Does anyone fancy going a bit Stepford with me?

[BEAUTlFUL]

I regret that title now! but will carry on regardless...

Basically, I have recently read a marriage book called "Fascinating Womanhood" by helen Andelin, written in the 1960's, and am starting to practise it in my marriage. It involves a lot of work, but good work, IYKWIM, accepting DH, admiring him, appreciating his efforts, listening to him, being a "domestic goddess", taking over childcare completely, settling him with a drink when he comes home, etc.

I'm LOVING it and actually weirdly feel a lot happier and more confident since I started it! I know it's not going to be popular with many of you, but is there anyone out there who fancies trying it out?

We could do it like a sort of bookclub, and follow the assignments every week. It promises to make your DH absolutely gaga in love again, v attentive, romantic, etc.

But more than that, it really teaches you acceptance, so if they're not being perfect, it really doesn't get to you as much. Or at all.

I know it'll get scoffed at, but I don't care really!

Anyone? It's hard work, but I'm convinced it's worth it as after just 3 weeks, DH and I feel so much closer, he is saying ILY all the time, we are laughing again, holding hands in bed, etc.

Even my mum has noticed. We went there for lunch and afterwards Mum rang up and said, "What's with you two? Your DH looks so happy and confident, and your body-language together was so 'united'!"

It's sad though Dittany. Most of all it's sad . Here we have an intelligent good-humoured woman who genuinely believes that she has to be submissive.

sound if sufferegets turning in their graves....again!

hope mrs despard haunts beautiful

My favourite off that list has to be Tanned. And then Prayerful. Also Exuberant. I mean, Hitler was fairly exuberant. and certainly Firm.

from the quotes here, the book is a sobering and sometimes amusing reminder of how things have (thankfully) changed. I have a book on marriage advice from the 20s, and frankly it is more advanced than this.

The infantilising the woman is just so sick.

Little girls in Afghanistan are going to school in fear of acid being thrown in their faces by religious extremists who think it's wrong for girls to be educated. Is this relevant? Yes!

However, I don't think people should be rude to beautiful, though I know she is wrong. Beautiful, I think you will come out of all this having changed your mind.

". Manner: Next time you are angry with your husband, why not try some childlike mannerisms: Stomp your foot, lift your chin high and square your shoulders. Then, if the situation merits it, turn and walk briskly to the door, pause and look back over your shoulder. Or you can put both hands on your hips and open your eyes wide. Or, beat your fists on your husband's chest. Men love this! Or, there is the timid, frustrated manner of pouting, looking woeful or looking with downcast eyes while mumbling under your breath, or putting both hands to your face, saying "Oh, dear!" These are only a few of the childlike mannerisms you can adopt. "

I'm 44; I don't think I'd make a very convincing Lolita.

Besides, dh isn't really into paedophilia.

roffle at that quote. Priceless. Surely this isn't serious?

It has really cheered me up. if I did that with my DH he'd laugh. And I'm proud to say that my children would tell me to grow up

And 'exaggerate'. Hmmm OK.... not 'you are an arse' but 'you are a total f*ing arse'. How's that?

Sorry. I know I should be outraged but I can't seem to move on from sniggering childishly.

gosh i can't wait to try beating my fists on my dh's chest

i think he'd think i'd gone completely certifiably insane

actually we have a 2.5 yr old
she does enough of that stuff for one household
can't see it helping if I start having a go too...

Since when were Sentimentality and Suavity considered admirable qualities? Surely being suave means that you're a bit too smooth? And sentimental that you are sensitive in the wrong places?

oh dear LOLOL @ "you big, tough brute," or "you stubborn, obstinate man," or "you hairy beast"

god i wish i didn't have so much work to do today this thread is cracking me up yet again

the fun goes on for another day girls!

hope we're all going to be truly fascinating today...

CatIsSleepy on Thu 27-Nov-08 09:46:48
"gosh i can't wait to try beating my fists on my dh's chest"

What if I accidentally knock him down though? Would this be likely to interfere with our Celestial Love?

I honestly think getting a job outside the home will help you with the self-esteem issues you so obviously have. Do you have daughters? Would you want them to be treated this way by their husbands?

Seriously, poor Emmeline Pankhurst.

don't know why this should be so, but the manly list keeps conjuring up unwelcome images of Kilroy. Am I normal?

Serious Q Beaut. Are you a member of a 'charismatic' church like The Vineyard - 'cos their interpretation of the bible (christ centered relationships) regarding marriage is v.similar to the stuff that you are espousing.

I don't like it TBH, we are who we are and I don't like the notion of reprogramming ourselves in order to make our 'menfolk' do stuff.

I know a couple who are members of the vineyard and TBH the 'I must worship my husband' act creeps me out. I tried it with my husband for a laugh and it scared him!!!

Here is another quote from the book:

"Cooing
This is a hard trait to incorporate for today?s woman, but it is a distinctly feminine trait. You can observe it best when you watch someone talking to a baby. You soften your voice, make nice faces and talk baby-talk and gibberish. You can use this same technique with a man."

You get the drift? Men are babies.

They are bloody big kids.

Just ordered book.

reading this thread all i can think of is that i'm so glad my dh was bought up by a woman who knew she was an equal to her husband, who knew the differance between cherishing and subservience, who wanted her daughter to be educated in the same manner as her sons and to know that to stay at home bringing up children is an equally important occupation as any outside the home.

if you cannot keep a man without resorting to 'baby-talk' and 'beating on his chest' or 'pouting', in my book, he ain't worth hanging on to.

Again agree with past posters about different things for different couples, however I think you have gone too far with this beautiful. I think it just shows how little respect you actually have for your own husband to behave in this manner and also how manipulative you are in attempting to changing his behaviour favourably towards you.

I think it is telling that children tend to behave worst in the presence of their own parent's safe in the knowledge that the love is unconditional, you love them for who they are - faults and all.

Although this can not be completely applied to adult relationships it is very suggestive that you are no longer behaving in a manner true to yourself but as a complete fake and as such other human beings will also register this as false behaviour. Just think how we behave towards anyone who panders to our needs using flattery - with suspicion. You have made your other half suspicious of you and even if says or behaves in such a way to show he no longer is- he still will be suspicious and potentially you have lost trust.

beautiful, i would like to suggest that you re read your manly list and take some time to understand what is writen my dear, its contradictory!

also suggest u google suffragetts , and learn what women had to endure to give us equal rights/vote/ect, then perhaps youll understand why the majority are rollicking you about your post.everyone wants better relationships ,thats not a bad thing, but the way u suggest acheiving this is odd.bottom line if someone cant love you and treat you with respect without you .being a doormat ,they are not worth having/putting up with

well you've got to laugh really

otherwise you might be crying at how utterly demeaning and humiliating all this is

what's wrong with treating eachother like two grown-up rational human beings, that's what I'd like to know