I just paid £17 to have my passport photo taken and it is NOT MY FACE

[HarrietKettle]

I mean, I suppose it must be.

I look like I've just been arrested for drink driving offences, under the influence, and it's 4am in a downtown NY drunk-tank.

This is going on my ZSL pass for my charges and I to visit the zoo (I'm a nanny) so not ideal.

I applied make up. I brushed my hair. I wore a jaunty shade. I skipped along to Snappy-Fucking-Snaps on Charlotte Steet, London as I thought they'd take a nicer photo than my local one in Acton.

The lady asked me which one I wanted, they were all shite but one didn't make me want to cut my head off, I said that one please, she robbed me of my £17.99 and I said I'd pop back in half an hour.

I SWEAR TO GOD SHE SWITCHED THEM to the worst photo of my face I e ever seen. I look awful, I have never looked so awful, and if that is honestly my face I'm cancelling the extortionate wedding photographer we've selected and having my one year old nephew take the pics, at least he's likely to chop out my head.

I now have to present a picture of me looking like a criminal with addiction problems to my new boss for the ZSL card, and I'll have 7 monstrosities left that will never see the light of any day.

I looked fine in the mirror beforehand. Fine.

My fiancé says I'm like a slightly less Chanel-ed version of Natalie Portman (we've had his eyes tested and they're grand but I know he's slightly biased) so WHAT THE FUCK happened. The image is seared on to my brain forever. And the godforsaken ZSL card.

Anyone else look shite when they thought they looked ok?

DISCLAIMER LIGHTHEARTED I know I'm lucky to have a face etc etc

After a really shitty day, this has cheered me up no end!

oh yes to the voice.

it's really weird

I feel your pain Harriet. I need to renew my passport but don’t dare in case that 25st, 19th century Russian peasant woman shows her face again!?

My MIL mentioned at the weekend that she'd had to have her driving licence renewed and couldn't be arsed sorting a new pic so found one in the drawer from 20 years ago and sent that in. She produced said document and I swear that photo isn't her. I mean I knew her 20 years ago and have seen photos from longer ago than that and I'm sure it isn't her. Even DH said "Are you sure that's you Mum?" Pic is of woman in her 50s or 60s with specs and blond or grey hair so theoretically it fits the bill. When we kept on about it she admitted she can't be sure it is actually her but assumes it is as she doesn't know who else it could be!!! Yes, really.

Just renewed NZ passports for me and family, spent $60 for three photos and my DS looked passable, DH not great but recognisable and I looked like I had a VERY round face and no neck. Went online and discovered passport service here allows you to upload digital photos and can do a free check first that they are suitable so substitued one that actually looks like me. Waste of $ on the originals but we know for next time.

My photo for my passport is the same. I look horrendous and am stuck with it for 10 whole years . The worse thing is the passport office thought I looked enough like my old passport picture that they accepted it
I console myself with the thought that the next 1 surely won't be worse and I might end up with a better looking 10 year older photo

Mine looks like a nervous ghost. Nobody comes out well in those small photos.

I look like a demented hybrid of Myra Hindley and Barney Greenway from Napalm Death in mine, you have my sympathies.

I look like I’ve just been wheeled out of a morgue in my passport photo.

I thought I looked OK - wore a bit of make up, had the pic done after spending the morning having my roots sorted at the hairdressers (regular appointment, I killed 2 birds with one stone while I was in town. I’m not that vain) and I still looked fucking awful

I think our local place has a dead person filter fitted to his camera - DD1’s is as bad. She’s going in a school trip next month and is having a kittens that one of her friends might see it

I look like a character on prisoner cell block H on my driving license. Needless to say when I came to renew my passport photo I got fresh shots. So I look like Adolpha Hitler instead.

I look like Rose West in my passport photo. It's an uncanny resemblance...

I went to the hairdresser and paid for a make-up session.

I look like a fat, suburban housewife, who was caught drink-driving after a little too much wine at the pub lunch she treated herself to. From the 90s.

My previous photo was black and white.

With make-up, there was little to distinguish my face from the background.

All you could see of my nose were two black circles where my nostrils were.

Dh just had his done. My teacher friend signed them and called up to ask if it was really him because he looked about 90.

My work pass for swiping in/out has to be worn at all times so hangs from my U2 Joshua Tree lanyard around my neck all day.
Fair enough, but the bast*rd in Facilities at work who took my photo printed off and made my pass with a photo with my EYES FUCKIN CLOSED and wouldn't do me a new one. Also for some reason I have a dark shadow in the photo under my chin to my bottom of my neck, it looks like I'm wearing Osama Bin Ladens beard.

I'm the least photogenic person I know and look shite in all photos. However, the passport before my current new one, I looked bloody gorgeous ( my mum, who kept none of my school photos, has that one up in her mantlepiece, literally the only photo she has of me) 10 tears and two children later, I look like a troll. Really, an actual troll. I only hope I don't look like that in real life or I will never have sex again!

Many years ago , when photo booths were put your money in and take your chances , I had bleached blonde hair, I chose the white background and the pics that came out looked like someone had substituted me for Humpty Dumpty. You can see I have hair if you look carefully but a quick glance and there's Humpty.

I look like I’m running with a Columbia’s drug cartel, and not very happy about it. So awful traveling on it.

Bobbi73 - is that 10 tears as I’m crying (not many!) or dis you have horrific birth experiences?

Oh I really needed this thread today. My ds has a slightly away the fairy’s look most of the time. And in photos he kinda looks a bit distant and generally there’s teeth and hair everywhere. Except in his passport. The photo was taken when he was 6, could easily be a 15 year old. He manages to look like the only photo they can find of the murdered before he got a swastica tattooed on his face, from his young offenders ID. You definitely wouldn’t leave that boy alone in your house. his granny who wouldn’t admit he looked at little battered after birth (bilateral haematoma, 2 black eyes and a cut the length of his forehead). When she saw the passport she said well there’s a boy that would rob you of the fillings in your teeth.

Think yourself lucky OP I look like my mother in my photo and she's been dead 9 years!

My granny slipped off the stool when she went to press the photo booth button. She looks like an alarmed Myra Hindley with a squashed head.

So glad to have gotten a new passport photo this year as DH and DCs claim I look like Myra Hindley in my old one! Even passport control looked at it for ages last year then at me then back again until I said yes unfortunately that is me thank god I've grown my hair! - the woman even said it doesn't really look like you.Not sure the new one is much better but at least I don't look like a criminal

Meant to say I've loved this thread haven't laughed so much in ages!

I had my passport picture taken the other day. She showed me the screen and asked if it was alright. I said “ well it looks like me so I suppose it will do. Unfortunately” I don’t think she knew what to do with the unfortunately part