Something unexpected that made you go "wtf??"

[FuckingFabulous]

I want to hear examples from your experiences. Like when someone drops the facade for a second and you see something a bit scary about them, or when someone reasonable comes out with something utterly ludicrous and you've no idea how to react. I want to hear them! Because earlier today, I found out that my neighbours daughter doesn't have identical twins called Ronnie and Jensen, which was my assumption. She has one boy called Jensen, but my neighbour hates the name and will only call him Ronnie. The boy is six. His middle name isn't even Ronnie. His grandma just prefers that name and calls him that.

@SailingBuddy

I had a colleague, who seemed completeing rational. Normal chit chat around the office for years. He was an analyst and highly educated. It was the week after the London marathon and the weather had been rubbish in the lead up to the day but the sun had shone on the day of the marathon. I said how lucky it was and he said "well it's not luck, it's worth too much in tourism for it to have been raining". I must have looked as confused as I felt, so he explained how the government made sure that the weather was good for big events so as not to lose out on the tourism money that the events brought in.

I went back to my desk and told another colleague what he had said...and she agreed with his point of view! She said that the govt also made sure there was good weather for William & Catherine's wedding.
I can't understand how two well educated people could think that!

Lmao in all honesty i was going to go into the air force at one point to do weather control... as in to monitor the equipment that controls the weather... it's actually a thing 😳😂

High school- one of the prettiest girls in my year. They type the lads all fancied and tried to remove her bra every lunch time.
One day sat in art drawing faces and I decided I didn’t want to draw my own face so was looking around to draw someone else.
Spot the girl picking her nose and eating it. Then looking around to see if anyone is looking.
This goes on well past a three course meal, she picks her nose a final time looks at the prize at the end of her finger and eats it.
Then she makes eye contact with me, and puts her finger to her lips to shhhh me.
I was so disgusted and could never look at her the same afterwards.

when I was pg with DS5 people seemed to be obsessed about sex of the baby.
it was a bit boring tbh but one day one of my kids asked if they'll have another brother or a sister.
I said it doesn't matter, then asked what they thought.
DS2 replied: "I don't know mummy, but I hope it's a crocodile"

😳

A gross one, sorry.

Many years ago, sitting in a window seat on a train, when a 20s bloke with only one leg sitting opposite started trying to chat me up. Since I was a) tired, and b) didn’t want to be chatted up, eventually I pretended to be asleep.

When I knew the train was finally pulling into my station I opened my eyes - to find the bloke openly wanking - and ejaculating all over my new shoes!

There were people sitting across the aisle, and nobody had noticed.

I was too shocked to say anything - just exited PDQ.
What pissed me off most was probably the fact that I had to throw my new shoes away.

@smudgemylife

Not quite what you asked for, but here goes...

At a gorgeous park, warm summers day, sun slowly beginning to go down and sat eating ice creams facing the lake. Literally the perfect end to a lovely day.
Sat on a bench by the lake was a little old man who we'd seen wandering around the park earlier, throwing crumbs from his sandwiches to the birds.
He ended up surrounded by a ridiculous amount of pigeons, he even held out his and and one jumped up and began eating the crumbs directly from his hand.
It was so sweet and surreal, I was totally transfixed.
Then, in a flash, he grabbed the pigeon in his hand and snapped its neck!!! Stood up from the bench, casually dropped it into the bin next to him and wandered off.

Honestly the most mental thing to ever happen to me.

What?!

I would have taken his photo and reported him to the RSPCA. Sounds like he gets lots of practice.

Awful.

Totally outing if anyone on here knows me... Also TW racist language.

As a student, I waitressed in a very posh country club in the Hamptons one summer. The place turned out to be ultra conservative, you had to be voted in, and there was clearly an unspoken rule that noone from a minority ethnic group was allowed.

The club was hosting a memorial service for a member who had played for one of the big New York basketball teams. A load of his old teammates were invited, the majority of whom were African-American.

I was standing at the bar getting a drink order, and an immaculately dressed old lady walked up to the bartender and said "Thomas, I think you ought to know, there's a n*gro on the patio".
He said "they're Xs old teammates, they're here for the memorial service."
There was a pause, and then she said
"Couldn't they get any white ones?" And wondered off.

I'm fairly sure I was doing the cartoon, mouth hanging wide open thing. I'd grown up in London my whole life til that point, and I'd never witnessed such overtly racist behaviour. It was nearly 20 yrs ago now, but to this day I can't think about this story without literally shaking my head to myself.

Friend swore that she remembered one year when Good Friday fell on a Saturday hmm and then got really angry & defensive when called on it.
That has made me laugh!

I was in the coffee shop of a naice London store (Peter Jones in Sloane Square) , it was crowded but I saw a beautifully dressed woman sitting on her own at a table for four. I asked if one of the seats was free and she waved her hand to one of the chairs so I smiled , said Thankyou and sat down. I got on with eating my cake, drinking my coffee and checking my phone when all of a sudden, out of the blue , she leaned across the table and hissed at me “ The last woman who sat there was extremely interesting and a wonderful conversationalist, she knew a great deal about trees in Nigeria.” She then sat back in her chair, drank her coffee and ignored me completely. I have never finished a cake so fast. When I left she was still there, guarding her table like a malevolent spider.

@ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba

when I had my first baby clinic appointment with DS1 (he was 8 weeks old I think) I bumped into our local pool's lifeguard. we started chatting, turned out we picked the same names for our boys.

at some point I just shook my head and said "it's so strange that I'd seen you around, never knew you were pregnant"
she replied: " nor did I".
😱

she thought she had appendicitis and was rushed to hospital only to be told she was in active labour. that's when she found out that she was pregnant!

That happened to my best friend. Her partner phoned me one day to tell me she had just given birth. She woke up with back pains and though something was really wrong, turns out she was in labour!

Last year suring lockdown I was outside exercising when suddenly I heard a big thud. A few metres from me laid the decapitated body of a pigeon! I looked up and saw a Red Kite circling. I concluded either it had dropped it or caught it mid-flight. I briefly went inside and when I came out again the body was gone.

Many years ago I worked at a well known UK holiday camp place. I worked in the bookings office, so booked people in for their next holiday. One day I was going through the details of a booking with a lady, when she suddenly grabbed hold of my hands and said “you’ll never marry, you know!” Then just carried on discussing her booking.

Really unnerved me.

@SaskiaRembrandt

Lol!!

Reminds me of a time when on holiday I saw a little boy react rather strongly to a bird pecking his sandwich with "Fuck off, fucking penguin!"

Apologies if you've already answered this, because I am literally responding as I read through the thread, but.......did you ever find out wtf was up with your dad??

No, we have a few suspicions like, my mum has a private pension and he doesn't so he's still chasing her for that. He has a friend who is much older than him and very unwell, but is very wealthy and basically my dad will be left everything because he doesn't have anyone else to leave it to. We think maybe he didn't want to share it. He could have just separated from mum, but he tried to ruin her to make people think she was the terrible one. Reported her to try and make her lose her job etc. (Malicious reports, obviously).
He obviously didn't want to be the bad guy again. He had already left her for another woman 5 years previously, and she had taken him back.
We also though he may have had some sort of break down. He's had depression for years but will never do anything about it.

@ninecoronas

On honeymoon, DH and I were on a trip to the jungle. One evening we were sat eating dinner with another family- silent husband, bookish child of around 10, and the wife was some sort of very eminent academic from Venezuela, very well-read and charming.

As we got stuck into our food, the MOST ENORMOUS palm-sized mega-hornet lowered itself into our vision like something from Apocalypse Now, and came to rest on the plate of the wife. It had a gigantic stinger, twitching away, probably as hideously poisonous as everything else in the jungle.

She didn't bat a eyelid, didn't even pause her conversation on Venezuelan politics or break eye contact, but plunged her fork into the creature's back and calmly and slowly sawed its head off with her steak knife. Which she then wiped on her plate and carried on eating and chatting. We were awestuck. They make 'em tough in Venezuela!

Love it because you know most of us would be flapping around screaming!

About 30 years ago, I was walking over a zebra crossing and there was a woman in front of me with two small children walking behind her. They were a boy and girl of about 2 and 3. Absolutely beautiful children. I felt a warm feeling in my heart looking at this family and imagined them as a proud mother duck with her little ducklings.

Until the woman turned round and shouted: “how can I fucking cross the road with you pair of c*nts?”

Driving down the Aston express way in Brum spotted a stationary taxi, drivers door open. Said driver was leaning out urinating onto the carriage way. He didnt even get out of the car but stayed sitting and just leant his crotch out. I can only think he must have been really desperate for a wee.

Re. the identical twins one... I had a therapist I saw once a week for four years. I was very upset to receive a text from her phone telling me she had died and details of the funeral. I went to the funeral and it was hosted by what appeared to be her but turned out to be her identical twin! Of course I'd had no idea she had a twin or indeed anything about her life. My lord that was a strange experience.

When I was at uni I had a job on bank for covering shifts in care homes, once day I had to step in and cover a shift at the last minute at the same home my brother worked at.

The staff there didn't twig that I had the same last name as my brother and they were there just casually chatting about how his Fiancée was sleeping with another member of the staff and they wondered if he was ever going to catch them out!

They twigged who I was when my brother arrived to pick me up after my shift finished.

I work for a reasonable company, our bread and butter is in assessing risk and mitigating it.
Just before the first lockdown they decided that the best course of action was to stuff 3 different teams from separate areas into one small office instead of just letting us work from our own separate large offices
The woman who was trying to write the Covid policies was trying to tell them look if one of us gets it and brings it in it means 3 teams are out, was met with well the Director feels it’s safer this way 😂

One of my DH's best friends admitted he had been in love with me for years! He was stone cold sober and quite matter of fact about it. I'd always known he had a soft spot for me, but never expected this! I've known him for 30 years and think of him like a brother. He's been happily married with children for years, but it's me who he has always been in love with, apparently.

@peaceanddove

One of my DH's best friends admitted he had been in love with me for years! He was stone cold sober and quite matter of fact about it. I'd always known he had a soft spot for me, but never expected this! I've known him for 30 years and think of him like a brother. He's been happily married with children for years, but it's me who he has always been in love with, apparently.

eek!

@awmum2b

When I was at uni I had a job on bank for covering shifts in care homes, once day I had to step in and cover a shift at the last minute at the same home my brother worked at.

The staff there didn't twig that I had the same last name as my brother and they were there just casually chatting about how his Fiancée was sleeping with another member of the staff and they wondered if he was ever going to catch them out!

They twigged who I was when my brother arrived to pick me up after my shift finished.

So, did you tell your brother? What happened?!

@StayAGhost

My DH attended the same barbers for over 40 years. The barber constantly called him Pete even though that isn't DH's name but his much older brothers who emigrated when DH was very young so hadn't set foot in the barbers for decades. When he was young DH had been too shy to correct him and so it continued.

Eventually a school mum acquaintance of ours started working in the barbers. She was there one day when the barber called DH Pete. She commented on this saying ' I thought your name was Alex'. DH confessed that his name was Alex but the barber had called him Pete since he was 10 and he'd never corrected him. The barber thought this was hilarious. He couldn't stop laughing and said to another customer "Did you hear that Jimmy, I've been calling this fella Pete for his entire life and he never put me right.' There was a bit of an awkward silence and the customer said 'I never wanted to say it, but actually my names not Jimmy!'

a friend of mine was telling me about her summer holiday.
They went to stay in a cottage in a remote French village that had a tiny pond nearby, suitable for swimming.
On most days it was just them in the water, not another soul. barely anyone around really.

One day another family was there by the time they arrived. They heard them speak in English so started chatting and pretty soon they discovered they live in the same small town, kids went to same primary and secondary (different times/years) etc.
And that they both knew me. They never knew about each other.

Later I told them that they both attended my DD's baptism service but they never met.

I had a boyfriend in my twenties who told me that he had upset family friends when he was young. Apparently he had tipped their daughter upside down and filled her up with salt..................wtf?