Tell me a random embarrassing thing that happened to you when you were a kid

[ThanksAntsThants]

When I was about 12 I was at the shops with my mother. I’d got my arse in my hand for some reason, which TBF wasn’t exactly unusual. I refused to go round the co-op And waited at the front of the shop instead. The only place to sit was on this battered old elephant kids ride, you know, the ones where you put 10p in and they rock backwards and forwards a bit and play a tune.

So there I was, almost a grown up teenager, all surly and arsey with a right gob on, too cool to go round the co-op with my mother, sitting on this beat up old elephant ride for babies… and an old man walked up, said, ‘oh, do you want a go?’ Stuck 10p in and off I went, rocking backwards and forwards on this toddler ride. I jumped off and ran all the way home, I may have even cried, and refused to leave my room for the rest of the day.
My mother was worried sick and went mad at me for running off, and I was so embarrassed I refused to tell her why.

We used to called dessert in my home seconds and I used to think I was dead cool asking for secs ( sounds like sex) I always got told off but could never understand why till I was a lot older and had a random thought of doing it and just cringed!! And felt sorry for my poor dad !!

I have two, one me, one my sister.

Mine is that we used to go to church with my military father and it was all a bit posh and we had to sit at the front in our smocked dresses. It was quite a long drive and once I needed a poo. I let a little fart out and somehow a nugget of poo followed. There was no loo. When we arrived I had to quickly hoick the poo out the side of my pants as I got out the car. I was mortified.

The second is my sister - we used to love grease. She was about 8 maybe. She used to walk around saying to anyone - "imagine, dying a virgin!!;"

I was a big fainter as a kid. For some reason it always seemed to occur when I had a massive captive audience - in whole school assemblies, that kind of thing. On one particularly occasion (must have been about 7) I was out cold and was scooped up by a female teacher and carried to sick bay. Apparently my school skirt had rode up in the process and the entire school saw my 'day of the week' knickers (and noted I was wearing Friday's knickers on a Tuesday. Oh the shame!! )

@ironingboredrefusal
They are meant to be funny . Do you need it explained how humour works?

It is generally not socially acceptable to fart loudly in public / sit on a toddlers toy if you are a teenager etc. There is a dramatic tension between what you expect to happen and what actually happens in a story like these. Suddenly we are shown something we didn't expect. For the person listening to the story it's funny because it's like peeling away a layer of society and revealing our social norms which are so engrained. It's cathartic and that releases a laugh.

For the person in the story , they did something they didn't intend to or had unintended consequences, then realised, and so they might suddenly feel ashamed, confused or mortified. But the good thing is they can laugh it off later.

Or not as the case may be with some of these!

I think that's a very acceptable expletive 😂 It could catch on!
But yeah kids can be so ridiculous about stuff like that.

I was in my 20s and my friend's girlfriend aske if I could help her load some freebie furniture (he was at work). I said yes and she told me she'd be there soon.

I was waiting by the gate and I saw her car turn in to the street and decided to hide behind the bush. As she parked, I leapt onto her bonnet and splayed myself across the windscreen, pulling a stupid face and growling....

Only to see some middle aged woman I'd never seen before. I ran off round the corner.

Age about 14/5. New to high school. Desperately keen to look cool. Got invited out with the cool kids to 'hang about on the beach' one Sunday afternoon. I was so excited.

We meet another group to hang out with and one of them was a guy (let's call him Dave) I knew from my junior school but hadn't seen since I was about 6. We were actually really good friends back when we were little but had lost touch when he moved schools.

There were some introductions of me to the other group and Dave went 'oh I know this one!' And gave me a lovely grin. I was actually so delighted to see him but I thought it uncool to show such a basic emotion and that I could instead express that through comedy and the cool gang would think I was indeed sufficiently cool.

So I thought it would be hilarious to pretend not to know him but using a funny yet fond name so everyone would know I did know him and laugh heartily at my coolness. What japes.

What was going through my head was something like 'you big lummox!' 'You big love' or something.

What came out of my mouth was 'I DONT KNOW YOU YOU... FAT BASTARD'.

Everyone stared at me and his face fell because the thing was he was indeed now extremely fat

I had to backtrack and dig myself into an ever deeper hole over the next 30 seconds while the cool gang realised the new girl appeared to be a vile and cruel bully.

As it turned out we rekindled our best friendship and we were inseparable for a long time. He even followed me to the other end of the country when I went to university and he got a job locally.

Unfortunately he declared his undying love for me about 5 years later and placed me in a slightly unsettling position so we became a bit more distant then but let's not go into that.

The cool gang turned out to be massive asreholes.

That poor woman! 😵

I know! God knows what she thought - and I've never been so embarrassed in my life!

Sorry but that brought tears to my eyes hahahahahaha

Not me but a friend,a few years ago. We were on the bus and she kept saying that she had something stuck in the leg of her jeans. When we got off the bus she stopped to investigate said object,which by now had worked it's way down to her ankle. She tugged it out to discover that it was a pair of her husband's stripey pants,which had got caught in the leg of her jeans in the washing machine.. I pissed myself laughing but she was highly embarrassed.

OMG!

Dame Edna!

The wetsuit!

I am crying!

Me and my mates went one step further and pretended to a new boy in our area that we were French. He invited us to his house and told his mum we were French. She spoke to us in French. We failed miserably at styling it out.

The mum might have been faking too 😁

🤣🤣 haw hee haw! Mais wee Rodney!

My dad was briefly a supply teacher at my primary school, taking my class. I needed to ask him a question in class and realised I had no idea how to address him (small village - everyone knew he was my dad), so I put my hand up and said, "Mr D(surname) ... Daddy", and asked the question. In hindsight it should have been thought about by him and the school beforehand as to how I should go about it. I was particularly embarrassed by automatically using the term 'Daddy' as I was around nine and was sure all my classmates probably used 'Dad'.

I was a fainter and had a habit of fainting in very public places - school assemblies, in the middle of the High Street on a Saturday afternoon, the shop-floor when I was a Saturday girl in a shoe shop, that kind of thing. (I have never ever fainted in the privacy of my own home....)

My son is now keeping up the family tradition. 😵‍💫

Did that hurt when the ink cartridge or bulb exploded in your face?

Family holiday to Disney land when I was around 7. Went to a theme park which had a little train take you from the car park to the park entrance. Hopped off the train and dordled along behind the rest of my family, they passed through the turnstile at the park entrance like normal people, i stuck my head and arms through the turnstile and hung off it to spin around then came to a jolting stop. I'd somehow gotten fully stuck in this turnstile 😅 massive que of more people getting off the train wanting to enter the park but only one turnstile now free and my arse pointing to everyone blocking the other. My family had no idea as they assumed I'd followed them through and was still behind them and it felt like forever for then to realise I wasn't and come looking for me!!!! It ended with the fire brigade having to cut me out of the turnstile with a huge crowd of park visitors gathering to watch 😳

My cousin teaches at the school her nephew attended, she had him in her class for a year. The poor kid called her Miss X at school and Auntie X out of school but sometimes, out of school would talk about Miss X.

When I was about 11 I completely randomly announced very loudly in a very authentic French accent "Le Marquis De Sade!" with a flourish to my parents. Can't remember why but can remember the embarrassment. eurgh.
I also once insisted on loudly announcing the name of a bondage shop as we drove path past - why? I knew what it was - to the hilarity of my father and brother, at about the same age.

There's a theme there.

These are too funny esp ‘masturbation’

Wgen I was about 13/14 at school I wanted to be cool but really wasn’t & I had the idea of buying some fake tan and putting in on my arms - only the arms - this was the 80s and it was basically orange but everyone still said ‘ooh, you look so brown’. I’m sure they knew that it wasn’t real!!!

I also remember being in year 1 so age 5 & farting in the line for the teacher to look at our work. She must’ve got a whiff and said ‘someone needs the toilet…’ I never did a poo at school so I def didn’t go after that. A lifetime of pretending it wasn’t me ensued 😆

Haha brilliant OP! I had similar at about 12. My brother at the time was about 5 and obsessed with power rangers. I went into the toy shop in town with my pocket money to buy him a mask for his birthday. I asked the lady if she had power ranger masks and she was like yes, do you want the pink or yellow one? Thinking it was for me. 12 year old me was very embarrassed and indignant that she assumed I was into power rangers 🤣

Another was at a roller disco about same age with my crush. Was just back from school camp and threw on some pre worn jeans. When I took my skates off at the disco I was standing talking to him and the dirty pants id clearly taken off with the jeans made an appearance down my leg, gusset side up. I tried to blame a girl at camp who borrowed my jeans at camp as I nudged them into a corner with my foot 🙈

When I was about 10 and in Year 6 we were doing a times tables test. I needed the toilet and the teacher said nobody was allowed to talk or move so I wet myself in class!

I always as a kid was a voracious reader, I read anything and everything even if it was inappropriate for me, I LOVED reading Chat, Take a Break etc I would read them everywhere from the age of about six, a lot of it went over my head but I would read them cover to cover, I also think I wanted people to think I was grown up 🤔.
Well one day when I was eight and reading Chat in the waiting room of a hospital I came across the health section and saw a word I didn’t know - this was unusual for me as I was massively full of myself very grown up and knew Exactly Everything. Unnerved and wanting to know what this unusual word was, I said loudly to my mother, “MUM, WHAT IS A CLITORIS” at the exact moment the room went silent….