Tell me a random embarrassing thing that happened to you when you were a kid

[ThanksAntsThants]

When I was about 12 I was at the shops with my mother. I’d got my arse in my hand for some reason, which TBF wasn’t exactly unusual. I refused to go round the co-op And waited at the front of the shop instead. The only place to sit was on this battered old elephant kids ride, you know, the ones where you put 10p in and they rock backwards and forwards a bit and play a tune.

So there I was, almost a grown up teenager, all surly and arsey with a right gob on, too cool to go round the co-op with my mother, sitting on this beat up old elephant ride for babies… and an old man walked up, said, ‘oh, do you want a go?’ Stuck 10p in and off I went, rocking backwards and forwards on this toddler ride. I jumped off and ran all the way home, I may have even cried, and refused to leave my room for the rest of the day.
My mother was worried sick and went mad at me for running off, and I was so embarrassed I refused to tell her why.

Getting gassed on stage during a public speaking contest . We v unrehearsed giving a talk on pollution..this was early Seventies..main speaker demonstrated the gas that came from hot brake pads..cue two liquids added to each other followed by a cloud of gas pouring from the beaker, across our table and onto the elderly worthies in the front row . I collapsed and others were gasping while other schools hooted with glee ..happy days 😬

When I was 10 years old I was walking our dog with my DM in the park and I fell into a loads of stinging nettles. My DM say to put a dock leaf on my leg and rub it up and down to stop the sting. I thought she said dog lead so spent 5 minutes rubbing the dog lead up and down my leg. DM never notice due to my DB. When I said it isn't working she realised and spent 10 minutes laughing at my mix-up. We still laugh about it 40 years on.

Aged about 10 or so.

In school we had an English grammar book which had a section of well-known phrases which you arranged into a coherent sentence.

I was always good at these so, when asked by the teacher, I proudly read out the football one.

To gales of laughter because, not having any interest in football, I had created a masterpiece of nonsense and gibberish.

It was a long time ago but it was the equivalent of saying that the goalie had taken a penalty kick at his own goal and managed to save it as well after having run the length of the pitch from the opposite end while keeping control of the ball.

He was some player all the same!

I used to go on the swings at the park and sing Frere Jacques, desperate that someone would overhear me and think I was French and glamorous. Luckily, no-one ever did because I hadn’t thought through what I’d actually do if someone tried to strike up an actual conversation 😬 🇫🇷

Remembered another one. I told my mum I’d seen two people ‘shagging’ when I was about 6. She looked a bit horrified but asked me what I thought it meant so I said ‘kissing’. She just informed me that it definitely didn’t mean that 😆

I must have been about ten when I heard the word and my very clever friend told me it meant "interfering with dead bodies".

Imagine my pride when my parents described a film at a dinner party whereby a warlord had put their enemies heads on spikes and I shouted "that's some good necrophilia"

I was told sternly in the kitchen what it meant and wished my own head on a spike. The shame still burns.

These are amazing

😂

I remember my brother loudly announcing ' what's masturbating??' whilst reading the coveted naughty Daily Mirror that my grandparents used to bring over at Sunday dinner.

😅

Gasping with laughter here 😂

It's half 2 in the morning and this just made me cackle loudly 🤣🤣🤣

My older sister told me aged 10 that girls stuff their bras with tissue to give themselves bigger boobs. I was completely flat-chested and was wearing a training bra (after forcing my mum to buy me one as some girls at school had started wearing them).

So I followed my sister's instructions and stuffed my little bra with the most amount of tissue I could. Picture Madonna's coned boobs except mine were golf ball sized lumps poking through beneath my top. I walked around the house like this which wouldn't have been too embarrassing except my Dad's friend rang our doorbell - cue 10 year old me enthusiastically answering the door with these ridiculous lumps on my chest. The poor guy must have been mortified and not known where to look🙈

Looking back now my sister gave me very questionable advice throughout my childhood.

it's half 2 in the morning for me too and I've just had a very disgruntled dh leave the bedroom because of my sniggering.

First boyfriend as a teenager, went to his house for dinner and met his parents and dog, Frank. I've always loved dogs so was playing with Frank on the floor, talking to him by name, telling him he was cute etc. whilst my boyfriends parents looked awkward and my boyfriend was laughing his head off.

Turned out I'd gotten a bit confused at the door meeting everyone and Frank was the Dad, not the dog.

At around 9/10 years old me and my dad went to the local park. He went off to watch a game of football nearby while I went on the swings.

The swings were one of those sets of two and it was empty when I got there. As I was swinging two older girls probably 14 or so came up and one got on the remaining swing.

I was in awe of them and wanted to show them how cool I was so I let go of the chains and held the seat instead in an insouciant manner. The seat was attached to the chains by a single middle anchor point so of course I just flipped upside down mid swing

This being the 1970s there was a massive muddy puddle under the swing and as I swung back and forth upside down my head, hair and cardie dragged through the mud. All the while the two girls were watching me open mouthed.

I was shitting myself and had no way of slowing down quickly so I clung on for the whole bloody trajectory while maintaining a look of nonchalance lest these girls think I was uncool.

As I slowly ground to a halt, upside down and now with my whole head in the muddy puddle one of the girls said 'your hairs all muddy'. 'Yeah I know I do this all the time' i said. Totally styling it out.

Both looked at me disgusted and then walked off.

I couldn't work out how to get off without some kind of injury so I hung there for about 15 more minutes until my dad rescued me.

When I was around fourteen there was a boy in my year at school who I fancied like mad.
I used to make a special effort to get him to notice me, but to be super cool at the same time.
One day I was coming down the stairs with my friends and he was at the bottom about to come up.
The next thing, I'd missed my footing and slid down the stairs with my bum bouncing off every step with the accompanying sound of me shouting OW, OW, OW as it hit each one.
He actually stood to one side while looking at me agog as I slid past him.
My friend were in hysterics, particularly as my skirt was somewhere round my waist when I finally came to a stop to display a rather fetching pair of Bridgett Jones style knickers.
The shame!

I was swinging on my chair in my GCSE maths exam, deadly silent sports hall with the entire year working away, when the chair shot out behind me and the desk collapsed accompanied by a huge bang and I was sitting on the floor.

Even the invigilator was trying not to laugh as she came to help me get back up.

@ThanksAntsThants
Evertime I, check back on this thread and someone else has reposted you, I laugh until the tears roll 😂😂 Every time!

I was crossing a major road at an always busy intersection. It was a very windy day and I was wearing a wrap skirt. Sudden strong gust of wind and I was running across the road chasing my skirt in my undies with multiple cars stopped at the lights watching me. Very embarrassing for 13 year old me

Can't remember how old I was but it was in the 70s, I decided to make my action man into a diver by using my mums black mascara..... I was black, the water was black, the bath was black... My mum was red with rage.

I know this is a zombie thread but

They were meant to be big grins, not bottles, below!

The cartwheeling dad, that's brilliant, I can feel the teenage embarrassment. 😁

This doesn't need to be a zombie thread, I pmsl every time I read it..more contributions please! I gave mine and it was a doozy

@Northernsouloldies
You were extra creative 😂🤣🤣

On holiday in Spain with my extended family. We were staying in an apartment and one day, a load of bulls raced past in the street. It was quite the spectacle and they were jumping about all over the place

I ran back into the living room area to where my parents, Aunty, grandparents etc were sat and I'm all excited, and MEANT to say 'there's a load of bulls outside, all bucking and fighting...'

I actually announced, aged 11 'there's a load of bulls outside all fucking and biting'

And the time, at again about 11, we were staying with my grandparents and I was watching the news with the family

Report came on about a rapist being hunted, complete with e-fit image.

'That looks exactly like you Dad! AND you've got a beige car!!' I announced - much to my dads fury and my grandparents astonishment

(PS no, he was not the offender, of course!!)