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Original poster

AIBU to let my children chalk on the road? Neighbour washed it all away.

999 replies

TakesTheCake · 28/03/2021 19:10

We have lived on a small square for four years, where the neighbours are pretty unfriendly and insular (unlike our old street, where they were all lovely and welcoming and mutual support abounded :-( ), and two doors away lives a couple who have always been reasonably friendly and cordial.

Today my two boys aged 7 and 12 were outside playing for a few hours on the square with the boy from next door - riding scooters, running, swinging on the swing in the little grassed area, with me and the boy’s dad keeping watch. My elder boy ran in to get the chalks they sometimes use to draw on our driveway but this time they all drew on the road (there is no pavement, just driveways and road). It covered outside our house and also the neighbours’ house (the couple we are somewhat friendly with). They were really proud of their creativity, finished up, then came in for lunch. Five minutes later the neighbour came out of her house, ran the hose on her driveway and worked pretty hard at scrubbing/washing it all away.

The kids were dismayed when they saw her doing it, and thought they had done something wrong. It felt really horrible for me too, as I don’t think kids’ chalk drawings are out of order in any way, and will wash away in the next rain. They have never caused any issues in the road, so it can’t be because of built-up resentments that spilled over, and they have literally never drawn on the road in the whole four years we have lived there.

She saw me see her doing it, and it feels really awkward now. I would rather she had come over and just straightforwardly said it bothers her to see it from her window and could I make sure it isn’t outside her house again. Washing it away felt passive aggressive, or she really feels I let them do something out of order and wrong.

AIBU to have let them? Are children’s chalk drawings on the road (NOT her driveway or even close) not OK?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
Catlitter1 · 28/03/2021 20:42
Grin
RootyT00t · 28/03/2021 20:43

@HamFisted

It doesn't rain on neighbours driveway. She doesn't let it, because it's hers. She goes out with a giant hairdryer to get it away

mouse70 · 28/03/2021 20:43

1st lock down a number of children near me used chalk to draw loads of things on the road and pavement. It was lovely to see and watch them playing. No one was harmed and the marks washed away with rain a few days later. I see nothing wrong in doing this. Had it been paint and graffiti that would be something else!!!!

SleepingStandingUp · 28/03/2021 20:43

@Viviennemary

Your children not only trespassed on her driveway but also defaced it. You should be the one apologising.
Surely that pales into nothingness compared to then chalking over her dinner and pelting her iwth chalk and then power washing her as she slept in her bed and then eating all the porridge?
HikeForward · 28/03/2021 20:43

She was probably cross about them playing in the road and on driveways, scooters are noisy and if they were scooting up and down the same bit of road for hours then drawing all over it I guess they were shouting to each other too?

Maybe she saw the chalk as graffiti not creativity. Was there any need for them to chalk beyond your property?

I really dislike kids playing in roads and in front of driveways, those areas are for cars.

Might she have been worried her car would get chalked or scratched?

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 28/03/2021 20:44

@RootyT00t

@*@SleepingStandingUp*

That's not true.

The neighbour has a Newfoundland dog, he was black but now he's chalk pink, and they rode him like a donkey up the side of her wall

No the neighbour is called Boswell for short they call her Bos and she chalked up the post office steps.
IdblowJonSnow · 28/03/2021 20:44

Ffs so many people not reading the OP!
YANBU.
The miserable cow. In future just let them chalk on your land. Wouldn't bother me tho. Quite liked seeing all the rainbows and hearts during the first lockdown.
Perhaps you could chalk misery on her drive?
I could understand someone washing it off a few days later if it hadn't rained but doing that to kids when they had JUST finished was very mean.

RootyT00t · 28/03/2021 20:45

@HikeForward

She was probably cross about them playing in the road and on driveways, scooters are noisy and if they were scooting up and down the same bit of road for hours then drawing all over it I guess they were shouting to each other too?

Maybe she saw the chalk as graffiti not creativity. Was there any need for them to chalk beyond your property?

I really dislike kids playing in roads and in front of driveways, those areas are for cars.

Might she have been worried her car would get chalked or scratched?

Yes , so worried was she, that she hid under the blinds watching them and then snuck out when they went in to wash it away rather than going to OP and saying hey, the kids are quite near my car and in worried. You know like normal people.

Not donning a balaclava and a water bottle and sneaking out, hiding behind walls to wash away artwork.

Bluntpencil · 28/03/2021 20:45

Maybe a chalk ran off with her first boyfriend and she is still bitter about it?

Get your Dc to write “we love you neighbour” next time?

RootyT00t · 28/03/2021 20:46

@Bluntpencil

Maybe a chalk ran off with her first boyfriend and she is still bitter about it?

Get your Dc to write “we love you neighbour” next time?

I heard her husband had an affair with a pink bit of chalk named Pamela.
Kettledodger · 28/03/2021 20:47

OMG people we live in the UK and it's late March at least a shower is probably less than a few hours away. it was NOT on her drive and really can't get het up over chalk on the road.

Though actually chalking her dog was a bit much IMO

RootyT00t · 28/03/2021 20:47

@Kettledodger

OMG people we live in the UK and it's late March at least a shower is probably less than a few hours away. it was NOT on her drive and really can't get het up over chalk on the road.

Though actually chalking her dog was a bit much IMO

I can't 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
toomanyplants · 28/03/2021 20:48

Yeah she sounds a right misery.
Get on Amazon for a jumbo bucket of chalks just in time for the Easter holidays.
Draw a big line where her driveway starts and label it
"Fun boundary"

ImAlrightThanx · 28/03/2021 20:48

She's being UR.

RootyT00t · 28/03/2021 20:49

@SleepingStandingUp they can't play kerby as there is no pavement, as clearly explained. Why are you the only one who hasn't RTFT!!

FuckingWaffleDoggy · 28/03/2021 20:49

Chalking outside her house would have been fine, it was the massive cocks the children drew and annotated that was the problem I bet .

Viviennemary · 28/03/2021 20:49

I'm glad we don't have any families like this in our neighbourhood. Children should be taught consideration of others and know right from wrong.

RootyT00t · 28/03/2021 20:50

@Viviennemary

I'm glad we don't have any families like this in our neighbourhood. Children should be taught consideration of others and know right from wrong.
I know who id rather live next to.
Strangekindofwoman · 28/03/2021 20:50

@Viviennemary

I'm glad we don't have any families like this in our neighbourhood. Children should be taught consideration of others and know right from wrong.
What did the kids do wrong?
TrustTheGeneGenie · 28/03/2021 20:50

@Viviennemary

I'm glad we don't have any families like this in our neighbourhood. Children should be taught consideration of others and know right from wrong.
Oh god I can't tell if you're being sarcy or not
LH1987 · 28/03/2021 20:52

Bizarre behaviour from the neighbour!

LST · 28/03/2021 20:53

@Viviennemary

I'm glad we don't have any families like this in our neighbourhood. Children should be taught consideration of others and know right from wrong.
Sarcasm? Surely?
MmeLaraque · 28/03/2021 20:53

"Today my two boys aged 7 and 12 were outside playing for a few hours on the square with the boy from next door - riding scooters, running, swinging on the swing in the little grassed area, with me and the boy’s dad keeping watch. My elder boy ran in to get the chalks they sometimes use to draw on our driveway but this time they all drew on the road (there is no pavement, just driveways and road). It covered outside our house and also the neighbours’ house (the couple we are somewhat friendly with). They were really proud of their creativity, finished up, then came in for lunch. Five minutes later the neighbour came out of her house, ran the hose on her driveway
and worked pretty hard at scrubbing/washing it all away."

So neighbour cleaned her own driveway, and you're complaining?

PurpleMustang · 28/03/2021 20:53

That is just damn miserable. I live on a dead end. Have told the neighbours their kids can draw out the front of mine no problem. It washes away

WombatChocolate · 28/03/2021 20:54

Some people don’t like children playing out in front of the houses. They are of the view they should all just play in their own gardens. We lived with some neighbours like this who disliked children riding their bikes in the cul-de-sac. I guess children don’t always play quietly and sometimes people worry their property or car is going to be damaged by things like balls.

This neighbour clearly didn’t like them chalking near her house. It was passive aggressive ego hose it off and you were designed to see it. I’m Not surprised you feel awkward.

That neighbour is asserting what she sees as her authority and warning you off letting the children play out or certainly not letting them chalk.

It’s up to you now how you respond. You can be cowed into keeping your children in or you can continue to let them play out. Keeping chalking to your own driveway is probably best either way.

Regarding if you raise the issue, that’s up to you. I probably would but in a light hearted way. I’d light heartedly say I’d seen her hosing the road and directly ask if she didn’t like the children chalking in the road. I’d mention that all the children did it when you were growing up and loved it and you couldn’t see any problem as it’s always washed away. I’d see what she said in response. I wouldn’t get into a row or a falling out about it. If she expressed real dislike of it, id express surprise and I’d just say that you’ll make sure they don’t go near her house when doing it. I wouldn’t offer more than that. I would be cheery and talk about something else then and chat a bit before going home. And I would keep any chalking away from her house but wouldn’t stop the children playing out. There’s definitely a balance to be struck here.

She knows you saw her hosing so she’s now waiting to see how your respond. Not saying anything probably will mean things are a bit awkward as the issue will never be spoken about. Growing resentment on either side can easily grow. Personally I really dislike personal unspoken animosity and resentment so I’d do what I mention above. However, I know lots of people wouldn’t.