Webchat about the menopause. Join journalist and author of 'The Hot Topic' Christa D'Souza, Thursday 1-2pm

[RachelMumsnet]

Journalist and author Christa D’Souza will be joining us for a webchat about the menopause on Thursday 12 May between 1 and 2pm. Christa’s book The Hot Topic: A life changing look at the 'Change of Life' has been described by Mariella Frostrup as ‘a no-nonsense, myth-debunking and even amusing look at the M-word’. In a wry and honest account of her own journey into and through menopause, Christa looks at why menopause is still such a taboo word and why there’s so little discussion about such a key milestone.

Join the discussion and post up questions for Christa on Thursday lunchtime (1-2pm) or feel free to post up Qs in advance if you’re unable to join in at that time.

Christa D'Souza was a guest on Woman's Hour this morning talking about The Hot Topic. If you missed it, listen here at 35.35.

Photo by Jenny Lewis

I've only ever experienced a tiny number of episodes that could be described as a hot flush. I'm talking single figures here. I'm 50, and my periods, having been regular all my life, simply stuttered to a halt towards the end of last year.
Far, far worse are the emotional effects, the mood swings, the anxiety. Like most people I have real things to worry about, but I can barely face the most minor setback like needing to call out a plumber without feeling hugely disproportionate dread. I'm becoming a nightmare car passenger too. I never say anything, but every now and then I'm convinced an oncoming vehicle's going to crash into us and I have to screw my eyes shut and try to stop myself cowering into the door. (It's not the same when I'm driving, thankfully.)
And if someone can tell me where my libido's hiding, I really really want it back.

I've had an early (surgical) menopause due to breast cancer and the brca2 gene. I'm 38.
What I'm finding hardest are the hot flushes, insomnia and pain during sex.
I can't use HRT because of the cancer, and it's not something I can really discuss with my friends as they're not going to be experiencing it for hopefully a long time!

Christa is here at MNHQ and ready to start answering your questions. A very warm welcome to Christa DSouza ....

Hello there! Longing to get stuck in with all your questions...I should say, I'm not a doctor but i can tell you how I got through it, how my friends got through it and what the various doctors I spoke to told ME. Two minutes to go...

@BreconBeBuggered

I've only ever experienced a tiny number of episodes that could be described as a hot flush. I'm talking single figures here. I'm 50, and my periods, having been regular all my life, simply stuttered to a halt towards the end of last year. Far, far worse are the emotional effects, the mood swings, the anxiety. Like most people I have real things to worry about, but I can barely face the most minor setback like needing to call out a plumber without feeling hugely disproportionate dread. I'm becoming a nightmare car passenger too. I never say anything, but every now and then I'm convinced an oncoming vehicle's going to crash into us and I have to screw my eyes shut and try to stop myself cowering into the door. (It's not the same when I'm driving, thankfully.) And if someone can tell me where my libido's hiding, I really really want it back.

The nervous passenger thing! I'd totally FORGOTTEN about that. Became a total front and back seat driver too. One friend of mine, a really together lady told of how she went to the butcher to get some sausages, he didn't have the rosemary ones and she literally burst into to tears, an emotional wreck when she got home. Her husband and kids thought someone had died it was so traumatic.
Look, does it help that I was like that too, and I'm not any more?
The libido thing. Yes. a light switching off, almost. I will return to this in depth.....

Any suggestions to naturally shrink fibroids. I have at least 5 - 4 plum sized and 1 orange sized. I've been offered medication or a hysterectomy but don't fancy either option.

@weebarra

I've had an early (surgical) menopause due to breast cancer and the brca2 gene. I'm 38. What I'm finding hardest are the hot flushes, insomnia and pain during sex. I can't use HRT because of the cancer, and it's not something I can really discuss with my friends as they're not going to be experiencing it for hopefully a long time!

Well. I had cancer. And it was oestrogen positive which in many ways is worse from the HRT point of view. I had thought HRT wasn't available to me for this very reason but i spoke to three very reputable doctors who said that actually, I WAS. After much deliberation, I went on it. All those symptoms cleared up. I felt better than I had ever done (and still do). Most importantly, my cancer has not returned. Try another opinion? it may well be there ARE contra indications for you, but it is worth a try. Also look into a herb called Black Cohosh. And Sage. Some women swear by it. Didn;t do much for me, but that was just me and its different courses for different horses. Good luck!

@Itisbetternow

I so agree with the above. I'm 51. My mother died when I was early 20s so no role model regarding the M. I'm finding it sad and depressing. Asked if any of the doctors specialised in the m at my GP and was told no. There is lots of info out there on the net but it is difficult and conflicting.

So agree with you and CuttedupPear. There are no role models. What prominent woman of a certain age admits to being in menopause or going on hormones? My mother, bless her, pretended nothing was happening. It's only now when I press her, she tells me what a black hole she sunk into. That's why I wrote this. Its not just for us lot this book, its for our daughters. And for that matter our DHs, so they know what we are going through. Let's together make menopause less of a tboo for goodness sakes! there's a reason why we we are one of the few species who live beyond reproduction! Its not all downhill from here! There's LOTS to do still.

Yes I have been looking for my libido too ...

@Itisbetternow

My question is: I'm 51 not had a period for at least 6 months Dreadful hot flushes at night Loss of libido Pain during sex. do I need HRT?

Okay, so technically speaking you have not undergone menopause proper until you havent had your periods for 365 days, 52 weeks, 12 months. Technically, menopause only lasts one day! Sounds like, though , your body is gearing up for that big day. I would definitely go to your doctor and ask him about HRT. In fact I'm almost sure they recommend for it to be taken prophylactically, that is during peri menopause, when symptoms can often be at their worst.

I was really pleased to hear this webchat is happening today as I'm right in the middle of menopause. Doctor told me that I had been through and all symptoms stopped about a year ago but they started back with a vengeance about 4 months ago so guess I'm not quite there yet, so will look out for your book. I'm wondering if you have altered your diet and lifestyle at all to help get through the menopause? I've heard the obvious advice - no red meat, cutting back on alcohol and obviously exercise but do you have any other suggestions?

@PeaceLoveGonk

My question: I had an earlyish menopause 46/47. My GP said I didn't need HRT because I didn't have any unpleasant symptoms. Now I'm 53 I'm worried that I didn't get the protection against heart disease, osteoporoses etc that HRT might have given.

Am I right to be concerned and, if so, could my GP prescribe HRT so long after menopause?

Hmm. Well. I only started taking it when I was 54 having, in retrospectgone into the peri-menopause around 46-47. you are right in thinking it protects against the above, however, there are contra-indications in taking it TOO late (check out the WHI study in 2002). Do go back to your doctor. Why shold you go through those horrid symptoms if you don't need to? Would you have a filling without an anaesthetic? I wrest my case.

Clearly HRT worked for you. Any other advice?

@notagiraffe

My question is this: Why do people go on and on about hot flushes when the true demons of menopause seem to be exhaustion so severe it almost obliterates your life, depression and memory loss? Every woman I know of my age (52) has suffered these symptoms, been to and from the GP desperate to find the cause of this energy drain. I'm convinced it's menopause. How come we all have ME when we hit 50? Even your book title is all about hot flushes. They seem to be the least of the problems but the only one we're allowed to go public on.

I do sympathise with you. And you are right. The hot flushes are the least of it. in a perverse kind of way I didn't mind them. They felt detoxifying. Do read my book. I explore the mind set and the brain fog and the bottomless pit so many women feel. When I think, for example, of my poor mother, for example, or my sister who literally felt her life had come to an end. She didn't even bother having a tooth replaced (got it yanked out instead) because she didn't feel she was worth it. Memory loss? I'm almost positive I once put my keys in the fridge. BUT, it does abate. I took HRT, but I spoke to women who didn't and said though it was rough as hell they DID get through it. I cannot, cannot reiterate more how important it is to get some exercise in, if you possibly can (walking up the escalator instead standing on it, for example) and realising we are what we eat. There are things I eat for lunch which sometimes feel as effective as a tab of valium. i avoid those things (bread, pasta) for lunch now.

@aristocat

I expected my periods to be less frequent instead I have the opposite and have had 5 in the last 8 weeks. I saw my GP and I said no to hormone treatments - I decided to wait and see how they continue. This is proving to be a nightmare as I need to book a smear test - had one in Feb but been recalled.

I hate the way that my body is hot, it's as if I have increased my temp by a few degrees, I don't have many hot flushes though.

MMMmm, yes. Its like one's inner thermostat has been set higher. It drove my other half nuts the way I had to sleep with all the windows open in the dead of winter. Good man that he acquiesced. As for periods, mine became more frequent too, and without putting too finer point on it, were roman candle like in their heaviness. Look, if these are your only two symptoms you may be fine without the HRT, one of those lucky women who sort of sailed through it. The smear test thing. What a bore. I cannot help with that, but surely your doctor must have an answer? That is, after all, exactly what they are there for.

@Badders123

...oh god, yes. The mood swings! Dh and I call the week before my period "hell week" :(

Oh I am SO SORRY. it makes me quite upset, actually, to think how much you are suffering, and how, I'm sure not getting that much sympathy, because as women we just get on, don't we ? Or are supposed to. Your list of symptoms is horrendous and on some level, your doctor MUST be able to help with some of them. Maybe you need to be on a different sort of HRT? A smaller dose? When I started , the dose was too high, my boobs hurt, I got terrific "period" pains, I felt bloated.....so my doctor took the dose down and voila, not only back to normal but better than normal. Please, I urge you go back, and if your doctor isn;t initerested, get aother opinion.

Did you take bioidentical HRT and can you explain if you know why people consider it better than conventional HRT? Also do you happen to know if it's available on the NHS?

@Passionfruitpavlova

I am nearly 54 but still having regular periods (help!). I am having ALL the symptoms of the perimenopause but the worst by far is the terrible mood swings I experience every month. It's affecting my partner and family - and of course me. I have NO energy at all when these strike and feel awful about every aspect of my life. I've been prescribed two different types of antidepressant (Fluoxetine and Citalopram) but both make me feel horribly sick and give me stomach pains so I've stopped taking them. Now need to try something else - alternative?. Can you recommend anything that helped you? Thank you :)

Well, first of all I totally get what you are talking about. I've actually been on Prozac for ages, but in perimenopause I had to take TWO rather than one for it to take any effect.I'm now back to one and with an oestrogen supplement, I'm not even sure I need that anymore. I've never had a bad reaction to SSRIs, but I know plenty of people who have. Interestingly, my doctor thinks a lot of us are prescribed anti depressants when what we REALLY need is oestrogen. And this is isn't just for peri menopausal and menopausal women but adolescents and young women. Have you talked to your doctor about it?

Hi Christa!

Now I've not had the menopause yet and I definitely have preconceptions around it (which this webchat is helping debunk!) So this is more of a general question... You said that your book is not just for us but for our daughters and indeed husbands- how do you think we can go about creating role models and educating both sexes about the menopause? Should it be more of a key part of sex ed?

I read somewhere that you have stopped all alcohol. Have you found this helps symptoms of menopause?

This is quite possibly a stupid question, but: is the age when you hit menopause genetic? My mother is only getting menopausal symptoms at the age of 54 as the result of a hysterectomy; up until then, she showed absolutely no signs of slowing down any time soon. I don't know about my grandmother, but I'm guessing she was similar... Does this mean mine will take ages to turn up? I have friends whose mums started getting hot flashes at 40!

Hi Christa!

I have just read your book and found it very interesting. I'm a bit away from the menopause as yet but like to know what is in store.

One thing I wasn't very clear on was your and your friends' experience that the libido comes back?

I found myself walking round waitrose yesterday and admiring lots of slim glam 50+ women and thinking well they look pretty good

I am most fearful that my menopause will clash with my daughter going through puberty!

@BaronDietrichvonOberlitzer

Did you take bioidentical HRT and can you explain if you know why people consider it better than conventional HRT? Also do you happen to know if it's available on the NHS?

Its a tricky one this. First of a both conventional HRT and "bio identicals" are chemically synthesised, so the idea that the latter are any more "organic" is tosh, really. I suppose the difference is BHRT is made out of plant sources, reconstituted yams, for example, where conventional HRT tends to be made of mare's urine. That said conventional HRT, the kind your GP prescribes doesn't have to be made of Horse urine, necessarily. Perhaps the biggest difference is that "Bio Identicals" can be titrated at different doses, unlike conventional or "normal" HRT which is one size fits all. You have to PAY for the prescription, but there are such thing as Menopause Clinics on the NHS. the hormones I take, Oestrodial and Progestin are not reconstituted horses urine, no.

Does that help? I agree, it is confusing.

MrsCampbell I had that - menopausal mum and pubescent daughter. It was a bumpy ride to say the least.

You mention black Black Cohosh and sage. Any other suggestions for supplements? I have spent pounds on over the counter Menopause tablets but yet to find anything that has helped!