AIBU to let my children chalk on the road? Neighbour washed it all away.

[TakesTheCake]

We have lived on a small square for four years, where the neighbours are pretty unfriendly and insular (unlike our old street, where they were all lovely and welcoming and mutual support abounded :-( ), and two doors away lives a couple who have always been reasonably friendly and cordial.

Today my two boys aged 7 and 12 were outside playing for a few hours on the square with the boy from next door - riding scooters, running, swinging on the swing in the little grassed area, with me and the boy’s dad keeping watch. My elder boy ran in to get the chalks they sometimes use to draw on our driveway but this time they all drew on the road (there is no pavement, just driveways and road). It covered outside our house and also the neighbours’ house (the couple we are somewhat friendly with). They were really proud of their creativity, finished up, then came in for lunch. Five minutes later the neighbour came out of her house, ran the hose on her driveway and worked pretty hard at scrubbing/washing it all away.

The kids were dismayed when they saw her doing it, and thought they had done something wrong. It felt really horrible for me too, as I don’t think kids’ chalk drawings are out of order in any way, and will wash away in the next rain. They have never caused any issues in the road, so it can’t be because of built-up resentments that spilled over, and they have literally never drawn on the road in the whole four years we have lived there.

She saw me see her doing it, and it feels really awkward now. I would rather she had come over and just straightforwardly said it bothers her to see it from her window and could I make sure it isn’t outside her house again. Washing it away felt passive aggressive, or she really feels I let them do something out of order and wrong.

AIBU to have let them? Are children’s chalk drawings on the road (NOT her driveway or even close) not OK?

OMG, you let them chalk on her DRIVE unbelievable.

Or, you know, you didn't at all, and what a mean spirited lady! YANBU, tis only a bit of chalk!

@jessstan2

Avoiding the area? Cause the kids drew a picture on the road?

I've heard it all now

Unless it was a cock and balls yanbu.

@Fredshred

Meh, your kids chalked on the road, it’s a free country. She cleaned the road. It’s a free country. Each can do what they want on public road. If it’s important for your kid’s that their drawings stay, get them to chalk on your drive next time (it’s a nothing to see here situation for me).

Have to agree with this

Fredshred it’s not important to me that the drawings stay. I was upset because it left a nasty taste in our mouths after all their joy, they kept thinking they had done something wrong, and now there’s uncertainty and awkwardness with one of the only previously decent neighbours.

[quote Butwasitherdriveway]@jessstan2

Avoiding the area? Cause the kids drew a picture on the road?

I've heard it all now[/quote]
I thought she meant the Mardy neighbour

@SpiderinaWingMirror

Unless it was a cock and balls yanbu.

THIS

Although I’d be tempted now....

t’s not important to me that the drawings stay. I was upset because it left a nasty taste in our mouths after all their joy, they kept thinking they had done something wrong, and now there’s uncertainty and awkwardness with one of the only previously decent neighbours

That's just you creating a fuss where there didn't need to be any. You messed up, you created a bad atmosphere...you could have said "Isn't that nice of X to clean the road up after you had finished all your fun!",
Stop being so bloody dramatic about nothing.

Nothing to do with sexism, a male preschooler is just as likely to draw butterflies and hearts!

My point was a 3 year old doodling rainbows in chalk is likely to be seen as cute (boy or girl) neighbours tend to be more tolerant of very small kids.

3 older boys (2 almost teenagers) drawing monsters, faces, caricatures etc (according to OP they were drawing these things) will be seen as less cute, maybe a bit cheeky or distasteful on a public road that all the other neighbours have to look at. Neighbours may have seen it as messy grafetti that spread not cute chalk doodles.

Not a group of teenage boys. Two seven-year-olds and a 12yo who is still a very young 12 and still likes kiddish activities every now and then - or should he be be farting and reeking on the sofa and playing on the Xbox only these days? Not quite how you were painting (or chalking) it, is it?

Apologies, 2 aged 7 and 1 almost-teenager. It’s great your 12 year old enjoys art but he’s a bit old to be chalking the shared road. What’s wrong with chalking their own driveway/house walls? Or painting in the back garden? Drawing on your shed?

If they were reception age or younger she may have looked upon the artwork more kindly.

I’m guessing 3 kids aged 12, 7 and 7 did not play quietly on their scooters at the front of her house. Maybe washing off the chalk was her expressing frustration at the noise and the sound of scooters breaks on tarmac, not being mean about their artwork?

Was it on her driveway?

512 posts but no one thought to check their thinking ?

The key to remember is that there is no quantum of damages needed to establish criminal damage.

www.cps.gov.uk/legal-guidance/criminal-damage

...
Meaning of Damage
Damage is not defined by the Act. It should be widely interpreted to include not only permanent or temporary physical harm, but also permanent or temporary impairment of value or usefulness - Morphitis v. Salmon [1990] Crim.L.R 48.

Any alteration to the physical nature of the property concerned may amount to damage within the meaning of the section. The courts have construed the term liberally and included damage that is not permanent such as smearing mud on the walls of a police cell. Where the interference amounts to an impairment of the value or usefulness of the property to the owner, then the necessary damage is established - R v Whiteley [1991] 93 CAR 25.
...

More frothy posters might remember the shop that was threatened with charges for chalking on the pavement

metro.co.uk/2020/03/28/bakery-threatened-80-fine-drawing-chalk-pavement-promote-social-distancing-12471130/

It really pays to know the law, before you explain it.

(Fans of the history of legal jurisprudence might be interested to know that it was a series of court cases that established the zero quantum element for criminal damage. Which arose after people were putting bags over speed cameras. Not "damaging" them, but still preventing them from working. The legal principle is that it's possible to damage something without cost.)

Beyond that, no comment.

It's an eyesore, and kids should not be playing in the road.

I must admit I would not like to live somewhere in which children played on the street, never mind chalking the pavement or road. I have seen it on television, for example on 'Call the Midwife', but these were poor children living in a deprived area who had nowhere to play outside.

I expect the neighbour wants to keep the street clean and pleasant - imagine if a prospective buyer turned up and saw that. However she could have been a bit tactful and washed it off later on.

It has been difficult for children during lockdown so I would cut them a bit of slack at the moment, as long as they know not to do it when things are back to 'normal'.

I'm afraid my Mum would have done the same. Some people feel a responsibility to keep the are where they live "nice".

Wouldn't bother me.

It's chalk.

If they were using spray paint or gloss she'd have a point but chalk.. no way children have been chalking pavements for years.

I'm assuming it wasn't obscene or offensive so struggle to see her problem.

I would be worried about them drawing on the actual road though but that's for safety reasons. I'm assuming its a very quiet road though there's obviously traffic as there are driveways!

So YABU to let them play ON the road. YANBU to be upset with the neighbour scrubbing it away.

Your neighbour is a bit miserable but I wouldn’t get into a confrontation or an argument about it.

@ftm202020

Was it on her driveway?

Her bath. They spray painted her dog in the bath. Fact a

She sounds a bit miserable but then our kids' 'charming behaviour' is never so nice for other people. Go and chat to her before it becomes a 'thing'?

I must admit I would not like to live somewhere in which children played on the street, never mind chalking the pavement or road. I have seen it on television, for example on 'Call the Midwife', but these were poor children living in a deprived area who had nowhere to play outside.
Golly @TakesTheCake you're not one of those POOR people Are you?

Kids play outside so they can play with the neighbours kids without having to be confined to someone's garden. Parents might be ok with the kids playing where they can vaguely see them but not in someone's garden where they can't

It makes me so sad to see people saying they don't like it when kids play in the street. My best memories are playing hockey in the street (from Canada) and everyone yelling "car!!" when we had to get ourselves and goals out of the way. Drivers were always considerate too and wouldn't go barging through a family orientated neighborhood given a hockey game was likely in full swing on any given afternoon.

My friends and I did this in the 1970s in my friend’s road. We were having tea (banana sandwiches with sugar for added detail) when the next-door-neighbour rat-tat-tatted at the door and accused us of having defaced the road. We swore blind it wasn’t us.

I can see that it does make the road look a bit messy. They should chalk on their own drive.

Here's the thing: so far the votes show that just under 1 in 4 people would not like 'their' road / pavement to be chalked... now we cam argue about whether those people are reasonable or not HOWEVER, the votes suggest that letting your kids do this will upset at least one of your neighbours. So the answer is to keep the art for your own driveway - or be prepared for frosty neighbourly relations!

@MagratsDanglyCharms

Here's the thing: so far the votes show that just under 1 in 4 people would not like 'their' road / pavement to be chalked... now we cam argue about whether those people are reasonable or not HOWEVER, the votes suggest that letting your kids do this will upset at least one of your neighbours. So the answer is to keep the art for your own driveway - or be prepared for frosty neighbourly relations!

If we take into account the number of people with comprehension issues (omg you drew on her drive and think she's bu???) So I'd say 1 in 5.

Jesus wept! It's chalk, a quiet road a bit like a cul de sac and they're kids!

Kill joys abound.

And yes OP! Was it on her driveway?