Crematorium Technician here

[CodLiverOil556]

I see lots of threads about cremations and Crematoria. I'm currently a crem tech so please ask me questions and I will endeavor to answer them.

@MrsSarahSiddons contact the Crematorium or funeral director and they will be able to tell you as records are kept. They might be in big dusty books but they will be there.

MrsMorton I am sorry I offended. It was just something that was said to me many years ago, probably as a kid in the yes, slightly ghoulish way, kids do and it stuck with me as one of those weird myths.

When I was young child, some ‘kind’ person told me that bodies sit up, make a noise or move about during cremation due to gas expanding within the body. It frightened me. Is there any truth in it?

@IloveKermit - thank you so much, that's really amazing. I will contact them.

I just want to say a massive 'thank you' to you, Kermit. My mum is nearing the end (could be tomorrow, could be next month) and she has opted for cremation in her funeral plan. I had so many questions about cremation before you started this thread and I am so very grateful for your thoughtfulness and professionalism.

This is fascinating!

Thank you for a fascinating thread. No one has mentioned the jewellery yet. When my mum was cremated I had to go to the office to sign something. There was a display case in the corner containing jewellery that you could have made which included some of your loved ones ashes. Necklaces, rings and earrings. I was pretty freaked out by the whole thing as it was but that nearly sent me over the edge.

@TinkerbellSparkle this is something we offer and to be honest it's really nice. You can have necklaces/rings and pandora charms. I can see how it would freak you out though

This thread has been so interesting and informative OP, thank you for starting it.

I am comforted to think that the people who cremated my grandfather might have had the same approach as you, you sound lovely.

If i had something like that made i'd be so terrified of losing it that i don't think it would bring me much comfort at all! Totally irreplaceable after all.

Each to their own of course.
Great thread.

I've got a couple of questions, one relevant, one a bit random!

How long do you keep cremated remains for if they are not collected by the family?

Also, there is a missing persons case - Corrie McKeague - who vanished after possibly being tipped into a bin lorry. Landfill has been searched and there's a possibility he went to an environmental incinerator. Google tells me it should but about the same as your cremator, 850c. Should his remains have been found if he was erroneously cremated there?

I’m so glad that this thread has been moved to classics. I’m sure I want a burial but my parents want to be cremated when the time comes and I feel more comfortable with that thought now I’ve read all that you’ve said Kermit. I also had a relative who had a direct cremation recently (his wish) and it really upset me that he was alone. I hope he was looked after by someone like you. Thank you

Is the jewellery company called Ashes Into Glass, Kermit? They are just down the road from me and I had a necklace made using some of my nan's ashes. We even went to the workshop to see everything being made. They too were so lovely, professional and respectful. Any unused ashes were returned to us - nothing is swept up and binned (tbh I sort of assumed they would!).

Thank you for this thread @ILoveKermit. My DM died last year and was cremated and reading this has put my mind at rest. I just hope she was looked after by someone as caring as you.

When Mum died she was cremated with her false teeth and she also had her dogs ashes with her. We asked the funeral director if the ashes could go with her and they said yes.

Iv never had a body sit up and if that happened I'd be very freaked out but presume they were not dead . I run a burial ground and have dealt with many deceased and have never came across this . I think I'd run a mile if it did happen. We treat everyone with respect and dignity and I always talk to them whilst preparing them for family .

This a fascinating thread, thanks OP. I am a bit confused though as to how everyone says ashes are surprisingly heavy. When my mom died a few years ago, my sister and I collected her ashes. They were in a small plastic bag about the size of a sandwich bag, placed inside a wooden box. It weighed almost nothing at all, and there wasn't much of it. I'm now concerned they only gave us a portion of the remains. This wasn't in the UK btw, it was in South Africa.

I've got a paperweight with the ashes of my mum and dad in. It's really pretty, has their names engraved on the bottom and it's useful! It's not weird or horrible, you wouldn't even know what it was unless you knew...the ashes are just sparkly sort of bits on the middle decoration. You can choose what colour you'd like - and it's sort of comforting to know that they are still there, in a way.

I have a ring from Ashes into Glass with my Grandads ashes in. I hardly wear it though as it's too special.

I often wondered if the ashes were mainly coffin and bits of bone though? What does the coffin disintegrate to?

Thank you, IloveKermit. This is, indeed, a lovely thread. You are so kind to answer all our questions so patiently.

This may not come under your exact line of work but when the ashes are to be buried at the crematorium (like my grandparents) when do they bury them ?
Obviously when the crem is shut but how come you don’t see little mud piles like you would after a church burial ? The ground is so neat.
I love how you speak to them before they go it’s so touching. I remember with my nan the lady at the funeral home said she always popped a flower in each coffin ,and always referred to her women as ‘my ladies’- very soothing for family members thankyou for this thread.

So after the cremationhas finished you have to rake the bones for metal? Does that mean you are raking around a skeleton? That must be upsetting?

@alphajuliet123 we keep remains for however long it takes for the family to make up their minds. We had some remains sat on a shelf since 1976 so the manager made the decision one day to scatter.

Yes his body probably would have been slowly cremated as I doubt that temperate would have been constant for 70-90 minutes

@MizCracker yes ashes into glass. They're very good

@Newcomer31 we lift the turf and dig a hole then everything is put back exactly as it should. Ashes that have been scattered are brushed into the ground (when the family has left) to stop unsightly piles of ash too. Ashes are actually really bad for soil and plants so the more spread out they are the better

@Flatteryontheside to be honest when raking it's actually very quick as it's so hot. We're talking temperatures of nearly 1000 degrees so a good crem tech can rake properly in about 1 minute. We sort the bones after they have cooled for about an hour. Hips/knees/big pieces are removed prior to cremulation then a magnet removes the pins/nails/other bits.