Cringiest thing you've witnessed at a wedding?

[Fourtwenty]

We were secretly sent the lyrics to the first dance and as a surprise we all had to stand up and sing it to the couple.

My toes were curling

One girl rushed for the bouquet, elbowing the rest of us who were doing it for fun out of her way. She then straddled her fella, who was already drunk on his back on the floor, and mashed the bouquet into his face, screaming (threatening!) "Us next Babe!"

Creemcheese that's brilliantly awful

Sorry sp Creemchez.

The best man tried to upstage the bride and groom by doing the world's most elaborate speech. There was a soundtrack, props, audience participation, live camera action on the big screen. He was quite the showman.

Just got to say I was best woman for my old pal's wedding and I wasn't despondent or in love with him. My soon to be DH was there. But the mother of the bride treated me like I was his ex girlfriend. She really didn't like me.

The groom's brother was a reasonably well known musician - not super famous or anything, but I'd heard of him. He played piano, it was excellent.
It turned out the mother of the bride was a fan.
Like...a big fan. Poor guy spent the rest of the night trying to get away from her.

When the groom, who I had liked up to this point, gave his speech, he spent half an hour talking about him and his best man. They'd been friends for many years and done lots of drunken 'hilarious' stuff together, all of which no one needed to know about. I started to wonder if he would have been happier marrying his bessie mate.

He never mentioned his lovely bride who smiled serenely throughout.

In our local paper it reported that the bride and new mil had a fight at the wedding and were locked up in the cells overnight. Also on the local police twitter page.

At my own wedding, my dh's two aunts were in the toilet when I had to go and they both looked at me as though they hated me and said nothing. Didn't know what on earth I had done but I had my own family there who loved me so I decided to ignore it. A salutary warning for the future I should have heeded.

I remember walking down the aisle and my family turned to face me and I recall their smiling faces. It was Easter and the church was decorated with flowers. A happy rather than cringey memory because nearly all of them are now gone.

Oh my God, some of these are chilling

I'm gutted I've never been to a wedding involving owls.

The worst one I went to was teetotal. The guests toasted the happy couple with wine glasses full of Robinson's barley water- the only thing there to drink. The FOG made a long speech about how the B&G were virgins, lingering creepily on the bride's purity and how his son would make her a woman later that night, boke. There was a lot of praying and talk of the evils of fornication. DH and I were not married but living together at that point, which they all knew...

My wedding had lots of cringey moments. The church had a very short aisle and we'd chosen a short piece of music but I was so nervous I dragged my dad down in about 15 seconds. He, very loudly, asked the vicar if we should "go around again".

Then one of the guests got hammered on prosecco and threw up repeatedly in my parent's pond. The large carp living in the pond must have thought it was Christmas.

And my mother spent the whole day telling people how expensive her outfit was and how she felt she was probably outshining the bride.

Well, now I really want to attend a wedding with owl ring-bearers and musical-extravaganza style surprise dance routines! It sounds fun!

The large carp living in the pond must have thought it was Christmas.

MissTerry - that's awful, poor parents of the girl who should have been there and wasn't, what an utter fuckwitted thing for the best man to have said! :(

I have a couple of cringeworthy FOTB speeches - one was really sad, he clearly preferred the bride's sister and spent the whole speech comparing the bride unfavourably with her sister. The reception was parsimonious as well - just a couple of rooms at a fancy large house, no actual seating and a very small buffet - little more than just canapés, in fact. No dance or entertainment. He REALLY didn't like her, bastard.
The other one, he had recently split up with the MOTB so there was acrimony on the top table anyway - he didn't refer to that but for some reason decided it would be a good plan to refer to the failed suicide attempt the bride had gone for aged 13, with junior disprin. Just not funny.

Another wedding I went to, the bride went ballistic at one of her drunk guests on the dance floor and basically told her to fuck off and learn to behave - mortifying for all, really.

I expect some people might have thought parts of my own wedding were cringeworthy, but I don't really care and I'm not saying any of them because they would be REALLY outing. People told me they loved it and really enjoyed it, but no doubt there would be a few sitting there cringing. Meh.

We have been to weddings overseas which sometimes have quite a different format to UK weddings.

The weddings we went to in Switzerland and Germany are very drawn out affairs with something happening between each course of the meal. At the German one, the groom's best friend gave a Powerpoint presentation with a slide for every year of the groom's life to date (he was about 36 when he married). No humour. Very dry, very full of detail and very "German". And because we were there as non-German speakers he did it all in English as well as German - lovely that he made the effort but sitting through 40 minutes of "On 21st Jan, Klaus was born in the Berlin maternity hospital, weighing 3 kilos after a 20 hour labour. The midwife was called Helga" and similar details TWICE was very tedious.

Also went to a wedding in France where the groom was Scottish and the bride French. They had organised a ceilidh band and there were obviously lots of people who had no idea how to do the Dashing White Sergeant or Strip the Willow so the band leader was talking you through the dances before starting. A very drunk, very loud and very obnoxious friend of the groom knew ALL the dances, dragged his poor wife up to demonstrate every time and every time did it totally wrong. He ended up having a row with the band leader in the middle of the dance floor while we all looked on.

We were at a wedding where one of the groom's friends canvassed all the guests and -bullied-- encouraged them to take bets on how long the Best Man's speech would last. The winner would split the pot with the B&G. I had to look away when she rather grandly announced that she did this at every wedding she went to, which had the unfortunate effect of making her sound like an amateur bookie rather than a valued guest.

Anyway, we chipped in as a result of having been put on the spot and thankfully she buggered off. Sitting at the reception listening to the Best Man's speech - which wasn't bad despite the fact the poor bloke was really obviously nervous. Until this awful woman then started shouting timings at him, which resulted in some of the drunker guests sighing and complaining that they'd lost the bet as they'd picked 8 minutes 10 etc. The poor BM was mortified and it completely shook him off his stride. She carried on heckling throughout the speech and after the third or fourth heckle, he ended the speech - it being so evident that actually he'd had more to say but was too embarrassed to continue.

It was so horribly rude and really painful to watch. The Bride's family were livid. The Groom's mates thought it was hilarious. They're still together but the mates are kept at arm's length these days. One amusing thing was that the self-important bookie doesn't seem to be invited to so many weddings now. There were 2 or 3 in the reception who were getting married themselves - all part of the same friendship group. Apparently she was pulled to one side and told that if she pulled that stunt at X's wedding then she would be removed.

When my dad married my dsm, they had a 50's theme, my dad and his groomsmen wore teddy boy suits, dss and I were bridesmaids and wore circular skirts, and dsm wore a vintage 50's dress. They tipped off the local press before hand and when we came out of the registry office there were cameras and they took pictures of us swing dancing in the town square and we ended up in the paper. It was incredibly cringey I was blushblushblush

Were you a teenager? As a teenager this would have horrified me but now I'm an old giffer I think "oh how lovely!" :o

I went to one wedding in a lovely bucolic country church with lots of well-off london types attending in very chic outfits. As we all sat there the vicar launched into a really moralistic sermon about how people like us inly turned up to church for special occasions like this and weren't true believers, and that essentially, God wasn't impressed and behaviour like this would result in us going to hell! I was that he'd ruin the happy atmosphere for the B&G in that way.

And one where the best man was the groom's brother and a lot of his speech was about how their dad (who was there) used to beat them all the time growing up! It was awful and I didn't know where to look. there entire family seemed to think it was hilarious!

The wedding where the groom spoke only about his new business partners and thanked them individually for how much they had helped him start up his business. Not one word about his bride.

The groom that played the recorder to his bride so she walked up the aisle to "You are my sunshine" played with breathy squawks and squeaks. I don't actually think that he knew all the lyrics.

The wedding where the MOB suddenly realised the time and made a scene because she was going out with her new man that evening so had to rush off. She actually hollered out to the bride to "hurry up and cut that cake so I can go"

Father of the bride:

"Well done to Bride for organising this lovely wedding and to Groom too who I know had a hand in it. Though as they've been living together for three years I rather suspect he's had more than just a hand in it..."

Though as they've been living together for three years I rather suspect he's had more than just a hand in it...

EEEEEEEWWWWWWW

I was in danger of making this list - luckily I asked for advice on MN before going ahead with my 'romantic' idea

Here Comes The Bride played through twice . No Bride. She walks up the Aisle in silence a few minutes later. Big elaborate wedding . All over in a few months.

Catholic wedding where the Priest knew they had been living together , thoroughly disapproved,and took any and I mean ANY opportunity he could during the Service to refer to his views on pre - marital sex .

Were you a teenager? As a teenager this would have horrified me but now I'm an old giffer I think "oh how lovely!" blush grin

I was 20, so still in horrified teenager mindset!

Worst best man speech ever, he just said once the groom drank too many red bulls and felt really sick. He didn't even elaborate or add any context, only saying that he "felt OK again after a while". Even worse, the father of the groom was so moved by the speech he started proper sobbing. Maybe they have complex issues with energy drinks, I dunno.

I was laughing so much people thought I was crying too so I got away with it.

My cousin was the OW. Her new husband had left his first wife about ten months into their marriage, having begun the affair with my cousin about four months in.

When we arrived at the wedding it became clear that every single one of his former friends had (understandably) sided with his ex-W. He had literally four guests on his side of the church - his parents and two grandparents. Five minutes before the ceremony began the vicar realised that no-one else was coming and tactfully suggested that a few of us on the bride's side move over to redress the balance.

He had behaved so badly to his ex-W that he couldn't find anyone to be his best man - even his brother refused. In the end the bride's brother, my other cousin, was placed under significant pressure to do it and reluctantly agreed. He managed to make a five minute speech about the groom despite a) barely knowing him and b) actively disliking and mistrusting him, but he couldn't resist a pointed opening about meeting him for the first time only a year earlier.

The marriage ended shortly after due to - you've guessed it - the groom's infidelity.

Another wedding that we went to, where the MOB disliked the Groom so much she'd arranged for the wedding cake to only have a Bride topper...