Something unexpected that made you go "wtf??"

[FuckingFabulous]

I want to hear examples from your experiences. Like when someone drops the facade for a second and you see something a bit scary about them, or when someone reasonable comes out with something utterly ludicrous and you've no idea how to react. I want to hear them! Because earlier today, I found out that my neighbours daughter doesn't have identical twins called Ronnie and Jensen, which was my assumption. She has one boy called Jensen, but my neighbour hates the name and will only call him Ronnie. The boy is six. His middle name isn't even Ronnie. His grandma just prefers that name and calls him that.

I was having morning tea with a group of workmates at a summer vacation job. The conversation turned to horse racing. One young woman said the last time she’d gone to the races the horse she’d backed had fallen and was shot. I said that was terrible. “Yes,” she replied, “it was winning when it fell”. There was no concern at all for the poor horse.

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That is a crazy story about the pigeon man. Another pigeon story - didn't happen to me, but to a friend - she'd taken her little boy to a city farm, to see all the lovely animals - aww look at the cute goats, the chickens, the ducks etc. Then aww look at the pigs - whereupon one of the pigs attacked a pigeon and ATE IT in front of everyone.

In the till queue at a nice clothes shop a few weeks ago, the lady paying at the till and the next in line having a discussion with each other. No shouting or raised voices so I was very surprised to hear the first woman say in a totally normal voice “And fuck you” as she walked past the other woman and out of the shop.
Also one I loved when my kids were small. We were in the park and a nice looking woman dressed in very smart office wear walks into the park, gets on a swing and has a really good swing for about 10 minutes, then gets off and walks away.

BF was in the garden when suddenly there was a soft thump. She looked down and there was a large blue egg, still intact. We figured it was a pigeon egg— pigeons round here are of much lower IQ than the other birds.
A pair habitually nested in a tree that was used by local magpies to roost, thereby providing the bigger birds with a convenient local takeaway

Regarding how hard it is to sleep if your feet are cold, bedsocks, hot water bottles etc:

The very best thing is one of those heated bags - you warm it up in the microwave for 2 minutes then drape it over your feet in bed. Absolutely brilliant.

A man was disputing paternity and I was briefing the mother for court.
I was asking the usual questions re dates etc when she stated very definitely that: He must be the father because I was only a little bit pregnant when I met him.
Besides thinking WTF I was just very sad for the child and it’s relationships with “father” and paternal “family”.

My cat refused to use a pet pad that conserves body heat (foil lined and
non electric. So I experimented and found it was ideal for maintaining warm feet.

@Cindie943811A

A man was disputing paternity and I was briefing the mother for court. I was asking the usual questions re dates etc when she stated very definitely that: He must be the father because I was only a little bit pregnant when I met him. Besides thinking WTF I was just very sad for the child and it’s relationships with “father” and paternal “family”.

Didn't you say "Well if you were already pregnant when you met him, he can't be the father"?

@Cindie943811A

A man was disputing paternity and I was briefing the mother for court. I was asking the usual questions re dates etc when she stated very definitely that: He must be the father because I was only a little bit pregnant when I met him. Besides thinking WTF I was just very sad for the child and it’s relationships with “father” and paternal “family”.

Substance misuse or hadn’t attended school?

(I’m not making fun, this sort of confusion/lack of knowledge sadly happens to a lot of people)

@Myusernameisnotmyusernameno

I have a couple. When I was about 18 I was working in a restaurant in town and a drunk couple decided to have sex just feet away on a wall from where I was waiting for a taxi and the woman kept saying she's watching us. I was trying not to look. Once a man walked into a pub I was in with a snake around his neck. Also one other time I walked past a young lad who had a real tarantula attached to his t shirt and was walking along with it. Once at a bus stop a woman hitched her skirt up and did a wee in front of everyone in broad daylight. Also saw a girl throw up on a bus. I must attract these people 😂

My friend use to carry her pet monkey in her sweatshirt, people loved it - not really much point in an interesting exotic pet if you cant share the wonderment with everyone else.

The throwing up on a bus surely isnt wierd at all, millions of people have travel sickness, bus rides are long and stuffy and you have zero control of it... hope she was ok.

@silverbubbles

I had a boyfriend in my twenties who told me that he had upset family friends when he was young. Apparently he had tipped their daughter upside down and filled her up with salt..................wtf?

This has really made me laugh!

I worked with a seemingly intelligent but slightly naive young woman. All was going well, we all bonded well during training.

One day, during lunch, we were all chatting and somehow the conversation turned to dragons (don't ask, I've no idea how). She proceeded to ask the group (about 10 of us) where they lived, because 'surely they can't live in cities and whatnot, they'd always be burning stuff down and hurting people'. She genuinely believed in dragons. We were all 😳

A woman was telling me that when her children were born it was customary to be given a dose of castor oil and an enema. I asked her why and she said in all seriousness “ Well the castor oil is to grease the baby’s head to help it out” she was also of the opinion that vitamin supplements were of little value during pregnancy since she had never taken them and had had easy births, whereas her sister, who had taken vitamins through her pregnancy , had a much harder labour.

@viques

seems like another alumni of the University of Midwives Tales and Other Random Bullshit

One night years ago we heard a commotion and yelling outside our top floor flat. Looking outside, in the dark, we saw a man on the ground being punched and slapped by two other men. DH opened the window and shouted" Get off him, I'm ringing the police! " One of the men looked up and growled "We ARE the f*ing police! "

Went on holiday to Florida. Bought tickets to a Rodeo type show. My DD, who was 6 at the time pipes up "My friend Megan is in Florida, I bet we will see her at the show tonight". I explained that was very unlikely. Get to the show, and bam, there she is!

My Mum saw a medium, who told her that she would come to own a guitar by unusual means and that she would win the lottery. A few years later, her and my Dad were sitting in the garden late at night having a few wines, and a guitar flies over the fence and lands in the middle of the lawn. A couple of weeks later they won £20,000 on the lottery. The same medium told my Mum about lots of changes that would happen in my life. She used my name, which is highly unusual. Every single thing came true. I was sceptical until this happened.

Google Oliver's Travels. Although it turns out the price is £100k not £10k!

[quote ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba]@viques

seems like another alumni of the University of Midwives Tales and Other Random Bullshit[/quote]
Sorry you doubt me , it is a true story, and she was perfectly convinced that that was the reason for the castor oil. Hammersmith Hospital if anyone wants to verify it!

I was teaching a community adult education class around the times of the anniversary of the moon landings and decided to focus on this as a topic. After watching a documentary on it one of the students piped up 'It's amazing they managed to stay up there so long' and of course I agreed, and talked about the technology of the time blah blah, and then she 'No, I mean, well the moon gets smaller doesn't it' . I'm still not quite sure whether she was thinking of the phases of the moon or the fact that you can't generally see it during daylight hours but I did gently explain that the moon is actually always the same size despite how little of it we may actually see at times.

Another more serious one with a previous partner who, a few weeks after we had been going out, casually dropped into conversation about the period of their teenage years when they had believed they were Jesus Christ. I guess it was the fact that I had had no build up to the seriousness of the mental health challenges they had previously experienced and felt quite unprepared for what was being said. They were very well recovered and it led to a more in depth discussion & understanding about their previous difficulties but out of the blue it was quite a lot to take in.

That was supposed to be in response to @81Byerley - I haven't got the hang of this yet!

Omg the dragon one has reminded me! I used to have this friend, one day I went round her house and she excitedly showed me her new pet, a bearded dragon. She said he hadn't breathed fire yet and she wasn't sure if he was too young to do it because maybe only adults do it. She was being deadly serious and was really disappointed when I explained that they don't actually breathe fire and that fire breathing dragons are mythical, like unicorns. Then she goes "Unicorns aren't real either!?!"

Driving to work I always used to see this old man walking in high-vis along the pavement on a certain stretch of road.

One day, driving in as usual, I saw him but this time he was bent over with his trousers down, mooning the cars as we drove past!

It was a bit of a shock actually.

Caster Oil causes diarrhoea and the action of the bowels helps contractions to start.

@Clawdy I was once in Camden in London and saw two big men wrestling a smaller man through an unmarked door. I called 999 and reported a kidnapping. Turned out they were police officers and were aresting him.