What naice things do you make sure are visible to visitors

[Wiggles84]

Most of the time I have detol hand soap in my bathrooms but if I know someone is visiting my home I get out the posh L'Occitane matching soap and moisturiser stuff I recieved for Christmas a few years back. Surely people notice it's always the same amount of fullness each time they visit? Plus who has enough time to moisturise their hands every time they wash them with a toddler in the house. Jesus if Im more than 15 seconds having a wee he'll be banging the door down wanting to come in or he will have jammed quavers in the xbox. There's no time for the luxury of hand moistorusing. Plus it's a bugger keeping a grip on his squirmy hands St the best of times let alone adding lubrication into the mix.

When my guests leave, back it goes under the sink so as not to waste it.

I also like the fruit bowl to be bursting with beautiful fruit. We always have bananas and satsumas but for some reason a pineapple just makes my mundane life feel that little bit more exotic. "Ooh look at wiggles84 she must peel her pineapple fresh each morning for her delightful childs breakfast". No a quick bit of toast and a banana and we're off to start our days. No one's got time for that surely?

None of us even like pineapple

I know, I know I shouldn't care what people think but what little things do you project to the world so as to not to appear the frazzled dog tired slutten you are?

Put a bra on. It comes off as soon as I come through the door. I hate the blasted thing

Hairspray yes! I do! A towel is completely pointless in our kitchen but I still have one on the oven. I do occasionally use it to drape over hot food if the cat is about though.

I live that the sponge in the washing up tableau is a "lovely plump, clean" sponge.
Once when we had people coming for a bbq i was arranging the logs in the fireplace and dh said "They're supposed to look rustic, not perfect!" Hmmph.

Love

I can see the staff in Waitrose now...."what's with the run on method and tea towels? Everyone knows the liquids no good but these strange women keep coming in and chuckling at the checkout"

Disclaimer, I'm headed to wilko this afternoon for more set dressings....

A stunt pineapple wouldn't last a day in my house, OH loves making juice out of them.

Just remembered a case of my OH trying to make things look more high brow than they usually are - I was getting filmed at home (for a documentary) and OH wanted me to leave a history book on the coffee table, one that neither of us actually reads. I said no though in case I was asked about and would be forced to admit its just for show! I did make sure the lounge was clean and free of toys though, and put clean hand towels in the loo, don't know why as they weren't going to film the loo.

I unthinkingly added stunt pineapple to the shopping list and had a text from dh asking what on earth it was!

Ooooo look!

LOVE this thread! Nommed for Classics.

AbyssinianBanana
Which is the candle that makes guests think you're baking a cake?

stuntpinappleyou made the facebook feed!

I had to bake a fruit cake after I read that TheColonel

We are 'tragic' apparently!

FB always brings out the biatches

I can see the staff in Waitrose now...."what's with the run on method and tea towels? Everyone knows the liquids no good but these strange women keep coming in and chuckling at the checkout"

Next week:

"But they don't seem to have come back..."

It's when I read threads like this I know I've found my people

Now every time I pimp my fruit bowl (which I always sometimes do for visitors) I'll be calling it my stunt fruit bowl (with or without pineapple).

Like pp I'm secretly convinced it was my stunt Diptyque candles and Jo Malone perfumes left oh so causally out that sold our last house

Op, what happens to the pineapple when the guests leave? Do you chop it up and present it in a goody bag?

Love this funny thread. I won't be adding Mumsnet to my Facebook though having just looked it up and seen the sneery, bitchy posts about it. Must be AIBUers.

Afternoon all at your behest, we are going to move this over to Classics.

Congrats OP! How exciting

This thread made me giggle. I turn from a sofa slob into a proud housewife when I hear the doorbell and realise its someone visiting... I rush around lighting the candles, put on the LED glow bar behind the telly, coordinate the cushions on the sofa and check that no empty loo rolls are visible in the bathroom bin...I do behave a bit strange and my kids find it amusing that as soon as the visitors leave, I slump in my chair and say "thank god they've gone"

We don't have an ensuite so guests have to use the family bathroom with all our toiletries.

I go through it like a hurricane. All bath mats swapped out for blindingly white ones, and any evidence of actual hygiene needs tidied away e.g. toenail clippers, Zovirax, Always and contact lenses.

All my skin care items are brutally purged leaving only La Roche Posay and Bioderma. The clean and clear blackhead cleanser is banished. Any visitor must surely think I'm a semi immortal creature with no bodily functions except the ability to have perfectly "normal" skin.

Please does anyone else do this?

Congratulations stuntpineapple!

Elspeth I try and keep my bathroom like that all the time, it drives DP mad. He's forever rummaging through the cupboards to find his toothpaste.

Our only bathroom is downstairs though, and I feel like people who turn up unexpectedly and then use the loo, wouldn't want to see all our crap. But really, I don't want to look at it when you can see the basin from the kitchen!