UPDATE
Well, I've been round there with the pouffe- I was terribly apologetic, and explained the dd2 had opened the parcel and destroyed all the packaging. Neighbour knows she would be likely to do this, as she's seen her ripping paper and fluttering it out of the window, and I've had to go and clear polythene bits out of her front garden before.
I said "I'm really sorry, but before I realised she'd got to the parcel she'd already taken it upstairs and was playing with it, and, well, I'm really sorry, but it's been shat on "
"Oh, I'm sure it's fine!", she said, "It looks absolutely fine. Thankyou for taking it in."
"Really?" I said, "I've given it a thorough clean with leather cleaner, and it does seem alright, and I don't think it smells..."
Then she kind of stuck her head in the top of the open binbag and inhaled deeply , looked up at me and said "Mmm, I love that smell!"
I was a bit bemused, but noticed her household rubbish was still next to her doorstep and hadn't been collected, and as I'd forgotten to put my bins out last night myself, I offered to take it to the tip for her later today, which she was really pleased about. So, all's well that ends well .
The thing is- I can't get the image of her inhaling the pouffe out of my head...why? Why would you do that?
Now I'm thinking maybe she thought I was affecting some sort of Sean Connery-inspired inflection in my voice when I told her it had been shat on. That's it, isn't it? Please don't tell me that I have to go back...