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Expats, tell me what aspect or social norm of your new country was strange to you?

993 replies

AjasLipstick · 18/03/2018 06:53

I am a Brit in Oz and for me, the hardest thing to get used to was Sunday trading hours being like the UK in the 70s.

The weirdest thing was how much less formal people are...kids are dressed very informally and parties for children never have kids dressed up in party dresses but in shorts and t shirts. I like it now I'm used to it though.

OP posts:
dancerdog · 18/03/2018 16:44

Curlyshabtree I think you might have misheard, it's a 'piece and cheese'.

Or, a piece and sausage, etc etc

Teufelsrad · 18/03/2018 16:45

Completely unscientific 'study' but some years ago when I went on holiday surrounded by several hundred Aussies and Kiwis(In Europe) there was a noticeable difference between the Aussies and Kiwis. The Aussies were much colder and standoffish, they kept themselves to themselves, but the Kiwis were incredibly friendly and pleasant.

I dare say that you'd get a completely different result if you took another group of several hundred Aussies though.

dancerdog · 18/03/2018 16:47

Teufelsrad I see I cross posted there! Also for info for anyone who cares, taking your 'piece' to school in the West of Scotland means a packed lunch, not a gun.

Unfortunately 'packed lunch' is increasingly common.

Teufelsrad · 18/03/2018 16:51

I've always called it a packed lunch. We did have a play piece though(Snack that you ate during break)

Flockoftreegulls · 18/03/2018 17:04

The rinsing dishes thing keeps coming up, I have always rinsed. I wasn't aware of this at all!

soulrider · 18/03/2018 17:13

Yes, there were arguments amongst my house mates (all UK nationals) between the rinsers and non-rinsers. I never assumed one way was the default British way.

Lweji · 18/03/2018 17:15

The rinsing vs non-rinsing must be an UK thing. Where else is there that divide?
Same for baths.

Lweji · 18/03/2018 17:16

Which reminds me.

It surprised me going to the UK that there were bathtubs without showers. Shock

Kismett · 18/03/2018 17:18

Our bath has a strange sort of shower hose down at the level of the taps. The wall isn’t tiled fully so can’t take a standing shower. I don’t understand why it wasn’t made a full shower in the first place!

Golondrina · 18/03/2018 17:23

I agree with quite a lot of the Spain stuff except the after school activities. My kids do a couple each and we live in a small village. It's very very common.
Also, the doctors is computerised mow, although people do still find out who is the last in the queue.

CookPassBabtridge · 18/03/2018 17:25

Jordan, Middle East- being fed huge amounts, and if I cleared my plate they would take that as a sign I was still hungry and fill the plate again! The trick was to leave a little bit. The food was so beautiful though so I never minded the pushiness. They just love feeding people until they explode.

Curlyshabtree · 18/03/2018 17:27

Was definitely piece of cheese. It was 25 years ago in the Highlands if that makes any difference!
I also remember a guy who was looking for his piece box - I thought it was some collection box for a peace organisation.....

laddylonglocks · 18/03/2018 17:29

Also in Jordan- little shower hose next to the toilet- AMAZING! I have never felt so clean. I installed one in our toilet in the UK as I can see how just using toilet paper is gross.

All shops, schools, doctors, dentists, petrol stations etc have big pictures of the king displayed, they adore him.

AnElderlyLadyOfMediumHeight · 18/03/2018 17:29

I love the different regional greetings in Germany, and the dialects in general. I've lived in different places and have friends all over and I love all the 'Moin' and 'Gruß Gott' and 'Tachchen' (in Berlin) and so on. Dialect and accent is (mostly) much less of a class issue than in the UK, and although there's rivalry and piss-taking between regions/dialects, you'd never hear the kind of snobbery you sometimes get on threads on here about people not 'speaking properly'.

madamedepoppadom · 18/03/2018 17:39

Ifkip I've heard about that Irish having to refuse tea three times thing before and I've often wondered... what if you don't actually like tea? Is there an accepted way of telling your host that so you don't keep getting asked?

I've spent quite a lot of time in Austria, and apart from the popularity of slippers that has been mentioned already, the things that struck me most were:

You don't get invited to people's houses (or more often flats) unless you've known each other well for a long time. They're more likely to suggest meeting up in a café. This doesn't mean they don't like you, it's just their way.

If they even suspect that you might be an English speaker they will often insist on speaking English to you, even if you answer in quite good German.

Tea and coffee are not automatically served white (I don't like them white anyway, but if you do, it's worth knowing). White coffee is called brown coffee (einen Braunen).

Sweet dishes are sometimes eaten as a main course, especially at lunchtime.

A lot of snow is really not a big deal.

Not much is open on Sundays, except in very touristy areas.

"Palatschinken" is nothing to do with ham (Schinken) - it's pancakes. So you don't need to throw up your hands in horror if someone offers you some with ice cream and chocolate sauce!

People used their titles and qualifications all the time. You might see an advert that says "room to let in flat-share, contact Engineer So-and-So" or receive a wedding invitation saying that Heidi X is marrying Holger Y, MA.

madamedepoppadom · 18/03/2018 17:42

Elderly I love it when "Grüss Gott" gets speeded up so it just sounds like "Scott!"

userofthiswebsite · 18/03/2018 17:42

This is such an interesting thread...
Lived on the edge of Paris for a little while and always taken aback by the supermarket closing for 90 mins as a lunch break.
Never imagine that happening at Tesco.
Getting odd looks when carrying drinks on the Metro etc rather than sitting in a cafe and then doing the next thing in your day.
Always having policeman with scary dogs waiting on the platforms when you'd get off the late trains.

doraexploradora · 18/03/2018 17:45

the amount of take away food and the relative mountain of rubbish this produces was a shocker for me

itstimeforanamechange · 18/03/2018 17:47

I think something that struck me quite a lot when I was in Germany was the fact that there is more of a community feel than here.

People build their own houses with help from their families and friends.

They don't always use removal companies, their friends help them move.

And they have rotas to clean the common parts of flats, rather than paying cleaners.

And you have to clear the pavement outside your house when it snows. I don't know what you do if you are elderly/infirm, I guess it means you have to get on with your neighbours and get them to do yours too!

doraexploradora · 18/03/2018 17:47

oh sorry also the importance of Christmas! And I come from a very Catholic country!

PanPanPanPing · 18/03/2018 17:59

"your response to "alright" is either "alright" or "hi/hello"! So when my NDN says "Hi Mere, you all right?" is that still just a greeting? And I should still reply just with "all right" or "Hi"?"

This is going to get a bit more complicated, MereDinto!

If someone says, as a greeting just the one word, "alright", then you can respond with "alright" or "hello". If they say "are you alright" then your response should/could be "yes, fine thank you, and you?"

Hells bells, I'm confusing myself now Grin

dancerdog · 18/03/2018 18:02

Teufelsrad Maybe my corner of darkest (North) Lanarkshire then!

Butchmanda · 18/03/2018 18:12

Oh, great thread.

I spent my formative 20s in northern Italy. Sooooo many things I struggle to remember them all. Here are a few:

  • saying buongiorno/buona sera upon entering and exiting the lift in apartment block and office block even though you might not know the people in it. Lovely. All the kids do it too.
  • lunchtime closing. But staying open longer in the evenings, especially food shops on a Saturday. Handy for combining shopping with an aperitivo. Some food shops opening on a Sunday morning - have to get that fresh pasta fresh. Fabulous.
  • medicines dispensed in suppository form. Jesus. I was perpetually terrified of going to the Doctor. Used to save up my ailments for my trips back to UK.
  • tutting isn't a sign of annoyance, but a sign of a bloke trying to come onto you. WEIRD.
  • all the rules around food. What you can / can't eat, and when you can / can't. Everyone's Nonna has the best recipe for pesto/ragu etc etc. Great. Love a passion for food.
  • non-existent or disgustingly dirty public toilets. Often toilets in restaurants equally bad, even quite posh restaurants.
  • the whole bidet thing. Weird but actually quite useful.
  • attitudes towards contraception. Scary. Withdrawal followed by a wash in the bidet is absolutely fine. Apparently.
  • leather mini-skirts are fine. Even on old ladies. (This caught me out when I came back to the UK as my new work colleagues thought I must be into bondage as I had a black leather mini skirt)
  • slapdash attitude to queuing. God, I hated that

Happy memories.

EnormousDormouse · 18/03/2018 18:16

Brit in the Middle East

  • how far behind it is for internet based services (banking is crap, telecoms is crap, shopping in its infancy) and costs me 3x as much for internet as in the UK.
  • how glam lots women are under their abayas (very well groomed, full makeup, designer clothes and heels; vs me schlepping around in linen cutoffs and t shirts with my roots showing)
  • having to be very flexible with tradesmen about time - everything is 'tomorrow, insha'Allah'. This usually means not tomorrow.
A special variant of this is 'yes, inshallah' while being accompanied by a sideways movement of the head. This definitely means 'no', but it would be impolite to actually say the word 'no'.
YenneferofVengerberg · 18/03/2018 18:20

Coming to the UK from Finland as a child, the small talk thing was kind of a shock to the system. It's just not something that's really done there. Talking to strangers is unusual unless you have something specific to say to them. Or standing near strangers. Or looking at them.