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AIBU to let my children chalk on the road? Neighbour washed it all away.

999 replies

TakesTheCake · 28/03/2021 19:10

We have lived on a small square for four years, where the neighbours are pretty unfriendly and insular (unlike our old street, where they were all lovely and welcoming and mutual support abounded :-( ), and two doors away lives a couple who have always been reasonably friendly and cordial.

Today my two boys aged 7 and 12 were outside playing for a few hours on the square with the boy from next door - riding scooters, running, swinging on the swing in the little grassed area, with me and the boy’s dad keeping watch. My elder boy ran in to get the chalks they sometimes use to draw on our driveway but this time they all drew on the road (there is no pavement, just driveways and road). It covered outside our house and also the neighbours’ house (the couple we are somewhat friendly with). They were really proud of their creativity, finished up, then came in for lunch. Five minutes later the neighbour came out of her house, ran the hose on her driveway and worked pretty hard at scrubbing/washing it all away.

The kids were dismayed when they saw her doing it, and thought they had done something wrong. It felt really horrible for me too, as I don’t think kids’ chalk drawings are out of order in any way, and will wash away in the next rain. They have never caused any issues in the road, so it can’t be because of built-up resentments that spilled over, and they have literally never drawn on the road in the whole four years we have lived there.

She saw me see her doing it, and it feels really awkward now. I would rather she had come over and just straightforwardly said it bothers her to see it from her window and could I make sure it isn’t outside her house again. Washing it away felt passive aggressive, or she really feels I let them do something out of order and wrong.

AIBU to have let them? Are children’s chalk drawings on the road (NOT her driveway or even close) not OK?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
RogueMNerKnowsNoShame · 30/03/2021 23:47

@TakesTheCake
I've heard she's a dab hand at the cock n balls.

P.s your UN sounds very like a line from a crowded house song, but kind-of isn't. But you've given me an ear worm either way!

RogueMNerKnowsNoShame · 30/03/2021 23:49

Oh feck. My last post was supposed to @ @theleafandnotthetree but I did it wrong!

Sorry Blush

SleepingStandingUp · 30/03/2021 23:52

@RogueMNerKnowsNoShame

Oh feck. My last post was supposed to @ *@theleafandnotthetree* but I did it wrong!

Sorry Blush

That's your blue chalk confiscated for a week
TruJay · 31/03/2021 00:17

‘Shocked’ 🤣
Crikey, they’d have heart failure if they lived where I grew up. Kids on my estate stole the dumper trucks from the local school demolition site and drove over several cars on my street! Another time they set several of them on fire, these are only two of the many many incidents that happened.

Lucky them that they have only had to be ‘shocked’ by children’s chalk drawings!

AlCalavicci · 31/03/2021 00:30

This thread has kept me entertained for way to long !
@TakesTheCake I really was hoping there was going to be some sensible reason why she washed it off , like posh auntie Maude was coming over , or they were going to photograph the house and road ( while dodging HGVs hurtling past ) for the Ideal Home Show.

Look pintrest says its all ok so it must be .
www.pinterest.co.uk/gameonfamily/chalk-games/

And they are genuinely fantastic , your DCs and their pals are going to grow up to be able to earn good money doing this !
www.demilked.com/3d-sidewalk-chalk-art/

RogueMNerKnowsNoShame · 31/03/2021 00:43

@SleepingStandingUp
Noooooo!!!!! do not take my challenge away from me!
#thesechalksARN'Tmadeforwalkin'

LaceyBetty · 31/03/2021 00:44

@TakesTheCake

Oops, bloody dog knocked my arm. She wasn’t in but her husband was and I had a long chat with him about the development and other issues, then said I was sorry that the chalking on the road was an issue for them. He said it was an “offence” to chalk on the road and they were shocked. I just said up until that day they had only ever chalked our driveway and on that day they were with the neighbour’s boy and it spilled over, and I hadn’t realised it would bother anyone, and that I would make sure they didn’t do it again.
I can't believe you conceded to them!!!!
Sweetpea1532 · 31/03/2021 01:06

You lot are too speedy for me to keep up!

@SleepingStandingUp
@Butwasitherdriveway
I must say your fact checking is slipping a wee bit...have you not noticed that a pp has said that @TakesTheCake s DC shouldn't be chalking the pavement..
As those of us who have RTFT know that OP specifically mentioned there was NO PAVEMENT to be chalked! I do realise that the pp could have been thinking in general terms , not about OPs DC.
I suppose that's why I've not been appointed fact checker for mumsnet as I'm a bit weak in accurately deciphering the meaning behind the written word.

@RogueMNerKnowsNoShame
Whatever are you going on about, hun? What does apologist have to do with anythingWink

@theleafandnotthetree...
Love your post about the Queen!
And if I may ask, why are you so late to this party? Where ever have you been? I must say, though, your contribution is stellarGrin

@FixItUpChappie
You get a few points for your humourous comments..keep them coming...I can see excellent potential in your input about DC and chalking, and unreasonable people in this difficult pandemic debacle.
@TruJay
Lol! Thanks for putting things in perspective for us about what some modern DC are up to instead of happily chalking with their younger siblings.

namechangeaga1n · 31/03/2021 02:04

Please don't let your children chalk on peoples' driveways. WinkGrin

From what you've described, it seems beyond petty - a bit like knocking over a snowman on purpose. Miserable git.

Deena07 · 31/03/2021 02:04

From what I have read, it could be classed as criminal damage, but couldn't find a reliable source to confirm that.

I wouldn't mind if children were drawing on the pavements, as long as you don't go onto someone's property - depending on what was drawn obviously!
Some artwork, hopscotch, four square box, a pretty rainbow - something to brighten up the street. During lockdown there were loads of places around my area where people drew chalk drawings, the park was a daily occurrence, it made me smile on my walks, one family even used the park to teach them words and equations, the rain washed it away.

I think she should have spoken to you or asked the children if they were at least finished with it, before washing it away personally.

tangerinelollipop · 31/03/2021 06:41

it doesn’t take one rain to wash away, I’ve seen the concierge of our building having to scrub it, so I guess it depends on the surface

I agree. I've seen people having to scrub the chalk as it doesn't always come off with rain (which in some places it's often very light)

AngelDelightUk · 31/03/2021 06:49

I actually hate seeing chalk scribbles all over roads and pavements. I’m probably miserable enough to wash them away too!!!!

Billandben444 · 31/03/2021 06:56

if it's communal for all to enjoy then surely it's for them to all enjoy in their own way, not only to enjoy how the neighbours decide
No it's not. Would you be OK if your communal area was used as a poo garden, all-night disco, giant trampoline area or fire pit? Communal areas are to be shared with respect for others.
I'm on the fence over this chalking though. A rain shower doesn't clear it and usually makes what was colourful and cheerful (if that's your bag) into a murky mess. The neighbour was wrong to do it immediately and I'm sure OP's children were pretty gutted - a mean thing to do - but to do it the next day would have been fine. I don't understand why children's rights now seem to come before those of adults, the neighbour didn't like looking at it so had the right, surely, to remove it. Timing was crap though.

jessstan2 · 31/03/2021 08:05

@namechangeaga1n

Please don't let your children chalk on peoples' driveways. WinkGrin

From what you've described, it seems beyond petty - a bit like knocking over a snowman on purpose. Miserable git.

The op has stated more than once that it was NOT on neighbour's driveway. It was in the road outside neighbour's house and only in lockdown.
SleepingStandingUp · 31/03/2021 08:29

CBeebies letter of the day is C in honour of chalk. Let's see if Nick Copes podcast covers this thorny issue

SleepingStandingUp · 31/03/2021 08:32

I don't understand why children's rights now seem to come before those of adults
Because I believe the children are our future, teach them to draw well and let them lead the way. Show them all the beauty they possess inside by giving them chalks to draw it out, give them a sense of pride to make it easier by not s rubbing their sled expression out. Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be.

Macncheeseballs · 31/03/2021 08:34

I'd rather see chalk than dog shit any day

Butwasitherdriveway · 31/03/2021 08:35

@SleepingStandingUp

You're sad but am I forgiven or not?
Only if you dress up as a chalk and march outside the neighbours house singing 'we don't chalk anymore '
Butwasitherdriveway · 31/03/2021 08:36

@SleepingStandingUp

I don't understand why children's rights now seem to come before those of adults Because I believe the children are our future, teach them to draw well and let them lead the way. Show them all the beauty they possess inside by giving them chalks to draw it out, give them a sense of pride to make it easier by not s rubbing their sled expression out. Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be.
I decided long ago never to chalk on anyone's driveway,,, if I chalk in the road at least il live what I believed. No matter what they take from me theyl never take my chalks from me
TheKeatingFive · 31/03/2021 08:40

I fully accept this point has been covered as it’s a long thread and I haven’t read it ...

But what kind of miserable fucker objects to children chalking on the street in the present time? Takes all sorts of assholes I guess.

SleepingStandingUp · 31/03/2021 08:41

poo garden, all-night disco, giant trampoline area or fire pit?

There's a difference between using it to poo on or for fires which involve clearly illegal activities (I know we've established chalking might be illegal but it's unclear that anyone in the situation knew that) and would damage the land permanently and it being used on a way which doesn't change the site permanently or damages it in a way they renders it unusable for its initial purpose.

Trampolines on the pavement (hypothetical, I know op doesn't have any) or a piece of road that isn't used by cars? No issue so long as the noise nuisance isn't exceptional or too late.

As for "everyone ignores old people needs" I'd feel the same way if op had wanted to wash off the neighbours art work. Just live bad let live. It isn't affecting you other than you choosing to state at it. Do you normally sit staring at the road? No? So why are you? To be offended? Right oh

SleepingStandingUp · 31/03/2021 08:43

@TheKeatingFive

I fully accept this point has been covered as it’s a long thread and I haven’t read it ...

But what kind of miserable fucker objects to children chalking on the street in the present time? Takes all sorts of assholes I guess.

I'm not scrolling through all those pages to list them but at least @AngelDelightUk 😉
TheKeatingFive · 31/03/2021 08:44

I'm not scrolling through all those pages to list them but at least @AngelDelightUk 😉

What an inappropriate user name then Grin

SleepingStandingUp · 31/03/2021 08:45

Everybody searching for an art hero, people need someone to look up to, I never found anyone who fulfill my needs because the neighbours always washed it away, a lonely place to be. And so I learned to depend on me and draw in a book.

Because the greatest love of a is happening to me - chalking. I found the greatest love of all
Inside of me - self expression through the medium of art. The greatest love of all is easy to achieve if the neighbours back off. Learning to love your neighbours though is the greatest love of all

theleafandnotthetree · 31/03/2021 08:48

@tangerinelollipop

it doesn’t take one rain to wash away, I’ve seen the concierge of our building having to scrub it, so I guess it depends on the surface

I agree. I've seen people having to scrub the chalk as it doesn't always come off with rain (which in some places it's often very light)

You're right and imagine what would happen if it was there for a few days or until heavy rain came along. Jesus, got panicky just thinking about that.