Page 13 | That annoying guest - what is their christmas crime?

MrsWhites · 2025-12-14T13:54:15+00:00

So everyone has a guest or someone in the family if you don’t host who will do something seemingly innocent that will piss everyone off? Who is yours and why? I’ll go first - My sister because she uses all the gravy and doesn’t get off her arse to go and make more! No matter how much gravy we put out she will always use most of it! It’s got to the point now where we put the gravy boars furthest away from her so everyone else gets a go first!

Bleachedjeans · 15/12/2025 04:48

Macaroni46 · 14/12/2025 14:56

An elderly relative, likely autistic, but never diagnosed who doesn’t close the toilet door, splashes water everywhere every time they go to the bathroom, uses the shower over the bath rather than the cubicle drenching the whole bathroom, uses other people’s toothbrushes and towels, and last year, to top it all, put the bath rug into the bath tub in lieu of a rubber mat. Also leaves trails of tissue crumbs from where they reuse the same manky old tissue over and over again. Drives me insane!

OMG! Sounds like a space-under-the-patio situation 😆. Seriously, it must be so hard to deal with

Mothership4two · 15/12/2025 04:56

sashh · 15/12/2025 03:52

I may have played someone like that at his own game.

I told him that mathematically an egg is a square, his response was, "Oh yeah, well known fact that".

Then he was told by one of my friends that the capital of outer Mongolia is, 'my arse'.

His response. "Think you willfud it is pronounced m-eye-as.

Try it, it's quite good fun.

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We've got one of those in our family, but he gets obnoxious and tries to be intimidating when pulled up on his "facts". His wife is the only one who can take the wind out of his sails. We've got a big family and everyone else tries to be lovely and respectful to each other except him. I can't stand him.

Bleachedjeans · 15/12/2025 04:58

twilightcafe · 14/12/2025 15:56

Breathing. In my house.

Love this! 🤣🤣🤣

Bleachedjeans · 15/12/2025 05:02

RememberHowYouMadeMeCrazy · 14/12/2025 15:18

A relative who insists on commenting on every single persons portion size of everything we eat and telling us that she ‘couldn’t possibly eat that much’. No matter how much we serve her, it’s always ‘too much’.

Last year every time I gave her something to eat, my daughter got in first and said ‘yes we know it’s too much, we know you couldn’t possibly eat our piggy portions, but no one minds if the dog or foxes end up getting extra if you waste it so no need to comment.’ 😂 Loved her for saying it but I was cringing because everyone was smirking. 😬 My son said if she starts this year with dinner, then he’s literally serving her a tiny teaspoon of Xmas pudding.

Yea, I’d be tempted to serve her a minute portion: one sprout, half a roast potato, piece of turkey the size of a 10p and a teaspoon of gravy.

ticklyfeet · 15/12/2025 05:06

asco · 14/12/2025 21:07

I can't believe the amount of people who are allowed to turn up at others houses, be on the receiving end of their hospitality and expense and 'give' absolutely nothing, be it food, drinks and/or pitching in.
We operate the same as Tabitha and with up to 25 people here on the day, it wouldn't be happening otherwise.
The only CF we ever had was a cousin of DH's home for xmas a couple of years ago who made the mistake of announcing
"I'll have a glass of red" as I walked past him, when I looked at him and asked was he talking to me, he actually slightly sneered and announced
"Eh yeah????" to which I replied Well don't ever speak to me like that in my house, learn some fucking manners - wouldn't mind but he had arrived with one arm as the long as the other.
I sent DH into him with a glass of the already opened bottle of red (3 days ago) that I use for cooking, his face said it all as he tasted it.

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One of my brothers is exactly like this, constantly testing my boundaries even when a guest in my home.
There are more of these types of cheeky f…ers around than you think!

beadystar · 15/12/2025 05:07

‘Penis portions’ upthread made me laugh. My grandmother did this. Of a pass-remarkable generation when it was acceptable to announce ‘you’ve put on weight.’ Her husband, my dad, uncles and boy cousins got loaded platefuls and women got scanty ones and a comment if we ate more than a taste of pudding. We as girls had to help clear and clean up while the males just sat there.
These days- my sister and BIL who are so disapproving about alcohol that it is all hidden until they are gone. Sit around in our parents’ house expecting me to wait on them because they have kids. One kid on a noisy phone game behind couch, another knocking down the Christmas tree. Ignored. BIL puts his fingers into the cocktail sausages, copied by the small snotty child. The children are wound up and have eaten sugar all day so don’t behave at table. One of them will announce he needs to do a poo. Locks himself in bathroom, drama. My mother will announce how little she weighs. She couldn’t possibly eat a whole piece of turkey as a few cocktail sausages are enough for anyone. BIL is a greedy man and as a penis-guest, gets served first. Hoovers up the lion’s share of roast potatoes. Asks for a glass of coke when everyone has started, which we don’t have. DM has inexplicably given valuable crystal water glasses to young children and is fretting about breakage. Both children make a mess. BIL and DSIS do nothing as I’m apparently the maid. My dad and I wash up, dry and put away the special Christmas china. He pours us both a sneaky gin and tonic. DSIS wanders in looking for someone to make her a cup of tea, rolls her eyes and calls us alcoholics. Families..

Bleachedjeans · 15/12/2025 05:10

sprigatito · 14/12/2025 15:23

DS2 who will eat literally all of the pigs in blankets if I don’t watch him! He’s 21 😡 and I make 48 of the fuckers for 6 of us, so we shouldn’t have to fight for a couple each!

I’m very lucky these days to only have people I like for Christmas dinner - any irritations are minor - but I have a few corking examples from my many years of hosting my awful mother and stepfather and their lot for Christmas. Highlights include:

my mother turning up with two little dogs without warning us (we had cats and toddlers), insisting on locking them in our shed over Christmas dinner, then going completely nuts and terrifying my children because the dogs got out and ran away

the lot of them having a row in the car on the way to ours, so when they arrived he wouldn’t speak to anyone, my brother was in tears and my mother immediately locked herself in our bedroom and refused to attend Christmas dinner

my stepfather getting blind drunk and passing out on our bathroom floor in a pool of vomit in the middle of the afternoon

a memorable game of charades in which my stepfather graphically mimed hanging himself, and my brother’s new girlfriend, (who was with us for the first time, and I’d done her a stocking and tried really hard to make her welcome) ran upstairs in floods of tears. It turned out her father had hanged himself the previous year, and my stepfather knew this.

It’s such a relief not to have Christmases like that any more.

OMG that’s horrendous. The poor girl. This year, after 55 years of making Xmas dinners I am doing dinner for just me and DH. I am so looking forward to it. Trays on knees while watching crap on tv - heaven

Bleachedjeans · 15/12/2025 05:12

SarahAndQuack · 14/12/2025 19:41

Yeah, but in private, right? You wouldn't do it at someone else's Christmas dinner table.

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Yes, that’s fucking disgusting. How old is she? 15 months?

RainbowZebraWarrior · 15/12/2025 05:14

Longsight2019 · 14/12/2025 22:34

Uncle again - scrapes his cutlery like he’s taking the piss. But he isn’t. My kids all smirk and watch him, but as he’s oblivious to those around him, he doesn’t notice.

This is the thing that links almost all of the stories isn't it? Spectacular lack of awareness in almost all of the examples given here. Along with a hefty dose of entitlement and manipulation / self importance in some cases.

I don't host any more and haven't for about seven years as I absolutely cannot be fucked with people's foibles, bad habits and greed. I also can't be arsed to entertain people / listen to them repeat the same stories every year and pretend to enjoy it. It's bloody marvellous just me and my lovely DD and absolutely zero stress.

Bleachedjeans · 15/12/2025 05:16

MrsWhites · 14/12/2025 20:18

Wow, some of these make my gravy scoffing sister seem like a breeze.

To be fair, she does also roll her eyes at my autistic son not eating much of the Christmas dinner, he doesn’t like roast potatoes and he doesn’t eat much veg - she thinks it is better to shout at her toddler for not eating his sprouts than letting him eat turkey, pigs in blankets, potato waffles (the only potato item he will eat) and cauliflower cheese.

We have in the past made her her own jug of gravy but she said we were being rude pointing out how much she liked it and declared that the main gravy boat was a better consistency anyway.

But she’s not rude when she guzzles all the gravy. Seems like a hopeless case. I’d carry on giving her her own jug. I think I would have had a major row with her by now. But you’re probably a nicer person than me because I’m a narky old cow

ticklyfeet · 15/12/2025 05:36

Pushmepullu · 14/12/2025 22:51

My brother will wait until I sit down to eat and ask for a coffee.

”Make yourself feel at home bruv…you know where the kitchen is.”
Said with a big smile! I bet he won’t move off his arse.

Mothership4two · 15/12/2025 05:46

Family members who, after the online Secret Santa names have been up for over a month, decided to add their wishlist 10 days before Christmas!

RainbowZebraWarrior · 15/12/2025 05:49

ticklyfeet · 15/12/2025 05:36

”Make yourself feel at home bruv…you know where the kitchen is.”
Said with a big smile! I bet he won’t move off his arse.

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Yep. It's very telling actually that he either doesn't think / give a shit that she's about to finally sit down and eat, or he does it deliberately. It's not a nice trait, but fairly common and almost always enabled cos 'eeh, what's he like'

ticklyfeet · 15/12/2025 05:58

kennycat · 14/12/2025 20:47

my BIL. idle sod. doesn’t even walk to the fridge to
for himself a drink let alone get one for anyone else. and almost always puts his bubbly on the floor and knocks it over. he’s the reason i save the good stuff for me, my mum and MIL and open a cheap nasty bottle for him (and my husband) as the wont appreciate the finer tasting ones anyway!
and BIL never brings anything as a ‘thanks for having us’ gesture or even booze he plans to
drunk himself. how is he even an adult?!

What is it with these men who have a massive sense of entitlement? I honestly think they a product of their upbringing, with mothers who put them before daughters and they it carried in into their adult lives.
I have 2 of these in my own family. They both know my boundaries but still try to push them.

Run30 · 15/12/2025 06:08

BillyWilliamTheThird · 14/12/2025 16:05

DH going for a horrendous poo in the downstairs loo which adjoins the kitchen where we’re all hanging out, drinking and cooking. He’s not a guest though, so does that count?

Actually, my DH is aggravating too. I’ll have spent hours getting the Christmas lunch to come together and given people a five minute warning.. Finally, as I have put the food out he decides to have a wee, go to find some back up wine, fiddle about setting a playlist to play etc etc etc. Somehow he is ALWAYS the last person to sit down and I want to throttle him.

Maggiebell · 15/12/2025 06:19

CrustyOldFrump · 14/12/2025 17:06

BIL putting on GB news. I’ve blocked it now so shouldn’t happen again.

Why cant he watch GB news. Quite a lot of people watch it. You should stop policing what people watch. You sound like you wanted a pat on the back.

Original poster

MrsWhites · 15/12/2025 06:21

Bleachedjeans · 15/12/2025 05:16

But she’s not rude when she guzzles all the gravy. Seems like a hopeless case. I’d carry on giving her her own jug. I think I would have had a major row with her by now. But you’re probably a nicer person than me because I’m a narky old cow

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We’ve kind of just let it go now, we have a large family, I have 5 siblings and elderly grandparents attending every year so for the sake of harmony we just put extra out and keep some on the hob in the kitchen as a backup!

OP posts:

ticklyfeet · 15/12/2025 06:23

Longsight2019 · 14/12/2025 22:10

Two useless uncles who make no conversation, eat all the snacks before anyone else gets a chance, fall asleep after dinner and never help turn the kitchen around

If we are lucky one of them will bring some cheapo buck’s fizz. One year he brought a bladder of cheap pre mixed cocktail from ASDA and went on and on about how nice it was. It was a WooWoo and was bloody awful.

In all the years we’ve served them (40plus) between my mum and I not once have they offered to contribute towards the cost of laying on a dinner for 8 people.

I know they are family but your tolerance levels is far greater than mine.

Mothership4two · 15/12/2025 06:45

Maggiebell · 15/12/2025 06:19

Why cant he watch GB news. Quite a lot of people watch it. You should stop policing what people watch. You sound like you wanted a pat on the back.

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I'd be peed off if any Christmas guest switched on or over to a channel they preferred but especially GB News as it's divisive, not festive and winds people up (including those viewers that want to watch it).

Craftysue · 15/12/2025 06:55

I'll always remember the year my husband's aunt asked for no mash potatoes as they made her sick. Mum in law had already dished up so told her to just leave them on the side of her plate. She ate the lot and was sick all over her dinner. Everyone else's dinner went in the bin. I thought my Father in law was going to kill her 🤢

ForMyNextTrickIWillMakeThisVodkaDisappear · 15/12/2025 07:05

ExMIL would always love to exclaim “oh you have such a lot of food there! I could never eat such a lot of food! I couldn’t even eat half of what you eat!” Etc . Only did this to women never men. On and on. So boring of her. She did this most dinner times but always ramped it up on special occasions. My daughter said she still does it now.

Hosted for my sister and her then husband and kids once. They brought nothing. Oh except Pepsi to go in exBIL Jack Daniel’s because “you’ve only got Coke and Pepsi is better, everyone knows that”. Right ok. The year before they had hosted and I gave them cash, bottle of wine and bought a load of snacks with us, all things I knew they liked. Especially the cash. Never made them more than a cuppa ever since.

Lovelyindevon · 15/12/2025 07:05

My late Dad.

Everyone sat down, except him. Food served out.

Where is he - searching for matches to light candles. You only had one, small, job.

Longsight2019 · 15/12/2025 07:06

Craftysue · 15/12/2025 06:55

I'll always remember the year my husband's aunt asked for no mash potatoes as they made her sick. Mum in law had already dished up so told her to just leave them on the side of her plate. She ate the lot and was sick all over her dinner. Everyone else's dinner went in the bin. I thought my Father in law was going to kill her 🤢

Close the thread. We have a winner.

StarrySun · 15/12/2025 07:09

Well yes, if you’re being medically literal, ‘chronic’ is the right term.

That’s not the case here though, we all get ‘terminal’ as meaning so bad it could be the end of them - and everyone around.

Don’t be that pedantic guest!

StarrySun · 15/12/2025 07:13

Bleachedjeans · 15/12/2025 04:46

If it’s terminal it will stop. Unless you meant ‘chronic’

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Oops, above comment directed at this.