Webchat, Tuesday 22 September, 1-2pm: What do you want to know about surrogacy?

[RachelMumsnet]

Come and join our webchat on Tuesday, 22 September (1-2pm), in which three people will share their experiences of, and expertise on, the subject of surrogacy.

Alice Jolly is a novelist, playwright and creative writing teacher. Her memoir, Dead Babies and Seaside Towns is an honest account of her experience of surrogacy. After the stillbirth of her second child, five miscarriages and a stalled attempt at adoption, surrogacy was Alice's final chance to have a second child. Commercial surrogacy illegal in Britain, so she and her husband faced a series of moral, emotional and legal obstacles before finding a woman in the US willing to carry their child. Her book offers a glimpse into a little-known, often misrepresented world.

Helen Prosser is a leading UK expert on surrogacy. Her team at non-profit agency Brilliant Beginnings supports parents and surrogates in the UK, and helps UK parents navigate the complex road of international surrogacy, as well as campaigning for change. She's a member of the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority's National Donation Strategy Group, and a former trustee of the National Gamete Donation Trust.

Solicitor Natalie Gamble specialises in UK fertility law. Her team at Natalie Gamble Associates has represented more than 400 parents starting families through surrogacy, and has campaigned for years to improve the law. Natalie was named in the Independent on Sunday's Pink List as one of the UK's 100 most influential gay people, and as the Times Lawyer of the Week.

Put your questions to Alice, Natalie and Helen at 1pm on Tuesday - or if you're unable to join us then, post your questions in advance on this thread.

The link to Alice's book doesn't work.

Apologies there seems to be a tech glitch there, which we're looking into. Here's a link to the book (fingers crossed this will work!)

Dead Babies and Seaside Towns

Nowt thanks.
Dd aged 16 and 9 months is a straight surrogate baby.
Maybe I can help too?

Good idea for a web chat. Thanks.

Do you think the law in this country should change to allow payment for surrogacy, not just expenses?

Thanks for coming in to talk about this.

I wanted to ask about international surrogacy. I am sure that there are many ethical clinics/agencies but with so much money to be made there is clearly also the potential for exploitation of the women and babies involved. For example in the past there have been reports about women being trafficked to act as surrogates, and the selling of unrelated babies under the guise of surrogacy (e.g. here and here (sorry last one is DM).

So my question is, does the UK system do anything to check the arrangements are legal/ethical or is it all left to the country where the surrogacy took place? In particular, is there any stage in the process where the baby is DNA checked to make sure that the child is who the 'parents' think/say it is e.g. when a passport is applied for, immigration or court processes?

Thanks

In the UK DNA is often used. My social worker (sore point) went on and on in her report about dd looking the image if dh and the court didn't order them for us.

I have a question ré the £10 000 expenses .... how can that NOT be payment? We paid true expenses and it was around £2 000

QOD I don't know the rules but is there an element of eg lost salary on maternity leave etc?

Yes there is. We topped up the 10% of salary the 6 weeks she was off and bought clothing etc and paid for extra childcare and food and bills. I know it was 17 odd yrs ago but I, even in my posit ion, think £10 000 is actual payment
on the other hand, if done for strangers etc why the hell.should.someone not get compensation for discomfort, pain and stretch marks?
I'm very conflicted. Can you tell ?

I assume you can take the whole maternity leave if you wish? In which case £10k as a top up to 9 months of SMP might well be low.

Anyway, I agree it's tricky.

Hello. Surrogate here. 37 weeks with a much wanted baby...looking forward to the end now! Not been the easiest of rides! Looking forward to this chat.

Hi

I wanted to know when a review of surrogacy laws was going to take place? My understanding is that currently in the UK the surrogate can be no biological relation to the child but can legally claim it as their own and refuse to sign the child over to the biological parents. I find this a very frightening prospect for anyone looking at surrogacy as an option! I also don't understand why the surrogate's husband is put on the birth certificate as the father even though they are not genetically related and obviously have not had any physical involvement in the pregnancy.

@GayByrne

Hello. Surrogate here. 37 weeks with a much wanted baby...looking forward to the end now! Not been the easiest of rides! Looking forward to this chat.

Hi GayByrne - how exciting! It would be great if you can join us tomorrow and share your own experience. Hope to see you on here tomorrow.

Thank you for arranging this web chat, fascinating subject.

I would like to understand more about the legalities of surrogacy in the UK versus the situation in other places, i.e. the US

Also how do you make contact with a possible surrogate in the UK and what contract is required/advised, how much can a surrogate be paid or compensated financially?

Also am very interested to hear about the experience of surrogates and those requiring or considering surrogacy.

As I surrogate I can assure you that 10k does not count as payment. Not even close. My husband taking 2 weeks leave for pregnancy/birth etc is £1500 or more alone.
Add in my loss of earnings, clothes, travel (fuel, parking etc) convenience foods (I couldn't cook for months due to severe sickness and so had to be quick cook meals hubby cooked once home.) medication such as gaviscon, and other things I won't mention lol cost way more then you'd realise. I go to a chiropractor so I can walk as my pelvis has tilted. It's not something I'm doing for fun. The idea of anything related to the pregnancy cost wise is covered. I will not have a single penny left towards a break or anything post birth. Not one penny.
This is my second surrogate pregnancy and Honestky I've never felt so awful in my life. I've had so many issues I didn't expect and it's cost a lot more than I expected.
The previous pregnancy was a breeze. My expenses were less.
I never expected it to be as costly as it is so I understand why pure confused but from someone who's currently 32 weeks pregnant, I promise you I needed my 10k. Lol well by the end I will anyway.
But this pregnancy is a GS pregnancy not TS like last time and maybe that's the difference.

How can the UK strengthen its surrogacy laws to avoid the exploitation of women?

The use of eggs purchased from women in poor foreign countries and the farming of poor women's bodies for exploitation from wealthy western couples is often overlooked. Only the benefit and well being of the wealthy western couples is examined, hopefully this webchat will be more than just a PR exercise for a deeply problematic practice.

Technically a surrogate is birth mother and has rights but the only (1 out of 890 odd surrogate births I know of) time a surro tried to keep baby, she was taken to court and the child removed from her care and given to the rightful parents. This was even a TS baby.
However technically you're right. A surrogate, GS or TS can claim baby as their own but it really doesn't happen often as our worst nightmare as surrogates is being left with a baby.

I think they should be a tremendous amount more legislation around the donor egg and surrogate market.

Poorer women, from developing countries are selling their eggs and in the case of surrogacy, their babies, to afford to eat. How is there a justification for that?

I don't agree at all with surrogates using their own eggs, and then getting 'expenses', in my mind that is pretty much baby selling.

I'd like to read an answer to TheXxed's question too

Thanks for all your questions so far.

Just a quick note to say that any legal information given on this webchat by Natalie or any of the guests on the webchat will be general information rather than legal advice (as the answers will be brief and Natalie will not have a full picture of all your circumstances) and neither Mumsnet nor Natalie Gamble Associates accepts any liability if you rely on the information in any way.
Thanks

My question is about the later impact on children who have been born as a result of these international commercial arrangements esp where there is a significant disparity in wealth culture etc between the birth mother and intended parents. Has there been much research on this or is it too recent a development?

I know that there has been research at Cambridge e.g. which has looked at children up to 10 and shown some increase in adjustment problems but not outside the normal range. However, much of this research seems to be families who have used a domestic surrogate and have often kept in touch. I can imagine that it will be much more difficult for children who were born to an unknown woman from a very different culture and in a potentially exploitative arrangement. Presumably it is much more unlikely that there will be any future contact in these cases too (language barrier, illiteracy etc).

Thanks

I'd love to be a surrogate but I don't really understand how to go about it. How can I become a surrogate without being at risk?

Hello to everyone. Very happy to be here to answer your questions.

Hi everyone

I'm really happy to be here and looking forward to answering your questions! Bear with my if I don't type too fast.

Natalie

Gemmalives, what do mean at risk? Ts surrogate here.