Expats, tell me what aspect or social norm of your new country was strange to you?

[AjasLipstick]

I am a Brit in Oz and for me, the hardest thing to get used to was Sunday trading hours being like the UK in the 70s.

The weirdest thing was how much less formal people are...kids are dressed very informally and parties for children never have kids dressed up in party dresses but in shorts and t shirts. I like it now I'm used to it though.

Not an expat.

In small towns in the USA, if you are on the pavement and looking as if you might be thinking about crossing the road any time in the next fortnight, any car in the vicinity will grind to a halt to let you cross. I have often crossed the road when I wasn’t actually intending to so as not to disappoint. Equally it’s not unreasonable to step out into the road to cross if a car is approaching - they will stop for you and the driver won’t think they need to shout and swear to demonstrate the error of your ways. This should definitely not be attempted in New York, however.

In a number of states, alcohol (spirits/wine) can only be purchased in specialist liquor stores, sometimes run by the state. My friend was surprised to be sent home to bring back ID before he was allowed to make a purchase (he is 65).

After living here for over a decade I still cannot get used to “see you later!” from total strangers.
Man serving me at Greggs: “see you later!”
Lady on the same bus: “see you later!”
Customer service from Amazon: “See you later!”

I AM NEVER GOING TO SEE ANY OF YOU PEOPLE EVER AGAIN!!
Just say goodbye!!

Scandinavian country:

Coffee with dessert, not afterwards, and never ever taken white.
Pre-drinking for a night out is for proper grown-ups, not just teenagers or students, and a night out starts at 11 at the earliest.
Work starts at 8am and finishes at 3.45. Buildings like a ghost town by 4pm.
Welfare system that makes the UK look it's stuck in about 1905.
Huge emphasis on community efforts, so everyone expected to pile out and help tidy up the neighbourhood or similar. Really frowned on not to join in.
Yet much more of a culture of non-intrusiveness/unfriendliness, depending on which way you look at it. No small talk, including with checkout staff etc. Perfectly normal to sit in dead silence beside someone for half an hour in e.g. the gap in a rehearsal and not address a word to them.
Not being able to buy alcohol anywhere except special government shops and they close at about 3pm on a Saturday
Shoes off at the door. It's drummed into the children: I think most of the kids we had over would have as soon shouted "fuck" through the front door as dared to set one toe over the lintel without removing their shoes!
Casual clothes for work but understated elegance for going out
No pub culture at all, and never ever a quick drink with your colleagues after work

re parking - at night you should park on the left hand side of the road so your rear lights show to traffic

When I came to live here I was shocked to see licensing laws for bars, clubs and alcohol sales, although these have relaxed somewhat since.
Shops and supermarkets open on a Sunday in places other than major cities.
Public transport finishing before midnight in none major cities, but even in major cities not running too late.
No bakery shops.
No cafes or bakeries with outdoor seating.
No handshaking.
No open air swimming pools with picnic areas.
No quiet afternoon periods.
People insisting that going out for a drink or a meal after say 8 pm is too late to go out.

I'm used to it all now though

Brit overseas:

• drink driving
• no seat belts, no car seats, kids standing up in the car
• formal courtesies (such as having to say "Good morning" to someone before starting your interaction with them, even via text message)
• birthdays being a BIG thing
• going to a party and not taking anything with you, not even a bottle of wine for the host to open at another time

what if you don't actually like tea? Is there an accepted way of telling your host that so you don't keep getting asked?

The answer, if my aunts were hosting, is no. You can take this from someone who hates tea, especially milky tea, and has really tried everything. You can sometimes get away with a 'wee cup of tea in your hand' rather than the full high tea spread...

My cousins will check any invitation, in a 'do you really just mean a glass if wine' because turning up anything other than ravenous would seem like an insult to their cooking, to the aunts.

All generations still refer to the airing cupboard as the hot press, No? Me neither, but i have come across it in Scotland, too.

I have often crossed the road when I wasn’t actually intending to so as not to disappoint.

Me too! A very English response to the issue....!

Equally it’s not unreasonable to step out into the road to cross if a car is approaching - they will stop for you and the driver won’t think they need to shout and swear to demonstrate the error of your ways. This should definitely not be attempted in New York, however.

This used to drive me mad in the US. An American friend explained it was something to do with most states having a strict liability that the car driver is always in the wrong if they hit a pedestrian?

Oh, a couple more.

God forbid the postman would ever knock at your door. If it doesn't fit in the post box you'll be walking to the post office.
Internet shopping about 20 years behind the UK and huge delivery charges. Nothing is ever included for free.
Two brands of everything in the shops rather than several like in the UK.
Adults stay for birthday parties and you feed them too.
Big birthdays usually involve a fully catered party or money behind the bar. No bring a bottle. It must cost a fortune!
No culture of offering help. No holding doors, offering seats etc. Though most will immediately and politely help if requested.

what if you don't actually like tea? Is there an accepted way of telling your host that so you don't keep getting asked?

No. You might, in some circumstances, be able to ask for coffee instead. But normally you could make the best of it by asking for a small cup and drinking it as hot as you can bear (it doesn't taste as much like that, I find)

A Brit in Denmark:

The rudeness of people is a shocker. They say they're just blunt, but it's extreme. I don't feel much warmth from people and they are very hard to get close to. You eventually stop trying.

Very young children just wandering/cycling around on their own, to and from school etc. Parents aren't very watchful of their children in malls etc, either. I've lost count of the times i've said to my partner "if that was the UK, that kid would be gone by now." But i'm starting to see it as a good thing. In the UK we mollycoddle kids, probably rightly so due to the crime levels. Here, crime rates are very low and i don't sense the same fear for wrapping the young in cotton wool.

Flags. You cannot fly any other flag than the Danish one, despite most gardens having a flagpole. Your neighbour's will grass you up to the Kommune, no hesitation!

Kids start school, at earliest, when they are 6 and it's all very outdoorsy and sporty.

Going into a cafe at 10am to find most people sitting with a pint of beer or glass of wine instead of a coffee.

The country seems to shut down in October and not open again until April/May. Most castles/historical buildings/places of interest close. I'm surprised they've much tourism outside of Copenhagen.

Food and cars are extortionate!! In fact, everything is. We do a big food shop in Germany once a month and buy 99% of things online to be sent from the UK.

Taxes are almost 50% But the work hours and work culture is far better. 8am - 3.30 and Friday is a 2pm finish.

My OH is Danish, I've visited lots of Danish houses.

Shoes off at the door is pretty much the same as over here, some do, some don't.

Coffee is more likely to be taken black than white but I know plenty of Danes who take cream in their coffee and I've always been offered it.

My inlaws have flown a union jack on my birthday without being excommunicated

Have spent half my life in Ireland and half in England and have never ever ever encountered tea refusal in Ireland. In fact the vast majority of homes I’ve been in have the kettle boiled when they see you coming up the path.

One thing I do notice about the Irish is that they’re killed fattening you up with any foodstuff they can lay their hands on, and then as soon as you’re out the door they’re on the phone to tell someone how fat you’ve got since they last saw you Yes beloved aunts I’m talking about you!

Lived in several countries and what surpised me was:

Spain:

• How you get food for free at bars when you order something

-How people call teachers by their first name and use "tu" instead of the formal form for everyone including elderly people, strangers and their boss. (It took me a while to get used to but now struggle not to do it in every country I go.) -How people eat at 2pm and have dinner at 10pm so the main evening movie start at 10pm and nobody goes out partying before 2am -Adding olive oil on everything -How nobody would dare to miss the Sunday lunch at grandma's house, no matter the age (and how common it is for people to live at their parents well into adulthood)

Italy:

• How bad people drive and park in Rome and how you risk your life everytime you happen to cross the road!

-The amount of sexual harrassment I faced when living in Rome (it was grim!)

• How people litterally jump the queue all the time and will push past you to get into public transportation first regardless of if they are crushing children or pregnant ladies/ disabled etc...

The US:

• How little people walk so the lack of sidewalk and street lights as well as how shocked people looked everytime they saw me walking from my house to the mall (30 minutes walk) and would stop to ask me if "everything was okay?" and/or if I needed a ride!
• The amount of churches that can be found in a 10 miles radius
• How people think "honey", " love", "darling" are totally professional ways to adress customers (and the overall 'too nice to be true' that I found in quite a lot of americans, though not all).
• How much you get for your money at the supermarket.
• Getting carded for absolutely everything including when buying a dvd or video games.
• Stores open at everytime of the day/night

Australia:

• How sexual harrassment in the streets doesn't seem to be a thing (which is amazing!)

-How shoes are optional and flip-flop/thongs are appropriate shoes for all occasions!

• How many times someone can say "mate" in a sentence and how "cunt" is only an insult if not preceeded by anything else.
• How every bug seem to be 3 times the size of an average bug in Europe.

The Caribbeans:
-How people survive driving anywhere ( I think the driving there was worst than rome!)

• How everything goes at a muuuuch slower pace than the average " in a minute" never actually mean "in a minute".
• How slavery seem to still be a thing and how middle class doesn't actually exists.

Germany:

• How most people stick to rules (even the most silly ones) and look at you badly if you don't or are unaware of them.
• How everything is in German everywhere including touristy places such as museums where getting information in English would be interesting.
• How eco-friendly everything (and everyone) is and all the great initiatives people come up with to talk people into recycling and being more eco-conscious.

-How dog-friendly everything is and how common it is to see people with their dogs at restaurants and/or in bars. -How unflexible authorities can be and how quickly they fine or threaten to fine for minor things. One of my German friend was threatened to be fined if she didn't answer a survey after she had the flu about a month and half ago. -How passionate and vocal people are about social issues -How rare it is to find a bar/venue that take credit cards and how you need to carry cash at all times (I hate that!) -Shaking hands with everyone and not knowing when someone has become "hug material".

Uk in NZ. Been here 10 years.
Top sheets under duvets. New Zealanders have really fancy duvet covers which cost a lot of $. There are no Ikea equivalents or even M&S to buy cheaper duvet covers, so they keep the duvet cover on and just change the sheets. Why not just chuck the duvet cover in the wash each time! I get all tangled in the top sheet when I visit friends and when they visit me, I have to put a top sheet on. Irreconcilable differences.

I really think the Irish tea thing has been overstated Yes, it will always be offered within seconds of you stepping foot into someone’s house, and yes, it’s common for people to refuse it once or twice before accepting, but it is absolutely not rude to accept an offer of tea the first time it’s made. Nor is it impossible to actually refuse said offer - I’m Irish and I don’t drink tea, and I’ve only once ever had it foisted onto me regardless. Maybe it’s a generational thing, or an urban/rural divide (I’m in Dublin), but I’d hate any prospective visitor to feel they had to refuse an offer of tea three times to avoid causing huge social offence!

I'm an American from the Southern part of the US living in the Midlands in the UK. I've found several things hard to get use to.

• That people walk more in the UK than they do in the US yet there's no unwritten, understood rule of which side of the pavement you walk on depending on the direction you go. It's just complete chaos all the time.

• British men are significantly less chivalrous than where I grew up.

• Adults don't say anything to children (who aren't accompanied by an adult) if they're being rude or out of order in public.

• It's rare that anyone says "bless you" after you sneeze, which is considered incredibly rude in the US.

• That good customer service is almost non-existent.

Moved to the UK from France

• hot being hit on/approached by men except in the night clubs. In Paris it was a daily thing, in the metro etc. It wasn't much of a nuisance to me as I was used to it, it was just routine, it didn't mean anything either (ie I know I'm quite ordinary) it's just how it is!
• people not looking at each other in the street/metro - mostly in London that.
• in the North - people offering to help you as soon as you get your little tourist map out! Very kind but I wanted to work it out on my own :)
• take-aways - too many!!
• people having their dinner on the sofa in front of the tv
• keeping shoes inside the house (why??)
• night outs starting much earlier!!
• people being friendlier but actually not that close. Ie people chat more easily (in the North) just as a matter of course rather than actually trying to be friends.
• shops being opened on Sundays and Mondays.
• not having a fishmonger or greengrocer or bakery nearby (I have now located what I need but in same areas it's been hard!)
• complete lack of quality bread
• the fact that dogs are rarely welcome in restaurants or shops.
• I think people judge others just as much but a lot of the time they are not as open about it as people in France. Although I'd say people judge other people's appearance probably a lot less over here (UK).

From South Africa, living in Scotland for over 10 years.

Still surprised by the card culture, every Christmas and Birthday - I still expect a fiver to fall out if I only get a card. ;)
The amount of tea drinking.
Not just 'popping in' to people without at least a week's warning. To be fair, I would have a heart attack if someone just pops into my house right now!
And I still get stay/live wrong followed by frowns and confusion.
Going back to SA for holidays there are many UK things I miss! Best of both worlds really :)

The first word should have been 'NOT' and not 'hot' LOL

Athrawes Because it's far more of a hassle to put a duvet cover on every time you wash your sheets than it is to simply put a top sheet on. Also, here in Australia top sheets are a godsend when it's 30+ degrees at night.

Oh yes the cards!!! The bloody cards! LOL
And it's a shame people don't just drop by to others houses like that, I agree, it's more common (I think, certainly when I was a kid) in France.

My colleagues in Glasgow always used to say “see you later” when I left work for the evening. I kept saying “no, I won’t see you later, I’m going home now”. Took me a week or two to work out it meant “see you tomorrow”...

Now live in the Netherlands. Major gripe is the total lack of respect to folk getting on/off public transport. There’s no sense of letting people off first and then getting on nicely. It’s everyone for themselves. Been here for years and still grips my shit.

Re the popping not popping in... I don’t know if that’s a class thing or an area thing or what, but it’s totally normal where I am to just turn up to see people.

I’m always a bit shocked now here that it seems not to happen everywhere... or that people don’t even answer the door if they’re not expecting anyone.

Though tbh half my visitors just walk in anyway, lol

Now live in the Netherlands. Major gripe is the total lack of respect to folk getting on/off public transport. There’s no sense of letting people off first and then getting on nicely. It’s everyone for themselves. Been here for years and still grips my shit.

I noticed this in the UK, to be fair. It stood out to me, because where I'm from, it's absolutely custom to stand back and let people off first. In the UK, it seemed like everyone crowded the doors and then sandwiched in while people were still getting off.

Also, I don't understand standing to the right on escalators etc. when you drive on the left. Seems backwards to me.