Something unexpected that made you go "wtf??"

[FuckingFabulous]

I want to hear examples from your experiences. Like when someone drops the facade for a second and you see something a bit scary about them, or when someone reasonable comes out with something utterly ludicrous and you've no idea how to react. I want to hear them! Because earlier today, I found out that my neighbours daughter doesn't have identical twins called Ronnie and Jensen, which was my assumption. She has one boy called Jensen, but my neighbour hates the name and will only call him Ronnie. The boy is six. His middle name isn't even Ronnie. His grandma just prefers that name and calls him that.

@crazycanuck i can't believe it took two fucking days for someone to get that joke.

@Covert19

I once saw a girl sneeze in a shoe shop, and cornflakes* came out of her nose, suspended in two long strings of clear snot, that hung from her nostrils, until she snorted and the whole lot shot back up and in again.

*I can't verify that they were cornflakes, but that's exactly what they looked like to me.

I am seriously going to use this image, now branded into my brain, to help me lose weight. Instant stomach churner.

The day we brought eldest son home from hospital after his birth (7 weeks premature) in the 80's so no mobiles.
That afternoon we got a call from the office of the Royal Marines asking where our son was.
I said you have the wrong number but before I could say anything else the bloke talked over me.
Saying he had gone AWOL again and they were sending the military police to arrest him.
He gave my son's full name first unusual and middle, same date of birth just the wrong year.
I finally was able to get a word in and told him that my son was only 7 weeks old.
The next thing the MP were outside banging on the door.
They were gobsmacked when they saw our son in his cradle.
It seemed that the marine who was AWOL had given our address.
We only live in a very small town and there is no one else and has never been some one with that same full name.

That’s hilarious @Noidea2114!

Years ago I was outside a nightclub when this guy came flying down a staircase straight into the path of an oncoming taxi, hit the taxis front then rolled off, got up and walked off. WTF.

There's a town in my area where an older man will strike up a conversation with any stranger he can, & swiftly get onto his one obsession (I'm not going to say what it is: it's not obscene or unpleasant, just totally random).

He's known to DH & me as Man, & one of us sometimes has to swerve the other out of his path & then explain why once we're out of earshot. I once sat on a bench he was on & made sure I was at the other end & looking the other way. His disappointment & frustration were palpable.

Sometimes it's funny to watch the unaware get drawn in. At least he's not a danger to anyone - unless it's possible to bore someone to death.

We come from a Catholic family and like a lot of Catholics we pick and choose what parts of the religion to follow. So yes to mass on Sundays, holy communion and a church wedding but also YES to a woman's right to choose, supporting gay marriage and using contraception.

One family friend was very, very traditional and devout and so we were always careful what we said around her and particularly so when any of her three sisters were around because all three of them were nuns and we didn't want to offend them. One day, not long after our wedding, at a big gathering at her house someone asked DH and I would we be having a baby soon. I hesitated before answering and one of the nuns spoke up saying 'Jesus! No way! It's much too soon for that sort of carry on. Youngsters are much better organised nowadays'.

It was so incongruous coming from an elderly lady in a nuns habit and headdress but I was so grateful to her for saying it. The friend and her sisters are all dead now and I miss them.

@Noidea2114

The day we brought eldest son home from hospital after his birth (7 weeks premature) in the 80's so no mobiles. That afternoon we got a call from the office of the Royal Marines asking where our son was. I said you have the wrong number but before I could say anything else the bloke talked over me. Saying he had gone AWOL again and they were sending the military police to arrest him. He gave my son's full name first unusual and middle, same date of birth just the wrong year. I finally was able to get a word in and told him that my son was only 7 weeks old. The next thing the MP were outside banging on the door. They were gobsmacked when they saw our son in his cradle. It seemed that the marine who was AWOL had given our address. We only live in a very small town and there is no one else and has never been some one with that same full name.

Many many years ago when i was dating exdh we were in our flat when our small flat was surrounded by police and MP who wanted to arrest exdh for going awol from the army. He has never been in the army, he was handcuffed and they tried to drag him away but the police made them wait till we sorted it out.

Turned out someone with the exact same name as exdh and from the same town HAD gone awol from the army and since exdh didnt quite match the description of the awol person they reluctantly left. They came back about an hour later with the awol persons sergeant, who confirmed exdh was not the same person. It was quite scary but turned out the awol person had burgled his parents house and they heard on the grapevine that a person with the same as exdh's name had moved into a local flat.

About a week later another policeman arrived to arrest exdh, but he when he heard of groans of "oh no not again" he believed us straight away and after ringing the barracks confirmed that DP was not the same person.

Bizarrely after this we told exdh's brother and he said that the shop he worked in had some casual labour and one bloke they employed had the same name as exdh and he thought it was weird, It was the AWOL soldier.

Never had any other problems and never found out what happened to the soldier.

@Noidea2114

The day we brought eldest son home from hospital after his birth (7 weeks premature) in the 80's so no mobiles. That afternoon we got a call from the office of the Royal Marines asking where our son was. I said you have the wrong number but before I could say anything else the bloke talked over me. Saying he had gone AWOL again and they were sending the military police to arrest him. He gave my son's full name first unusual and middle, same date of birth just the wrong year. I finally was able to get a word in and told him that my son was only 7 weeks old. The next thing the MP were outside banging on the door. They were gobsmacked when they saw our son in his cradle. It seemed that the marine who was AWOL had given our address. We only live in a very small town and there is no one else and has never been some one with that same full name.

Bizarre!

Oh, starting this thread was timely! DH just called work on the car Bluetooth to tell them he couldn't come in because we have to self isolate because two of the kids have been sent home with coughs and temperatures. We
literally were transporting them home
from school and it was the earliest opportunity to call. So he did, and the really polite admin lady said "hold please and I'll transfer you over to Cliff. Are your kids ok? Poor lambs!"

Then there was a click sound and she obviously thought she'd put the plinky plunky hold music on and suddenly we heard her put on a stupid voice and say "oooh, your kids are suddenly ill?? Are they? Hardly my problem is it??"

@LemmysAceCard it's not as rare as we thought and the MPs had battons and handcuffs ready.

@FuckingFabulous did you make it clear to “the really polite admin lady” that you heard her say that before she connected you to Cliff?

@peaceanddove

Cowbells are you the poster who has already said he must be creepy? You seem very vehement on the matter?

Aside from his (very matter of fact) declaration, he's never done a single thing that is creepy/awkward. Whether I can or can't see the situation from his wife's perspective is neither here nor there. It doesn't change anything does it?

It’s v creepy behaviour, how can you not see that

[quote Hardertobreathe]@FuckingFabulous did you make it clear to “the really polite admin lady” that you heard her say that before she connected you to Cliff? [/quote]
No, we were both stunned! Dh did put in his email though that someone might want to tell Clare that her hold button is broken

A neighbour had put her washing out and left it out all day. At 6 pm we had a sudden downpour which only lasted a few minutes but was quite heavy. An hour later I watched her unravel an extension lead and proceed to dry each pegged out item with a hair dryer. They were weird and I was glad when they moved!

Used to work in A&E (receptionist) and a quite well dressed - well to do looking lady came to be booked in and quite openly told me without lowering her voice so quite obviously people queuing would hear too that she had a hi-ball glass stuck inside her vag. She went on to explain she was using it as contraceptive and didn't like the feel of her partner's penis touching her insides. 🤯 God only knows how big his dick must have been to get any friction. 🤣🤣🤨

Found out that 2 of my acquaintances are anti vaxxers - I'm horrified - may have to rethink who I mix with

@BearSoFair
I have a friend who believes that too 🤷‍♀️ And that the sensors on the top of street lights are really cameras and your every move is watched by “them”? My dh made her a tin foil hat to protect her from all the chemicals

A few years ago, on my birthday, my bestie and I went to a pub where her cousin was performing in a band. It was a nice evening, drinks were flowing and the band invited people to join in. Suddenly people were pulling maracas, pipes, drums and washboards from under the tables. It was so surreal, I looked at my bestie with my wtf face and she shrugged and ordered more drinks.

Now I question her ability to choose where we go drinking.

A wasp pinched a bit of chicken off my plate and flew away with it last summer

In my late teens/early 20's I'd left home and was working many live-in bar jobs or bedsit rooms in a seaside town while working. I was a bit wild, out drinking most nights but nothing too out of the ordinary.
This one room I stayed in was a room on the top floor of a house where an older couple lived. I had shared use of the kitchen and shared the top floor and a bathroom with a guy I worked with.
I thought the couple were a bit odd but the room was cheap and they pretty much left me alone as long as I paid the rent.
Anyway, one day I was in the kitchen making a cuppa or whatever, and the couple came in, questioning me about work or something, then all of a sudden the lady opened the cutlery drawer , pushed my head towards it and asked me if it smelled like heroin. I was like wtf?! Had no clue what that smells like or even why it would be in the cutlery drawer. Totally confused! I moved out shortly after that

My dad was in the police and my mother was a medical secretary.They met a very pleasant young man at the pub and he told them he was a doctor at the hospital where my mum worked. After that she used to see him in the corridor and he'd always stop for a chat. They became such friends that we all went for a long weekend together in the Lake District. Some months later he was arrested and my parents were shocked to learn that he was not a doctor at all.

1/ On a walk with dc in a wood and as we passed a tree, a squirrel suddenly fell to the ground at our feet with a loud whump and lay still. The branches of the tree were a looooong way up so we feared the worst but after a second, the squirrel opened its eyes, looked around and then shot back up the tree.

2/ When I first moved to London and travelled back late at night on the Northern line tube there was a genial old man who came and sat next to me, clutching a paper bag. We chatted and after a while, smiling, he leaned over and opened the bag to show the contents which turned out contain a big poo. When I got home and told my new flat mates they said ‘Oh yeah, the poo guy.’ as though it was the most normal thing to encounter on public transport. I stayed in the city for a few more years and encountered the poo guy quite a few times but that wtf moment was probably what convinced me that I’m a small town woman at heart.

@Mrsjayy

A decesed neighbour of mines son walks humans about on leads I saw his name in the paper he had been arrested

Do you live in Central Scotland ? We've had a guy doing that near us

My mum had cancer which she later died of.

A close colleague at her workplace, mid twenties, was also diagnosed with a rare cancer. Increasingly it was clear she was dying of it too, she lost a lot of weight, had experimental treatments etc. Mum and she talked about it a lot and had a mutual support relationship about it.

Then one day we discovered the colleague wasn't dying after all. She had munchhausen syndrome. The whole illness was a fabrication. Definitely a wtf moment though we were happy she was ok!