Tim Dowling, for example, is a twat

[Robespierre]

..who writes moderately entertaining columns about his personal life in The Guardian. Yesterday's was about the perils of self-googling, and in particular of an episode of self-googling which returned the text 'Tim Dowling for example is a twat'

Where did he find that humbling line?? On mumsnet of course!

In the article he claims to have given up self-googling, but we know that isn't true, don't we.

Shall we give him a few more personal insights? I think he is less of a twat than Jon Ronson and he doesn't have a whiney voice.

[HostChris2]

"I haven't touched a scrapbook in MONTHS"

Yeah, yeah, but some day soon you'll be found passed-out, covered with glitter and pritt-stick stains, muttering about treasured memories.

(Thanks pol.)

[morningpaper]

Actually, now I think about it, I did paint the shed floor this afternoon and then



TOSSED GLITTER ON IT

just to see the effect, mind

It needs another coat, so it was purely experimental

[HostChris2]

...then, truly, you transcend gender. Especially by saying 'purely experimental' in a gruffly male manner and then crying.

[Ponymum]

morningpaper - A "shed"? Really? That's what you call it, do you?

'Fess up, it's really one of those cute little garden studio mumsy things advertised in the back of Country Living isn't it?

"Shed"?

[morningpaper]

It is a REAL MAN'S SHED

but I have been transforming it into a summerhouse type affair

So I have removed my BIG MANLY TOOLS into the coal cellar (which is painted cerise btw)

And have removed the side panel of the shed and turned that into french doors

[MissM]

Lucy M is very realistic about babies tho isn't she. I loved her agony aunt reply about a new mother looking as if she's all there and joining in the conversation but actually is asleep and will be for the next 18 years. Boy I could sooooo relate to that.

Do you think it was the real Tim and Mrs Tim?

[Ponymum]

My theory is that both Mr and Mrs Tim were on this thread today... although not necessarily under the names you might think. Just a theory.

[HostChris2]

Your shed has become a zummerhouse; your manly tools have been removed and entrapped in ze womb-like space of ze 'coal cellar'; and ze panel has been sawn away and converted into ze feminine aperture.

How long have you been acting out zeese savage castration rituals, MP? How long have you enslaved ze prit stick in the pursuit of ze feminine?

[Bleatblurt]

It's a pink shed with gingham curtains at the window. We know.

[DaDaDa]

I like Tim Dowling's column. It makes me chuckle; not many things do that.

His wife seems almost as much of a harridan as mine. I can never persuade DW to read it though (I think she thinks he's a twat).

[Hassled]

Dammit, I missed the Dowlings. If they were indeed the Dowlings.

And I won't have a word said about Lucy Mangan. There's nothing wrong with a long sentence as long as the grammar is impeccable. Her agony column in the Guardian is the best thing in the paper.

[Hassled]

MP - you painted your coal cellar CERISE??? That's so last year.

[morningpaper]

At one stage it had a disco ball in it too

It is known as the 'gay cellar'

[cyteen]

Sorry, not read all thread but must simply add

Zoe Williams, for example, is a twat.

You're also a hack of the highest (lowest?) order, if you're reading

[Maiakins]

I don't think Tim Dowling is that much of a twat ... certainly not the twat I'd name if I needed an example. And definitely not any much more of a twat than my DH! A harmless, lovable twat, if anything. I like his columns and I think his wife comes across well. I'm sure I would like her if I met her!

[Latootle]

surely it is easier to say who isn't one these days?

[smee]

Zoe Williams hasn't yet sunk to twatdom, but she's not as good since having a child. Maybe the madness of a second will lurch her back to form

[smee]

Is MP a goth then? Cerise in a coal cellar

[morningpaper]

No if I was a goth I would keep some sort of dead cattle in there

I have painted the shed floor a second time and left a light dusting of glitter

no so you'd notice, just a teeny glimmer

[smee]

'some sort of dead cattle' - that means you've debated options. Do I detect black eye liner? Just a smattering amidst the glitter...?

[MissM]

I agree with Cyteen. Especially that 'oopsy, guess what, I'm pregnant again! I thought the gym wasn't making a difference. Silly me' column.

[AnybodyHomeMcFly]

Like the Freudian post HostChris2

[ronshar]

Is Zoe Williams the Guardian writer who was bitching about children being pulled from private school and joining the local state school? She even listed the order in which they should be made to go to the bottom of the lists. Lovely lady. Especially when she went to some of the most exclusive private schools in the country.
Isnt that called pulling the ladder up behind you???
If that was her then I def think she is a Twat.
If it wasnt then I apologise.

[MissM]

Yep, that's her.

[Tinker]

Rachel Cook, for example, is a twat. She was the child-hater going on about how little time there is to read all teh books she wanted.

Apologies if she's already been twatted. Similarly, the next one but not reason not to twat her again:

Polly Vernon, for example, is a twat.