Page 7 | Something unexpected that made you go "wtf??"

Ormally · 26/05/2021 20:33

Slightly wtf:
I have a view out of a large window most of the time that's framed by its frame (able to see the ground from it). Today a fluffy curved white feather, looked like a pigeon feather, came floating quite slowly into view at the top, but within seconds, a little brown bird streaked in from the side of the window square at a rate of knots and caught it in the air in its beak without stopping, then it disappeared 'frame left'. Really wasn't the originator of the feather, but it wasn't missing its opportunity!

Clawdy · 26/05/2021 21:28

@MamaWeasel

When DD was 2 we used to take her for a walk through the local graveyard to see the squirrels which were plentiful. On one occasion she toddled towards a gravestone and appeared to be having a very animated conversation with herself. Nothing unusual in that, given her age. When we really listened to her she was saying, " no cry.....it be ok.....ahhhhhhh no cry......"

We found our squirrel fix elsewhere after that!

MamaWeasel that story is so moving.

lolacola77 · 26/05/2021 21:34

Re the weather/cloudbusting thing; I saw an interview with Tara Palmer Tomkinson where she said her parents had paid an insane amount for planes to blow the clouds away or something for her 21st. They were anxious as royalty were attending and it was all outdoor.

I met het a few years later and asked her about it. It was true. We actually became pals. She was fabulous.

OwlIceCrem · 26/05/2021 21:37

At the pub at uni with one of my female housemates, we were both quite young and impressionable. One of the guys I worked with was a rugby guy and his mates were out. One of them who was quite drunk pulled down his pants in the middle of the pub and right in front of me and my friend and stuck the whole neck of a wine bottle straight up his arse. When he fetched it out, he poured a bit of his pint into the wine bottle and drank from it. I can’t remember the reaction from the rest of the pub but my friend and I (both pretty naive) were equally astounded and horrified!

AintNobodyHereButUsChickens · 26/05/2021 21:46

This pigeon

Something unexpected that made you go "wtf??"

Ifyoudontlaughyouwillcry · 26/05/2021 21:48

@PammieDooveOrangeJoof

I once saw a man using a wire coat hanger to wank at a bus stop. I also saw a person reading a book on the tube about the benefits of drinking your own urine.

You win!

alongtimeagoandfaraway · 26/05/2021 22:19

My first Christmas in London in the very early 80s. I was on the tube going home after a night out with friends and this guy opened his coat and flashed at us. So far so predictable but in honour of the season he had gift wrapped his penis in Christmas paper.

ADialgaAteMyDog · 26/05/2021 22:20

@LilysChips

I used to live in Bath, over 20 years ago. There was an elderly gentleman I used to see around all the time, queued up at the post office, waiting in the chippy, etc. I used to (secretly to myself) call him Shit Wig Man. Not because he was wearing an unrealistic, cheap wig but because his wig looked looked exactly like he had a cow pat balancing on his head. If you imagine a wig that has had brylcreem/hair oil and then the wig is never washed up combed and it just becomes more and more matted, and then owner presumably has bad eyesight so can't see what it looks like, after a couple of decades it just looks like a cowpat. It looked revolting and absolutely bizarre. He was otherwise quite smartly dressed and seemed normal enough. I mentioned this on some random forum about 10 years ago and a stranger replied - OMG! YES! SHIT WIG MAN! Turns they used to see him around too and and had the exact same nickname for him as me.

I have seen this man in Bath and the shit wig made me feel physically sick.

CloudPop · 26/05/2021 22:22

@FuckingFabulous

I want to hear examples from your experiences. Like when someone drops the facade for a second and you see something a bit scary about them, or when someone reasonable comes out with something utterly ludicrous and you've no idea how to react. I want to hear them! Because earlier today, I found out that my neighbours daughter doesn't have identical twins called Ronnie and Jensen, which was my assumption. She has one boy called Jensen, but my neighbour hates the name and will only call him Ronnie. The boy is six. His middle name isn't even Ronnie. His grandma just prefers that name and calls him that.

I had the exact opposite. Lived in a flat with what I thought was one chap upstairs. Would see him around and about, sometimes he'd say hi and sometimes totally blank me. Months later saw the twins walking down the road together - gave me quite a start. Completely identical 50+ year old twins who still lived together, only one of whom interacted with the outside world

Babyroobs · 26/05/2021 22:23

@Velvian

I was having coffee with a friend at her house, she was complaining about turning 40. I told her she had no need to worry that she looked about 10 years younger.

She replied, "No. I thought it would have happened by now." I asked, "what would have happened" - The answer was that we would be living in paradise (like after the day of judgement type paradise)

That was a conversation killer. I had nothing but a goldfish impression

My mum once made me promise that when her and all other Christians are suddenly 'taken up' and us plebs left behind, please can I make sure their dog gets well looked after as she wasn't sure the dog would be able to go with her.

awesmum · 26/05/2021 22:27

I remember getting onto the tube when I was about 11/12 with DM and DSis, it was absolutely packed except in one part of the train. We realised why when getting on there was a woman in her 40's sitting with her lags crossed but widely (her ankle on her knee) wearing a pink fluffy jumper to her waist and absolutely nothing else. She was smiling just like she'd had a nice day out and wasn't causing any issues. We had to go to the next stop where 2 police officers got on and she calmly walked off with them, not a care in the world smiling the whole time.

StealthPolarBear · 26/05/2021 22:40

My grandad, in his eighties and fit and healthy suddenly started having chest pains. He was admitted but all tests showed nothing.finally he mentioned to my uncle that it might be after he'd realised some stacked up wood had fallen in front of the garage door (on the inside) and so had to "shimmy in" through the small garage window to sort it.
My uncle diagnosed him with a pulled muscle in his chest , called him a fool and got him discharged.

Babyroobs · 26/05/2021 22:45

@awesmum

I remember getting onto the tube when I was about 11/12 with DM and DSis, it was absolutely packed except in one part of the train. We realised why when getting on there was a woman in her 40's sitting with her lags crossed but widely (her ankle on her knee) wearing a pink fluffy jumper to her waist and absolutely nothing else. She was smiling just like she'd had a nice day out and wasn't causing any issues. We had to go to the next stop where 2 police officers got on and she calmly walked off with them, not a care in the world smiling the whole time.

Very sad, sounds like mental health issues.

LyndaSnellsSniff · 26/05/2021 22:50

Sat in my usual seat on the bus to work one day. Me and a few others would get on at the bus station and stay on till the final destination. Long journey. Someone was sat in front of me. Seat behind me was empty.

Somebody got on the bus part way into the journey and sat in the empty seat behind me. She reached up and opened the fan light style window next to us. The person in front of me reached up and slammed it shut. Person behind, opened it. One in front closed it. And so it continued for 45 flippin' minutes!! Neither of them said anything!

TheRebelle · 26/05/2021 22:53

One Halloween when I was about 8 or 9 we were trick or treating (only people we knew), we knocked on one door and the woman, a friend of my mum’s, took our buckets, rummaged through them and took a sweet out of each then gave us a new sweet out of her packet, my mum asked her what she was doing and apparently she thought that’s what everyone did. We didn’t knock on her door after that.

gothicsprout · 26/05/2021 22:57

News that my parent’s village was being terrorised by a flock of about 40 5ft tall ostrich-like birds (rheas). The police couldn’t locate an owner so have decided they must be wild - that well known British native species…

I particularly enjoyed the account of one bird who apparently walked into the local town centre and ‘knocked on doors with its beak’.

GoingGently · 26/05/2021 23:00

Love this thread!

Not a personal anecdote but these are reminding me of that woman on the news who was walking down the street and randomly threw the cat in the wheelie bin!

GoingGently · 26/05/2021 23:04

@elp30

I worked in a department of 25 people for a newspaper publisher. We all had our personality quirks but who doesn't?

One day, we were very close to a deadline but we couldn't find a particular advertisement to be included in the paper (obviously, this was the dark ages where you physically created the advertisement, got it proofread before being placed on a page to be photographed and plated). We dropped everything to look for this advertisement for at least 20 minutes. It finally dawned on us that a woman I'll call, "Ann" had gone to lunch and maybe she had the advertisement somewhere in her locked desk drawer. We had ten minutes before the deadline and Ann still had 40 minutes of lunch break so our boss took his master key and opened her desk drawer.

He just wanted to take a quick look but instead he found a very large stack of papers that were dated (this was May so it was a huge stack!) and on them had a running commentary on every single one of us and what we may have done that particular day to annoy her. She had a "numbered list" of people who were that days worst offenders. She called it her "Gun List".

One thing was really weird (as if this wasn't enough) was that one name was missing on those papers and that was "Mary" who sat next to her. However, under the stack of papers was a notebook titled, "Mary" and it was basically all the reasons she hated her and hoped something tragic would happen to her! She had one with the name of her husband too. Yikes! It was very much a WTF moment!

The advertisement was not in her drawer, btw.
Someone who was in the hall said Ann was on her way back and we all scrambled to put her desk contents back together and pretend we hadn't seen that desk of weirdness!
She came back early because the advertisement jacket with the advertisement had fallen in her handbag and she found it when looking for her purse to pay for her lunch and she knew the deadline was looming. Weirdly, we didn't seem too bothered about it and our boss thanked her for bringing it back and told her to take a full hour for lunch, no probs. The man must have been freaked because he was always in her "Top 5".

She was a quiet person who was always very nice to everyone but from that day, we all stayed well clear of her!

Omg this is my favourite!!! Unbelievably creepy!!!

scamander · 26/05/2021 23:08

@SailingBuddy

I had a colleague, who seemed completeing rational. Normal chit chat around the office for years. He was an analyst and highly educated. It was the week after the London marathon and the weather had been rubbish in the lead up to the day but the sun had shone on the day of the marathon. I said how lucky it was and he said "well it's not luck, it's worth too much in tourism for it to have been raining". I must have looked as confused as I felt, so he explained how the government made sure that the weather was good for big events so as not to lose out on the tourism money that the events brought in.

I went back to my desk and told another colleague what he had said...and she agreed with his point of view! She said that the govt also made sure there was good weather for William & Catherine's wedding.
I can't understand how two well educated people could think that!

🤣 this is actually a thing. Check haarp out.

Moonwatcher1234 · 26/05/2021 23:08

14 years old and went back to my form class because I had forgotten something. The firm tutor was still in the classroom. But with his blazer on his head. He offered me one of his sweets but I said no thank you. He was completely normal and boring and I still have no idea what that was about.

StormcloakNord · 26/05/2021 23:10

I was once out drinking with my then boyfriend (now DH) and we were in a Brewdog. I had my cocker spaniel with me and was walking him back to our seats when this really thin, almost crippled man came over and mumbled something about a beautiful dog. He went down to pet DDog for about a second before he then started touching my ankles and rolled the top of my sock down and was just fondling my ankles saying "they're so soft... such a nice dog... very lovely ankles".

I was honestly paralysed with total confusion and spent at least 30 seconds just staring at my dog sat there waiting for more pets and this creepy man on his knees playing with my socks and stroking my ankles.

DH eventually walked over and said "uhh.. you coming over?". The man got up, said thanks, and walked out the bar!!!!

SoMuchForSummerLove · 26/05/2021 23:14

Offensive Language Alert

Our neighbours came to the door to tell us they were putting their house on the market.

But don't worry, the woman said in a kindly voice, we won't sell it to any Pakis.

DH slammed the door in their faces and we never spoke to them again!

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 26/05/2021 23:14

I used to work with someone who was in his 20s. A group of us were talking about something that had been on tv and how unrealistic it was and he said something like how impossible it was that anyone lived so far from a shop that they needed to cycle to get some milk. After a bit of gentle questioning it turned out that his parents had moved to London from a Bangladeshi city (I think Dhaka, but it might have been another one) before he was born. In his entire life he had only ever been to London and Dhaka and he had no concept at all of people living outside of cities.

CookieClub · 26/05/2021 23:16

@ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba

I had a leavers' party with my uni classmates at my house. A friend of mine asked if she could borrow some scissors, so gave her a pair without a thought. she had a new dress on so when she headed to the bathroom I assumed she forgot to cut out the label or something.

she emerged quite a while later with a new, very short haircut she'd just given herself with a pair of nail scissors.
she didn't do a god job at all

Crying at this

Verbena87 · 26/05/2021 23:18

Once met someone who’d been to the same school as me and knew my sister in the Himalayas, 10 days walk from the nearest road. That was quite a surprise.