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to share the things my BIL has moaned about whilst staying at our house for the past 3 days?

629 replies

BanKittenHeels · 15/09/2019 15:50

Amazon Prime Video doesn’t have the new Quentin Tarantino film that has just come out at the cinema. Ergo Amazon Prime is a waste of money.

The shower screen in the guest bathroom has a stationary rather than hinged shower screen.

That someone used the loo in the middle of the night and he could hear them flush - his bedroom door was 3/4 open.

We have stair gates, so our children don’t break their necks. “Really inconvenient”

The Thai restaurant sent us too many prawn crackers. They sent an appropriate amount for the number of people, actually.

My deodorant is blue. And what?

We don’t have an endless supply of spare clothes in his size and to his taste.

His hair was still in the shower in his en suite when he went back to use it the next day.

The towels I put out for him are white.

Our front gate is too squeaky.

The planes overhead are too low.

We have too many rugs.

He can hear traffic when in the garden.

Our dogs won’t cuddle him.

Our children wear shorts.

The settings of the seats in the car we lent him weren’t to his liking.

He doesn’t like the preset radio stations on our car radio.

My DH (his brother) “doesn’t wear a hat”??????

We don’t have his very specific music taste available to him on vinyl, although we did think to search out appropriate Spotify playlists for him but “that’s not quite the same authenticity”.

The local swimming pool (in a large city) keeps “provincial, British hours”.

Microwave steamers are “excessive gadgets”. Then 30 minutes later, “I suppose you could steam veg in your steamer, have you thought of that?” No shit!

None of the 3 duvets we offered him were suitable.

I use my inhaler too frequently.

Why do I have rosehip oil in the bathroom, it’s of no use to anyone.

Confused HmmAngry

OP posts:
TheFreaksShallInheritTheEarth · 16/09/2019 20:38

Is he on the autistic spectrum?

Is he on home leave from a "hospital"?

This thread is mostly great fun, but can we lay off the ignorant autism and mental ill health jokes, please? Angry

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 16/09/2019 20:39

If he’d won a million pounds on the lottery he’d be complaining that it wasn’t two million.

It's all very well for you to make fun of it, but don't you realise that he would only actually have won £999,998.00 as you don't even get your stake back. That fact alone would completely ruin such a win for me; imagine: can't even call yourself a millionaire, stupid, lousy, thieving lottery.... Grin

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 16/09/2019 20:41

Bold fail - what a useless website, keyboard, word formatting system, server, week....

tillytrotter1 · 16/09/2019 20:41

oh my god TillyTrotter I know a german exactly like that. Are there lots of them?

If he were German I could understand his favouring all things German but he's not!!!

Petlover9 · 16/09/2019 20:42

I will back up @Princesshoneysuckle. Actually I would just tell him to bog off

Cherrysoup · 16/09/2019 20:44

This guy has a wife? Seriously? I bet if you cut her open she is full of wires and circuit boards.

PMSL! 😂

OP, you’re doing brilliantly!

icanclearabuffet · 16/09/2019 20:53

@BanKittenHeels just wanted to say,after a crap day at work this cheered me up and made me howl with laughter.
It's also reminded me there is no pleasing some people and I really needed to hear that today!
I hope you're family crisis is resolved swiftly and life brightens up for you soon😊

Witchwobbleknees · 16/09/2019 20:54

Is he on the spectrum? Certainly sounds that way.

cloudspotter · 16/09/2019 21:01

You sound like a Saint for putting up with him.

I'd probably use humour in this situation and start calling him Victor Meldrew.

Although it sounds like he might not get the cultural reference though. Perhaps put on repeat episodes of "One Foot in the Grave" to watch as a family?

Vivianebrookskoviak · 16/09/2019 21:04

He sounds like a hipster to be honest.

Get him booked into a hotel asap. Or if he's left tell him next time to book into a hotel.

I'm a moaner at time but there's stuff on that list even outside of my imagination and I wouldn't when staying with someone!!!!!

I have very specific music tastes but that one just blows me away!!!!!!
Definite hipster!!!!!!
He's not a millennial is he? Grin

L0xie · 16/09/2019 21:04

He’s lucky to still be alive !

sunshineskys · 16/09/2019 21:07

You have 48 hours to change the locks - do it!

Craftycorvid · 16/09/2019 21:18

I’m laughing very inappropriately at this!

Ask him if he found that pea under the mattress... if the moon will be ok on that size stick....(pea would be the wrong sort, moon have too many craters).

RightYesButNo · 16/09/2019 21:27

@BanKittenHeels OP, so sorry to hear about the family crisis and hope all goes well. But you’re doing a damn good job of getting through it with humour.

Also just in case you DO decide you can stand it no longer - like 500 other MNers, I’ve cleared my calendar so I’m available to testify at the inquest that you were with all of us when he somehow fell under a patio. Grin

His last words? “I don’t like the color of these patio tiles.”

highheelsandbobblehats · 16/09/2019 21:31

you don't even get your stake back

Surely not?!

user1493391099 · 16/09/2019 21:49

It wasn’t a joke, I was asking a serious question.

ThatssomebadhatHarry · 16/09/2019 21:53

Make his Christmas card this year with an image of Scrooge on a typewriter writing all the complaints out. (His actual complaints)

musketeers123 · 16/09/2019 22:15

Bury him ... patio... garden hedge ... nearest lake/pond ...

justilou1 · 16/09/2019 22:16

Best thread ever!!! I have laughed so much I have learned that my pelvic floor isn’t as bad as I thought. (Phew...) In total agreement with people who think goats are banging! Totally in love with this little guy! (The goat, not the dude....)
Meanwhile, as the weather has “warmed up” here in Australia and the door-knocking God-Botherers have been parking in my street and unloading their convoys and sharing their little children out amongst their herds to use as wholesome bait to guilt-trip the softies (like me) into giving them the time of day. I am going to get @MadeleineMaxwell’s motivational poster printed onto cards to hand out to the grownups as I give the kids glasses of water and sunscreen (often their parents don’t “believe” in sunscreen... GRRR!) while threatening to call social services. So perfect for this purpose, thank you!!!

MrsCplus · 16/09/2019 22:22

I'm place marking for Friday!

Crackery · 16/09/2019 22:25

@Coffeeandchocolate9 the alphabetti spaghetti complaint made me choke on my gin. This might be my favourite thread ever in my 16 yrs on MN!!

Tinkerbell1980 · 16/09/2019 22:29

You need to make this more fun for you, make bingo cards with all kinds of things he could possibly complain about, get yourself a bingo dabber and try and best your DH to a line/house! You could be a big cheaty and draw his attention to the things in your card.....and wait for the moaning ti begin Grin
Bitchy bingo is born Wine

Tinkerbell1980 · 16/09/2019 22:31

*beat your DH and be a ^^bit cheaty

Sorry, got a bit overexcited Blush

TaskMistress · 16/09/2019 22:39

Forget the hole's being offered OP, go for the pigs- very hard to convict without a body.

joanne2020 · 16/09/2019 22:40

Tomorrow it will be ‘the clouds are the wrong shape’

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