AIBU to be heartbroken the cleaner ruined my platypus?

[RightYesButNo]

I have a few painful autoimmune conditions, so we have a cleaner once a week. Currently, I’m in a very bad flare, sleeping through the pain, etc. I asked if she could change the bed and I’d just stay in the living room until she was done. I fell asleep on the sofa in just a few minutes and then I awakened when she was kindly telling me I could get back in bed. Already embarrassing.

I sleep with a stuffed platypus every night. My condition causes really painful trouble breathing so hugging him makes it a bit better. He’s just the right size, etc. He’s been on countless hospital visits, hospitalizations, even a few surgeries with me.

I didn’t notice until the cleaner left and I found him drying on top of the hanging sheets that were also drying. I’m ashamed but I cried; his fur is a bit ruined, his insides are all balled and smell wrong; I think it may be time for him to go to the “beloved stuffed friends retirement shelf” with DH’s one-eyed childhood teddy.

But I can’t believe how upset I am. I feel just so sad. I know this is definitely some HUGE hospital PTSD, and fear of facing more pain without a comfort object. Erm… AIBU to ask if anyone has a stuffed friend who helps your fears at the age of mumble mumble over 30? And if you might cry (a lot) if they were semi-destroyed?

@AtomHeartMotherOfGod

No, but then I don't have an autoimmune problem

Can you go to IKEA or something and see if they have a suitable alternative? You could try flumphing it up in the tumble dryer...

OP I can recommend a IKEA BLÅHAJ (shark) as a wonderfully cuddly bed mate.

MNHQ in an act of great kindness sent some IKEA BLÅHAJ to the Thigh Women a couple of years ago. Perhaps they could be similarly generous to you?

Do you have a tumble dryer? If not hang him out in the sun, he needs to be really dry
A tumble will help flump him up again but honestly get him properly dry - the insides will unball and you can brush or re-snuggle his fur

He's definitely saveable
And no, you're not alone

That platypus looks perfectly well to me

I love my toy cat (Mr Cat) so much that on a plane he has to sit on my knee for 10 hours (to relatives in South africa) in case we have to evacuate the plane and I don't have time to get him out of the overhead locker. Don't give up on Mr Platypus yet!

Your cleaner, while clumsy, sounds like a really lovely kind person. And your husband….well. Top bloke. 💜

On my bedside table sits a teddy Father Christmas I got when I lived in a children's home and he will be 42 years old in December. He sits next to a soft toy dog that is a little older. I would be devastated if either went missing and I wouldn't ever allow my children to play with them in case they got spoilt. Many of us are attached to soft toys. A few years ago dh bought me a brown teddy that is bigger than me. He knew I'd got very little as a child and I'd seen a lovely teddy but when he went back to get him secretly he'd gone. When I opened this bear on Christmas morning I went running on to the landing to show the kids literally laughing snd crying at the same time. He slept with me when dh was in hospital so I wouldn't feel alone. We all need comfort. I hope he can be repaired.

YANBU at all, platypus looks lovely and very loved! I’m sure you and DH will be able to restore him and a few nights of being slept with will make him smell and feel more like himself.

I have a beloved cuddly toy who I got when I was about 17 (20 years ago!) who still sleeps in my bed, when I’m anxious I cuddle him against my front and he’s very comforting.

I totally get this, OP. I sometimes wonder if there is something wrong with me because my stuffed animals might as well be real, I'm that attached to them. Especially the manky old bear that I cuddle at night. I'd be devastated if something happened to it.

Your DH sounds lovely. What a sweet, kind thing to do.

You are DNBU, and I would be absolutely heartbroken if anything happened to any of my old toys - they have seen me through some hard times. (I also have a platypus who went into hospital with me.)

So glad your old friend is pulling through - I will genuinely be thinking of you both today!

Oh my God, this is one of my biggest fears I have a stuffed whale that I sleep with. I have an anxiety disorder, and sometime I really need that sensory feedback of safety. DP understands the importance, and is very careful to check she doesn't get bundled up with the sheets when we change the bed.

OP, I am so glad your platypus is on the way to recovery. I have found that big paddle tangle tamer brush works well to re-fluff their fur. Your DH sounds bloody lovely. I hope you managed to sleep well.

You are definitely not being unreasonable. Watch 'The Repair Shop' and see how many elderly soft toys are loved like your platypus (and my rabbit). Read 'The Velveteen Rabbit' too.

I think you need to be there for your friend this time.
Love him back to his old self

Glad to hear the prognosis for platypus is good ☺️
www.lovedbefore.london/
Just wanted to share that, they do adoptions for 'pre-loved' Ted's and I find them adorable (their Facebook posts are also quite sweet and always bring a smile)

Im a good bit older than you and still like my soft toy! I dont think hes gone yet.A quick google online ,shows that there are several repair shops locally (SC )to me and am sure you will find the same in your area too .Leith Toy Hospital has a list of pricing for our cuddly friends. Dont worry about him smelling wrong .He will be back to normal after a few weeks! You tube has a couple of videos about reshaping a soft toy chum as well .I am sorry you have been so unwell .

Oh dear! Maybe he was tangled in the sheets and cleaner didn’t see him until he came out the machine?

Can you get another from the same brand?

Or he may be ok once he’s dry. I’ve washed many a soft toy that said do not machine wash and they were fine once dry, fur brushed and cuddled for a few nights.

I think you might grow to love him again in his new shape. My bunny had some rips through old age, and he wasn’t the same after I sewed him back up but that’s who he is now.

Just seen the update re DH restoring him! He sounds lovely .Hopefully he will be back to normal soon .Just for future reference I have a spray "The Laundress" (avaliable on Amazon) about £15.00) that restores and provides anti bacterial protection as well .I use it for my cashmere cardis which always shrink whenever washed even on cold . Usually spray and hang out or sit him on a deckchair .

I'm not sure beloved cuddlies would appreciate antimicrobial spray, I reckon they develop their own unique microbiome giving rise to their personal scent.

OP!

1. Your platypus is SO cute! I'm glad to hear he's on the mend!

2. How sweet is your DH to be caring for Platypus and trying to fix things.

I'm sure if not tangled up in sheets, cleaner thought she was doing the right thing, though I think it was an accident. A quick friendly chat should be more than enough to say this particular Platypus prefers dry land

Hope your flare settles down soon enough.

I still have a beloved toy from given to me by my aunt when I was born... mumble mumble over 40 years ago. I'd be very sad if anything happened much as she's been stitched up over the years including having her head sewn back on after I decapitated her in a huge rage when I was about 4 and then sat up a tree sobbing about it all afternoon I can't even remember what I was angry about but poor Bunny

Hope platypus can be fixed. I suspect it got mixed up in the sheets, very easily done.

Also hope you feel better soon, it sounds miserable.

Hospitals actually give kids stuffed animals sometimes to help when they are having trouble with breathing or need to work on their lungs. Same thing for when they have adults hug a pillow.

Our local A&E gives free cuddly teddies to kids, especially if they have an injury and are in that shocked silent state. I’ll never forget DD being offered a bear whilst in A&E for a nasty cut; she hadn’t spoken since the accident and was cuddled up to me silently, no amount of snuggles or chat could get her to relax. But the bear was like magic! As soon as she hugged him she started smiling and talking!

Now every time she’s ill or injured she has to have her ‘hospital bear’ to cuddle and it works every time to soothe her anxiety.

I knit bespoke bears and they're not just for children. The money I raise goes to a charity I support.

I have a sort of beanbag hippo that is really nice to cuddle in bed. It was quite a special prez years ago and I’d be upset if someone ruined it. I’m very much over 30 😀😀

Erm… I have a very big drip feed actually, but wasn’t sure it was my place to share, but DH says he doesn’t mind. See attached photo.

Since one or two have mentioned maybe buying a second platypus for one distant day. I did, once upon a time. But platypus #2 ended up going to Afghanistan with DH (they’re both retired from the forces several years now). So left is regular Platypus and right is Furious P (“he can’t deploy with the squadron and just be called platypus, dear”). And I was hugging them both in bed during flare so they BOTH got washed, hence me being just ridiculously teary. DH was just very pragmatic.

I am DEFINITELY going to have to name change after this thread.

Also, re: Velveteen Rabbit - my first stuffed animal was a “velveteen rabbit” that came with a copy of the book and it had a very outsized impression on how attached I became to stuffed animals, I think (versus blankets, etc). Trying to read that book (the “when you are loved and real, it doesn’t matter if it hurts” part) makes me cry more than any other book, film, anything STILL.

I'm genuinely pleased that platypus seems to be on the mend, I was getting a bit panicky whilst scrolling through the thread!

Anyone else fancying a platypus stuffed toy for Xmas!?