Embarrassed by boyfriend

[DogDmor]

Been seeing someone for around 3 months. We get in we'll but he's quirky, which is fine - well I thought it was. Sometimes I'm starting to think he's just plain odd.

He's overweight and said he wanted to get fitter so I suggested he come along to my karate class. He did and I ended up mortified. He wore scruffy old jogging suit bottoms with paint on them and a massive baggy t-shirt with Harry Potter on. Whenever instructor showed him something he giggled. Instructor is hard arse, old school - I've known him for years and knew he was going to react badly. After 3 or so giggling moments and DB stood in weird positions and flapping his arms around like a little girl instructor said "what are you giggling at? Are you a girl or what? Do you have something wrong with you?". Everyone was looking. DB started stuttering and instructor carried on with "you know this is karate and not ballet don't you? Are you in the wrong class?". DBs face went bright red. I was mortified and just wanted to hide. Another female instructor said "alright, it's his first day" so instructor said "but what's he giggling at?". Anyway later on instructor came over to me and said "where the hell did you find him? Is he one of your patients or something?" I was so embarrassed I just said "he's a neighbour".

After the class I asked DB why he kept laughing. I'd warned him beforehand about the instructor. He replied "it was funny, I thought I looked silly!" So I said "you did, why did you act like that? It's a class full of martial artists, nobody else was acting like that" do he looked embarrassed and said "I don't know" so I said he shouldn't come again as instructor will have it in for him now. He got upset and said "but I like spending time with you" so I snapped and farted and said "well you embarrassed me, I've been going there for years and now I don't want to go back because of you, find your own hobby".

Anyway this isn't an isolated incident, a couple of weeks ago he embarrassed me in a cafe shouting and making a scene. In private we get on really well but in private he mortifies me.

He still wants to come to karate with me tonight. AIBU to tell him I don't want him there?

I got the dragon thing too but I guess if a cartoon, cutsie dragon I might not have...

Had about 5 hours sleep as was up shaking with laughter until 1am, I knew I needed to stop looking at this thread but couldn't keep away.

Had to sit in the bathroom until I calmed down because I woke up DH shaking the bed.

What was the first thing I did this morning when I woke up?! You guessed it.

Hahahahahaha @SnappyFartingPigeon people must have thought all women have come down with some kind of pandemic

Goldmonday

I hear you! I've had many nights like these over the years on forums. It's bloody awful, but you just can't look away!

I can’t help thinking that the ‘Bend and Snap’ scene in Legally Blonde would’ve taken on a whole new meaning with a fart in there too...

It's true that stress can cause flatulence though. If you were being visited by tax inspectors, for instance:-

Snapped and farted, never though this could be an annoyance displaying tactic before but it does explain DH's behavior earlier in the week.

I was lying in the bath in our small windowless bathroom moaning at him about something irrelevant to with decorating which he hates. He was standing in the doorway. He must have had enough because he gave me a withering look and let rip with a volley of loud farts.

Rancid stinky bastard had me trapped and he knew it, going by the smirk.

Come to think of it, he doesn't half fart a lot when we argue.

I should've mentioned IBS in the OP to stop the questioning and silliness

No, it really wouldn't have. IBS doesn't make the sentence "so I snapped and farted and said..." any more normal

You said it so casually, as if it's an everyday thing. "So I snapped and shouted at him", yes. "I snapped and farted and said", not so much!

OP, please ignore the comments above. The instructor was doing what a lot of instructors do. He was trying to teach a class; it's meant to be taken seriously and he had some idiot new student giggling away at everything.

So he thought he'd ask 'Are you a girl?' - yeah he can be serious without being a dick about it. I stand by my comment that the instructor was an arsehole.

My yoga instructor has asked gigglers to leave before. He wouldn't be a twat about it though. He just gives them the choice of not disturbing the class or leaving.

I have just read from start to finish and not going to lie, I have laughed so hard at some parts that I have given myself an eye twitch!....totally worth it!

I think my DH would be expert at martial farts.

I just spent way to long reading this!! It’s not quite 2:30 am where I am... Long past my bedtime🤪. Not LOL’ing, it wasn’t that funny. Kinda sad actually. It sounds like both parties have their issues, IBS, social awkwardness etc.

She did warn her BF about the class and instructor... What else could she have done! I am in a type of karate and although my instructor is not old school, that behaviour would have not been appreciated by an adult. It would have been very distracting for the whole class. My class is all ages from 10 and over and all belts from white to red.

The instructor sounds like he tried to deal with it 2-3 times before he finally lost it! The BF is a grown man and should know in certain situations you act a certain way. Not sure, follow others around you. It’s not that hard to follow someone in front of you. We have classes with 3-6 yrs olds and they behave better then he did on their first day!!!

PS, not condoning the instructions use of calling him a little girl etc, that was not necessary, the belittling and names and knocking down woman and ballet dancers was very wrong. If I was a classmate, I would not be impressed by an adult playing about and not seriously trying. A child, maybe, an adult, not so much.

Irate Bowel Snapping oh God I started this morning in tears but now I'm actually laughing.
I too have IBS, and I'm in awe you can even consider karate , I couldn't even manage the bend and snap it definitely would have been the snap and fart.

Your bf sounds quite sweet but you and the instructor sound made for each other, why don't you hook up with him and you can snap your farts and he can bark at you like a sergeant major, your bf can then find someone nice!

@SnappyFartingPigeon

Wow, what a day yesterday was.

Absolutely
I’ve jus read the op to my mum and sis in mcds having breakfast, it took me a while through the tears!!

ItsalmostSummer Thu 14-Jun-18 20:17:17
"Snapped and shouted ...
Snapped and had a meltdown ..
Snapped and left him ..

Nope. Snapped and farted.

Hey, I wonder if any world leaders have tried this tactic? hmm"

Has nobody suggested Trump yet?

Going against the grain slightly here, but I would find that very annoying and disrespectful. I would hate someone not taking my hobby seriously- especially if they insisted on coming.

You aren’t compatible OP. Confused you haven’t noticed this sooner tbh! Someone’s sense of humour not matching yours is a big red flag.

@QueenOfTheAndals
Hmm this reminds me of the OP who had a falling out with her colleagues and "urinated on the seat". She never came back to explain the typo either...

I think she did. She came back eventually and explained that she'd meant to type 'turned' in her seat.

Having read the whole thread & the OP's other thread where BF asks what the dog is saying to him I'm wondering if his name is Jim & he turns up every Friday for dinner.

Omg I only read the first page of this 🤣 snapped and farted 😄👍🏼😂

Well this has made my morning.
Thanks all - you are so friggin' witty it's fantastic!

I thought he was shouting Dog too

Me too, I think that makes us pigeons

The way OP says "snapped and farted" - it's like farting is her last-resort ammunition in arguments. Pulling out the big guns when there is nothing left to say

Completely gone, pmsl at my desk