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to share the things my BIL has moaned about whilst staying at our house for the past 3 days?

629 replies

BanKittenHeels · 15/09/2019 15:50

Amazon Prime Video doesn’t have the new Quentin Tarantino film that has just come out at the cinema. Ergo Amazon Prime is a waste of money.

The shower screen in the guest bathroom has a stationary rather than hinged shower screen.

That someone used the loo in the middle of the night and he could hear them flush - his bedroom door was 3/4 open.

We have stair gates, so our children don’t break their necks. “Really inconvenient”

The Thai restaurant sent us too many prawn crackers. They sent an appropriate amount for the number of people, actually.

My deodorant is blue. And what?

We don’t have an endless supply of spare clothes in his size and to his taste.

His hair was still in the shower in his en suite when he went back to use it the next day.

The towels I put out for him are white.

Our front gate is too squeaky.

The planes overhead are too low.

We have too many rugs.

He can hear traffic when in the garden.

Our dogs won’t cuddle him.

Our children wear shorts.

The settings of the seats in the car we lent him weren’t to his liking.

He doesn’t like the preset radio stations on our car radio.

My DH (his brother) “doesn’t wear a hat”??????

We don’t have his very specific music taste available to him on vinyl, although we did think to search out appropriate Spotify playlists for him but “that’s not quite the same authenticity”.

The local swimming pool (in a large city) keeps “provincial, British hours”.

Microwave steamers are “excessive gadgets”. Then 30 minutes later, “I suppose you could steam veg in your steamer, have you thought of that?” No shit!

None of the 3 duvets we offered him were suitable.

I use my inhaler too frequently.

Why do I have rosehip oil in the bathroom, it’s of no use to anyone.

Confused HmmAngry

OP posts:
sashh · 16/09/2019 09:45

@Bookworm

if you freeze the body first it is virtually impossible to find as long as

a) you don't leave IDon the body and b)you don't hire it in your own name with a credit card.

Ghostontoast · 16/09/2019 09:47

What’s the chance his wife will message she doesn’t want him to come back!

narkedinNI · 16/09/2019 09:53

My ex husband was like this. He could make misery out of the most joyous occasion and find fault with the most mundane. The final straw for me was when he had had a suspected heart attack and was in hospital and complaining that the life-saving drip was dripping too slowly. He then complained that the ambulance journey hadn't been smooth enough because the tarmac on the road was too lumpy. I knew at that point that he was going to live and that I couldn't stand it anymore.

Brefugee · 16/09/2019 10:13

the OP reminded me of Things My Girlfriend And I Have Argued About from waaaay back when the internet was in its infancy.

And also Skippy's List

I hope the OP also achieves Internet Notariety.

PommePoire · 16/09/2019 10:55

Zoidbergonthehalfshell Blush

It now occurs to me (modestly) that a steadfast refusal to allow the disrespect of one's brisket is pretty much a guide for life ...

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff your dad and his painfully literal interpretation of the delightful flight of fancy which is The Giant Jam Sandwich! Shock How does he cope with figuring out how 50 entirely separate domestic, freestanding kitchen cookers wheeled into an 'old, brick mill', with no obvious gas or electricity laid on, could bake a single humungous loaf?

SingingLily · 16/09/2019 11:21

Look on the bright side, OP. You are giving his wife a much-needed break. The poor woman must be at her wits' end. Even now, she's probably scouring his contacts list looking for other family she can encourage him to visit. No need for him to hurry home, none at all....Smile

Confusedbeetle · 16/09/2019 11:23

Hilarious and incredible

CloudRusting · 16/09/2019 11:38

I couldn’t live with this. But I think going at the “you’re clearly not enjoying your stay” angle won’t work because it sounds like someone who thinks lots of negative thoughts and then has no filter between thoughts and mouth. And so is probably actually enjoying the stay so this just won’t compute.

Instead I’d be explaining clearly that the constant complaints makes everyone else in the house miserable and unappreciated and that it means you do not enjoy him visiting. And that you’d appreciate him stopping criticising everything. That may actually make him stop and think.

BanKittenHeels · 16/09/2019 12:00

I don’t think I’m a mug at all. The man is a bag of knob sauce with regards this stupid moaning but he’s a good uncle. He’s incredibly frustrating but has in the past gone out of his way to help us.

I’ve cut people out of my life or asked people to leave my home before, I’m not adverse to confrontation or standing my ground. But this would be like having an argument with someone for having a glass of water. The man is 40, he isn’t going to change, this is the only way he knows how to be.

We have been firm with him. Both DH and I have told him he is being a prat.

We will have him back on Thursday (along with other family) because we are living through a family crisis. I just reserve the right to laugh at him.
This thread wasn’t really about wanting rid of him, if was about laughing at how utterly ridiculous he is.

I could give the man a million pounds and he would moan that I gave it to him bank notes because coins are more authentic. He’s a pranny.

Re the blue deodorant. It’s just a regular Sure deodorant. The packaging is white with blue detail, the product inside isn’t actually blue.

OP posts:
GlamGiraffe · 16/09/2019 12:01

Spare clothing option suggestion:
Custom T- shirt printed with 'Warning- world's biggest misery' on front and back.

I think we need a photo of this man in order to avoid!😉

AgeingDurannie · 16/09/2019 12:03

@CherryCheezcake .... that's awesome... I'm saving that for future use....

highheelsandbobblehats · 16/09/2019 12:12

Ah, so you should have pink deodorant because you're a girl? Glad you've told him what a prat he is and that you can laugh at what sounds like difficult time.

ThatCurlyGirl · 16/09/2019 12:17

@BanKittenHeels

I could give the man a million pounds and he would moan that I gave it to him bank notes because coins are more authentic. He’s a pranny.

OP can I come stay with you coz I think I love you a little bit!

PippiDeLena · 16/09/2019 12:22

53narkedinNI

I knew at that point that he was going to live and that I couldn't stand it anymore.

Grin
BanKittenHeels · 16/09/2019 12:24

narkedinNI I just roared at your post. 😂

OP posts:
ssd · 16/09/2019 12:27

I feel sorry for you but this is better than the telly Grin

narkedinNI · 16/09/2019 12:31

Barked and Pippi if someone else had told me this I would have laughed too. Towards the end when he came into the same room as me my hackles would literally rise, he just had such a negative presence. He went on to have several heart attacks which he claimed were caused by stress from the NHS Hmm I don't think he intended to be so picky/negative, he seemed to be programmed to find fault. He ruined many a day that was supposed to be memorable but ended up being so for all of the wrong reasons.

bananasaidso · 16/09/2019 12:31

May be just may be he is moaning/whinging/complaining 50% of the time and rest of 50% of the time he is trying to be amusing and funny...like dry or dark humour?

SistersOfMerci · 16/09/2019 12:32

He's only 40 and he's already a perennial, moaning bellend?

Christ what will he be like with another 20 years practice.

I can't be doing with those tat complain about everything and anything, he'd be sent to the shed to sleep and given the hosepipe to shower with.

This is why we don't have family to stay, I'd end up caving someone's head in, they all know there's a travel lodge and a premier inn up the road.

mbosnz · 16/09/2019 12:33

I've got a mental image of *@narkedinNI * breaking into inconsolable tears when she was told the prognosis was good. . .

BanKittenHeels · 16/09/2019 12:34

Forgot to say when he left this morning he moaned that

  1. We don’t have chickens.
  2. Our dogs like balls too much.
  3. The road was wet.
Grin
OP posts:
narkedinNI · 16/09/2019 12:44

I've got a mental image of @narkedinNI breaking into inconsolable tears when she was told the prognosis was good. . .

I actually felt momentarily gutted, which made me realize how bad things had got Blush

*Forgot to say when he left this morning he moaned that

  1. We don’t have chickens*

When we argued about his moaning/negativity he said one of the reasons was because we didn't have pet goats. We never had a garden so I'm not sure where he wanted to put them. Apparently they would have made him feel much better about life Hmm

PommePoire · 16/09/2019 12:45
  1. We don’t have chickens.

Oh my God, BanKittenHeels Why don't you have chickens? WHY?
SO unreasonable, SO selfish and inconsiderate.

Wink
PommePoire · 16/09/2019 12:50

Cross posted with you narkedinNI

Yes, not having goats is also utterly unforgivable. If only you'd had a couple of the omnivorous, yellow-devil-eyed, skittish and insatiable terrors that are goats, your ex-DH's inability to appreciate the National Health Service, ambulances and indeed the value of LIFE ITSELF would have been miraculously cured!

ThatCurlyGirl · 16/09/2019 12:51

@BanKittenHeels

1. We don’t have chickens.
2. Our dogs like balls too much.
3. The road was wet.

He just gets better and better! I can't believe you didn't stop the rain, what a shit host Wink

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