To think you can't get past 'the ick' im a relationship?

[Thickums]

LIGHT HEARTED Interested in other posters thoughts on 'the ick'.

For those who don't know, the 'ick' is when someone you are dating just starts to irritate you for no apparent reason.
I dont mean normal annoyances, i mean they start to make your skin crawl and their mannerisms just go through you like a knife.
It can just creep up on you without any warning and they can even tick every box and otherwise be a 10/10 partner but unfortunately even them breathing irritates the life out of you. You try to fight it, but ultimately the irritation can turn to anger and make even the best of people become snappy with rage due to 'the ick'.

Ive experienced this once. Lovely bloke, not a bad bone in his body. After about 2 years for some reason still unknown to me i suddenly got 'the ick'. Watching him eat a pot noodle would make my blood boil.. Literally give me the rage. Everything he did irritated the life out of me.
As he was so lovely i tried my hardest to make things work. Until one day i confessed to a friend who told me about 'the ick' and how once it happens it can never be undone. They will irritate you forever. No one knows the cause of the ick.. But its incurable. So i ended it. Felt nothing but relief.

So am i unreasonable to think 'the ick' is a real thing and once it happens the relationship is doomed?

Has anyone else experienced this? What is the reason behind 'the ick'? Why does it usually seem to happen with people who tick all the boxes?

I can't lie, i sometimes read posts on the relationship boards where the OP will say their partner has suddenly said they want out. Whilst everyone else is shouting 'OW' i think to myself maybe they've just got 'the ick?'

Don't fret broken, he had plenty of friends and certainly wasn't isolated and lonely.

It has been pointed out before that the ick is more likely a symptom that the relationship isn't working, than the cause.

But people can dump anyone for any reason. It's not good for anyone's mental health to force themselves to stay with people they don't want to.

Let me guess, are you a bit lonely broken

This thread is sensitive reading for men I'd imagine. I wouldn't want to read a thread that was full to the brim with guys describing the ick about women. It would make me paranoid. Big time.

Step away Broken.

I work in a small office with two men and I was telling them about this thread. One said he has never had the ick (but now thinks previous partners may have got it with him, based on sudden break ups ). The other said he has definitely had it and broke up with a woman when he couldn't even stand the sound of her voice anymore.

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@springydaff
Too right
It’s made me paranoid and worse has made me think that if ever my relationship with my partner of 22yrs broke down, I’d never approach another woman ever again.
I never realised we men were so judged, yet if we judge a woman we are classed as shallow or insensitive.

May I, there is absolutely nothing more repulsive than kissing a woman with make up on, the taste is grim...luckily my partner never swears make up...not ever. I can’t imagine the horror of waking up with someone who looks nothing like she did the night before, or having to wait for hours whilst she puts on her “mask”

Ok, I’ve said my piece, I’m off......

Doesn't bother me, there are loads of threads over on Reddit about the opposite perspective. They don't make me paranoid.
I was really enjoying this thread, hope it returns to being light-heartedly hilarious as it was before 02.35 this morning.

I had the 'ick' with a guy because I visualised in my head he would probably do scrappy do paws in a fight. No idea where it came from but I couldn't get it out my head at all. Ended it with him. Didn't lay eyes on him again for 30 years. He's now my current FWB and no matter how hard I try, I can't imagine him doing scrappy do paws in a fight!

Bless the over sensitive male- is definitely get the ick 👀😆

Bless the over sensitive male- is definitely get the ick 👀😆. I actually hope men do the same, would make me feel less of a monster!

Occasionally I think of him when I open the compost bin.

This is the stuff of dreams 😂

This thread was a lot of fun but seems to have taken a serious turn which is disappointing, hope it gets back on track!

For the posters not happy with this thread or who are feeling dejected, pop over to the companion Phwoar thread.

Lots of us have posted on both balancing it up.

Sagradafamiliar

Can you post the Reddit link please? I’d love to read it!

He asked me a few questions - did I do x, y, z - including, did I sleep with my bed against the wall. I did. He advised me to stop as some spiders when they become active at night can crawl from the wall into the bed, seeking warmth and dark. Then if you roll they perceive you as attacking and bite

Ah man, I really wish I hadnt read that.

I've employed some careful selective reading on this thread gamer 😉

Guy I recently had a few dates with, questionable breath, not horrific but not great, told me that one night, he couldn’t get to sleep and by 3am was starving! He got up, had a big chunk of cheese and a bovril then went back to bed and finally to sleep.

Total ick set in and couldn’t go back after that!

I've employed some careful selective reading on this thread gamer

Some just slip past I think. I'm never going to unsee that

@Patroclus

I know a lot of men who find the cutesy baby talk thing some women do completely repellant actually.

Yep. It's very annoying. So are men who talk in a special high voice to their young children. To me it sounds fake.

But it's not full-on ick. I've only had that with people I find sexually very unattractive from first sight- so quite different from the anecdotes here.

DW gives me serious ick when she unconsciously uses the same mannerisms as her mother, but it's only fleeting.

I'm definitely a 'nice guy' within the meaning of this thread, so it's been interesting reading - DW has never said so but she definitely gets keener on me when I behave old-fashioned manly, so perhaps there is a link.

@TomPinch
And there you have it. That, I believe, is the nub of the whole thread.
'Old fashioned manly' is attractive.
Anything that deviates too much from that gives us the ick!

It happened me, I called for the guy at home and he came down the stairs after a shower and his hair was CURLY. I did not know because he had always styled it. Instantly it was over and I couldn't get away fast enough. It's a biology thing, I have curly hair myself and didn't like that part of myself so it must have repelled me.
I'm not a runner, but I ran then. How could I explain that? I didn't like something in him that I have myself. It makes no sense but there was no other way, I have very strong instincts and I had to follow them.

The pettiest "ick" I've experienced was from a teenage boyfriend who, upon seeing a squirrel in the park, rubbed his fingers together and made a "tch tch" noise with his tongue like he was summoning a cat. I can still feel the irrational rage! It's a wild animal, not a pet!

I used to go out with someone who referred to his extended family as 'the Rels" - this gave me the ick.