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Expats, tell me what aspect or social norm of your new country was strange to you?

993 replies

AjasLipstick · 18/03/2018 06:53

I am a Brit in Oz and for me, the hardest thing to get used to was Sunday trading hours being like the UK in the 70s.

The weirdest thing was how much less formal people are...kids are dressed very informally and parties for children never have kids dressed up in party dresses but in shorts and t shirts. I like it now I'm used to it though.

OP posts:
Devora13 · 22/03/2018 09:06

Traditionally, the bride's father would cover all wedding costs and this would include food and drink. Nowadays, with more young people financing their own weddings, and drinks being so expensive, this has changed. Never been to a wedding and had to pay for my own food though! It does happen at birthdays, but I tend to pay for guests.

Devora13 · 22/03/2018 09:11

Kissing on cheeks-varies in different families/regions. It can be a bit false in some cases, like the air kissing.
Being two faced, i.e. polite to people's faces then character assassination. Can't abide it. Says far more about the person doing the insulting in my opinion (avoid them like the plague). Unfortunately, some seem to think the thing to do is to pull down the good fortune, achievements and character of others. This has sadly become an increasingly English trait.

PetitTorteois · 22/03/2018 09:12

Are you sure you were/are in the UK, or do people assume you're from "Europe" and think you want the kiss greeting?

Yep, I'm pretty sure I'm in the UK. I do sometimes get confused and wonder in which country I live but then I see a Royal Mail van, or hear people speak English and all is clear again.

Also, my British (SE) friends kiss on cheeks, my in-laws, my colleagues so it has nothing to do with me being from "Europe".

StickStickStickStick · 22/03/2018 09:18

Wow I've not seen cheek kissing in the UK (except my Spanish friend) and I've lived all over the place! I was going to day must be family custom but colleagues doing it would be seen as Quite Weird wherever I've worked!

Possibly an upper class London thing?

Natsku · 22/03/2018 09:21

I've seen cheek kissing in the UK and not in any posh circles, just overly friendly drunken circles Grin

ThisIsTheFirstStep · 22/03/2018 09:22

I definitely have groups of UK friends who cheek kiss but it’s def only people who know each other well.

Natsku · 22/03/2018 09:26

Just remembered another one here in Finland - the concept of Talkoot. Whenever I lived in apartment buildings or even when I was living on a terrace, at least once a year the residents would be asked to join a "talkoo" to all work together and make the garden areas nice (weeding, planting flowers etc.). Stems from an old tradition when people built their own homes they would ask their friends and neighbours to help with parts (like doing the roof for instance) and then all eat and drink together afterwards in lieu of payment.

PetitTorteois · 22/03/2018 09:26

How bizarre! I genuinely thought that's what everybody in the UK does....

OlennasWimple · 22/03/2018 09:27

My UK friends kiss if they know each other well - not when first meeting someone or in a professional context

My DS's South American friends cheek kiss me to say hello - poor DS never knows whether to do the same with his friends' mums or not (he's very English, so usually goes with a slightly embarrassed "Hi" instead)

Rinceoir · 22/03/2018 09:28

When I moved to the UK from Ireland I didn’t realise how small funerals were. A close family member of my boss died soon after I moved. I was talking to team, and said I was happy to cover so others could go to funeral. Apparently English funerals are very different to Irish!

LucreziaBoredYa · 22/03/2018 09:33

I concur. I Cheek-kiss with good friends but not someone I've just been introduced to Grin, like in France.

PetitTorteois · 22/03/2018 09:43

Well, a couple of weeks ago I got cheek-kissed by my (very English) new colleague. I guess I've been very unlucky in that respect.

TempusFugitive · 22/03/2018 10:24

Rinceoir, i hate it though, being irish and feeling shit that i didnt go to the funeral of somebody i never felt close to. I usually choose not to go and then feel shit.

TempusFugitive · 22/03/2018 10:29

We have cheek kissing galore here though. That onr i dont mind.

Taking a day off to go to funeral of somebody in their 80s who ive met twice.... i am a self confessed bitch but i hate it. Will i go to hell?
Empty pews at my send off!!

adorkableme · 22/03/2018 10:32

Nor do many Americans. Never had to carry pepper spray or anything considered as a weapon or felt I needed to even when living and walking around big cities, such as Chicago and NYC in the middle of the night. I used common sense of course, but never felt the need to have a weapon nor do I know many friends and family that did.

FlatKraken · 22/03/2018 10:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LucreziaBoredYa · 22/03/2018 10:51

No air-kissing here. Lips definitely brush against receiving cheek!

But agree you get the air-kissing with luvvies and Real Housewives types.

AnElderlyLadyOfMediumHeight · 22/03/2018 12:01

Stickx4 - there isn't as much moving around for work as in the UK. People in trades and similar jobs tend to stay where they are for life. Professionals may move around, but if they consider this likely at any point they won't build/buy a house and will rent instead (which of course is a perfectly reasonable option here. We are planning to be here for the next decade at least, but have chosen to rent because I would be terrified of buying and not being able to sell again). Or if it's an unexpected move late in a career many will weekly commute. We are a complete oddity round here for having moved here from out of area. Big cities are different, obviously, at least to a degree.

A talkoo sounds a bit like an East German subbotnik - it's no longer called that but the concept definitely survives. Dc's kindergarten holds a tidying-up-the-garden day once or twice a year (spring/autumn) for parents.

SimonBridges · 22/03/2018 13:08

I was thinking about the not rinsing after washing up thing. I don’t rinse. I think it is a generational thing.
The reason people didn’t rinse traditionally was that no one ever did in the adverts for one and the whole thing with having two taps.
Most people only had a single sink. If you rinsed everything then your washing up bowl would fill with cold water

brownelephant · 22/03/2018 13:23

carpets in bathrooms. I was Shock when I realised that you can still buy it in shops. just so weird. tiles for bathrooms only.

separate hot and cold taps. so unpractical und unhygienic.

houses that have no shower. not even over the bath. again separate taps. and such low water pressure that running a shallow bath takes half an hour.

CheeseyToast · 22/03/2018 13:42

Lived in several countries and am chuckling at many of these. The first few weeks somewhere can be baffling!

I'm the UK, it took me a long time to understand the goodbye carry on, that is, when someone says they're going, they don't actually leave. They say it at least 3 x before getting up and going.

And that when you ask directions, it's like - up the road to WHSmith, left then when you see the station, look up and you'll see a tall chimneypot - the white building to the left is the shop you're after"
as opposed to, first left then 3-4mins walk to number 72.

I never understood the tea round thing either. I once worked a week at a place where they did tea rounds approximately every hour. As I didn't drink tea and because I was new and no one spoke to me, I didn't partake. On the Friday, a guy plunked the tray on my desk with 9 cups and said, "About time you did the tea" so off I went to the kitchen (which I'd never used) with cups for people who didn't speak to me, to make orders that I couldn't remember.

I couldn't quite believe their pettiness and decided it was not a work environment I wanted to stay in.

In the States I'm always freshly surprised by how formal greetings can be - yes Ma'am etc, and "Welcome to the United States of America!" even from the grade school teacher Smile

BitOutOfPractice · 22/03/2018 13:46

I'm a Brit but spent a lot of time in the NL and found them to be incredibly blunt which, to an English person used to beating around the bush and using euphamisms, seemed quite rude at first but refreshing I guess

Snacks! Fried snacks! Nutritionally crap but oh so good!

Indian food is very rare but Indonesian is very common. Don't think I've ever seen it in the UK. A reflection of our histories I guess

The Dutch dress much more casually than Brits. Very rare to see a woman in heels

BitOutOfPractice · 22/03/2018 13:47

Oh and everyone kisses everyone three times in the NL. Arriving and leaving anywhere with a few people present can be quite long-winded

Sarahlou63 · 22/03/2018 14:01

The air kissing reminds me of a funny story. I live in Portugal and host volunteers (mainly) from Europe to help look after our animals (horses, etc). We had a young woman arrive from the USA - not only her first time out of America but her first time out of deepest Winconsin. So she arrives, tired, disorientated and a bit scared, only to be kissed firmly on both cheeks by a gorgeous German woman. The look on her face was priceless!

YoloSwaggins · 22/03/2018 14:16

Ah the washing up bowl!

So gross! Everything swimming in brown food-water. I wash and rinse everything under running water, problem solved!

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