Does anyone fancy going a bit Stepford with me?

[BEAUTlFUL]

I regret that title now! but will carry on regardless...

Basically, I have recently read a marriage book called "Fascinating Womanhood" by helen Andelin, written in the 1960's, and am starting to practise it in my marriage. It involves a lot of work, but good work, IYKWIM, accepting DH, admiring him, appreciating his efforts, listening to him, being a "domestic goddess", taking over childcare completely, settling him with a drink when he comes home, etc.

I'm LOVING it and actually weirdly feel a lot happier and more confident since I started it! I know it's not going to be popular with many of you, but is there anyone out there who fancies trying it out?

We could do it like a sort of bookclub, and follow the assignments every week. It promises to make your DH absolutely gaga in love again, v attentive, romantic, etc.

But more than that, it really teaches you acceptance, so if they're not being perfect, it really doesn't get to you as much. Or at all.

I know it'll get scoffed at, but I don't care really!

Anyone? It's hard work, but I'm convinced it's worth it as after just 3 weeks, DH and I feel so much closer, he is saying ILY all the time, we are laughing again, holding hands in bed, etc.

Even my mum has noticed. We went there for lunch and afterwards Mum rang up and said, "What's with you two? Your DH looks so happy and confident, and your body-language together was so 'united'!"

smell better anyway! do you think if i adopt the "principle" dh will start farting in the garden instead of the house , feck id settle for no more dutch ovens!

Holding a lighted match to a fart is quite a good air freshener. It even works on DH's offerings. Smells like just extinguished candles ...all christmassy.

annes got a dong???? wtf is a dong????

It's the perfect Christmas gift! Now when you want to freshen things up a bit, you just press their bellies to make them fart the lovely scent of oranges and cinnamon into your homes, whilst knowing that you have just pleasured your man at the same time with a shot of warm, fraganced air up his hairy arse.

ormran, holding a lighted match to one of my dh farts is not a good idea, it would explode the house( ladies he is nose-rottingly bad)

oh rubarb ,your cracking me up!!! lol

by the way , how did u know my dh has a hairy arse?

Well as long as your crack smells nice, that's alright!

Got to pick brats up now. Happy farting!

I did correct my dong!

what's a dutch oven? Is it some kind of crude metaphor?

errr, dsr, don't all blokes have a hairy arse ??

Rhubarb, sorry but someone has beaten you to it.

I agree that Fly is just the same ("Women! Learn to eat shit and smile! It's your DESTINY to be a domestic appliance!"). And ALL this stuff about male and female 'hardwiring' is arrant bullshit: it always boils down to women having to accept lesser status and modify their behaviour or men won't love them (as though that makes it worthwhile - while it's nice to have a nice partner, it's not worth sacrificing every scrap of self-respect in order to have a partner at all).

Haha I have to buy one of those for dp!

A friend of mine tried this, and she lasted about 3 weeks. Of course her husband loved it at first, but then his standards got higher and higher, and gradually even her very very best wasn't enough. He started moaning about tiny things and expecting more and more.

I saw a programme about it on TV once. A woman was doing it, and feeling very happy etc etc, until her husband decided to let their young son ride a motorbike. In good dutiful wife style, she didn't question his judgement, but you could see it was taking every ounce of strength she had to keep calm. The son was fine of course, but she was a wreck by the end.

Not worth it in my opinion, but then I'm single so maybe that proves me wrong!!

Have you, er, got a little problem in that department, Dittany?

I haven't read most of the posts on this thread, just the first page, so I apologise if I am just repeating what has already been said.

Whilst I don't agree with the OP wholeheartedly, I would say that I get on much better with DH (and everyone else) when I accept them just the way they are. That means not expecting my DH (or anyone else) to change or do things differently because it'd suit me.

Honestly, I'd like my DH to lose a bit of weight and be more vocal about what bothers him (he's the strong but silent type). He'd probably like me to lose some weight too and be less vocal!

I can change me, but not him.

That doesn't mean I condone everything he says or does. And I don't have to. Acceptance does not mean agreement.

The farting tips are great btw.

Talking about farts is rather masculine, ladies. Do please remember you are on the Stepford thread. thank you.

(Ruby -- you made me LOLOLOLOL with that youtube post. I did seem to be suffering from some malfunctions, didn't I?)

I'll just die if I don't get that recipe. I'll just die if I don't get that recipe. I'll just die...

Anyway, this is all a bit non-Stepfordy anyway, as I'm away this weeking finishing a book (writing, not reading!) while DH is a SAHD with the DC. He is doing all housework.

Thanks everyone for all your input. I'll get DH to add it to my RAM so I can think about your comments when I get back home.
xxx

I haven't read this whole thread so apols if someone has already asked this but is there such a thing as a similar book/movement for men? No? Thought not.

GEMZOOKS a dutch oven is when your dh farts in bed and pulls the covers over your head so you can "enjoy" the fragrance.... eeeewww .thats what this is all about BEAUTIFUL IS WRITTING A BOOK - wonder what about?

'I don't want us to blokey equals, like flatmates. I want him to be protective, adoring and romantic. Off his own back. '

I like that Beautiful. A lot. Me too.

Haven't read all of this, but I'm going to be blunt...

Isn't there enough room for misogyny in the world without encouraging even more?

Beautiful, have you no awareness of what the women's liberation movement of the 60s and 70s fought for - and I don't mean bra-burning, but equal pay, maternity rights etc and most of all being treated as an equal not a servant?

And you want to go back to being a 1950s housewife?

Better stock up on some anti-depressants then.

and some valium

and some gin