Things you only learned about pregnancy and birth once you were committed

[BestZebbie]

Inspired by the thread about giving women more information about natural birth.... What happened to you/ your friends during pregnancy and birth that came as a total surprise?
I'll start with:
Temporary deafness in late pregnancy (probably fluid related, like swollen ankles)
Arthritis post-pregnancy, apparently triggered by it
Pains when the placenta implanted (meaning that I thought it was all going wrong)

First time around- poisonously smelly farts (they could kill), the bleeding, the first post delivery poo would be horrendous and that I really wouldn't care who saw me spread eagled and naked.

Second time around- it is possible to hold your newborn and think what an ugly baby. This thankfully didn't cause any bonding issues but he was ugly but now a beautiful wee boy!

How much the early days can mess with your head. I don't remember having much anxiety or confusing symptoms with the first 2 DC, had a chemical pregnancy last month but conceived again this month. I've had cramps from 5 days before AF was due, a couple of incidents of spotting & one unexplained episode of D&V. I'm still only 4+2 & my brain is so messed up I can barely function!

How true the saying "every pregnancy is different" is. All of my pregnancies have been very different! Who knew there were so many ways for pregnancies to differ?! Before I thought you got morning sickness to varying degrees...

I have a stretchmark on my mons pubis.

Pubic hair does not grow on it

Yup, rocking supermarket trollies!

Was totally shocked when I bled vaginally after my c-section!

That you can immediately bond with one twin and not the other

I had months of guilt over that, but apparently it's a normal reaction to bond with the healthier (larger) one to protect yourself. I really wish someone had told me, because it contributed to my PND and I may have over-compensated a little .

That after 26 hours of labour, when you ask for more pain relief you are told you can have 2 paracetamol.

16 year olds can pop them out on no meds,so I was to stop overreacting.

Followed 15 minutes later being run at high speed towards an operating theatre where 23 people assembled to save me and DD.

Oh and one I'd forgotten: loads of people grow more hair in pregnancy but mine didn't grow much on most of my body - apart from my pubic hair. Which reached halfway down my thighs by the time I gave birth It's back to normal now, but the frightening pregnancy pubes were definitely one thing I hadn't expected....

bleeding nothing for me, afterpains nothing too, ( know someone who had to call ambulance) pregnancy ok as well.

but labour,...NO. Will be encouraging my girls to have sections

How bloody rude and neglectful midwives are.
How painful the after pains are.
Lack of support.
Breastfeeding struggles.

That you should take a ball and chain to keep the midwife in the room, because you can bet your life that the minute she leaves th e room, for a doughnut break (honestly!) or to check on another patient, or for a cup of tea, or a toilet break or any damn reason whatever! That's when that baby is going to appear. Two babies delivered by auxiliary and by bewildered student!

I was treated wonderfully by the midwife attending when I was in labour. Perhaps because I had had an epidural and my waters went before contractions started, but I was never left alone. Whilst my labour was long, it wasn't bad.

The (female) doctor who gave me "two stitches for neatness" whilst failing to mention I had a second degree tear left a lot to be desired though. Left me with a misguided expectation regarding my recovery time.

That you can get morning sickness and heartburn from the moment you are pregnant right up to delivery.

That during pregnancy you can get excruciating nipple pain, especially if it gets cold. The only way to get rid of the pain was to rub them or apply heat, got some really strange looks as you can imagine but the pain was unbearable.

That you can go in to shock whilst in labour but everyone else will carry on without explaining to you why you might be shaking so violently, it was months before I realised what had happened.

Pregnancy carpal tunnel

Pushing taking forever

With my first, I really wish someone would have told me to rest when contractions started. I was so determined to do 'active labour' and to 'establish labour' that I exhausted myself going up and down the stairs and around the block, etc. I had 2 days of labour ahead of me.... I should have just tried to sleep!

Contractions for the placenta, for me, were worse than the ones for the baby.

Feeling so alive during labour. It's not easy, but it is primal and miraculous and utterly your body and you doing this. Such a powerful feeling, and it surprised me.

I had no idea that pregnancy can induce gallstones and therefore thought I was dying when I 'passed' my first stone when DD was 8 weeks old. Pain equal to childbirth in my experience.

Not fair, fat or forty - took a long while to work out the issue. Once we found out every bloody midwife and health visitor decided to tell me they had endless patients waiting for gallbladder removal?!

Nosebleeds

Agonising indigestion that made my stomach swell and stick out, from week six until I started feeling the baby have hiccups himself, that prevented me from eating and drinking more than a mouthful or two at a time until the GP recommended Ranitidine to reduce how much acid I was making.

I would snore so badly that I'd wake myself up.

That getting up for a shower while still slightly numb from a spinal (for manual placenta removal) would result in me unwittingly leaving a trail of green antibiotic poo behind me.

That a hiccupy, rattly sounding baby might also need medication to reduce stomach acid production before he can start enjoying life (or be laid down without screaming).

On the other hand, I also didn't know:

that pregnancy would switch off my hayfever overnight before I'd even tested

how amazing the first food and sleep would feel after giving birth.

I'd get milk drunk when feeding the baby as well as him. DH has some funny photos of us both lying cuddled up on the sofa looking spaced out the first day back home.

Ooh pregnancy switches off my allergies too (though it just reduces my cat allergy to a weak sneeze, doesn't switch it off) I've always wondered how that worked to be honest.

Maybe they need to do some research

Yes to the dreams - I can still vividly remember some of them and my youngest is 4!
Faster definitely isn't always better, DC2 shot out like a bat out of hell and we both ended up on oxygen in shock for a short while (both fine after about 20 minutes )
Pregnancy can make you snore so loudly it can wake next door
How bloody marvellous pethadine is. In fact it was so good I specifically requested it to not be offered to me in subsequent labours due to the fact I was totally off my tits the first time round and made an arse of myself (another )

Oooooh the bidet! Porcelain heaven...

Having a breech baby automatically means a ELCS - utter bliss without any of the horror mentioned up thread. However, you need to be REALLY careful after your csec and not go shopping in Mothercare on your way home from hospital, check out baby grows for tiny babies and then overbalance, almost fall over and then feel something "ping" inside so that a few days later you bleed and get rushed to A and E because your stitches have come apart!

Oh and the heightened sense of smell is horrific. I couldn't bear to have the dog near me, have people stand too close or go shopping for raw meat and fish.

I still have my heightened sense of smell. It's incredible.

Xenadog - OWW! That sounds pretty horrific and exactly the sort of thing I was terrified of after my section

Until they were doing it, I had never thought about how just 'attaching the ventouse suction cup to the baby's head and gently drawing it out' means shoving something up your chuff and how much that was going to hurt. Before they even got the baby's head out.

That your body could start pushing regardless of what anyone else told you to do.