Things you only learned about pregnancy and birth once you were committed

[BestZebbie]

Inspired by the thread about giving women more information about natural birth.... What happened to you/ your friends during pregnancy and birth that came as a total surprise?
I'll start with:
Temporary deafness in late pregnancy (probably fluid related, like swollen ankles)
Arthritis post-pregnancy, apparently triggered by it
Pains when the placenta implanted (meaning that I thought it was all going wrong)

Midwife at ante natal classes saying when your milk comes in you "might feels little uncomfortable". Uncomfortable?! It was bloody agony! And I could not get over the size of my bazookas, going from a 34A to bloody Dolly Parton! Thought I'd be like that forever. Cried and cried!

Gestational diabetes was a bit of a shock.
Being put off many different foods after throwing them all back up.
I found that my skin was more sensitive after my pregnancy, and foods that I loved before upset me now.

Crippling, all-consuming ante and post-natal anxiety. Conveniently put that to the back of my mind now we are considering another. Oh, and that nipple pain that you get from the cold - felt like they were being clamped, I remember being in Prague in November crying in the street with the pain!

Yy to the pelvic pain, it was crippling, woke me up through the night, had to get into downward dog wherever I was to relieve it, (it does give some relief as it take the pressure of the pelvis). I also had carpol tunnel syndrome, very weird infected rash on my arm that was disgusting, lochia afterwards, having to pee in shower, whilst holding shower head on my foo to relieve the pain and sting of the billion stitches. The feeling of having a vontouse .... Omg! I am very quiet in labor, never said a word with either of mine but with DD, my pfb, Jesus, the doctor actually put her foot on the bed for leverage, (gentle suction my arse) I felt like Braveheart and as they pulled her out, the doctors glasses were actually splattered with "everything" and I let out an almighty non-human groan, hence the billion stitches. My DS 18 Mrs later floated out in the pool like a scuba diver without any fuss 😉 I'm now pg with DC3, first dose of morning sickness at 2am this morning, the pelvic floor is non existent now, I sat bottomless on a towel on the bathroom floor and pee'd and vommed for an hour, my DH just popped a glass of water next to me, unputurbed and said "you'll be alright babe" didn't even bat an eyelid 😅 and we will, we'll have to, I'm gonna have 3DC's under 6! 😂

hell on earth, the baby blues particularly; the milky, cheese smell of everything (only ever buy lasinoh breast pads girls - everything else is just a cruel joke) mastitis, thrush, lochia, 3pad's needed bleeding, constantly showering afterwards as there's just milk and blood all over you.

The worst tho is the absolute devil who was the rude fucker on her night shift in hospital who said she couldn't give me change for £1 so I could get a cuppa tea at 3am postpartum - first birth, she should've just made me a cup of fucking tea!!!!!! - then she swaggered in at 5am and said "you should've told us you'd had a vontouse delivery, do you need any pain killers" 😡 fuck off!

Oooh. I had a ventouse within a c section and also had chunks of tissue ( mine I think) splattered everywhere. My side of the screen was like an abbatoir- fuck knows what the other side looked like...)

I would have killed anyone who prevented me from getting postpartum tea, I really would

Peeing and not feeling it in 3rd trimester. I only noticed when I changed at the end of day and noticed my underwear smelt like wee. We were at Disneyworld and all the up and down into rides was making me pee, I thought I was just really sweaty.

Pelvic pain beginning at 7 weeks and only getting worse. I didn't realize it wasn't normal, but I would shuffle around the grocery store like a snail, only to be in tears after 10 minutes and barely able to move.

Not just "morning sickness". I didn't realize it could be so horrible, I just thought it would be a bit of vomiting. I didn't know that literally EVERYTHING would stink and I wouldn't be able to eat anything because just the thought of eating would make me nauseous. The midwives gave me no support, they didn't seem to understand, they just said it's a bit hard, isn't it? I guess they didn't feel it was serious because I wasn't actually vomiting. Lasted 22 weeks and some foods I use to enjoy, I still can't eat and they still smell horrible and my DD is 4.

Ahhhh that's how you spell it! Thanks Fomal 😉 yes, she was evil, DH had just left me a few pound coins, I asked where I could get a cup of tea and she pointed to the vending machine, which only took 50p's. I asked for change and she said they're not allowed money on the wards. Why didn't she just make me one 😪 I honestly just sat and cried and tried to latch. Thanks x

That's first scan.....the most terrifying and exhilerating moment of your life.

The kicks - that you miss once baby is here, and that years later you swear you can feel even though you're not pregnant (must be wind)

That it is entirely possible to lose weight whilst pregnant. I weighed the same at my booking in appointment as I did at 40 weeks pregnant - I ate and ate and ate and just lost weight :-)

Your hair is thick and glossy and gorgeous (but it doesn't last once baby is here 😪)

That if you have trouble breastfeeding and baby screams in pain and feeds constantly round the clock, and there's a clicking noise, and when you try a bottle
It comes spurting out the sides, or when they stick their tongue out and is heart shaped at the end, or they're diagnosed with reflux, that no amount of rugby ball holds is going to bloody well fix it - get your baby checked by a qualified person (that doesn't necessarily mean a paediatrician either) as it could well mean they have a tongue tie!!!!!!

Oh Linds yes just contact the BFN there'll be a breastfeeding supporter near you who can check for tongue tie. Bloody awful (hugs) xx

Doctors are clueless to tongue tie

Yes, I had twins and my ribcage expanded and never went back. 34C to 38DD.

Utter fuckers rocking

I was very lucky to give birth abroad, with our own room and a little kitchen on the corridor where you could help yourself to tea and toast and yoghurt and stuff. Very civilised. I drove dh mad by sending him to get me a million cups of tea. Thought I'd take advantage of being catheterised to enjoy it 😁

Oooh, and that once you've had baby and for Months afterwards you'll be in the shower And you will Swear blind that you can hear your baby crying (and it probably isn't)

Hyperemesis. That you can be sick multiple times daily for nine months. That you can grow a human being on a diet of lemonade, potato waffles, and ice cream.

Spd. Your bones actually grind together. Turning over in bed was absolute agony.

Your nipples grow to the size of dinner plates.

That breastfeeding support on the postnatal ward may well consist of a midwife who stinks of fag ash repeated shoving your newborns face against your boob whilst telling you that "there's no such thing as a bad latch".

That trying to establish breastfeeding while recovering from a c section is actually easier than being pregnant with HG and spd.

I had a planned C-section for my first and was shaved. My pubes below scar have never grown back. Looks very odd.

Also I bleed a lot when cut, so they must have sewn me up really really tight - absolute agony when healing.

After my second baby, deliveted vaginally, used to have to pee sitting the other way round on the loo and pouring a jug of water over my DooDah whilst weeing for the stinging. Had episiotomy and a big tear.

Also again sewn up really tight, so when it was healing would really pull, like being stabbed with a hatpin up your fandango, owwwch!

My babies were both a bit weird looking too following birth, and I remember thinking, why does mine have to be the one with a cauliflower ear\weird shaped head? Wish I'd known it was pretty normal and would disappear as I am sure it contributed to PND with the first.

• Having a huge, bloated belly for weeks after c-section
• that the trapped wind in my arms would be the most painful thing about the recovery!
• the painful cervix bumps in the last few weeks from the head! Over in a second but stopped me in my tracks.
• how tough the sleep deprivation was in the first week
• his little yellow jaundice spotty nose

An umbilical hernia which looks horrendous and will need a small op after baby born :(

catty a 'pal' informed me that you were expected to be 'groomed down there' by midwives (utter nonsense, folks) and I remember the hell of trying to tackle my bits with a razor, already five days overdue, and pretty much shaving 'blind'. Trust me, at the final hour you won't give a toss whether your labia actually have teeth... Get. The. Baby. Out.

Pelvic pain.
Stiches (and trying to wee! Ouch).
Feeling weird inside after baby comes out... like all you organ's and ribs are all moving back to place.
Body being wrinkly and wobbly!
Never having a wee by your self again
Never having a bath by your self again.
Sleep... oh I miss sleep!

But with all of that the amount you love your children and how you would do it all over again :)

Wetting myself on the post natal ward because I waited 2 mins after realising I needed to go. Sneezing is still touch and go.

I have a UTI, I assume this is because my inconsiderate child had squashed my bladder and I can no longer empty it properly so have urine festering in it. Oddly have absolutely no symptoms and it's only because me routine urine sample showed protein so was sent off to be tested. Oh and your fart smells 10x worse!

I had horrendous pelvic pain in both pregnancies - couldn't walk for the last couple of months second time around. Also had insomnia and restless leg syndrome, terribly swollen feet, barfed at the merest mention of licorice or sweet potatoes (random!), got alopecia after having DS, and an abdominal hernia after DD - tummy muscles have never knitted back together 😟 Hadn't realised how difficult it is getting out of bed after having a Caesarian, and avoided having a poo until I practically exploded, for fear of busting my stitches. Breastfeeding - took me months to master it, got an abscess,nth rush, mastitis and bleeding nipples, and a letdown reflex so powerful that I squirted a guy in a cafe in the eye! Otherwise, it was a walk in the park :-)

Seriously, having been there with a baby officially labelled as dysmorphic (medical speak for seriously weird looking) by every paediatrician who saw him, if your baby looks properly abnormal, then they'll tell you.

Otherwise it's safe to assume any slightly misshapen head, folded over ears etc is probably normal moulding and squashing from having to be squeezed through a cervix.

Hmm going to the toilet after post birth rest and finding a thing like a calf's liver in my pants - scared the hell out of me as I thought my insides had fallen out but it was just a massive lump of congealed blood (bleagh).

Yes to the ribs! Dd constantly kicked my ribs from around week 30 and at times I literally screamed out loud.
That morning sickness can last until 25 weeks and then be immediately replaced by heartburn.
Oh and the diaohera - I literally shat myself multiple times (wish we had a downstairs loo).
That you definitely should show your birthing partner where everything is in the bags - he couldn't find a nappy or hat!
The blood after - I jumped off the bed to go to the toilet - nearly fainted and the whole surrounding area was covered in blood. The midwife told me (kindly) to wet myself 😂