Crematorium Technician here

[CodLiverOil556]

I see lots of threads about cremations and Crematoria. I'm currently a crem tech so please ask me questions and I will endeavor to answer them.

Fascinating thread.

How much do an average adult’s ashes weigh? And (stupid question) do large/skinny/normal sized people all have on average the same weight ashes?

And how do you sweep all the ashes out, is there not any static in the cremator?

@MindBodyChocolate that's great that you see a cremator. A lot of people are fascinated by cremators and cremation. It is the tool so I can do my job but even I look inside sometimes and think wow

If there are any funeral directors watching this, please can you start a thread on "what happens when people die" it would be nice to know what happens from point of death to when people like kermit take over.

@HateSummer I don't really know as all ashes weigh differently. If pushed I would say between half a stone and 10lbs I suppose.

TQ My DH works for a funeral director. They quite often have private cremations where none of the family attend. It may be preceded with a church service and just the coffin goes onto the crematorium. It is a personal choice.

@HateSummer we don't sweep the cremator of ashes...we sweep it of bones then cremulate the bones into ashes.

Why do funerals cost so much?

Oh I see, that makes sense.

This is so interesting.

What does cremulate mean?

Do you get a sense of a soul going or a soul staying behind?

Have you ever encountered anything weird?

Do cremators (people like yourself) have superstitions?

I saw a relative 4 days before they passed, to me it was like they had already gone soul wise possibly, as it wasn't the same person, very agitated. I was pretty pissed off it took the staff so long to get an obviously dying person onto the Liverpool Care Pathway.

Thanks Crumble this thread has helped me with that issue. And if OP is in anyway typical of crematorium staff I can rest easy and at peace.

Dim question: you said you remove the nails - did you mean everyone’s nails? Or false nails?

If everyones - do the funeral directors do that or you guys?

Absolutely fascinating thread, thank-you.
I'll nominate it for Classics

So the powder ash part doesn't happen at all in the cremator, the remains (skeleton?) are still solid and then turned into powder (cremulated?)

OyO I believe she meant coffin nails rather than fingernails.

So ashes weigh about the same as a newborn baby? I like that symmetry!

@TheDayDreamBeliever cremulate means to ground down bones into ashes. I don't really believe anything and nothing seriously weird has happened.

What an interesting thread, it's about 2 weeks off the 8th anniversary of my mums death and it wasn't till a couple months ago i actually braved to look at/hold the container her ashes were put in. They were heavier than i expected.

One question im pretty sure i know the answer to but want to ask anyway, is what if one family member approaches you to ask for a small amount of the ashes separate?
My mum chose cremation before she passed as she couldn't stand the thought of insects etc eating her. My aunt and my grandmother wanted some of her ashes each to spread in their own gardens, but i told my dad in no uncertain terms i did NOT want her ashes splitting up or spreading. It comforts me to know she is all together, whole, and that i know where she is. I mean, you wouldn't cut up a body being buried to bury a part of it in your own garden, so splitting ashes feels so wrong to me. I also hate the idea of scattering as it feels like you're throwing them away, you don't know where they will end up and there is absolutely no getting them back, hence me being 100% against it.
Luckily my dad completely understood my feelings and agreed with me and refused to give some of the ashes to my aunt, despite her protesting that he could take a small amount, re seal the tub and just not tell me and what i didn't know wouldn't hurt me, and i can't forgive her for even suggesting it.
My question, would you ever fulfil this request of a family member who was not the next of kin/the one paying for the cremation, to take a small portion as a secret? I'm 99.9% certain you never would, as it isn't ethical, but i can imagine if a parent or sibling wanted some ashes and the husband/wife had refused they may appeal to your emotions and ask in desperation. It would be so hard for you to have a crying family member there who can't help their own feelings and desires to have a part of their loved one and not be the one who gets to make that call. You wouldn't be human to not sympathise with them and understand why they felt that was something they wanted/needed, but just looking for reassurance i guess that you/a colleague wouldn't cross that line even if nobody would ever find out.

@OyO I mean coffin nails sorry should have clarified that

@olderthanyouthink no we rake our bones and cremulate them into ashes

Fascinating thread OP, thank you for taking the time to talk to us about it.

I'd like to know if you need any qualifications to do your job and if it's a physically hard job (I understand it must be mentally hard)

Thank you so much much for this thread, I hope I have be someone caring like you at the end.

Do you get support in your role? I can imagine it could be quite emotional.

Do you have somewhere in mind for your ashes when you have be passed? (I have a particular cliff in mind, on a day with a wind blowing out to sea.)

If someone doesn't have family to collect their ashes and you scatter them in the grounds, is there someone in your team who tends to do it or do you take it turns? Do you have a favourite spot to scatter at?

What does your heatproof suit look like? I imagine you as a volcanologist in a great silvery spacesuit.

@AlmostAJillSandwich no, we would only go by what the applicant (the person who signed the form cremation 1) and not anybody as we don't know the family dynamics. People do split ashes and is becoming more common.

Thank you for educating me about things I would never have a chance to know about otherwise, my mum was last to die in 2007 but wanted buried,

I had promised her I would do last offices for her with the help of a nurse (as im not a nurse) when she had passed, in the end we couldnt as we didnt know what the cause of death was so everything had to be left intact when her body was taken for post mortem.

I know the funeral director spoke and chatted to her all the way to the chapel of rest, (60 mile journey) then we took her home for a 2 night wake where we celebrated her life the funeral mass and burial beside my father.

When my brother and I stood in the room in the undertakers to choose a coffin without saying anything or looking at each other we both went over and put our hands on the same one. In the silence we both started laughing as we recalled one of her funeral requests that she wanted the darkest coffin possible so that the "worms wouldnt see her"

Im glad there are lovely kind people working in the business as it makes things a lot easier. Thank you.

@TitsalinaBumSquash I only needed c or above in maths and english but you have to be a certain type of person to do the job. You have to have intensive training and pass a test to become qualified too.

almostajill
i "split"my husbands ashes ,so some could go to his favorite fishing place and some with his dog and cat/the animals died 6-9 months before him.
i felt like i had done right.
and tha'ts what you need to remember do what feels right for you.