My husband has just caught me doing something terrible and embarrassing...

[PrettyRicky]

My DH came home unexpectedly and I was in the kitchen doing something I probably shouldn't have been doing but which I do every time I'm home alone.

I was having an imaginary interview on Radio 4 Woman's Hour about my new, hugely critically acclaimed novel.

DH walked in just as I was saying to Jane Garvey "That's an interesting question, Jane. The book's really a reflection on womanhood at times of crisis".

He was just stood there at the kitchen door and said "What is? Who's Jane?" and then looked around the corner to our dining table, presumably expecting to find someone called Jane who'd popped around for a brew.

I narrate my life (and those of my friends) a la Carrie Bradshaw....

Oh and I have a lovely big house on St. Jean Cap Ferrat that I run as an exclusive B&B where I personally vet the guests. I only want interesting people so that we can have lively conversations in my salon at soirées. I only do some of the cooking though. I have a chef, we work very well with each other and he's marvellous. I speak the most beautiful French now. As do the children. Who strike that wonderful balance between precocious and beautifully grounded.

in my head

Mad. As. A. Box. Of. Frogs.

It's a wonder I ever get any work done!

(is anyone else finding this thread strangely cathartic?!)

I am. I once wrote out my 'filmography', as well as a short piece about how I'm one of the most important actresses of our time. My mum found it. I still cringe 15 years on.

Soup I'm not a newbie. I've been around for years. I NC for this thread though.

Yes, it's very cathartic. Like therapy but the sort of therapy where your therapist is also nuts.

PrettyRicky You are a noob at getting caught tho. you were supposed to push the wooden spoon at him and ask for his opinion.

Damn it!

I don't know about just that post, PrettyRicky - the whole bloody thread has been like therapy to me! I'm an aspiring writer so I often have intense daydreams where I either AM alternate version of my characters or I'm their loving, brilliant creator, universally admired by all and being asked to analyse tiny details of my characters' motivations or my stunning plot twists.

Oh, and it makes me a millionaire with a gorgeous London townhouse with interesting, glamorous people dropping in and out, and I get to eat Nandos in my pyjamas.

I'm so glad I've found my safe space on this thread.

My DH frequently fails to respond when I've asked him something - his response is always 'Oh, I thought you were talking to yourself again'. Charming.

On a similar note, I had a dream the other night in which I'd been asked to co-host Woman's Hour with Jane Garvey.

Best. Dream. Ever.

The only problem was, I got lost in a shopping mall on my way to the studio, and woke up before the problem could be rectified!

PrivatePike Some of my colleagues know my username and others just know I'm on MN. At work, I'm well respected as a professional, sane human woman. Coming on MN and confessing about my imaginary worlds would sort of undermine that image of me.

Plus, I didn't know if there'd be loads of people saying "oh yes, I do that too" and it'd be fine. Or if it'd be an absolute tumbleweed and I've have to emigrate to the moon. So, I thought best to NC

Well now you know you're absolutely normal PrettyRicky

When I'm driving, I frequently explain everything to an imaginary passenger who doesn't understand traffic lights, neon advertising, etc.

Maybe I should put the radio on instead.

If I'm walking anywhere I always imagine I'm actually taking part in an Olympic show jumping event - complete with spoken out loud commentary and physical trotting action

When I'm walking somewhere or out for a run with music on, then I'm always in a very cool music video - I even do unnecessary stretches to add an element of interest. I also play out arguments with my co-workers when I'm swimming where I'm amazingly articulate

I'm definitely inspired by the Woman's Hour idea

Haha! I do this! Now that I have DS, he has now become my audience

Sometimes I like to imagine that I've been sent back in time to Henry VIII's time, to his bedroom, with a comprehensive pharmacy and array of surgical instruments so that I can miraculously cure his leg ulcer, explain how making and having babies actually works and stop him from turning into a hideous fat woman-killing manbeast.

I end up as his most trusted adviser. Think Mark Rylance but in pink scrubs. The other royal doctors end up hating me. It's great.

I'm not even a real doctor.

If you were my wife I would tell you that you're amazing and to sit down and write that novel,

CondensedMilkSarnies, oh yes. "Just look at that flying change of legs! Poetry in motion." "Yes, and you can't top that head carriage. Quite something."

I seem to be doing dressage rather than going for a run. But I'm so graceful!

I also compose Mumsnet posts in the shower. My arguments are brilliant, clear comprehension of the situation, flawless eloquence, superb reasoned responses. It's such a shame it doesn't work that way with an actual keyboard in front of me. Maybe I should sit in front of the computer and rub myself all over with a sponge

Now, I'm feeling as though I am missing out because I like to think of myself as a creative, sensitive and imaginative woman and I work at home so I do have plenty of opportunity but I honestly can't remember ever doing this.

Obviously, I am going to start.