To want to settle a generation gap argument: older (female) relative is saying women had to give up work when they got married?

[Winnabella]

Got an older female relative (aunt) who gave up work when she married my uncle (now passed away). They got married in 1964. My parents got married in 1970 and my mum carried on working. My grandmother carried on working until she was in her late 70s. But my aunt goes on about how it 'wasn't acceptable' to carry on working after getting married. She's not done too badly being a SAHM but does go on a bit about the sacrifices she made. She had a cleaner and a housekeeper to do the housework and she and my uncle had 2 children. My cousins often joke about how they had to wear their pyjamas for two weeks. My aunt came round on Sunday and she went on and on about the job she did just before she got married. It is a bit like she's been stuck in time - this was nearly 50 years ago now. Was it the case that women were frowned upon in the 1960s for working if they got married; and how come my mother and grandmother seemed to hold down jobs (my mum part time after I was born and before I started school)

My great aunt worked in a bank and she had to stop when she got married. She says it's just how things were back then.

@Bouledeneige

Yes. My Mum had to give up her job in the civil service when she got married because they didn't employ married women though that was in the early 50s.

It was very much the case that women couldn't carry in working in many jobs - it just depends on what area of work. So in the professions, banking, nursing women were probably discouraged from working but if you worked in a shop, school, market stall or cleaning maybe not.

Schools were one of the worst ones. Heaven forbid a child should see a pregnant woman!

@Winnabella

Got an older female relative (aunt) who gave up work when she married my uncle (now passed away). They got married in 1964. My parents got married in 1970 and my mum carried on working. My grandmother carried on working until she was in her late 70s. But my aunt goes on about how it 'wasn't acceptable' to carry on working after getting married. She's not done too badly being a SAHM but does go on a bit about the sacrifices she made. She had a cleaner and a housekeeper to do the housework and she and my uncle had 2 children. My cousins often joke about how they had to wear their pyjamas for two weeks. My aunt came round on Sunday and she went on and on about the job she did just before she got married. It is a bit like she's been stuck in time - this was nearly 50 years ago now. Was it the case that women were frowned upon in the 1960s for working if they got married; and how come my mother and grandmother seemed to hold down jobs (my mum part time after I was born and before I started school)

Yup my MiL had to give up work in 1973 when she got married (in Ireland)

My grandmother was a Classics teacher, with a 1st class degree in Classics from Cambridge, and had to just give up her career when she got married, but this was in the 1930s. She went back to teaching after she was widowed in the 1950s.

Slightly different but as a young teacher the '70s in a department of 3 - two men and me - one of the men was the head of department and the other was on a similar salary and level of responsibility to me - I was actually better qualified than him.

There was a promise of promotion in the offing and one day out of the blue I found out my male colleague had got it and I hadn't been given it. I was a bit shocked that I'd not been offered promotion and asked the headmaster why - I felt I did my job well and got good results. The head told me quite calmly that my male colleague was given it because he was a married man and had a family. Not that he was a better teacher than me, but I believed that they thought I wasn't good enough and left shortly for another job. It's was blatant sexism

It back fired on them as I heard that my married male colleague had lied about his qualifications and was quietly dismissed

@EvilTwinsAreHere

My mum worked for the NHS in a managerial role, fairly senior, in the early and mid 70s. She was well paid too, about £6k a year, more than my dad for a while.

She did give up work for a number of years in the late 70s and 80s when DC arrived but went back in the late 80s and worked until retirement.

I think possibly there weren't any nurseries who could take young children as there are now? She didn't have any family help. So maybe working wasn't even an option?

I agree. Even when I had my kids in early 1990 nurseries were still few and far between, professional women who wanted to work had nannies! There weren’t before/after school clubs in our areas- a very new concept. My generation of mothers were raised at a time when less than 7% of women went on to university and went into “professional” jobs. The majority of women left school straight into work/ training in roles that have always been poorly paid in comparison to men’s job eg caring, service etc.. Right into the 1970s mortgages were based on just the husband’s salary- kept house prices lower . The whole economics and practicalities meant it made more sense to be a SAHM right through until mid 1980s really, and even in early 1990s SAHM were very common, especially in non graduate population

My generation of mothers were raised at a time when less than 7% of women went on to university and went into “professional” jobs.

Indeed so, and girls who stayed on into the sixth form were more likely to go to a Teacher Training College for which you only needed 5 O levels, rather than go to University. When I left school in 1969 some Colleges of Education were just introducing B Eds, for which you did need A levels. Non graduate teachers were paid less, I recall, so since they were more likely to be women, this was another piece of discrimination.

Haven't RTFT, but I learned women gave up work when they got married in the 60s after reading The Edible Woman. My DM gave up teaching in the early 70s when she had Dsis because there was no maternity leave or available childcare to speak of.

I was refused a credit card from my bank without my husband’s signature in 1984. I was 27 with my own home, mortgage, professional job and I was single. When they realised I was single they wanted my father to sign act as guarantor. Although this was common, and I had banked there since I was a child, I moved my account and have never gone back.

Depends on the job. My mother's professional role in the civil service was only open to single women in the mid 70s so she quit when she married my dad. Depressing; she never regained her former status and then chose to be a SAHM because she hated her other jobs after marriage

Well done @Riv - thank god for women like you coming before my generation

My DM married in 1961 , she could continue to work as a doctor . Her DM had had to give up work in the civil service in Ireland .

My mum was told to leave Boots when she married my dad in 1963. " As you know we do not employ married women". My sister shredded the letter when my mum died and I have nothing forgiven her.

My all girls state school had boards with former pupils and their degrees on in main hall, I used to look when bored in assembly. Literally a handful for each year out of 150 girls in a year. My mum taught most of her career with only a certificate in education no degree or postgraduate, she has O levels but had dropped out of A levels to work. She eventually did a degree part time and graduated same year as me.

I haven't voted either way as it depends on the job and even on the particular employer within the job.
My Mum got married in the mid 50s and still worked, as did my MiL (who got married in 69), as did most of my parents friends and our relatives. Perfectly normal to keep on working, but not unheard of for some companies to let you go when you got married.

I'm really shocked that you didn't know about this, OP.

I think it was the case in certain fields. My grandmother on my mother's side worked as she and my grandfather had shops in the 1940s-70s and she was the one with the better head for figures so did all the accounts. But she was her own boss and in any case shops were a different story to things like civil service.

@YukoandHiro thank you. It’s amazing just how far we have come … but there’s still a long way to go. Glad there are still strong women willing to stand up for their sisters.

Yes it was certainly expected. Many employers would not employ married women. The sort of work available to married women was very limited and it was not socially accepted. Many did work anyway of course, but not without experiencing disapproval and discrimination. It was also considered a matter of shame for the husband that he ‘couldn’t provide’. My mother was a nurse before she married and my father was horrified that she wanted to go back to work after marriage. His attitude was that it would shame him as a man. Women were expected to stay at home, wait on this husbands and look after the house and children. I thought this was common knowledge.

Its so much worse than that, OP. For many jobs, women had to get written permission from their father to work if they were under 21 or lived at home, or from their husband if they were married.

For many women this is true, or if they were allowed to work it was called 'pin' money. My Mum wanted to buy 'herself' a tumble dryer in the early 70s on HP but had to get my Dad's signature. She had to give up work when she got married but she had to leave school at 14 because her parents wouldn't pay for her to have a school blazer as their 2 sons got priority.

@Lookingoutside

My friend once told me that M&S didn’t employ married women. That female staff ‘had to leave’ when they got married. I always wondered whether it was true or not but could find a definitive answer.

A female relative of mine worked for M&S for nearly 40 years from about 1980s and she was married. She also worked with some staff who’d been there since the 1950s, most of whom were married.

There was no contraception (or it was against their religion) so it was expected that women would fall pregnant as soon as they got married and there wouldn't have been maternity pay/leave. In 1994, I had to go back to work full time when my DS was 10 weeks old or I'd have lost my job.

I went to an interview for a teaching post in 1977, 3 candidates female and one man. The panel chairman came to tell us we'd been unsuccessful and said he was sure we'd be glad the job had gone to a man.

I remember when I got married in 1994 that my director (local government) told me that in the past I would have been expected to give up work.