Cringiest thing you've witnessed at a wedding?

[Fourtwenty]

We were secretly sent the lyrics to the first dance and as a surprise we all had to stand up and sing it to the couple.

My toes were curling

None as butt clenchingly awkward as some on here, just naff though.
Naff signs everywhere, "take a seat,not a side", i want to vom!
"Dance the night away", next to a basket of crappy flip flops. Its just sooo tacky.

HollyJollyDillydolly was it a tiny bride who puked over her massive merengue dress with hand sewn gold embroidery on the bodice?

Think we were at the same wedding, if it was.

Gave me an aim for my own wedding "don't puke on the frock"

I was a cringy guest at one.

In my defence I felt fine on arrival and I didn't drink any booze at all but by the evening I was attempting to get a taxi home because I felt so ill and my horrible now ex husband kept on sending them away because he didn't want to leave (I was attempting to go by myself with drivers who knew me well so didn't even need him to come with me).

I became very ill very quickly falling over and apparently looking like a very very drunk person.

I managed to get in a taxi eventually and the driver took me to hospital where I stayed for about 3 weeks (swine flu and sepsis) it was one of the most mortifying experance of my life. I was trying to stay out of the way and get away and he was being a twat and dragging me back into the event.

More awkward silence than cringiest.

A friend's wedding. Her father's speech made no mention of her sister who was 'airbrushed' out of the family for getting married to a man her family (well, her domineering mother in fact) disapproved of. Throughout the FOB's speech, the MOB was watching him and giving him the evil eye whenever he strayed too close to mentioning the 'missing' daughter.

We lost count of the amount of spaces where her name could have been mentioned and I doubt we were alone in noticing it.

A mutual friend was sitting next to me. After yet another 'near miss' she turned to me and hissed "If 'Mary' was fucking dead they'd be including her, no question."

Oh and my own to previously mentioned husband.

400 guests I only knew 3 it was boring tedious and the groom spent the entire time either ignoring me or taking the piss out of me loudly to everybody.
So I waiting until nobody was looking went to the office settled up all the bills and then left with my 3 friends and we had a lovely time elsewhere

Went to one recently with DM. DM is best friends with brides mum, bride is her goddaughter, BF is my godmother, me and bride very close as children but hadn't seen or spoken to each other since early teens, so I was very to receive an invite.

Anyway, ceremony was beautiful and lovely, but get to reception and realise well over half the guestlist is made up of older Middle Eastern gentlemen and their wives. Very confused as neither B&G are from middle eastern heritage.

Gets to speeches and FoB opens with obligatory congrats to the couple and then spent rest of the speech thanking HIS guests for coming. Turns out FoB used his only DDs wedding essentially as a business function and insisted on inviting all his major clients and business partners as he was paying. All other guests were either family and a small handful of the B&Gs friends that made up the wedding party. Found out after from DM that we only got an invite because MoB had absolutely insisted on it. Felt absolutely awful for poor B&G.

A relative of the groom singing (very badly) with the band for about 5 songs. Cringe!

Lovely wedding in a glourious small country house however. We were given one small glass of wine to last the hour and a half before the ceremony and there was no bar to buy more. After reading the ceremony mini burgers etc were offered round however the waiting staff were apologetically having to tell everyone it was strictly one and no more. Then we sat down for a meal about another hour and half later and received a wonderful mitchlin star worthy presented plate where all eight of us politely sat waiting for the veg etc to come out. Only problem was the plate was it. Need.ess to say on the way home we got a McD.

My wedding last year.

The dj came as part of the wedding package but emailed me beforehand to discuss songs. I told him we loved all kinds of music except techno dance songs. He also asked if we had any songs we didn't want playing so I said there were three that had been played at a recent family funeral one was a song that is usually played at wedding receptions and the other was a popular one last year (all of you loves all of me). So there was a good chance he would play them but he said he wouldn't.

At the bottom of his email was a link to his (completely open) fb page and I had a nosey by the looks of it he was going through a very nasty break up and custody battle and was posting some really nasty stuff about marriage and videos of him burning his wedding album.
DP told me I was silly to imagine our wedding reception was going to be like the scene in the wedding singer when he screams at everyone for been happy.

So come to the big day he seems jolly enough until he plays the funeral songs I requested he didn't one after the other and my poor auntie is sat there at the first function she had attended since her partners very recent death trying to put a brace face on, he then played dance music for an hour and then put another of the funeral songs on.

The next day I complained to the hotel manager and she apologised and said "he's going through a lot at the moment" and knocked the cost of him off the bill.

I still get mad 8 months on.

Stripper from the stag do singing The. Circle of Life (badly) in the church whilst they were signing the register. The groom introduced her to the guests as such.

Was a completely crackers day.

The bride and groom had chosen a U2 number for their first dance. The dj put on the wrong song, out of all the tracks he played 'I still haven't found what I'm looking for' !

Agnes. What an absolute wanker. To deliberately play songs that were at a funeral and that he knew would upset someone who had recently lost someone. Words fail me

Agnes

That's horrible :(
What an arse!

Oh I'm going to add in DH's cousin.
Second wedding, teen children from the first - it was quite sweet but also quite cringey that they involved the children in the ceremony vows, where they agreed to accept DW2 into their family etc.
FOTB made his speech all about his business, about his partners, and about how he had given his DD and her new DH a start in life with jobs and house - nothing about her as his DD.
And then finally, the best man, when the B&G were leaving, said "and now let's all wish G and DW1's name a happily married life" - argh! Bride was mortfied and rushed the groom out. Apparently the BM had spent the whole evening saying to himself "must not say DW1's name, must not say DW1's name" so of course that was the name he had in his head and what he said out loud!
Oh and one of their sport team friends got so drunk that he smashed up the mirrors in the men's loo and was forcibly ejected from the venue.
MIL also got sick on champagne, but she was very quiet about it, only DH and I knew, so that didn't really affect the wedding as a whole.

A family member has been married twice. I attended both weddings. At both weddings the brides father told exactly the same funny story about something the bride did as a child during his speech. Everyone who'd been at the first wedding looked at each other, because we all remembered it from the first time around.

At another wedding a guest, who we later found out was off her face on cocaine, started dancing on one of tables during the night reception causing it to collapse and smashing an ornamental fish bowl in the middle.

This thread should be a classic.

At one wedding the best man got an Elvis impersonator to come in and sing a song to the bride and groom as a surprise . I happened to be near the bride and she was really not impressed. She was muttering"I f*cking HATE Elvis!"

To be fair I think it was a spontaneous, drunken decision because there was some kind of Elvis impersonator convention going on at the same hotel and the one who sang was actually very good. I think the bride forgave the best man as they're still all friends.

sockamnesty Er, far be it from me to ask, but did the part where you bailed on your own wedding get you to think that maybe the marriage was a mistake..?

Our vicar has banned owls and all other forms of falconry after one owl who was supposed to deliver the rings got spooked and flew into the rafters with them and wouldn't come down They eventually had to borrow rings off guests to finish the ceremony.

My own wedding when my father insisted we had a whole new set of photos done with his girlfriend and her kids. He basically wanted her to look like the mother of the bride. We went along with it to keep the peace

I think that DJ simply wrote a list of the songs he shouldn't play but forgot to note they were forbidden, so when he saw the list later he thought that's what they wanted.

Best man's speech referring to bride's virginity as like laying tiles - lay her right the first time and you can walk all over her for the rest of her life. Or similar. Bride and groom were in 30s, had been living together for 3 years and hadn't yet had sex. Already a bit odd, but then the speech. Urgh.

An aunt and uncle buying lightsabers and making the bride and groom pose with them on a May 4th wedding.

Cousins wedding where the groom's father made speech comparing the bride to Saddam Hussein. Another cousin in Australia where about a dozen bridesmaids and groomsmen entered the church popping up jazz hands style in various parts of the church to the theme if the king and I. Quite stressful as one could have popped up from under a pew. I was so stressed I accidentally shagged the best man.

I love the stripper singing 'The Circle of Life' :-)

I hope this thread hasn't put anyone with upcoming nuptials off :D