Embarrassed by boyfriend

[DogDmor]

Been seeing someone for around 3 months. We get in we'll but he's quirky, which is fine - well I thought it was. Sometimes I'm starting to think he's just plain odd.

He's overweight and said he wanted to get fitter so I suggested he come along to my karate class. He did and I ended up mortified. He wore scruffy old jogging suit bottoms with paint on them and a massive baggy t-shirt with Harry Potter on. Whenever instructor showed him something he giggled. Instructor is hard arse, old school - I've known him for years and knew he was going to react badly. After 3 or so giggling moments and DB stood in weird positions and flapping his arms around like a little girl instructor said "what are you giggling at? Are you a girl or what? Do you have something wrong with you?". Everyone was looking. DB started stuttering and instructor carried on with "you know this is karate and not ballet don't you? Are you in the wrong class?". DBs face went bright red. I was mortified and just wanted to hide. Another female instructor said "alright, it's his first day" so instructor said "but what's he giggling at?". Anyway later on instructor came over to me and said "where the hell did you find him? Is he one of your patients or something?" I was so embarrassed I just said "he's a neighbour".

After the class I asked DB why he kept laughing. I'd warned him beforehand about the instructor. He replied "it was funny, I thought I looked silly!" So I said "you did, why did you act like that? It's a class full of martial artists, nobody else was acting like that" do he looked embarrassed and said "I don't know" so I said he shouldn't come again as instructor will have it in for him now. He got upset and said "but I like spending time with you" so I snapped and farted and said "well you embarrassed me, I've been going there for years and now I don't want to go back because of you, find your own hobby".

Anyway this isn't an isolated incident, a couple of weeks ago he embarrassed me in a cafe shouting and making a scene. In private we get on really well but in private he mortifies me.

He still wants to come to karate with me tonight. AIBU to tell him I don't want him there?

My goodness. Farting etc aside if you recent his personality and fashion choices so much you can't be out the house then perhaps consider separating?

It seems very shallow to be so bothered about his clothes (which are up to him and presumably reflect his likes)- you do come across badly OP, why do you assume everyone there is equally shallow enough to care what he wears. If they are why would you even want the opinion of such people.
The entire 'little girl' comparison is grossly offensive , your instructor is sexist and sounds like a bully. Do this poor guy a favour and let him be with someone that lets him be him and doesn't want to hear him down. For your own sake also find someone you actually like 'in public.
If you get on so well at home surely he is the same there? Perhaps it is you that is different out of the house if you feel fine in private but not public.
Surely regardless this is no way to speak about someone you care about. I would not have time for any adult that used a feminine term as derogatory in such a deliberately demeaning way. If you care more for your public perception than how hurtful this is then that's seriously off kilter.

Hmmmm my SIL has IBS and we have had a few arguments - she has never farted back in anger....yet!
She may well be doing a angry ninja fart on my pillow before bed though.

I'm in the worst mood ever but I keeping coming back to this post and actually laughing so hard 😂😂😂 snapping and farting 😂😂😂

Ah the sure way to win an argument. Snapping and farting. I need to try this next time me and DH argue tbh.

I have ibs I didn't realise it could lead me to fart in anger.

This thread is amazing but at 38 weeks pregnant all this laughing is really working my pelvic floor.

Oh my God you actually snapped and farted 😂😭
Dead.

Ok. I felt bad when I saw OP mention IBS. Like that's why she avoided the farting questions because it wasn't a funny typo but an unfortunate condition which has made everyone giggle.

But that seems to have set you lot off even more?? I don't know where I stand on this now!

I don't know where I stand on this now!

I'd sit down. Before you fart.

Is it ok to say I don't have IBS so I should be fine?

Snapping and farting would be on a par with screaming at a Da Vinci.

Michelangelo, you mean. Thought you definitely shouldn't snap and fart at either

If a clown farts, does it smell funny?

OP, I would leave him.
he makes no effort being presentable, has social behaviour troubles, wakes you up without consideration, fucking chew on his fingers... Fuck that, you want a partner, not a child.
Quirks are funny on paper, a nightmare to support. You are no carer, no social worker. I am pretty sure you will find more dignified, and more considerate.

Having said that though, when my ds really has a giggle fit he farts. Like he's laughing so much it builds up some trapped wind or something I guess. Maybe stress farting is real and we should all be supporting OP instead of mocking. And making up (very funny) riddles.

OMG, there are Oreo crumbs everywhere, first time I think I've laughted out loud at a forum in years! Hilarious!

OK, so seriously, I don't think he needs to come to your hobby, I'd be very annoyed if my DH came to mine, it's MINE! I quite like having separate interests, we can then talk about them and so on. He doesn't need to be with you every waking hour. If it's a very serious class, then perhaps it's not for him. The way he acted does not sound neurotypical and it's fine, but not if there's a classful of people correctly dressed wanting to work properly.

This just gets weirder.

OK so you have IBS, why specify that you farted though?

Is that a "thing", like if someone really pisses you off you deal them an IBS punishment fart?

This has made my day

@Barkface if you can stand on it, its not a fart...

Hmmmm my SIL has IBS and we have had a few arguments - she has never farted back in anger....yet!
She may well be doing a angry ninja fart on my pillow before bed though.

hahahahahaha

HOWLING at snapped and farted. Also the instructor sounds dreadful, what’s wrong with being a little girl or doing ballet?

Im sorry you've ibs. Im not really sure it was necessary to mention you farted though. Im guessing you felt it was in some way highly relevant to the story, but I'm not sure any of us are clear on why?

.

I'd dump the boyfriend, the instructor, and the simultaneous snapping and farting.

So you meant to say that you farted?

😂😂😂

Your instructor sounds like a twat and you don't sound great either. God forbid someone acts totally harmlessly outside your social norms. Fgs dump him and let him find someone nice.

Brilliant thread! So funny. Thank you OP.

Do set the poor bloke free though. He deserves someone who isn't embarrassed to be seen with him in public and who doesn't snap and fart. You need someone who acts like an adult and who could stand up to your knobhead martial arts instructor. Or possibly you need the martial arts instructor!