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Expats, tell me what aspect or social norm of your new country was strange to you?

993 replies

AjasLipstick · 18/03/2018 06:53

I am a Brit in Oz and for me, the hardest thing to get used to was Sunday trading hours being like the UK in the 70s.

The weirdest thing was how much less formal people are...kids are dressed very informally and parties for children never have kids dressed up in party dresses but in shorts and t shirts. I like it now I'm used to it though.

OP posts:
Graphista · 19/03/2018 19:33

Namechanger - yes! The last time I came back there were loads of new coins, tons more tv channels (Sky etc were just taking off when I left), prices had rocketed (first grocery shop nearly gave me a heart attack! It was almost 4 times what it had been in Germany), loads of new brands I didn't know plus brands I loved had disappeared, motorways seemed achingly slow etc

BrownEyedGirlv2point0 · 19/03/2018 19:38

American here visiting UK...

Going to restaurants is very difficult for me. Having to flag down the waiter/waitress to order food.

Tipping seems to be optional and not expected from most. I gave a taxi driver a tip and she gave it back to me!

Faith7777 · 19/03/2018 19:59

Zuluwarrior - I’m guessing you meant that post for South Africa and Africa the continent 😳😳 ??

Faith7777 · 19/03/2018 19:59

NOT Africa I meant 🤣

Gennz18 · 19/03/2018 20:04

The supervision of kids one seems to be peculiar to the UK or is it a London thing? I remember being very surprised when we walked our 5 y.o nephew to school (in a very MC naice safe area of London) and we got to the gate, I said "ok DN bye have a nice day" and turned to go and SIL said no we had to wait and mill around until the bell went for class! Is that required by the school or just a parental convention? Here in NZ you just drop them at the gate and go. Must make getting to work on time a mission.

FlindersKeepers · 19/03/2018 20:13

Brit in Bavaria with Australian partner here since 1999.
What is still bizarre:
The concept of personal space. No that shopping basket will not fit up my bottom, madam.
Fucking Spargel.
Buying small pumpkins as decorations where they sit decomposing for months, this has led us to call autumn the "season of rot."
Beer is a breakfast food.
Organic everything plus cigarettes.
The knocking on the table in lieu of applause.

Am enjoying the Dutch ones listed here, very gezellig. And true.

My first visit to NZ was a shock, after Germany I thought shop staff were chatting to me much as they thought I was a shoplifter or something... Grin

LadyFlangeWidget · 19/03/2018 20:14

Brit in rural italy..Religion involved in everything. Nuns being my kids teachers at nursery school. That everyone smokes and there's zero awareness about the diseases it causes. The terrible access to doctors surgery... you go for a prescription and waste two hours waiting your turn in a stuffy room in a comune building..for a 3 minute appointment. But the pediatrician sustem is faultless.

Kidswear very smart.. if you don't dress your child in designer stuff your in a minority. The obsession with looking your best...fai is bella figura..god forbid popping out for milk without full slap and heels...and we're in a village up a mountain !

Redsky2 · 19/03/2018 20:23

Brit who lived in Italy

  • Three different police forces
  • The need to have id on you at all times. And be asked to provide it by officers randomly.
  • cake for breakfast.
  • separate plates for everything in the canteen. I always asked for it altogether on one plate to save the dishes!
  • going for walks in the evening. I loved this.
  • aperitifs. I wish we did this in the uk.
  • no appointments for GP. You just turn up and wait your turn.
  • no self certification for sickness from work.
Hakarl · 19/03/2018 20:31

English living in Iceland. Some of the many things that have surprised me in my 7 odd years here:

Intermissions at the cinema. The film stops in the middle for everyone to go to the toilet and restock on popcorn and sweets. I thought it was broken the first time it happened. The only time I had seen this in the UK was at a vintage cinema where they actually had to change the reel. It always stops at a really bad point as well!

Everybody is extremely tardy. I have heard that Scandinavians are generally very punctual. Well, Icelanders aren't Scandinavians! My immigrant friends and I joke that anything before 30 minutes late is 'Icelandic on time'.

Banks and post offices are closed all weekend. I find this very inconvenient and was shocked the first time I tried to use these services on a Saturday (not a Sunday).

You can only buy alcohol in the state-licensed offies, and they are not open on Sundays. Supposedly this is actually good for public health, so I grudgingly accept it, but it is inconvenient (I'm no alcoholic but I'd like to buy a six-pack along with my normal shop occasionally). Leads to some good laughs in the supermarket watching young tourists buying a load of 'léttöl', which is (very) low alcohol beer. Haha good luck getting pissed with that, mate!

When there is a child's birthday party, or a confirmation or some other such event a variety of refreshments will be provided, which is normal. What I find shocking is that people take one plate and fill it with ALL the food available, i.e. savory food and cake and cream together on the same plate and probably touching. I feel bad adding to the washing up by using two plates but I am not eating a cheesy bake with bits of cream on it or a cake with a bit of cheese sauce on it.

No shoes inside. It is very bad manners to walk into someone's house with your shoes on. I am used to it now and feel weird walking round inside wearing shoes, as weird as I would feel walking down the street in socks, but it took a little getting used to.

Almost everyone keeps their house at a truly tropical temperature. Energy is very cheap here due to an abundance of geothermal power but to my mind that is no reason to keep it so hot you can comfortably sit around in your underwear in January. My PIL's house is absolutely sweltering.

The tone deaf approach to race. Not universal by any means but my god the things that companies think would possibly be OK. For example a cocktail made with cream and stout that separates into dark and white layers called Apartheid! I mean Christ! How did it not occur to anyone that this might not be the best idea.

If it gets hot and sunny (a fairly rare occurrence and by hot I mean over 15°C) people just sort of wander out of work and this is considered fine. Obviously not all jobs as there is work that cannot be left but in my office and my DP's office people just sort of evaporate. If you stay at work without an urgent reason someone who has to be there will ask you in a scandalised tone why you are not out enjoying the weather. I am very much on board with this.

Cheese and jam together. Sounds so wrong but it's actually quite nice.

Salty liquorice. So vile. Until the day you realise that you've come to quite like it (you can't avoid it because it is hidden in everything).

No watershed or anything like it and people think that if you swear in English then it doesn't count. So expect to hear 'fuck' and 'shit' on the radio at 8.30 am and 'cunt' in a public family event downtown. I don't care about swearing so much but it does make me raise my eyebrows still.

The snorting. People do that thing where you snort up your own snot and there is seemingly no taboo over this. Politicians do it in the middle of TV interviews.

Congratulating people on their family members' birthdays. I found this so weird at first. In the UK we just congratulate the person whose birthday it is. Here, if a man has a birthday you say to his wife, "Congratulations on your husband!" and "Congratulations on your son!" to his father, etc, etc.

CdeS · 19/03/2018 20:49

When I arrived in the UK from France 30 years ago:
Reading newspapers when with others at breakfast at the weekend
Fear of heated arguments at dinner parties
Saying sorry when not at fault
Chocolate bars and crisps all day long....

Teacher22 · 19/03/2018 20:52

Certainlychoco, are you sure you found somewhere in the UK that ran out of teabags? I think someone was kidding you. No one runs out of tea in the UK. They would have to be put in the Tower of London and no one wants that.

JassyRadlett · 19/03/2018 20:54

Only veggies or children are permitted to opt out of this mind boggling system.

My mother was horrified by the single choice menu at my wedding. ‘But what if you aren’t keen on the main?’ She worried that it would seem very cheap/tight/inhospitable to the (many) Australians who came.

I do miss alternate drop - The idea being that your partner would probably be willing to swap with you if you didn’t like what was in front of you - or someone else might! It’s also a decent ice breaker if you don’t know people on your table.

MaggieS41 · 19/03/2018 20:56

Aussie on UK. I wish I had the time to read all these posts! I find them amusing especially the fact I agree so much with the Aussie in UK observations! But it all depends on which part of the country you live in too. I already see differences from the north and south here in the U.K.

So where do I start....

  • There are plenty of Aussies that don’t rinse either and could never understand it!
  • OP, you must live in a fairly small town as I couldn’t believe how early shops closed on a Sunday here in the U.K.! Larger towns and cities have supermarkets open until midnight on a Sunday and other shops will open until 5 at least.
  • Don’t get me started on the buying/selling house process!
  • drivers are very polite and love the way they understand the keep left rule!
  • the cards thing. Think of the trees!
  • no rsvp dates and no one rsvp-ing (not everyone but enough for it to piss me off!)
  • postcodes! Excellent system.
  • lots of processes that seem arduous and the attitude seems to be ‘that’s how it’s always been done’. For example when you get a speeding fine. Just let me pay it without having to send a form back confirming it was me, then waiting to get the actual fine!
  • you rarely get speeding fines! In Oz you’re booked for going over 3km (2 miles)
  • small talk with strangers - doesn’t happen unless they’re over 60. Love the oldies in this country. I’ve had conversations with neighbours or school mums, then the next day you get blanked! WTF?!
  • strange looks when I say thongs (flip flops), doona (duvet), singlets (vests), bathers (swimmers but please note in Oz each state will call them something different!)
  • potholes
  • I haven’t had children in Oz but the services here pre and post baby are great.

I could write a book! But one more thing! I always thought Australia was much like their Mother country until I moved here. People are actually very different. I read a lot of posts about the differences between the US and the U.K. and to me Australia is in between! (Best of each I reckon 😜)

teaandkitkats · 19/03/2018 21:03

Brit in Switzerland. No washing machines allowed on after 10 pm

teaandkitkats · 19/03/2018 21:04

Oh and you can’t buy alcohol (unless drinking in a bar or restaurant) after 9 pm!

StickStickStickStick · 19/03/2018 21:07

Do Aussies not do cards then? Might explain why my inlaws don't send birthday cards to the kids!!

Hakarl · 19/03/2018 21:08

@crunchymint - Interesting! When abouts were you there? Things have changed indeed.

No convenience or processed foods, everything cooked from scratch. Outside of the capital only meals served were fish soup, meat soup, fish with veg, meat with veg and sometimes beef with veg. The fish was always plain white fish. Occasionally the one pizza chain and a service place that sold cheap burgers, chips and hot dogs where teenagers hung out. - No longer true at all. Icelandic cuisine has both improved (plain boiled fish not usually seen anymore) and deteriorated if you like, in that convenience and processed foods are very popular now.

Teenagers made extra money by cleaning windscreens in service stations. - I've never seen this. Teens do summer work for their municipalities, though, like community service but optional and paid. My DP did a lot of building work as a teen as part of his summer work!

Service stations are places where you buy petrol, have a small supermarket and a cafe selling burgers, etc where teenagers hang out. Outside few big cities is main place to buy stuff. - Still largely true, though I would dispute the idea that there are ANY big cities in Iceland. There's Rvk, which is just about a city simply due to the amount of stuff it contains. Everything else, no way.

Few shops, people do mail order to buy stuff. - Plenty of shops in the capital area and mail order costs you a fuckload in import duties so people don't really do that. They wait until they are abroad then they go crazy! We just got an H&M and we joke that now Icelanders can spend their holidays relaxing rather than frantically buying t-shirts.

Very healthy life style with outdoor sports and soaking every evening in thermal baths. - Not many people I know go every evening, but 'swimming' (i.e. hot tubs) still very popular. Apparently we are the most obese nation in Europe, though, so I wouldn't say the average Icelandic lifestyle is very healthy.

Very high levels of sex equality, but not welcoming of foreigners living there. - There are still some issues with xenophobia for sure (not bad to be a white European here, though) and we are still number 1 for equality between men and women.

Very very safe. Safe to leave cars and houses unlocked and valuables in cars. - Yeah, basically. I've often left my house unlocked, although I wouldn't say it was exactly common practice. I do usually lock the door.

Everyone knows everyone, or at least someone in your family. - Haha, yes.

High level of alcoholism from illegal home brew, but not the violence associated with being drunk. - Downtown drunk violence is not at all uncommon. Home brew still technically illegal but in reality there is a thriving home brew community and nothing is ever going to happen to them. People are generally making nice beer or whisky rather than 'landi' moonshine, though. I'm not sure about alcoholism, probably similar to other Northern European countries I'd have said.

MaggieS41 · 19/03/2018 21:09

stick yes so please don’t be offended! Grin I hope they pick up the phone or send an email at least!

MaggieS41 · 19/03/2018 21:12

Oh! I have to add one more thing after I read something about service stations. In Oz when we get fuel and there’s someone behind us waiting we move our car and park it to let the person behind refuel rather than sit there and wait for for us to pay and leave! When I asked my husband why they don’t do this here he said people will assume you’re going to drive off and not pay! 🤔

StickStickStickStick · 19/03/2018 21:14

Oh that makes sense!! I never get why my husband (Aussie) is in a hurry to move off the court. I'm happy it kinda works that you take time to buy chocolate/pay next person moves on. I didn't get why the rush.

StickStickStickStick · 19/03/2018 21:16

He's like it about manoeuvres in the road too - I was taught once you started your manouver others needed to wait, but if he slows down to park and a car comes by he speeds off /doesn't turn right and we miss the space/ exit as he's in such a hurry!

TheClitterati · 19/03/2018 21:19

Kiwi in uk. - soggy chips 😱😱😱

Took a few years to get used to those.

Hakarl · 19/03/2018 21:19

people living very mundane lives

People have mundane lives everywhere, not just the UK. If you think everyday life Britain is uniquely dull you probably weren't long enough in these another countries. Nowhere is exotic and exciting all the time when it's your home.

StickStickStickStick · 19/03/2018 21:21

I didnt think mayonaise on chips was English- more European?

I had the water/wader problem first time I ate out in america.
Also tea. Offered to microwave iced tea in the south somewhere...

AjasLipstick · 19/03/2018 21:30

Gennz oh yes! The supervision of children at school gates! Or lack of it here in Oz freaked me out! I am still uncomfortable with the fact that the teacher just lets the kids out and goes home! If someone's parent doesn't show up, then another parent will usually hang around till they do but if nobody notices, then the child would be alone....expected to go to the office I suppose.

OP posts: