Anyone want to come and mourn the reality vs expectation of new purchases with me?

[Swimminguphill]

I bought this beautiful jacket online. In my mind I'd look like Blondie in the 80s, very rock and roll and all round awesome. In reality I look like a giant angry teddy bear/yeti. I have broad shoulders and a bust although slim in general, and it doesn't do me any favours. I wanted it for ages and it's now sold out, and so the joy of getting it in my size just in time is sadly wasted. It is a beautiful jacket - just not on me! Anybody else want to come and mourn reality vs fantasy with me?

I worked with someone who had the top of her hair coloured light brown. She looked like she had a golden hamster asleep on her head.

My DH recently splashed an obscene sum on a navy cashmere blazer, which his tailor assured him would have me purring (his tailor hasn't met me).

Reality: 'Geoffrey Palmer is probably looking for that'

For my own part, I recently debuted a pair of red tartan trousers in the office, with a navy cashmere jumper and grey tasseled scarf. Delightfully wintry and festive, in a Wham-video sort of way.

Reality: an interminable day spent as the punchline to Rupert the bear jokes.

My dh sometimes wears a beanie hat. It makes him look like one of those photofits for flashers.

High waisted jeans make me look pregnant

The title to this thread alone made me laugh. I totally understand the feeling. Recently purchased a bunch of stuff from Gap in their cyber Monday sale. One of the tops reminds me of a bathrobe. It looked so lovely online.

Omg, I'm dying at "giant angry teddy"... Hahaha.

Right my Uniqlo ultra long wide legs are on their way. (Had to order twice - first pair nicked from my basket right at the checkout. It's wild out there.)

They are going to look sublime. I can't wait.

I have a fabulous grey fedora.

In my head I look like Jennifer Anniston or Elle MacPherson.

I went out in it and was TOLD I looked like Boy George......

I finally gave in and traded my beloved skinnies for a pair of high waist mom jeans, which I was going to pair insouciantly with a tucked in blouse and a pair of pointed flats a la Parisienne.

Looked pregnant or at least PMS bloated every single time I tried them. Went back to skinnies.

Tina Fey knows.

The smallest amount of frill turns me into Grayson Perry.

A few years ago I thought a long-line striped t-shirt and "city shorts" would be a gamine-looking summer outfit. I looked like I was wearing a man's Victorian bathing suit.

Had my hair cut into a chic bob a few years back.....DH refers to them as the Windy Miller years.

Loose elegant curls at the hairdressers for a much anticipated night out.

Expectation vs reality

The year I was 18, I cut my long hair (kind of bra strap length) into a shirt, choppy pixie cut. My hair dresser told me it would suit my “gamine” features, I’d look sophisticated and French. I was wildly keen on this idea- I had visited Paris a few months earlier, adored the Marais and was about to take my French A’Level. I would channel my inner Audrey Hepburn!

The reality of the look hit me the first time I saw Jay in The Inbetweeners.

Way back when I was about 21 I went to the local trendy hairdresser to have my shoulder length hair cut into a very short graduated bob. By the time the hairdresser had finished I had side flaps of hair that I could tie under my chin and the hair was cut so high at the back and, being very thick stuck out alarmingly, I’ve got a rather large nose..........from the side I looked like a pick axe.

Pissing myself laughing at these

I bought a Gap trench coat and a Breton top as wanted to look like a sleek sophisticated French seductress. I looked like Michelle from Allo Allo who had borrowed one of the airmen in the cupboards tops.

floisme
I've been told my trousers are on their way too.
I'm a really really excited.
And nervous.
I hope I don't look a pillock.
It's inevitable isn't It?

Patterned shorts playsuit for holiday... thought I'd look fun and well put together. In reality looked like an overgrown overweight toddler. And it was a nightmare to use the loo!

I have so many more but I tend to charity shop then block it out of my mind. Til the dreaded photos turn up!

Loving this thread!

We're going to look fabulous IJustLost.

We just have to believe

Denim dress
Expectation, - finally fashionable for the school run, perfect spring outfit, will show off curves and make my legs look longer
Reality - prisoner cell block h

Formal black pencil skirt

Expectation- smart office look, with a nice blouse

Reality - hips are different heights so skirt rotates with me madly rushing to toilets to pull it back when I notice the zipper approaching the front.

I learn this lesson then promptly forget it again when I see a really nice skirt and think "I haven't got one of those...."

No freaking way am I ever wearing high waisted jeans.

I bought a long padded waterproof warm red winter coat.

Expectation: Seasonal chic.
Reality: Santa sleeping rough.

I got my long hair cut into a layered bob.
Expectation: swishy hair aka Reece Witherspoon.
Reality: Noel Fielding