Webchat about the menopause. Join journalist and author of 'The Hot Topic' Christa D'Souza, Thursday 1-2pm

[RachelMumsnet]

Journalist and author Christa D’Souza will be joining us for a webchat about the menopause on Thursday 12 May between 1 and 2pm. Christa’s book The Hot Topic: A life changing look at the 'Change of Life' has been described by Mariella Frostrup as ‘a no-nonsense, myth-debunking and even amusing look at the M-word’. In a wry and honest account of her own journey into and through menopause, Christa looks at why menopause is still such a taboo word and why there’s so little discussion about such a key milestone.

Join the discussion and post up questions for Christa on Thursday lunchtime (1-2pm) or feel free to post up Qs in advance if you’re unable to join in at that time.

Christa D'Souza was a guest on Woman's Hour this morning talking about The Hot Topic. If you missed it, listen here at 35.35.

Photo by Jenny Lewis

About five years ago I asked a question about the menopause on MN and was advised to take my query to Gransnet. I'm glad to see the gradual shift on here as the MN population increases, and ages with it.

It's shameful that women aren't given the same info and chances at open discussion that we give to young girls about the onset of puberty.
Of course it's to do with the loss of fertility and with it our vitality and perceived attractiveness to the opposite sex that the menopause brings about.

The more we talk about the menopause the better - let's get away from the run of the mill jibes about hot flushes and grumpy moods.

I so agree with the above. I'm 51. My mother died when I was early 20s so no role model regarding the M. I'm finding it sad and depressing. Asked if any of the doctors specialised in the m at my GP and was told no. There is lots of info out there on the net but it is difficult and conflicting.

My question is:
I'm 51
not had a period for at least 6 months
Dreadful hot flushes at night
Loss of libido
Pain during sex.
do I need HRT?

My question is this: Why do people go on and on about hot flushes when the true demons of menopause seem to be exhaustion so severe it almost obliterates your life, depression and memory loss? Every woman I know of my age (52) has suffered these symptoms, been to and from the GP desperate to find the cause of this energy drain. I'm convinced it's menopause. How come we all have ME when we hit 50? Even your book title is all about hot flushes. They seem to be the least of the problems but the only one we're allowed to go public on.

I expected my periods to be less frequent instead I have the opposite and have had 5 in the last 8 weeks.

I saw my GP and I said no to hormone treatments - I decided to wait and see how they continue. This is proving to be a nightmare as I need to book a smear test - had one in Feb but been recalled.

I hate the way that my body is hot, it's as if I have increased my temp by a few degrees, I don't have many hot flushes though.

You need to listen to the link.

It is not a menopause expert. It is a journo who had one. (Menopause, that is, not the expert. Unless...........)

My question: I had an earlyish menopause 46/47. My GP said I didn't need HRT because I didn't have any unpleasant symptoms. Now I'm 53 I'm worried that I didn't get the protection against heart disease, osteoporoses etc that HRT might have given.

Am I right to be concerned and, if so, could my GP prescribe HRT so long after menopause?

I am nearly 54 but still having regular periods (help!). I am having ALL the symptoms of the perimenopause but the worst by far is the terrible mood swings I experience every month. It's affecting my partner and family - and of course me. I have NO energy at all when these strike and feel awful about every aspect of my life. I've been prescribed two different types of antidepressant (Fluoxetine and Citalopram) but both make me feel horribly sick and give me stomach pains so I've stopped taking them. Now need to try something else - alternative?. Can you recommend anything that helped you? Thank you :)

Hello
I'm 43 and have been in peri menopause since I was 40 - no idea when in my frailty go into menopause...my mum and sister both had hysterectomies by 35 (fibroids)
Started quite acutely with an episode of atrial fibrillation (no issues found and
No action taken)
Then periods began to get less regular - cycle can be 24-30 days
Horrendous night sweats - wet through.. Very unpleasant.
They don't last as long....I'm down to 3 days now but the first day is VERY heavy
Have had a scan and bloods - all ok - no fibroids
I'm vit d deficient - on tablets for this now
I'm finding it very hard to deal with tbh.
I work pt, look after my mum, have 2 DC and a Dh who works away.
By 4pm every day I'm ready for bed :(
Aches and pains, joint pain, awful headaches and nausea when my period arrives.
Menopace plus has helped with the night sweats, but I'm still troubled with all the other symptoms.
GP very good, and I've tried 2 types of hrt but both made me bleed VERY heavily and I ended up on meds to stop the bleeding.

Tried the coil....begged them to take It out after 6 months.
Depo made me put on 2 stone and awful mood swings
Can't take pill as I'm a stroke risk.
I'm lost as to what to willing to try pretty much anything at this stage....

...oh god, yes.
The mood swings!
Dh and I call the week before my period "hell week"
:(

Oh...and zero libido.
None.
Zilch.
Nada.

This zero libido thing, is it only during menopause or is that is for the rest of time?

I only ask as DW and I had a very healthy sex life. Recently there have been the tell tale signs of hot flushes and pain during sex. This could I assume be sorted with additional lubrication but the zero libido can't.

Obviously I currently have not changed, I still fancy my wife to bits, BUT have no desire to instigate sex with a wife who, out of loyalty or a sense of misplaced duty is happy to participate 'as it is unfair on me' - So essentially I am asking is this a phase or are we done having sex?

Why are GPs so woefully ignorant of both symptoms and treatments for menopause?
I've had to fight to get diagnosed (at 41 so too young according to one GP) and have my symptoms credited as menopause. Been prescribed antidepressants, diazepam, sleeping tablets but not HRT... It's rubbish.

I am very much hoping it's not forever :(
Wrt GPS - I can't complain really - but the hrt or anything else I've tried hasn't worked for me. It was the GP who suggested soya based supplements for the sweats and it has def helped.
I'm currently sat on the sofa after doing the dinner and cleaning up and doing the dishes.
I'm taking ds1 to the cinema and I could just cry....I'm so tired I just want to get into my pjs and go to bed to relax!
Dh is busy finishing decorating the conservatory so I can't ask him to take Ds and ds2 needs looking after anyway.
Sigh.
I'm 43 fgs. I feel like an old woman :(

Badders, why are you at risk of stroke? Is it family history?

And the lack of sleep. Why does no one care about that?

I think I might be experiencing perimenopause early (I'm 42). Symptoms are depression, anxiety, high temperature, migraines, feelings of hopelessness, lack of concentration. My GP is no help at all - did some blood tests for thyroid levels etc. All ok.

I have the money to seek private treatment. Being well enough to work and function normally is of paramount importance to me, so I really don't care how much it costs. I just need the symptoms to go away and to feel like myself. So, what type of specialist should I see? An endocrinologist? A gynaecologist? Are there "menopause experts" out there? Who is the A-list menopause person in the UK?

After I had my eldest son I began to get hemi plegic migraines - so pill is a no no

Hmmm
I saw a private gynae who - after the bloods and scan were ok - offered me either an alblation or hysterectomy!!!!!
My bleeding isn't bad enough for either of the those options but no advice for the awful peri symtptoms others than a prescription for transemic acid (which I haven't taken)
I'm sure there must be menopause specialists out there but I haven't found one
Yes, lack of sleep is very debilitating - I get by on about 6 hours broken sleep a night atm

Sorry that should read 5 hours broken sleep!

Oh..,and the brain fog!!!!
I make lists
LOTS of lists!

The exhaustion is really important to flag up. We are trying to carry out normal lives in a knackered haze.
I simply don't know anyone I work with (they are either male or younger than me) who is going through this.

I have no energy or enthusiasm for social occasions, I dread getting invited to weddings - it's about all I can manage to drag myself around at work.
I'm on hrt patches, which have saved me from going over the edge of depression, but I'm still mostly too tired to get the best out of life.

Why does nobody take us aside, say at age 35 (or even 13) and tell us about this?

I guess I had no one to tell me pear....mum and sister both had hysterectomies by 35 and on hrt. In fact mum only came off hrt at 65 after 30 years.
I wish I'd known just how ill it can make you feel!
NAusea, migraines, joint and muscle pain, diahorea.....the list goes on...
Dh and I are away this weekend for out anniversary....I'm dreAding it. I will be exhausted next week

I am on HRT which helps a bit but I'm still feeling low,anxious and forgetful. How are you meant to manage a full time stressful job and cope with family problems feeling like this?? Work colleagues treat me like a slow old biddy now and a bit past it which doesn't help

Sadly I'm at work today but will check in when I get home!