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To think I might actually die trying to sort out DM's iPhone?

277 replies

TreacherousPissFlap · 05/07/2019 18:17

DM has a new phone, she's very pleased with it.
The very nice man in the shop told her all her settings would "follow her over" to her new phone. Her settings have not followed her over Hmm
It now appears that DM has no less than three different FB accounts. I assumed she was changing profile pictures, turns out she was just logged into different accounts of the same name. This also explains her indignation that people have not replied to her messages.
She does not know her AppleID and appears to have locked it to DSDads fingerprint- sadly he died two years ago so is not really being much help.
Any requests for passwords are met with blank looks, as if it's an utterly outlandish thing to request.

OP posts:
MorrisZapp · 08/07/2019 11:36

My dad hates talking on the phone so texting and now WhatsApping have been a godsend for him, he does relevant emojis and everything.

Social media, not so much. They don't want to be 'public' so the Facebook account is in the cat's name. They are convinced that 'people you may know' is basically your mates turning up uninvited and rubbing their faces on your window.

But we didn't ASK them!

I work in a public building with signs all over it saying please don't use your mobile phone. Ringtones go off every ten minutes or so and retirees look round in fury until they realise its their bag making the noise. Fury turns to indignation when they can't turn the blasted thing off. They are absolutely the victim of this.

DailyMailcanFuckRightOff · 08/07/2019 11:41

FiL genuinely believes he is a tech expert and will insist on buying all the latest gadgets which he cannot use at all. We get called to their house at least once a week to sort out the terrible problems that the devices are causing. He’ll regularly hark back to the days of XP, which was the best software ever produced and Microsoft have continuously shot themselves in the foot since then by trying to improve things when they should have realised they had achieved perfection and stopped there. He also talks about the amazing desktop computer he bought in 1993 – he was an early adopter of technology you see and the first person he knew to have internet installed in his house). The trouble is, he kept that desktop, along with its dial-up broadband until 2011 when he was finally persuaded that it was old tech and he should upgrade. Since then, he’s had two laptops which have caused no end of trouble and he now refuses to even open them as he’s scared they will catch a virus. Honestly I’ve never known a man so susceptible to computer hacks and viruses, everything that could possibly have gone wrong with these laptops has done and, of course, this would never have happened with his trusty old desktop.

He doesn’t trust the internet, believing by default that if anything is published online is automatically fake news because the internet is written by kids having a laugh. So even if he sees something incredibly basic and in most people’s general knowledge like, say, the capital of France is Paris, he’ll hum and haw about how there might be a trick going on somewhere. His arguments with Alexa are something to behold. This obviously begs the question why he is so determined to own so many tech devices and be so connected at all and the only answer I can find is that it is about keeping up with the Joneses and showing that he can afford these things, pretending he can use them(!) and is therefore better than his peers.

He has an iphone (obviously) but frequently deletes his favourite apps, including the internet or his email app which causes panic and an emergency visit to reinstall things. Recently he had to complete an online questionnaire for travel insurance and didn’t know how to “put a cross (X) next to applicable answers”. We had to go round to help him and explain that there is no special X symbol for this purpose. The letter X is the same as any other X but he was still sceptical – how would the insurance company know that he meant to put a cross and not simply a letter X. This could completely muck up his insurance. Around the same time, MiL was having an issue with booking flights online because the computer had deleted her email address. Turned out she was receiving an error message saying she had input an incorrect email address and this was because she had used commas instead of full stops (MiL,2@gmail,com). She still shakes her head in disbelief, laughing about how the internet is supposed to be so clever and yet couldn’t work this out, I mean, commas and full stops are basically the same thing. They are in awe of our ability to solve these problems and tell everyone that I have “a very high up job in computers”. I don’t work in IT at all.

A few weeks ago, he called us in a panic because his bank account had been hacked. He was obviously angry that he had lost money (£2k!) but was more worried that the same thing would happen to us because we have far less money to start with than him (he can afford to lose with £2k without losing sleep). DH and I asked him to talk us through what happened and he said they received a call from the bank on their landline, saying there was a computer virus which was affecting their bank account so they dutifully followed the man’s instructions, logging into their bank account online and telling him their password and account details. They then watched their balance change in real time as the nice man made a test payment to them of £2 to check the connection was there but then when he reversed that, he must have made a mistake because he removed £2000 rather than just the £2. The nice man reassured him that everything was ok and it would get sorted but it make take a few days. FiL wanted to know exactly when he would see the money back in his account because he’s not in the habit of opening the laptop every day. He only switches it on when he really needs to because otherwise viruses get it, don’t you know. Because the man couldn’t give him a definite date and time to check again, MiL decided to phone their local branch from her mobile to see if they could provide an answer . They obviously told them to hang up the call immediately and froze their account, telling them they almost lost a hell of a lot more than £2k. What really confused us about this story is that PiL have both been vocally opposed to online banking over the years and said they would never sign up to such a thing. When we questioned this, FiL said that of course he doesn’t do online banking. He just has an app that lets him check his balance from the laptop but he would never do online banking. He also believes that throughout this saga, the laptop was the thing at fault. The hack had nothing at all to do with him giving away his personal details, it was because the laptop was too easy to break into (and this would never have happened with the old desktop). He then got really paranoid that the hackers would still be in his laptop and going through all his photos so he deleted everything and threw the laptop away. He’s now replaced it with a Samsung Galaxy Tab but has still got that app which is definitely not online banking but allows him to look at his account balances.

Tadpoletofrog · 08/07/2019 11:48

My folks won’t entertain the idea of internet banking at all. They also won’t make any purchases online so no Amazon, no booking tickets. They are more than happy for me to do this with my credit card though! I often get calls asking me to book stuff or order something, I then get given the cash the next time I’m around.

My dad won’t use cash machines either, but is okay with getting cash back at the local shop. Can’t see the logic in that.

Tadpoletofrog · 08/07/2019 11:53

My parents also think I am an IT genius because I use a laptop for work. They don’t get that it came fully set up with all the software, my email was given to me and we have an excellent IT helpdesk, which I use regularly, as I am really no good with IT at all.
They think I should be able to solve all their IT problems but I am pretty useless. Especially as their laptop uses the new Windows system and I am still on the older version.

ICantBelieveIDidThis · 08/07/2019 13:52

I work on a switchboard in a hospital.

People dial out and leave voicemail messages, but this has often confused pensioners, who can't hear very well, didn't know their mobile number was known to others and have no idea why anyone in the hospital would call them.

Days after the message was left, I have often had people on a landline trying to play voicemail messages from their mobiles to me.

Trying to get them to understand Speakerphone is an uphill struggle.

"It's a little button that looks like a megaphone!"

"IT'S. A. LITTLE. SYMBOL. THAT. LOOKS. LIKE. A. MEGAPHONE!!!"

"Did you hear it that time?"

"If it was important, they'll ring again"

Zaphodsotherhead · 08/07/2019 14:35

It's not limited to the older generation. My friend is younger than me (he's early fifties). Won't have internet banking, won't use ATMs, very hesitant about online shopping. Because 'they' are spying on him, you know.

Really it's because he's no idea how any of it works and, being a control freak, he really can't handle that!

worstofbothworlds · 08/07/2019 18:17

I've watched her sit at her computer and type www.google.co.uk then when she's got to Google she's searched for the name of the website she wants to visit
My students do this. Digital natives my arse.

YesQueen · 08/07/2019 18:38

My dad is pretty decent with tech as in he has Spotify etc etc but sometimes he baffles me
Dad "Where will you get those screws from? You could try going to Wickes but it'll be closed now"
Me "well there's this thing called the internet. I'll type the name in, send them pennies and a nice person will deliver them to my door"
My dad "you're not too old for a smack you know, and sarcasm is vulgar"
GrinGrinGrin

TreacherousPissFlap · 08/07/2019 22:30

morriszapp, this thread has been an amazing tonic to my mothers new phone woes (I actually put her passcode into my phone today, that's how often I've unlocked the fecking thing over the weekend) but your DP's naming their FB profile after the cat for security reasons had me absolutely howling.

It's probably hysteria bought on by stress Grin

OP posts:
Strawberrycreamsundae · 09/07/2019 08:55

Thankfully my very elderly parents have never attempted to embrace modern technology; they can just about manage the washing machine and tv. My DH however thinks he knows everything about technology and frequently ends up in a pickle. It took the guy in CarphoneWarehouse 45 minutes to sort out his basic android phone last week (I absolutely refuse to get involved anymore!) because it had frozen.
He had every email, text, What's App and search since he bought the phone 6years ago. Nothing had ever been deleted, plus he had random apps that he swears he didn't download 😡😕
It actually works very well now!

reddA · 09/07/2019 18:53

My brother visited my sadly departed granny and wanting to save his phone data asked if she had wireless, she pointed to the kitchen counter at the portable Radio and said of course I have, it's right there Grin

CherryCheezcake · 09/07/2019 20:38

We've installed TeamViewer on my DP's laptop so my DSis or I can see their screen remotely to fix things. They currently have a steam powered laptop with Windows 7. I am not looking crossed forward to when it breaks and I have to set them up on Windows 10...

They're quite good with brick Nokias - they are not allowed smartphones - touchscreens would be a disaster

Happynow001 · 10/07/2019 08:26

Chesntoots
LOVE that picture!! Just how I feel to my mother!! 🤣🤣🤣

teenmum18 · 12/07/2019 11:54

I regularly get phone calls from my dad. From his pocket 🤦🏻‍♀️

timeforakinderworld · 12/07/2019 11:58

Teenmum- I get them from my dh. He'd be useless at having an affair as he'd be accidentally calling me all the time.

necklaceofraindrops · 18/07/2019 16:07

Last year, my lovely DF (sadly no longer around) was in hospital. He was a late but very enthusiastic smartphone adopter. He phoned me and left a message on my home phone to say there was a problem and could I give him a call urgently. Naturally I thought the problem was to do with his health, which was deteriorating. No, he couldn't get on to the Internet on his smartphone and wanted to buy something on Amazon so could I fix it. By the time I called back, the old duffer in the bed had fixed it - turns out it was on airplane mode. 😂😂😂

ememem84 · 18/07/2019 20:42

Have had this recently with Dm.

The app for our local government has disappeared. Why can’t she get it on her new iPad when it’s on her phone. What’s wrong with it. Etc.

Turns out they don’t have an app. We think she’s saved the homepage to her phone. But nope. She absolutely hasn’t done that.

She won’t silence her phone at all. And has to read every message email WhatsApp which comes through at the time she hears it. Even if it’s the middle of the night. Then she gets annoyed that Biden or whoever have emailed her.

She told me off today for not replying to an email she sent me yesterday. To my work email. I’m on maternity leave and am not checking it. She knows I’m on leave. I saw her yesterday. But the email was full of news which she could have told me in person.

MrsGideon · 19/07/2019 15:30

My granny is 90 and very dyslexic. She still emails me but her emails have got more and more batshit over the years - they absolutely make my day every time. This is very outing but I can't not share the last one she sent:

the cmweddarling XX (my name), longng to see you in march, a small request when you have time. to bring in march my fingers give me trouble these days!!!! please bring me some plain combsfor putting nowup my long hair once you found one that was greyish colour once in ---- it stays put and i would love a couple of the plane brown ones amazing in sa

I always forward them to my mum and then we read them out to each other exactly as they're written until we're crying with laughter.

Once, in their infinite wisdom, my parents decided to buy her an iPod for Christmas, along with a lovingly (by my dad) word-processed 25 page instruction booklet, complete with screenshots, of how to use iTunes. I think she must have phoned about 15 times in the week that followed for up to an hour at a time as she could not understand how to actually open iTunes in the first place. By the time New Year rolled round, my dad was practically catatonic.

Reader, she has still never managed to download a single song.

MrsGideon · 19/07/2019 15:42

Oh and she also turns her mobile phone off whenever she's not making a phone call or sending a text because she thinks the phone company charge her just for having it on!

VirginiaCreeper · 19/07/2019 15:52

I am tech support for 85 year old DM. She manages quite well. Skype's her sister once a week, emails and does FB. ( Unbeknown to her the entire family block her to avoid the "amusing" messages).
Every time I visit there is a list for me to sort out which almost always includes getting her unstuck on Pearls Peril.

The worst incident was when she discovered she could use the iPad as aradio. Except she couldn't turn it off. An hour of trying to talk her through on the phone failed as apparently her iPad has no buttons. I live an hour away and could not face driving 2 hours at night to turn off the radio. Her neighbours are all elderly.
So I got her to put it down the garden in the shed until the battery died. Went next day and not very patiently showed her the volume and off switch which she swore weren't there.

ememem84 · 20/07/2019 13:42

We’ve just given ddad an iPod touch and a sonos speaker for his 70th.

We’re going to have all sorts of fun and games with this....

Thatsnotmyname4291 · 30/07/2019 20:43

I’ve come back to update with today’s hilarity. My dad asked where we were going today (as a family, separate cars). I told him, he starts skimming the screen of his tablet. After five minutes he says ‘is it to the south of here or the north?’. I say ‘north’ and he says ‘ah yes’. Skims some more and looks confused. ‘I can’t find it’.
I go over. He’s got google maps open and is just browsing the map to see if he sees the place we’re going to. Fine in the local area but we’re on holiday so he has no bearings.
I put him out of his misery and showed him how the search bar worked but then the battery went 🙄🙄

CathyorClaire · 30/07/2019 20:52

How have I not seen this thread before?!

I am elderly DM's phone fixer in chief. Luckily for me this only involves getting her PAYG credit reinstated to her unused phone every six months. Having to unravel a smartphone would be the end of me...

lemonsherbert28 · 14/08/2019 05:38

This thread is hilarious. I am trying to find the thread for people supporting elderly parents, i think it does exist?

nomdegrrr1 · 27/12/2022 00:52

I have a long and distinguished history of firstly putting the phone on mute mid call and then turning the ringer off. I have no idea how I do this, but it happens all the time. I had to get my son to adjust the volume on the tv once as well, but to be fair it was a stuck button.

My late father used to freeze the tv remote on the regular. I'm not sure how he did it but one minute it would be working and the next we would be stuck watching S4C in bewilderment and unable to change the channel. He swore innocence but after the fourth or fifth time I had my suspicions. He also used to regularly change the language on his phone to Swedish, which was an adventure.