Something unexpected that made you go "wtf??"

[FuckingFabulous]

I want to hear examples from your experiences. Like when someone drops the facade for a second and you see something a bit scary about them, or when someone reasonable comes out with something utterly ludicrous and you've no idea how to react. I want to hear them! Because earlier today, I found out that my neighbours daughter doesn't have identical twins called Ronnie and Jensen, which was my assumption. She has one boy called Jensen, but my neighbour hates the name and will only call him Ronnie. The boy is six. His middle name isn't even Ronnie. His grandma just prefers that name and calls him that.

@Confusedandshaken

On Monday I was walking along a very wide, quiet pavement. I came to a junction and stepped to one side to press the crossing button when a very loud squeaky voice squealed "Gerrout of me way'. I jumped, stepped to the side and coming up very fast behind me was a very small, very old lady on a mobility scooter. It's lucky I moved fast because there is no way she could have stopped in time to avoid me. She was wearing a face mask so all I could see of her was a hat and and her eyes. I pressed the crossing button and as we waited I said to 'A please would have been nice'. Her eyes twitched from side to side a few times and then she gabbled 'Oh shurrup you' and took off on her scooter at breakneck speed. It was so unexpected I laughed out loud.

I saw her later whizzing round the covered market but I kept well out of her way. She might not have missed me the second time.

Having been run over by- no, pushed under a car by- a scooter at a road junction I wouldn't have been able to laugh at that. It haunts me.

Perfectly ordinary Monday morning I arranged to meet my mum in our local town.
As I approached our meeting place I find my mum stood, deep in conversation with Superman ( complete with plastic hair piece - the works).
Later that day I pop to the bank.
Inside the bank is a random man with a budgie on his shoulder. Nobody bats an eyelid.

@ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba

once I set off with a friend to go to Portsmouth. ended up in Oxford.

I took the wrong exit without realising and not being British I had no clue it didn't dawn on me until we drove for roughly right amount of time but there was no sea or signs to Portsmouth anywhere.

Don't know if it's true or not but a few years ago someone from the West country was travelling to London to watch Chelsea, he put Stamford Bridge into the sat-nav and finished up in North Yorkshire in the village of that name. My daughter travelling from Cambridge to Stratford (upon Avon) didn't think being directed south on the M11/M25 was odd.

@CallMeCleo
I think the “adult” part of the adults only holiday village confused poor Marco. Maybe he was expecting some sort of sex camp, and was mortified when he realised his mistake.

All in all, he sounds almost sweet, despite his lecherous ageist ways. Totally memorable character.

I’ve just looked up Warners and I think I would have loved it! The other guy must have thought all his Christmas’s had come at once!

I had the very weirdest school meeting ever when I went to a briefing session about an overseas History trip my DD was going on. The first thing that happened was that I was given some leaflets by two lovely, helpful sixth-formers, who then very inconsiderately turned out to be proper grown-up teachers. While I was still reeling from that, the Head of History walked onto the stage and started talking. And she looked and sounded exactly like a woman I've worked with quite a few times, who is not and has never been a History teacher. She had the same face, the same voice, slightly different hair, but basically The. Same. Person. Like they'd hired the same actor to play two different parts in my life and were hoping I wouldn't notice.

She must have noticed me gawking like a yokel because after a while she said kindly, "Do you know my twin sister by any chance?"

None of this was in any way okay. Teachers should be a minimum of my age or older, and they should never, ever turn out to be the surprise identical twins of people I know from a completely different context.

@smudgemylife

Not quite what you asked for, but here goes...

At a gorgeous park, warm summers day, sun slowly beginning to go down and sat eating ice creams facing the lake. Literally the perfect end to a lovely day.
Sat on a bench by the lake was a little old man who we'd seen wandering around the park earlier, throwing crumbs from his sandwiches to the birds.
He ended up surrounded by a ridiculous amount of pigeons, he even held out his and and one jumped up and began eating the crumbs directly from his hand.
It was so sweet and surreal, I was totally transfixed.
Then, in a flash, he grabbed the pigeon in his hand and snapped its neck!!! Stood up from the bench, casually dropped it into the bin next to him and wandered off.

Honestly the most mental thing to ever happen to me.

W t f 😳😳😳😳

@ThatWriterInTheCorner

I had the very weirdest school meeting ever when I went to a briefing session about an overseas History trip my DD was going on. The first thing that happened was that I was given some leaflets by two lovely, helpful sixth-formers, who then very inconsiderately turned out to be proper grown-up teachers. While I was still reeling from that, the Head of History walked onto the stage and started talking. And she looked and sounded exactly like a woman I've worked with quite a few times, who is not and has never been a History teacher. She had the same face, the same voice, slightly different hair, but basically The. Same. Person. Like they'd hired the same actor to play two different parts in my life and were hoping I wouldn't notice.

She must have noticed me gawking like a yokel because after a while she said kindly, "Do you know my twin sister by any chance?"

None of this was in any way okay. Teachers should be a minimum of my age or older, and they should never, ever turn out to be the surprise identical twins of people I know from a completely different context.

Haha I really laughed at this!

Latecomer on an EasyJet flight leaving first thing on a Sunday from Amsterdam to Edinburgh. Sat next to me. Told the steward he needed the toilet. Reply was to hold it.
He then pissed into a sick bag and handed it to said steward after the safety briefing.

The post upthread about the man stroking the poster's ankles reminded me of a time I was on a train in the middle of the day, on the way to London. A smartly dressed man got on mid-way through the journey and sat down directly opposite me (which I thought was odd because there were lots of empty seats) and started up a conversation. At first he seemed normal enough, but then started to gently rub his foot up and down my shin. I thought he may have been doing it by accident until I looked up and saw the expression on his face. It was so creepy! His eyes were rolling in the back of his head and his mouth was gaping open in what can only be described as an expression of sheer orgasmic joy. He must have REALLY liked shins.

I've posted about this before, but here goes anyway.

I ended a friendship after this incident. Friend and I with our DHs were at the beach, just sitting ing the sun and she suddenly said "That's disgusting"

I looked up and all I could see was a crocodile of schoolchildren (obviously with additional needs) walking along the beach with a few teachers.

I said "What's disgusting?" I thought something had happened and I'd missed it.

She said, "Them. Wouldn't you think they'd keep them off the beach away from normal people."

My heart died a little, then - and she moaned on about them being "disgusting" and "freaks" etc and I'm ashamed that I didn't have the courage to challenge her in the middle of the beach on a day out.

I did say, "Oh - they're just enjoying the beach", but that was all. We made excuses and left early. Driving off, DH said "I didn't think people thought like that. They're only bairns." That was what I told her when we next spoke. It was the last time.

@TheRebelle

One Halloween when I was about 8 or 9 we were trick or treating (only people we knew), we knocked on one door and the woman, a friend of my mum’s, took our buckets, rummaged through them and took a sweet out of each then gave us a new sweet out of her packet, my mum asked her what she was doing and apparently she thought that’s what everyone did. We didn’t knock on her door after that.

In our little cul-de-sac my OH had a reputation for getting into the Halloween fun, he had masks, my cape, skeletal gloves, the lot and the local kids loved it. However one year a group arrived at our door, he opened it, did his scary bit, one of them, about 9, almost dropped the baby she was carrying who looked terrified and was screaming. We calmed them down, gave them sweets and they left, they lived in the next estate but had heard of OH's fame! An hour later a very angry father was thumping our door threatening to call the police because the baby wouldn't settle.

At Epcot in Florida early one morning. Walking to a before park opening Princess breakfast - so lots of parents, pushchairs and little girls in princess dresses. A bird of prey suddenly swoops down and grabs a squirrel and flies off with it - only me and a Dad noticed it was so fast we were 😳
Another Disney one, early one morning walking on path from Contemporary Hotel to Magic Kingdom park not even open yet and a mother pushing a massive jogging stroller with 2 older kids in (6/7?) rushes past us so I have to grab young DD so she isn’t run over. A bit further on she then tips the stroller off the path so the stroller and kids are upside down. Rather than checking kids she then turns and yells at her husband who was nothing to do with it.

@Spied

Perfectly ordinary Monday morning I arranged to meet my mum in our local town. As I approached our meeting place I find my mum stood, deep in conversation with Superman ( complete with plastic hair piece - the works). Later that day I pop to the bank. Inside the bank is a random man with a budgie on his shoulder. Nobody bats an eyelid.

My daughter once spent a day dressed in an animal costume to promote a new shop opening, she had a great time going up to people she knew and whispering things to them few knew!

The rogue racing pigeon reminded me of school. A white and ginger pigeon with a tag on joined the grey school pigeons. We nicknamed him Ian after a boy my friend fancied who had ginger hair. This would have been first or second year High School. Over our time at School Ian had babies then grandbabies with the grey pigeons.

i was in the smoking area at work many years ago, which was out the back of the building with a bike shed as shelter. there were Rentokil traps around and the man used to come round every so often and check the bait/refill etc.

on this particular occasion the Rentokil man suddenly asked me ‘is there anything heavy around here? or a stick or something?’. i was a bit confused, but pointed out that there was a traffic cone in the bike shed.

marvellous, says the Rentokil man, i’ve found a big one! he then took the traffic cone and proceeded to beat a large rat to death with it.

i’m pretty sure this doesn’t fall under the category of ‘humane’ but i was so taken aback i just finished my cigarette and went back to my desk.

that was a weird day.

@LyndaSnellsSniff did you ever marry?

I was once driving home late at night, quiet country road just off a woodland park. AI man dressed in a long cape and white face paint walked in front of my car and turned, eyeballed me and growled then walked off.

On another occasion I was driving to work at 5:30am to see 4 blokes dressed as The Beatles walking along the road. It is a student area so assume they were returning home from a fancy dress party.

I was on a train chatting to friends. As the train started slowing down there was a natural lull in the conversation and we all happened to glance out of the window. There were about 10 men in high vis jackets, arms outstretched, circling a large, very stout, very cantankerous-looking pig.

I have a couple. When I was about 18 I was working in a restaurant in town and a drunk couple decided to have sex just feet away on a wall from where I was waiting for a taxi and the woman kept saying she's watching us. I was trying not to look. Once a man walked into a pub I was in with a snake around his neck. Also one other time I walked past a young lad who had a real tarantula attached to his t shirt and was walking along with it. Once at a bus stop a woman hitched her skirt up and did a wee in front of everyone in broad daylight. Also saw a girl throw up on a bus. I must attract these people 😂

@HooverPhobic

sorry if I wasn't clear.
what I meant was that they had no knowledge of each other before pond swimming.
I never mentioned one to the other or vica versa, like how you might say something about one friend to another so when they meet they'd be like "oh yeah, you are xyz that Zing mentioned to me".
I was the only person they both knew despite the fact they must have been crossing paths living in the same town, kids being in same school etc.
it wasn't like "gosh you are familiar, where could we have met?"

They were total strangers essentially.
And even though they were both present at the baptism (which was about 5 years before said holiday) they never actually got acquainted there.
I think it was quite amazing how they could've bumped into each other many times, very conveniently, but it happened on holiday in an unlikely situation.

I hope that makes more sense

Just thought of two more. Bringing my newborn daughter home from hospital and taxi driver starts texting whilst driving. My partner said mate do you mind stopping that and watching the road. Driver seemed quite surprised. Then seemed to remember we had a newborn baby and said oh yeah sorry mate I'll put it away. Then did it again.
Out for dinner with my partner for first time since baby was born. Man walks past the window completely naked. I was like wtf 😂

We were invited to two weddings at the same venue, on the same day- by either side of mine/DH families.

The brides and grooms did not know each other. We had to stay overnight as it was quite far from home. It was the first time my mother and my DH mother had met each other!!

We attended both weddings (ate the main at one, buffet at the other) and some of my family were a little cheeky trying to cadge free drinks from the open bar at the other wedding. The groom brought it up with me a few months later- I was so mortified it brought on a migraine

@Myusernameisnotmyusernameno

I have a couple. When I was about 18 I was working in a restaurant in town and a drunk couple decided to have sex just feet away on a wall from where I was waiting for a taxi and the woman kept saying she's watching us. I was trying not to look. Once a man walked into a pub I was in with a snake around his neck. Also one other time I walked past a young lad who had a real tarantula attached to his t shirt and was walking along with it. Once at a bus stop a woman hitched her skirt up and did a wee in front of everyone in broad daylight. Also saw a girl throw up on a bus. I must attract these people 😂

Jeez remind me never to go anywhere with you! 😂

@Melitza

As a student nurse 40 years ago. A woman's dh , a very professional looking guy about 50, was visiting dw and newborn. The mum had sore nipples so was using a nipple spray before feeding. When the baby pulled a face the df commented and the nursery nurse explained to the df that it was the taste and he should try some. Before she could spray his hand he had leant over and licked his wife's nipple. Nursery nurse and I gave each other a wtf look!

That's hilarious.

@peaceanddove

One of my DH's best friends admitted he had been in love with me for years! He was stone cold sober and quite matter of fact about it. I'd always known he had a soft spot for me, but never expected this! I've known him for 30 years and think of him like a brother. He's been happily married with children for years, but it's me who he has always been in love with, apparently.

Similar thing happened to me too but with a boyfriend's friend. He was absolutely lovely too. Bit of a shame that as boyfriend turned out to be a bit of a shit not that long after!