My husband has just caught me doing something terrible and embarrassing...

[PrettyRicky]

My DH came home unexpectedly and I was in the kitchen doing something I probably shouldn't have been doing but which I do every time I'm home alone.

I was having an imaginary interview on Radio 4 Woman's Hour about my new, hugely critically acclaimed novel.

DH walked in just as I was saying to Jane Garvey "That's an interesting question, Jane. The book's really a reflection on womanhood at times of crisis".

He was just stood there at the kitchen door and said "What is? Who's Jane?" and then looked around the corner to our dining table, presumably expecting to find someone called Jane who'd popped around for a brew.

I sing what I'm doing. I sit at the computer singing my actions to made up tunes, e.g. "I'm looking for the fiiiiiiiii-leeeee. Where did I save the thiiiii-ing?"
I work in a school. The kids caught me. They think I'm a weirdo!

I have an ongoing daydream that I've been chosen for a 'mums today' style documentary and then gone on to present my own chat show (a modern hybrid of the big breakfast and tfi Friday with a bit of David letterman) and have spent many an hour rehearsing segments till they are word perfect ( annoyingly I had imagined a regular segment very similar to carpool karaoke thT James corden somehow stole from my daydream )

I'm so glad I'm not the only one!

I am frequently interviewed on Graham Norton for either my albums, novels or TV shows and movies (all chart toppers, of course) but I'm so witty and get on so well with Graham that I'm always interesting and people don't get bored of seeing me so often.
I'm also frequently on 'Tracks of My Years' on Ken Bruce's show.
Every time I cook, I'm on a cooking show. I frequently present a variety of shows from history documentaries to crime shows and I'm also at various times a lawyer or a CSI.

I can actually travel back in time. Usually, I am in some Game of Thrones type fantasy adventure, only with far less blood, gore and nudity. I can ride amazingly well, and am kick-ass in a sword fight, as well as not too shabby at a bit of hand to hand combat. I also appear to be several stone lighter, a decade or two younger, and much prettier. Time travel obviously works wonders...

I am a keen walker, and if I am alone I narrate the entire walk, as if I am explaining it to someone else. "So, when you get to the end of the dry stone wall, turn left and watch out for the bull in the next field". Keeps me entertained if no one else!

The signs manifest themselves early...

Regular small child : has imaginary (human) friend

Oddball small kid me : had not-at-all imaginary giraffe companion. Called Ostrabogulus. Whose top hat, cane and conversational skills lent him an air of sophistication sadly lacking in my younger brother.

As an adult, my work days are described in a strong Geordie accent by the "Big Brother" narrator.

I am an otherwise sane and well-respected Museum Archivist

Ha ha I love the fact he said I'll leave you to it then !

My dh came home and walked into the kitchen to me twerking to moves like jagger
😳🙄😀
He just turned round and walked out again
😂

😂😂😂

I win X factor quite a lot and give the subsequent interviews about my success . Mainly when I'm on long drives

Another one very grateful to have found like-minded people! Well done OP for making classics!

I'm so used to it just being me & the dog around the house for most of the day that I do tend to have conversations with her that sometimes get carried over to walks outside. It's really not good when I realise I'm still chatting to her when she's halfway across the park chasing a squirrel...

I think my excuse for 'explaining' why I'm doing something around the house to no-one in particular, is that it would be nice to think I was passing on my knowledge to the rest of the family, but they never listen to me even when they are physically there, so it really doesn't matter if they're there or not for me to continue pontificating!

I really would like to see the BBC commission a series of Planet Spudlet, as 10 years is a long time to wait for Sir Dave to get round to another series!

OP, are you me?

This has been very enlightening and made me realise I am not alone! I have had a parallel universe going on in my head since 1988. The only problem is, if something I like happens in the parallel universe, I play it over and over again from different perspectives (and some days I don't think about this other universe at all), resulting in 29 years passing in real time and only 3 years having passed in my 'other life'. So, my other world is stuck pre-Internet and pre-mobile phone, where the main characters still go to Blockbuster video and play on Sega Mega Drive for entertainment

When I'm running I listen to Hip-Hop and R&B and pretend I'm a super cool celebrity that's in training for a big event.

I sing what I'm doing. blush I sit at the computer singing my actions to made up tunes, e.g. "I'm looking for the fiiiiiiiii-leeeee. Where did I save the thiiiii-ing?"

I do this too, mainly for DD's benefit but she never looks too impressed I don't mind OH catching me doing that one though, I frequently sing what I'm doing at him. He occasionally does it too, only about what DD is doing instead of what he is doing, but its always to the same tune so its not that great.

I'm an amazing musician. I can play almost any instrument you can name. And I do on all my award winning albums.

I walk down the street like I'm in a music video.

I'm so famous, but so down to earth.

I have a whole other world with family and friends.

I think it started around 1987 when I went to secondary school, became obsessed with the Pet Shop Boys and imagined they lived near me (in Ealing for some reason. I've never even been there!) and were good friends (because obviously they'd have been friends with an 11 year old girl!)
It's carried on with whichever band/singer I've been obsessed with since (R.E.M and Madness were 2 significant ones)

Of course I wrote most of their songs.

In reality I can't play any instruments, and couldn't write a song to save my life!

Oh yes, I'm a regular on Graham Norton - the superstars get a huge round of applause at the start, but I get a warm round of knowing applause 'Oh Tractors is always good value, isn't she great' at the start, and then get a bigger round of applause than the big stars at the end. What can I say, my people love me....

I'm also a very good professional tennis player - my press conferences are always delightful and intelligent, especially during my current winning streak. I'm very gracious, but have a rapier-sharp wit that is unleashed on any journos that step out of line

^

I sometimes narrate parts of my day but in a Crimewatch style. "We are looking for witnesses, who may not realise they hold vital clues to where MrsWeasley last saw her house key etc etc"

. it's getting really bad Natsku. My Year 6 class will stop mid lesson and just stare at me, then I look up to see why they've stopped working and realise it's because I've been singing about finding the questions for their reading comprehension!
I've also passed this on to 3 year old DD who has picked it up so well we can have singing conversations with each other.
I'm also tone deaf by the way!

I'm tone deaf too! I would have loved it if one of my teachers sang unawares in class, you have a very lucky year 6!

I haven't read the whole thread but OP I think you should be on woman's hour ..this would make such a great topic

I've tweeted this thread to jane

PrettyRicky Surely now you've got to tell us what your novel's about???

I am presuming that you all know what it is like when you walk into a book shop in London and are just browsing the latest literary must-reads when you happen to bump into . You strike up a conversation in which you are devastatingly witty, intelligent, sensitive and insightful and never embarrass yourself by gaping at them like a goldfish because they're famous.

You are getting on so well that you go for coffee and that then turns into a meal and so on...

Oddly, this often ends not in anything sexual but in them becoming my new best friend. I think because this avoids any inevitably painful break up scenarios. Instead I am the person they phone for late night chats and to whinge about their celeb life to, and they invite me to premieres to confuse the paparazzi - "Who is the mystery brunette who has been hanging out with Kit Harington lately?"

Not sure this comes close to any of these brilliant posts but when I'm singing in the car I go for the full facial expressions, hand movements (only both hands at lights) and hair swishing. I will often sit in my car outside work so I can finish a song. Not so good in the summer when you have your car window open and don't notice the office window also open

Thing is, I remember when I was about 14 asking my brother if he ever imagined himself being interviewed or anything like that. He told me he sometimes pretended he was on the front of the local paper after breaking his arm chasing a burglar, during which he somersaulted over a fence. I laughed at him but inside I felt better about my own fantasies. He denies it now though .

I've noticed when my 5 year old son plays Minecraft he narrates it in an American accent, always starting with 'Hi guuuyys'!