off the night in his cot but invariably ends up in my bed later on. What is the best way to go about this?

samanthajayne17 · 23/03/2017 11:51

My 9 and a half month old son can not sleep unless he's breastfed to sleep. I want to start weaning Jim off breast milk before his first birthday so how can I get him to sleep without breast? I tried just ignoring him but he will cry all night and not be able to sleep unless he's had his breast milk. He also wakes another 2 times in the night where he will again need a breastfeed to sleep.