What's a stupid thing you've done that you still think WTF did I do that for?

[whatsnewpussycat777]

Me

I wanted to kill the weeds between the slabs up to the front door.

No fucker one told me that they were going to crumble and dissolve if I used neat bleach.

What an idiot. 😢

Have you anything stupid to make me laugh on this cold evening 😃?!

Ps. Don't use bleach on certain slabs. certainly not neat

I was very luckily at the door with the conductor inside so he saw what was happening and opened it. He told me that when we got to our destination (the final stop for the train) I had to go up to the front and explain to the driver what had happened and that I was very very sorry. I did. The driver pissed himself laughing!

@BernardBlackMissesLangCleg

Stapled my finger to see if it would go through a nail

me too. what a fucking idiot

Fuck I’m glad it’s not just me.

Thank gods no one lets me near power tools.

I’m actually very sensible and risk adverse. Honest

@Moonflower12 I did exactly this except it was chocolate brownie and a steak knife. It went through my hand and out the other side! I bloody pulled it out as well!

@Ahmnotacat

I once stood on the end of rake to see if it really does come up and hit you in the face.

It does.

That made me laugh a lot. As did the sexting one.

I've done loads of stupid things, but last year I referred to myself in the third person and as 'Mummy' in a work meeting. Along the lines of 'Mummy will take you through the presentation now'.

I am laughing and cringing at this one

@dublingirl66

Heard a lovely bird in the garden the other day Took out my phone and opened FLIGHT RADAR to see what it was and where it was going Took me around 20 mins to figure out the mistake I had made 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

I mean, shazam I could have almost let you off with!

I was sat on a single seat right at the front of a bus, it was up a step and quite tight. My dh was sat further back where there was another empty seat.

As the bus emptied the seat next to him became free and to this day I have no fucking idea why I did this; instead of side stepping down into the middle of the bus and then turning around I decide I would turn before stepping down and attractively twirl round the pole.

Except I didn't. I tripped over my own feet and landed flat on my face, tearing my ankle ligaments for good measure. Still swollen 8 years later.

Saw an electric fence when out hillwalking and thought ‘I wonder what would happen if I touched it’. Then did.
Placed my knuckles on the plate of the plugged in iron to see if it was hot. It was.
Taken iron casserole (oven to table) dish out of oven using oven gloves, then took oven gloves off to move the casserole dish to table with my bare hands.
It’s like my brain is shrieking ‘do not touch’ but I do it anyway.

Rushing to get out to work one sunny morning I ironed my t-shirt while wearing it (iron still plugged in), burned myself and and spent the day with the tip of an iron shape visibly branded onto my chest. It was my birthday.

I a very steep water slide years ago, think it was called the kamikaze or something like that, the highest steepest drop slide you can imagine.
I was instructed to keep my eyes shut, my head right back, and my arms crossed over my chest.
On push off I decided to do none of those things, so cue the equivalent of industrial strength power hosing straight into my face and spent the rest of the day with 1 missing contact lense, loss of nostril function and completely deaf.
The Greek godlike lifeguards thought I was hilarious though.

As a child, I was sat in the middle of a lesson when the petal part of a lego flower fell out of my ear.

I had nowhere else to put it and was sat in a corner with someone beside me and a set of trays beside him so I couldn't easily get out of my seat and go put it in the bin.

So what did I do?

I put it back in my fucking ear, didn't I!

Started with £5...managed to, over the course of about 3 hrs, win £180. Should have quit while ahead....my luck turned and promptly lost the lot In about 10 mins flat with losing spin after losing spin....it's a mug's game!!

@Bunnybigears

Got home from the pub I wondered if it was possible to climb up the drain pipe and in my bedroom window to avoid having to open the front door as I couldn't find my key in my bag as I was drunk. I got quite far up bit then couldn't work out how to actually get in the window, then couldn't get down. My elderly neighbour bought his ladders over to rescue me!

😂 brilliant- and quite althletic tbh

Meant to say that was on Sky Roulette

*athletic, sorry

Just remembered something my Dad did that he wished he hadn't. My mum was ironing. The ironing board collapsed, and the hot iron was catapulted into the air. Dad leapt off the sofa, where he was sat watching telly, and caught it like a rugby ball. He didn't let go for ages, he said it didn't start hurting straight away.

@NoKingDingaLingTitsInAbsentia haha true

@Figmentofimagination

As a child, running round a friends back garden during her birthday party. Ran straight over the plastic manhole that covered a hole they had dug to store their dogs shit. Plastic broke and my foot and leg went into the hole. Was stuck and had to be pulled out by the dad. Had dog shit up to my thigh and got hosed down.

Why would you store your dog shit in a hole in the ground????!!!!

This turned me into Mutley...I've spent five minutes shaking with laughter!! I remember those dog poo bins, they were a thing...not sure how a submerged bin full of shit was meant to disintegrate and not just make the whole garden stink.

Ran through wet concrete as a kid. The guy had clearly just finished it too. His face was a picture. I shouted "sorry mister" and ran for my life like something out of The Beano. My trainers were encased in cement.

As an adult I threw a cup off hot chocolate (no lid) straight at my partner instead of in the bin. I have no idea why.

Peered closer to pick a scab near a horse’s hoof. Horse snatched hoof up and kneed me square in the mouth.
Blood everywhere.

Pre disposable lenses I had lost my contact lens case (can’t remember why or how) so was keeping my lenses in egg cups on the kitchen windowsill.Yes I know. But I was young and foolish. Anyway,, I woke up one morning full of energy and started cleaning the kitchen. Wiping down the table and work surfaces, mad washing up, scrubbing down the sink, clearing the window sill, sweeping the floor. Oh , hold on a minute did I just clear the windowsill..... I said I was young and foolish.

This happened many years ago when I was a kid of 11 in the 1950s. A mate of mine did a dirty drawing on the toilet wall. Next day one of my friends dragged me in there and while I was standing nearby the class snitch passed by. Later when the headmistress asked if anyone knew about it, she (snitch) said "Please miss I saw N showing it to her friends." Headmistress asks me what I know about the drawing. If I had been a little more cunning and worldly wise I would have told her "Nothing miss, my friend showed it to me."

She would have gone to the friend. Then back and back through the chain of kids until she met the first child to see it that day. She would never have solved the mystery and no one could have been blamed.

Like a bloody little fool I told her that I knew who had done it but I couldn't tell her because that would be snitching. The headmistress then began to cajole and bully me. She said I was in big trouble and she would contact my parents. I was scared I would get a beating from my father so I eventually told her who did the drawing. The teacher did not believe me and the other kid said I had drawn it. The headmistress made me get a bucket of water and scrub it off.

That day I learned some valuable lessons.

The meek do not inherit the earth, they inherit the dirt.

People who are honest and truthful are not always believed. It is often the clever liars who get away with things.

My childhood ended that day.

Just be glad you didn't use round up as glyphosate is banned in many countries and causes neurological damage if inhaled.

You guys need help 😂😂😂😂😂😂

When travelling in South America I once put my trousers on without thoroughly shaking them first. ALWAYS shake out any clothes if you are somewhere where it’s possible a nasty bug might be lurking.
As I stood at a bus stop 15 minutes later, I felt the fangs of a spider sink into my shin (thank goodness it wasn’t higher 😖🤦‍♀️) .
I had been bitten by a black widow. I splatted it through the trouser leg. The bite swelled up to the size and redness of an apple and I had a mild fever for 24 hrs. I still shake clothes, shoes and towels to this day and I now live back in England.

I dropped my phone on my head to see if it hurt. It wasn’t as bad as I thought so I did it again at a different angle. That was slightly more painful but I thought (for some odd reason) I’d do it again for a third time to be 100% sure. I didn’t do it a fourth...