To think you can't get past 'the ick' im a relationship?

[Thickums]

LIGHT HEARTED Interested in other posters thoughts on 'the ick'.

For those who don't know, the 'ick' is when someone you are dating just starts to irritate you for no apparent reason.
I dont mean normal annoyances, i mean they start to make your skin crawl and their mannerisms just go through you like a knife.
It can just creep up on you without any warning and they can even tick every box and otherwise be a 10/10 partner but unfortunately even them breathing irritates the life out of you. You try to fight it, but ultimately the irritation can turn to anger and make even the best of people become snappy with rage due to 'the ick'.

Ive experienced this once. Lovely bloke, not a bad bone in his body. After about 2 years for some reason still unknown to me i suddenly got 'the ick'. Watching him eat a pot noodle would make my blood boil.. Literally give me the rage. Everything he did irritated the life out of me.
As he was so lovely i tried my hardest to make things work. Until one day i confessed to a friend who told me about 'the ick' and how once it happens it can never be undone. They will irritate you forever. No one knows the cause of the ick.. But its incurable. So i ended it. Felt nothing but relief.

So am i unreasonable to think 'the ick' is a real thing and once it happens the relationship is doomed?

Has anyone else experienced this? What is the reason behind 'the ick'? Why does it usually seem to happen with people who tick all the boxes?

I can't lie, i sometimes read posts on the relationship boards where the OP will say their partner has suddenly said they want out. Whilst everyone else is shouting 'OW' i think to myself maybe they've just got 'the ick?'

I had this very vividly many years ago , I was going out with a lad who lived about 20 miles away and I would go to his on the bus. We always had a laugh , he was kind, treated me well, we had fun etc no problems with him or the relationship until the day the ick came ! He met me off the bus and he was wearing a hat , which was unusual he took it off after a lot of persuading to reveal his newly streaked hair. And that was that I just went right off him and ended the relationship.

Chips and fish - is that a euphemism or he just got it wrong?!!!

Yes. Shoes.
One bf was wearing cowboy boots.
And some years later one bf was wearing white slip on shoes.
I just felt I couldn't be near them from that moment. Not so much judgemental as elemental !

I’m crying at some of these.

I was texting this REALLY fit man. We’d been on a casual date with a bit of kissing but nothing sexual. Arrangements were made to meet up and we got down to a bit of sexting. All started off well, until.... he used the CAT EMOJI to reference my clit 😹

Goodbye really fit man who is too immature and childish to use the word ‘clit’. The thought of that message still makes my stomach lurch 😂

these men not third men 🙄

One guy referred to me as "kitten". WTAF.

We were talking about 'the ick' over 20 years ago! It's nothing new.

I think it is something once you have it you can't get rid of it. I remember getting it with a boyfriend - loads of things started making my skin crawl. I wanted to explode when he ate but I knew in my head he was doing nothing wrong - just eating normally. If he touched me I felt disgusting! I finished it soon after!

@friedascarload - have you actually had experience of getting over it? How long did it last? I can't see how you could talk through it - I mean telling someone you feel sick when they eat, touch you or even breathe - there's not much the other person can do other than stay out of your sight - which isn't much of a relationship. It's also pretty hard to appreciate and love someone you can't bear to be around?

Oh god I got it with XH and I'm almost too embarrassed to say how...

He used to be really, really good at oral sex. Sometimes I'd watch, you know, as he was doing his thing. Then one day, sitting in the living room, I looked over at him and he was nibbling a cashew nut. And his mouth made EXACTLY the same shape and motion as when he was giving oral.

That was it. The Ick arrived in full force. I did do the grown up thing and try to work through it/ignore it/bleach the thought from my memory but it was no good. From then on everything he did just irritated the fuck out of me.

Obviously oral sex was off the menu from that point on as well and tbh the rest of his game wasn't up to much...

Yes!!

Okay, so I was positively smitten with this guy for around five years! I thought he was adorable. I would see him often; although we were only friends who would flirt and kiss.

FF to five years later we thought it would be a great idea to sleep with each other (sober). Anyway, first time was great. Third time, however, I just had this urge to want to get the fook out of there! He just seemed creepy and a bit weird!

Poor bloke. His behaviour had not changed, but he made me feel sick. I regret messing up our friendship, but I no longer want to spend platonic time with him.

I cannot explain it.

I haven't RTFT but incase nobody has mentioned, the "proper" term for The Ick is called sudden repulsion syndrome and it is very much a thing

I had a thread on here discussing this a couple of months ago, under a previous name.

Not read full thread but how did it take you two years to get it pretty sure the definition of ick factor is supposed to happen before a few months have passed? and yes I have had before and you can’t get past it

He then looked up at me lovingly and said 'I'm a little baby, wah wah' then started suckling at my breast like an actual baby. I so so so almost threw up

I had a similar experience. Shudder.

I had this with my first boyfriend. All great, getting along fine until we went to a nightclub one night. James's "Sit down" came on and he literally sat down. In the middle of the dance floor

Oh god, some of these are unbelievably funny and so petty. Chips and fish 😂

@Weirdomagnet

Another one wore a pink jumper once. Death knell. He'd also sniffed the air in my flat once and said 'have you been cooking up a storm?". I hadn't. But the phrase alone was enough.

I don't know why but this has got me howling! 😂

He went to pick something up from the ground and bent at the knees I literally felt myself seal up.

^^

Weeps

This would so be me

I was once in bed with a guy, DTD, and he suddenly started saying 'come, managedmis, COME!!!' '

I didn't

Best thread add in ages! 🏅🥇🏆

I was with a lovely guy once who ended up irritating the crap out of me. Think it was my gut telling me he wasn't right for me. It came to a head when he told me he'd been making my tea milk first to see if I'd noticed, after I mentioned it was sacrilege. I'm not a science experiment!!

Not with romantic partners, but I had considerable trouble tolerating my (perfectly lovely) parents between the time I was 16 and 22. Their every mannerism annoyed me. I had to move out, and far away. I knew they hadn't changed and that they were great parents. The yucky feeling did go away eventually, but it must have been very hurtful to them while it lasted. I even stopped saying "I love you" to them because it felt like a stupid ritual.

I later theorised that this was nature's way of getting me to fly the nest. I recently mentioned it to my 20 year old, who still lives at home and claims never to have found me and DH deeply irritating. Slightly irritating on occasion, but not in an unbearable relentless way.

I later

@cherry4weans

It came to a head when he told me he'd been making my tea milk first to see if I'd noticed, after I mentioned it was sacrilege.

Milk first? PSYCHOPATH.