To want to settle a generation gap argument: older (female) relative is saying women had to give up work when they got married?

[Winnabella]

Got an older female relative (aunt) who gave up work when she married my uncle (now passed away). They got married in 1964. My parents got married in 1970 and my mum carried on working. My grandmother carried on working until she was in her late 70s. But my aunt goes on about how it 'wasn't acceptable' to carry on working after getting married. She's not done too badly being a SAHM but does go on a bit about the sacrifices she made. She had a cleaner and a housekeeper to do the housework and she and my uncle had 2 children. My cousins often joke about how they had to wear their pyjamas for two weeks. My aunt came round on Sunday and she went on and on about the job she did just before she got married. It is a bit like she's been stuck in time - this was nearly 50 years ago now. Was it the case that women were frowned upon in the 1960s for working if they got married; and how come my mother and grandmother seemed to hold down jobs (my mum part time after I was born and before I started school)

She's totally right, although it was changing in England around the late 1960's and it was becoming almost acceptable for a woman to work after marriage, and several employers would actually allow women to continue work part time although fewer would allow them to continue full time and once married your promotion prospects were openly, severely curtailed.
In many communities, it was seen as shameful for a wife to work outside of the home. It was considered to be a big slur on the husbands manhood, I remember hushed voices whispering about how awful it was that "Betty's husband isn't man enough to keep her" (i.e he doesn't earn enough).
Women earned less for doing the same job and working the same hours because it was considered women only worked for "pin money". In most jobs there was a "woman's wage" and a "mans wage, the man's always being higher. Women didn't have the same rights or career progression either.
Women were not able to enter the workforce on equal terns until 1975. Before that they were not allowed to do certain jobs or train for certain professions and it was totally acceptable for an employer to refuse to employ a woman, or to employ a man over a woman even if he was considerably less qualified.

Depends on where you worked but yes a lot of places didn’t employ married women. My mother had to leave her job as a shorthand typist when she got married but she easily got another job elsewhere in an office that was more enlightened.

I grew up in the 70s. Many of my primary teachers were married but I distinctly remember my Gran asking what my teachers name was and if I replied Mrs. Xxxx she would be quite aghast that all these married women were working and why didn’t they give their jobs up to unmarried women. She was born in the previous century mind ;)

"Maternity leave was available , maximum 18 weeks on half-pay & back to work when baby was 6 weeks old.

Where you getting this from and when do you think this happened? As far as I'm aware there was no maternity leave or pay until at least 1975 and even then there were stringent and restrictive qualifying conditions. When I had dd in 2001 even, there was still limitations far greater than there are now."
"

Personal experience in 1967. And council-run nurseries were available - at a means-tested cost.

Woman on mortgages was probably the 70s as that is when DM went onto their mortgage and house documents.

I remember watching open mouthed at the Back In Time For The Factory 1968 episode (Alex Jones presented last year or so). One of the women received a letter from the employer saying ‘Now you’re pregnant your services are no longer required’ - and that was it! Sacked for being pregnant in 1968.

Your family's attitude towards your aunt is horrible, pity the private education your mother and grandmother had didn't teach respect for others especially family.

My grandma worked nights in a hospital. While being a wife and mother of multiple kids.

She's 90 years old now. Married in the early 1950s. Working 50s till 80s.

My great aunt married a policeman in the late 1940’s and remember her saying she was made to give up her job at the post office. She said it was deemed unprofessional for a police man’s wife to work as it suggested the policeman wasn’t paid enough.

@DentonsFringeArnottsWaistcoat that's exactly what happens to my dm in 1972 when she told her employer she was pregnant with me

I used to work with someone who had to get the partners (law firm type place) permission to keep working after she got married.

I used to work for a high street bank and this was absolutely a thing in the 50s/60s women had to give up work upon marriage. In fact one lady told me of another lady who said you also had to ask the branch manager for permission to get married! (Not sure how true that is)

The large nationally owned corporation I worked for back in the 70’s policy was that women had to leave once they got married! I saw so many female colleagues lives ruined when they left the job they loved and the independence that gave them. I remember being almost outcast when my boyfriend and I moved in together without being married. I was called into the office by my manager who said he had heard about my living arrangements and was aware I was ‘deliberately trying to circumvent the company rules!’ Life was made very difficult for me from then on. I applied for another job at a well known insurance company. In the interview I was asked if I was on the pill and whether I’d ever had an abortion! I walked out of the interview. This was what the world of work was like for young women back then. I was feminist from day dot and remember spending my youth very angry at men for the way women were treated.

It was normal to give up jobs but plenty of women did re-enter the work force in the late 1970's/ 1980's upwards and so your Aunt could have re entered the workforce if she wanted to. My DM left but re-entered in 1980 and worked up to Management.

@Hankunamatata

Depends how rich you are. Working class women could rarely afford to stay at home. My granny worked all hours and her sister had the kids. My mum gave up work as she was over 40 before she got married and had a bit if cash behind her

That's sort of true but only in that working class women who were in jobs that didn't let them marry either moved jobs or didn't marry. They still suffered curtailment of autonomy that their working class husbands did not.

@TheAlphaandtheOmega yes I experienced that too, it was common practice. And women were definitely expected to stop work when they had children in the 1980s.
I was in a management role, and the company pension provided an in-service widow's pension but nothing for a widower. When I queried this, I was asked why on earth would my husband want a pension if I died!!
And don't get me started on the sexual harassment, which was always just "banter" or a "bit of fun".
And the men who used to ignore the office phone so that I would end up answering and they could pretend I was their secretary.

DH was in a work meeting in about 1993 where merit pay rises were being discussed. One of the other managers (female) suggested that the only other man in the department should get a better pay rise as he had a family to support. DH was outraged.

I left the world of newspapers in 2009 and I can honestly say it was the most sexist place I’ve ever worked. Once I had a baby there were lots of comments about me leaving now I’m a mum. I was features editor in a good job so why would I? 2 months after Mat leave they made me redundant.

Women who were officers in areas of the civil service and in government bodies such as the British Geological Survey were forced to resign on marriage right up until the mid-seventies.

Even if you could legally work in your profession, it wasn't socially acceptable to have a working wife in some circles, meant the man couldn't afford to keep her - still the case in some societies, though ironically in lower income groups.

AIgreed. lived in a very rural village until about five years ago and the only married women who didn't work were some of the Ladies (with a capital L) but more surprisingly most of the farmworkers' wives and some of those families were on their arses.

I had relative who was a nurse in the NHS who had to leave her job when she married in the late 50’s.

Both my grandma (married late 1940s), and my great-grandma (married sometime 1910s, I think) carried on working after they were married. Grandma worked in the telephone exchange and G-grandma was a cleaner. Oh, and at least one of grandma's sister did too - in the payroll department of the local authority.

@TheAlphaandtheOmega

Woman on mortgages was probably the 70s as that is when DM went onto their mortgage and house documents.

We bought in 1971 and we were both on the mortgage but the amount we could borrow was 3x OH's salary and 1x my salary. SOme would give 3.5x depending on your job.

I was told in 2002 by a university careers advisor that I should avoid a potential employer (in engineering) finding out I had a child and even more so that I was a single mum as wrong though it was they wouldn't employ me. It was a man's world with lots of old school bosses who were used to their staff having a wife to leave with childcare duties.

A lot of women in the 70s paid the married woman's stamp which was less National Insurance as it was seen that they relied on their breadwinner husband and ended up with much less pension.

My mum got married in the late 50s and carried on working in the Civil Service. She had a career break but went back when the kids were at school. Things really changed in the 70s, so women that weren't working were not working through choice then. Some of my friends at school had fathers who didn't "allow their wives to work." This was the 1980s! I had maternity leave in the 90s and my boss was shocked I wanted to go back to work. Things have changed massively in the last 30 years.