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To think I might actually die trying to sort out DM's iPhone?

277 replies

TreacherousPissFlap · 05/07/2019 18:17

DM has a new phone, she's very pleased with it.
The very nice man in the shop told her all her settings would "follow her over" to her new phone. Her settings have not followed her over Hmm
It now appears that DM has no less than three different FB accounts. I assumed she was changing profile pictures, turns out she was just logged into different accounts of the same name. This also explains her indignation that people have not replied to her messages.
She does not know her AppleID and appears to have locked it to DSDads fingerprint- sadly he died two years ago so is not really being much help.
Any requests for passwords are met with blank looks, as if it's an utterly outlandish thing to request.

OP posts:
LadyFidgetAndHerHandbag · 07/07/2019 14:04

I had so much trouble with my mum and technology. The number of times things have gone wrong even though she "didn't press any buttons" is astounding. I've had to stop helping her because it's almost impossible to work out what she's done and fix it. My poor husband spent several hours sorting her email app for her the last time we visited. She has a Samsung tablet, a smart phone and a desktop but thinks that the emails are somehow separate so if she reads an email I've sent her on her phone she somehow forwards it to her computer so she can read it there. I've given up explaining how the Internet works because she forgets. I've watched her sit at her computer and type www.google.co.uk then when she's got to Google she's searched for the name of the website she wants to visit, I think she thinks Google is the gateway to the internet. I asked why she didn't just put the website address in the address bar and she panicked about the questions I was asking her.
She also has this idea that the electricity leaks out if you don't turn plugs off Hmm so the TV, wifi, etc all go off when she goes to bed. Then she complains that the tivo doesn't record programmes after about half 9...

DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 07/07/2019 14:09

DD has a rather unpleasant inheritance coming: tech support for DW. It takes her roughly a year longer than the Windows release cycle to learn a new interface. Every week, I clean her phone of crap games. She has 3 email addresses on Outlook: [email protected], janesmith@gmail and [email protected]. Only one of them actually exists.

LadyFidgetAndHerHandbag · 07/07/2019 14:19

Oh, I've just remembered my grandmother who kept her emergency mobile turned off and locked away. She thought that just having it on cost money even though she was rich and my uncle (also very rich) paid for it anyway.

Doubleraspberry · 07/07/2019 14:34

I've watched her sit at her computer and type www.google.co.uk then when she's got to Google she's searched for the name of the website she wants to visit

This is how my child was taught to find a website in school ICT.

Shannith · 07/07/2019 14:38

My DM used to send emails with the header "mum here". Even after endless proof that her name appeared in the from address.

I still get texts with "hi, mum here" which end love mum. I have given up explaining/showing her. Grin

Cocolapew · 07/07/2019 14:42

😅😅😅
Thankfully my mum had no interest in getting the internet in, she won't even use the basic Kindle I gave her pre loaded with books.
My DDdad got a button mobile and is rubbish a with it.
Every week he comes around to tell DD it's broken again and every week she had to take it off airplane mode.

53rdWay · 07/07/2019 14:45

who kept her emergency mobile turned off and locked away. She thought that just having it on cost money

My mum kept her phone switched off for years! And then admitted later on that she knew full well it didn’t cost anything, she just didn’t want to be contactable all the time when she still had teenagers at home Grin

TheTempest · 07/07/2019 14:58

Brilliant thread! My dad was ace, we lost him in December and he was tech support for everyone. He was only 60 though. My mum is 69 and I regularly have to go round reset her printer, now tv, internet and laptop!

MrsPnut · 07/07/2019 15:22

I have this with my husband, he cannot work either his iPhone or his iPad both of which were hand me downs from me and he types in google to the address bar to be able to go and search for something.

I wouldn't mind so much but he is only in his 40's and is a software developer.

MrsMozartMkII · 07/07/2019 15:46

I buy big IT systems and the such like, and have designed software functionality, but I am indeed your mother in this respect ShockConfusedBlush

I'm off to make a list of all my emails. And account things. And password wotsits. And apps, mustn't forget those. And figure out FB. And Instagram. And Snapchat. And stick my head in a bucket of ice Grin

FinallyHere · 07/07/2019 16:51

After the ice, have a look at https://www.lastpass.com

MrsMigginsLovelyBaps · 07/07/2019 17:22

I still get texts with "hi, mum here" which end love mum. I have given up explaining/showing her.

This is my MIL on FB - despite the fact her ruddy name and photo appears next to each comment or post which she MUST be able to see as she's bloody typing, she still signs off "love Doris". (I've hidden her profile, it gets on my wick.)

My Mum puts all messages to FB friends on her profile, but doesn't tag the person it's for. So she'll put "Have a great birthday - hope to see you soon, love Brenda. x" Who are you talking to Mum?

OMGLongVac · 07/07/2019 17:40

Disgrace — Gmail ignores full stops in the username, so [email protected] goes to the same account as [email protected], [email protected] etc., so the first two example addresses you gave are equivalent (assuming the second one actually finishes with .com).

I have the opposite problem to previous posters. My mum is perfectly fine with computers. Didn't get on with my dad's old iPhone, or the desktop, but that's largely because both were set up how he likes it. But with her own laptop and Android phone, which she leaves on the default settings as much as possible meaning she doesn't cock everything up like my dad occasionally does, she's absolutely fine. Has a few things she likes to do — check the news, do her banking and online shopping, Google for stuff, find hobby-related info and instructional videos, all that kind of thing. The problem is that she's so unconfident of her own abilities that in the rare event something goes wrong, which invariably turns out to be a bug, a service outage, or Windows being fucking stupid, she assumes she's done something wrong. No, mum, it's the computer/website at fault!

LadyFidgetAndHerHandbag · 07/07/2019 19:46

This is how my child was taught to find a website in school ICT.

Bloody hell. Is their ICT teacher one of the mothers on this thread?

JudgeRulesNutterButter · 07/07/2019 19:52

My lovely GPs, in their 90s, nearly had us going lately when I picked up a kindle accidentally and then asked whose it was. Oh no dear, that’s not ours.
A quick search of their house found four such devices. They would only admit to owning one. After I’d charged and examined them it turns out they did, of course, all belong to DGPs.

They only need or want one each so I set them each up with the ones they liked best, with instructions to call me if they changed their mind and wanted a different one. I’m quietly coveting the other two perfectly functional kindles but I’m trying to find the sweet spot between asking too soon and looking grabby, and waiting too long when they’ll have again forgotten they exist 🤣🤣

LadyFidgetAndHerHandbag · 07/07/2019 19:55

I've just remembered the time I asked my mother if she has any funeral wishes.
"Oh yes, it's on my computer with the name 'funeral plans'"
"your computer is password protected, right? Can you print it and put it somewhere obvious?"
"But Lord Fidget and Brother Fidget are both good with computers, they'll be able to find it"
"They're not going to be able to hack into your computer"
"Lord Fidget works for Microsoft doesn't he?"
"No. And even if he did Microsoft don't have a big list somewhere of everybody's passwords"
"are you sure?"
At this point I gave up.

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 07/07/2019 21:12

My DH is convinced if you're calling from a mobile you have to ring a mobile. Thus, when he is out and I'm at home he rings my iPhone even though we have a perfectly good landline with four handsets.

RingtheBells · 07/07/2019 21:23

I've watched her sit at her computer and type www.google.co.uk then when she's got to Google she's searched for the name of the website she wants to visit

DH does this, in fact when he once asked me to look something up for him he said you need to put in Google first, I just looked as though he was mad, I didn’t realise it was a thing.Grin

Letsnotusemyname · 07/07/2019 22:31

My late F was concerned about people stealing his internet. There was no one to steal it in their isolated cul de sac - they were the youngest there. His grandchildren would sit quietly through this as they passed the internet password card round each other.

A little later they both, somewhat suddenly, were unable to drive. They’d moved away from us, their children. They lived miles from any shops. Friends would get them stuff but it wasn’t an ideal situation.

So I suggested internet shopping, yes they’d seen a Tesco van in the area so Tesco it was.

My Mum’s kingdom was the kitchen and my Dad’s the internet. They rarely encroached on each others kingdoms.

My Mum’s failing eyesight as well as 3 fridges, 2 freezers and a randomly organised pantry meant that she’d little idea of what they had in. My Dad wasn’t well and was a fussy eater.

My Dad would, with my Mum’s help, type out the order. He’d go down the aisles as it were and she’d tell him what she thought they need for the week ahead. This took a couple of hours.

Initially this worked OK. However my mum only had a vague idea of what was needed/what they’d eaten. My Dad wasn’t brilliant on his iPad. They basically had the same order every week with minor amendments. He often had a dangling finger that could order stuff on its own.

At that time I went across every weekend to find the various fridges filled with rotting salads and fruit, still in their bags. A dozen jars of honey, More bread than a flock of geese could eat.

Eventually we moved them to a house near my Brother. He oversaw their shopping. ( notice how Tesco aren’t doing so well now). Far less to chuck out now.

TreacherousPissFlap · 07/07/2019 22:50

These have made me feel so much better Grin

DM is now installed with new apps that will allow her to listen to audiobooks, the radio and music. She trundles off home tomorrow so we'll see how long before something "breaks"

It was also a shining moment earlier when she placed her first ever Amazon order (hopefully she won't be like letsnotusemynames DP's!) She has ordered 25 kg of bird seed and is beside herself with anticipation Grin

OP posts:
Beachhutgirl · 07/07/2019 23:56

Loving this thread, I get phone calls at work from DM on these lines:

DM : What's Sandra done to my computer?
Me : What's the matter with it?
It doesn't work
What happens when you turn it on?
Nothing
Have you checked the power cable?
Oh there is power, the light comes on and it makes a noise, but the screen is blank
Well that's not nothing is it, I expect she turned the monitor off
It doesn't turn off
Yes it does, try the switch on the right hand side
There isn't one
Yes there is
Oh yes, it's fine now

Keeps the office amused

Cornishclio · 08/07/2019 00:00

Been there and done that numerous times for my DM. She is awful with passwords although has not set her phone or iPad to be unlocked by dead mans finger yet.

HappyLoneParentDay · 08/07/2019 01:22

Slightly different context but this reminds me of when my Mum worked in online banking for Natwest. She had a caller on the phone who was fuming as her cheque still hadn't cleared...

Mum: When did you pay it in?
Caller: A bloody week last Tuesday!
Mum: Which Branch was it paid in at?
Caller: I didn't pay it into the branch you fool, I did it online...
Mum: ........How exactly did you do that?

She'd put it into the disc drive.

DinosaurFineosaur · 08/07/2019 09:39

This thread is gold! My parents have been living in a technology vacuum since around 2003, showing no acknowledgement at all of the way the world has progressed other than very occasionally peppering conversation with some doom and gloom warning about the internet that they’ve picked up from the Daily Fail. The one that sticks in the mind was my cousin (around 19 at the time) being quite proud that he’d mastered a bmx stunt after following youtube tutorials. My dad burst into the conversation, quite upset, declaring that “The You Tubes” cause people to commit suicide and cousin must never ever watch The You Tubes again. Both of them regularly howl in frustration at their own pretty standard landline phone because they can never remember which buttons (green or red) answer and end the calls.

Anyway, despite all this, mum decided about two years ago that she was going to get one of those smartphone things (she’d previously had the same brick since 2002). I recommended the Doro but she took offence at the fact that it was marketed towards old people and instead somehow found and purchased a £10 smartphone from a random brand that nobody had ever heard of. She insisted it would do exactly the same as those fancy iphones but she was not going to pay a ridiculous sum of money for a phone. This thing was utterly unfathomable. DH and I regularly flit between Samsung and iphone models and consider ourselves quite techy but this phone defied logic in usability. Obviously, our inability to use or troubleshoot issues for DM just vindicated her belief that these things are far too complicated.

We did eventually persuade her to give up that phone and instead splash out on a basic Samsung model, explaining that although she’d have to spend over £100, the phone would be easier to use. She did actually get to grips with it quite well and hasn’t looked back since then but, like a pp said, she did have the unfortunate habit of somehow jabbing and swiping the screen at the same time which obviously ended up with the phone not doing what she wanted. One of her friends bought her a stylus to combat that and now she sits happily tapping away, albeit very slowly so we get the constant “mum is typing” notifications, followed by a one word message around fifteen minutes later. She also likes to have the keypad sound on which everyone else around her finds extremely annoying (“beep……. Beep…….beep….beep….oh no, I’ve misspelt that and have to delete….beep beep beep beep. Deep breath. Beep….. beep…. Beep….) and I have regularly video calls with the underside of her chin.

She joined facebook a while ago so that she could keep up to date with the family. She reposts Britain First memes on a daily basis, likes and comments on every photo posted by anyone she knows, joins in practically every conversation, even if it has nothing to do with her, posts messages in public that really should be private, responds to each and every post she says that says something like “I bet you can’t name a city beginning with the letter A”, reposts things like the dog with ham on his face, or pictures of children with disabilities saying they were told nobody would like their photo, tags herself in any group photos which include her but refuses to give herself a profile photo (so she’s still got the basic silhouette profile) because if facebook knows what she looks like, they will let someone steal her identity.

At least she tries though. Meanwhile my dad doesn’t even have a brick phone and is aghast that she would have brought such a thing into their house. He doesn’t like or trust computers at all and everything that ever goes wrong, from the TV breaking to either one of them coming down with the common cold is blamed on the fact that she uses “that thing” and it is creating invisible electric waves which are disrupting the house.

DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 08/07/2019 11:05

DM got her first PC in 1999, and within a week was confidently working from the command line. Meanwhile, DF was still struggling with their cordless phone. We bought him a mobile for emergencies as he was terminally ill, and it was used exactly once. He'd fallen in the garden, and a kind passer-by had rung the ambulance on it. I miss him still, and his utter incomprehension of anything more complicated than a light switch.