To think I might actually die trying to sort out DM's iPhone?

[TreacherousPissFlap]

DM has a new phone, she's very pleased with it.
The very nice man in the shop told her all her settings would "follow her over" to her new phone. Her settings have not followed her over
It now appears that DM has no less than three different FB accounts. I assumed she was changing profile pictures, turns out she was just logged into different accounts of the same name. This also explains her indignation that people have not replied to her messages.
She does not know her AppleID and appears to have locked it to DSDads fingerprint- sadly he died two years ago so is not really being much help.
Any requests for passwords are met with blank looks, as if it's an utterly outlandish thing to request.

We recently paid for my mum to have 'the internet' installed.

She has one of my old phones, an old tablet from my cousin, a kindle reader and a firestick.

In the last 12 months she has 'broken google', broken her kindle, locked herself out of the tablet, has 3 fb accounts and still can't send photos (which is a blessing).

She phoned me hysterically crying when her kindle broke. I had to go immediately and mend it because she was 3/4 of the way through Martina Coles newest book. Apparently me saying she knew how it ended, cos the bad brother always ends up dead, some gangsters mrs runs away and the rest of them get a long stretch while the hero walks away with the million quid of drug money wasn't helping.

It wasn't even broken, just had crashed halfway through doing an update because she turns the fucking broadband off when she goes to bed.

And don't even get me started on having it installed.

'Mum, someone is coming at 10am on Wednesday to put the internet on for you'

'Ok, lovely'

1pm
'I still don't have internet, I need to meet auntie sandra at 2pm, can you find out when he's coming?'

Me, after 45 mins contacting talktalk.

'Mum, they say someone's been already, at 9.30am'

'Yes, Darren came and left me a box thing and some cards and an information pack, but I got a text saying he would be here at 10am after he had gone, so I thought he was coming back'.

'Mum, did he plug a little box thing in with little lights?'

'Yes, and he did some stuff with my phone, and that ipad (its a Samsung tablet but we let her call it an ipad) and my kindle but he hasn't been back yet'.

'Mum, turn your ipad on, can you google stuff from your ipad?'

Can hear mum going 'hello google, google can you find cute kitten videos?'

'Oh it's working, does that mean I have internet now?'

And then the firestick broke, she had knocked it out a bit dusting. And a million other tech malfunctions that she is always hysterical abaout because she can't live without internet now, cos she can catch up on her soaps if she misses stuff. Sigh.

My m and d recently had some internet connectivity issues, after 30 minutes they declared they’d have to move (a house they’ve lived in for 40 years!) as it was unthinkable to live without it! how would they get Alexa to tell them the weather (they have a home pod with Siri- a fact I have to remind them every time they call to tell me Alexa isn’t working!)
Seems in the middle of the night they shout to her and ask her the time so they don’t have to turn a light on to look (despite having a phone/s on the bedside. Honestly. They are a nightmare.

I feel so much better about my ineptitude now! When I want a new app on my phone (very rare!) I let DD2 do it, as she appears to have been born knowing how all this works. She does sometimes roll her eyes at me, but I remind her that I taught her how to wipe her arse, so she needn't get on her high horse! She works for Sky, so if we are a bit stuck with something not working on that, we call her.

The till at work is a completely useless object and I am sure our lovely IT guy cringes when he sees our number come up on the phone when the bloody thing has crashed again! I know to switch it off and on again, but that frequently does not help anything and it is not the best thing to do when you only have one till in your tiny shop.

DF was a nightmare with his mobile phone. He never switched the bloody thing on and I had written a full A4 page of instructions on how to use the bloody thing, as I literally had to draw pictures and do every single step. He also had a thing about pressing his emergency care alarm when someone came to visit if they hadn't seen it in action. I'm sure the people on the other end absolutely hated him!

@Frouby this. Is amazing. “she turns the fucking broadband off when she goes to bed”

OP we feel your pain!

I feel your pain!!

My dad (70+) was ace at tech, had the latest phone, iPad etc. sadly he's no longer with us.
Mum still has his iPad which is in need of replacing. All she does on it (after a zillion hours of tutoring from me) is read emails and look at online banking to make sure nobody has taken her money. She can't do any transactions or send an email (she's too old apparently!)
For weeks she would turn her phone off until she needed it because it would save credit if it was switched off
Every time she asks me to check her iPad as it's crashed again she has a million tabs open all for the bank website.
She says she would happily but a new iPad but then her bank won't be on the new one.

I said mum, if you want to read about something, just type it in Google.She loves corrie so I said she could read about that.
'oh no' she says, I might press the wrong button and they might spy on me

After dad died she knew no passwords at all, that was a fun week

This has to go in classics. DS keeps asking why I'm laughing!
God knows what will happen when my dad dies. I'll be in the same boat. I gave DM an iPhone and he said he'd kill me 😂😂😂
I gave her lessons though, a bit at a time. She's fine with it

I've suggested internet banking (currently she takes the bus for 90 minutes to town to "do her banking") but she's heard of the Eastern European's who hide in the internet and steal peoples money- she's not going to be fooled like that, no sir.

I have installed ApplePay for her so goodness knows how that will work out. Next time we visit we could find she's ordered a group of Brazilian dancing girls or an electric rice cooker

complicated a doro can be.

That's what my granddad has then he sits on it and sends me 200 messages

I've taken note of all my Nan's passwords to prevent this situation. It has saved me so much time, as I used to spend ages faffing around with her devices. Good luck getting the phone up and running.

My mum has a book full of passwords and dates. It still doesn't work.

Her banking though, it worked fine until my sister put a password on it for security. Now no one can see what's going on and she has to go into the bank for everything.

She pays £5/month for her account but it comes with a load of features like a 'nice lady at the bank who you go and see and she helps you with your cards and things'. Bargain.

Seems in the middle of the night they shout to her [Alexa] and ask her the time so they don’t have to turn a light on to look

Dying. What if the other one is asleep?!

This is giving me PTSD flashbacks of trying to teach my gran how to download pictures from her digital camera to the PC. She had a Kodak dock, so you just sat the camera on the dock, pressed the one giant button on the front of the dock and it would automatically download the pictures to computer. Seems easy enough right? No.

Every single time she wanted to download pictures I had to go there to help, but she wouldn't let me do it for her because she 'had to learn' for herself, except it had been 4 years and, even though she had step by step instructions written down in a special notebook, what should have been a 2 minute job turned into a 45 minute session of "oh bloody hell, where's that gone now?" And (angrily) "well that's not what it says in my notes!" while I tried not to scream in frustration. You wrote the notes!

Op You have my sympathy. On all fronts from my df and sm to mum and apple technology

My Mum tells everyone she has an iPad (no she doesn't) and didn't realise she could use her ancient laptop in the garden until last year.

My mum has no interest in learning about tech. She wants to use it, but can't be bothered to learn.

Got a VCR when she was in her early 50s. Never bothered to learn how to use that. I rang her one evening having forgotten to set it to record to have her come running back to the phone asking “Which way round does it go in?” For those too young to remember VCRs, you could only put the tape in one way.

Bought her a simple mobile. She could never remember how to use it and would go up to strangers to ask. The one time it was useful (I was on a delayed train and kept texting her updates) she decided to believe the station updates rather than my “We're just pulling into the station right now” message, and left me waiting at the far end of a platform for half an hour with a huge pile of stuff (end of uni year).

She loves messaging, but likes to be contacted by all various means. She'd moan that her ‘little men’ hadn't had a message, despite me talking to her on the phone and emailing her the day before.

She once got very cross with me as her mouse wasn't working properly and I couldn’t fix the problem over the phone at a distance of 400 miles. Almost slammed the phone down on me. She'd figured it out by the next day - she'd had the mouse the wrong way round so the buttons were under her palm, hence the cursor kept moving in the wrong direction. Stupid me for not figuring that one out!

I bought her a Fire a few years ago, which she was surprisingly ok with. A friend of hers persuaded her to upgrade to an iPad. I decided he could do tech support for her if he was going to make her switch systems. Life is not bliss!

My husband isn't even that old and every morning he says "turn on radio 2 Alexa" and then wonders why it doesn't work.

I've remembered another one. My Grandma has a phone, but won't switch it on when she is out unless she needs to call someone. Doesn't matter that someone may need to contact her, it's only for her to contact us.

Apparently my Grandpa nearly had a panic attack worrying about her one evening a couple of years ago when the roads were flooding here and he couldn't get hold of her as she didn't have her phone on!

Oh I've got another my granddad only tops up here and there and he topped up £20 and kept drop calling people to call back very advanced there! To save credit well because he rarely used the phone after a certain amount of time had passed he through the phone away as it had stolen he's credit and deactivated his number it had been two years and he still thought he had his £20 credit

My parents don’t even have the internet.

If they want to use it they go to the library which is a good 20 minutes drive away.

I cannot send my DM anything as she can’t download anything because she only gets 3G. She still posts me cheques as she doesn’t do internet banking.

My techie brother has only in the last few years persuaded our parents that the internet doesn’t need to be unplugged at bedtime.
They also have an iPad that is referred to by its nickname. They are so in love with this iPad that they don’t make voice calls to me anymore. Instead, my mam FaceTimes me her nostrils on a regular basis and then panics when she can’t hang up on me 😀

Every time we visit my parents I “have a look” at my dad’s laptop. I used to secure his files as he once suffered the traumatic loss of all of his data. I finally set up iCloud syncing for him after explaining it a bazillion times. Last time we visited iCloud syncing was gone as his friend down the pub said it was useless and unnecessary and it had messed up all of his careful filing. This from the man who still doesn’t know what document folders are.

He swings from thinking I am a bit useless with computers because I can’t fix problems over the phone to thinking I’m a computer genius because I can use sums in excel...

@anitagreen 😀

My father liked the idea of a mobile until the first time his £20 credit disappeared , having not been used for years. Sigh .

@FinallyHere I'm so glad it's not just him he still thinks phones are cons now

@Figmentofimagination

Neither DM or PILs have their mobiles switched on. Ever. Because it’s for their convenience, not because someone might need to contact them (like, are you actually coming to stay with us tonight and if so, what time are you arriving?)

DM is supposed to take her mobile with her when she goes out in case she has a problem (she is notorious for falling over and breaking things). It lives in a drawer and is always out of charge.

My late father could never understand texts.

He could have a conversation on someone else's mobile, if they dialled the number for him, got through and then handed the phone to him to carry on the conversation, but texting utterly confused him.

He'd ask where someone was, the person he was with would send a text to the person they were both waiting for, the person dad was with would relay the reply and dad would ask

"When did they say that?"

"Just now."

"I didn't hear you call him"

"I texted him"

"When?"

"Just now"

Then would come a lecture about playing on our phones too long.

Internet enabled phones utterly confounded him, but were a good thing when ordering building materials from Screwfix, Toolstation, Selco etc.

"It just turned up the next morning, just when he said it would!"

Dad would be thrilled every time, it was like some miracle occurred.

EVERY time.

We got her pissed managed to persuade her to get (yet another) a new FB account

There's little hope really. She sidled up to me earlier to ask whether her brand new top of the range iPhone could still take photos